Friday's Dispatch

• A Germany flashback: I've mentioned before I was known in my unit for my fairly good command of conversational German. This was so true I actually handled simple translations frequently between my unit, the police and German army units etc. Downtown, once I ordered a strawberry ice cream cone. The guy indicated he couldn't understand. Thinking he couldn't hear me and not knowing his thing was to embarrass Americans trying to use the local language I spoke up a little and spoke more clearly and again in German asked for a strawberry ice cream cone. Although a little slow on the up- take I figured out fairly quickly he was trying to make a fool of me and leaned in and said in English ,"Look dude, you either will give me a strawberry ice cream cone or I'm going to drag. you. out. this. little. window. and beat you right here on the pavement in front of your shop." Suddenly, his international hosting, linguistic and survival skills improved and he gave me the most beautiful, well stacked strawberry ice cream cone you've ever seen in your life.






• When I say,"gave"- I mean he would not even look at the Marks I offered. Of all the German people I met during my time there- I literally think of him at least as much and probably more than than any other person.






• Yes, in my lifetime I have threatened the well being of another human being over a strawberry ice cream cone. Don't start taking his side- he had it coming.






• Recently while doing a skin test on a patient I asked him to expose the opposite arm he had pulled his sleeve up on. He said,"Uh-oh- you're going to see my scar." Thinking he meant a burn etc.- things that I'm used to working around I said,"Well, let me take a look." He pulled up his sleeve exposing a laceration over his wrist that had at a glance, 10-12 stitches. I looked up at him and he said,"Yeah, that's all me- I did that." "Don't sweat it." I said.






• All I could say when he walked out was,"Be good and take care of yourself and come back and see us on _______".






• Three of the women at work have decided to find me a wife. I don't know whether to be terrified or flattered.






• I'm not kidding.






• On multiple occassions I've heard my friend telling women I know he's only been seeing 2 or 3 weeks he loves them.






• 'Cause even though you left me here I have nothing left to fear. These are only walls that hold me here.

Raising Zachary

While answering a question he'd asked, I guess Zachary's mom went a little long prompting him to say, Mommmm too long. I'm feeling soooo lectured!

Wednesday's Digressions

Christmas morning 2011








• In my career I must have opened literally thousands of alcohol prep pad packs to use as skin prep for shots. The other day alcohol from one somehow managed to bypass my glasses when I opened it and splashed in my eye- right in front of a patient. There was no playing it off, I groaned and thrashed around and rubbed my eye like a crazy person- while he looked at me like I was well, a crazy person.




• When I recently remarked on another patients interesting course of study and indicated I was genuinely impressed by the short length of time in which she obtained her bachelors degree she replied," Oh yes. I'm highly intelligent, in fact I'm super smart." And then starting from the type of grass and species of trees outside my office window and working her way back into the office and discussing the history of medicine and various office technologies present she set out to prove how very smart she was.




• I've never liked the bands Dire Straits or The Police.




• Oddly, I'm warming to some of David Bowie's music although I never cared that much for it in the past.




• At Christmas at my sisters I picked up one of my great nieces who is two years old. In the past, she hadn't been that tolerant of me. She babbled and talked at me for a few seconds then rubbed the entire top of my head in a circular motion and followed that up by patting it right on the crown three times and then cracking up laughing.




• Don Rickles roasting everybody, but mostly Dean Martin.

AARP Forum Questions

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: 'Gosh, I remember these.

Monday's Missives

Sense: this picture doesn't make any.

• A Congressman has apologised to the First Lady for a remark made about the size of her rear end. A few weeks ago an area teacher got in trouble for passing out anti Catholic religious tracts to students.






• Some things you don't do in this world because if nothing else- they're rude.






• This morning Zac has been playing with the marbles I played with as a little boy, most of which were very old when I came into possession of them.






• Crispin Glover- These Boots Are Made For Walkin' No, I'm not kidding.






• Here, he stomps on a dog.

It's A Wonderful Life

Letter to Santa written in 1911 and left on a fireplace for him to find. It slipped between a shelf where it was found nearly 100 years later.

• We went to Sunshine Lake to feed the ducks and geese Saturday. Gulls have always been there, especially in winter, but I've never seen so many before. There wasn't room for any more to roost on the fishing pier.


• I'm just not in the mood for Christmas this year. A Vietnamese acquaintance said Thursday,"Oh, you a baw humbaw!"


• My sister isn't even making her awesome ham this year. We're to bring finger food.


• I get what it means, but ponder that- finger food. It sounds weird and even looks weird in print.


• One year I dropped by her house for Christmas, although I couldn't stay long since I had to work. They were at the cemetery. When I called she said,"Well, if you can't stay, every thing's out and ready, make your self a plate and we'll see you next time."


• I ate half the ham.


• She just laughed and laughed.


• Warning: do not taunt African clawed bullfrog

My Favorite Christmas Song

Timbuk 3 All I Want For Christmas A close second: Billy Squier Christmas Is The Time To Say I Love You Or, in a pinch Tom Waits Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis will do. Good night world wherever you are- I love you in spite of yourself.

Saturday's Situation

• My boys look so much like me I feel sorry for them until I see how much better than me they also look- then I get jealous.


• "How" first came out as "ho".


• Recently I did a kinda big kind thing for somebody that was unexpected by the other person and selfless on my part. Yesterday, I did a mid range good deed that will likewise go unrewarded.


• I'm getting soft in my old age.


• Overheard at work,"If another patient corrects me on something and says,"Mr. Kevin said do it this way or don't do it like that." Or, if they say, Can Kevin see me? Kevin is my nurse. I'm gonna scream."


• I do well on my own- reasonably so anyway and obviously enough so, that others often comment on that fact. However, I'm much better off with somebody good to and for me. It's good for me to be able to say, She makes me want to be a better man. It's one of those weird ironies in life, where a positive thing probably conceals a defect (or vice versa?).


• If I saw Lewis Black in a live show, I think he'd make too nervous to enjoy it- at all.


• Nine minutes: the length of time from start to finish it took to complete this post.


• Last convoy out of Iraq- aerial view from Predator.

Friday's Dispatch

• A very good article on death and dying- How Doctors Die. With their knowledge, relative wealth and access, it may not be what you'd imagine. An interesting, loosely associated thought: when they have the surprise heart attack though- you have never seen a code until you've seen one on a physician. A nursing friend recounted seeing one that involved 19 people ( I think 9 physicians). When it was over- two hours later he said, "The trash from the drugs and supplies was knee deep around the bed."



• "It was very good and very sticky!" Zac's response when I asked how dinner was this evening.



• When I see someone swab gravy or grease off a plate with bread it nauseates me.



• Tonight, there were two separate couples sitting at different tables. All four were hugely fat. Their bellies blobbed up over the edge of the tables. Two were sitting right behind me. I never saw them exchange a single word when I got up for refills, nor did I hear the closer pair say a word to each other the entire time. They just shovelled food in their mouths, made moaning noises and licked their fingers.



• Recently I met a man from Syria who had worked for years for the US Army in Iraq. It was hilarious to hear him using perfect GI slang. We laughed and talked like we'd known each other for years.



• Salespeople- ones who can transition from one product to another unrelated one and do well intrigue and impress me.



• I watched a video once looking for something to put up here to express the soldier life for those who might not understand. The video surprised me by taking me to a young guy from my old unit who was on a subsequent deployment. The first thing I thought about was the first time he had to kill somebody during his first deployment and my heart broke again for him.



• Lulz- The Price Is Right

Raising Zachary

Bubba is going to go into the Army.


Yes he is baby. I'm going to be happy for him and so proud of him.


Bubba is going to go into the Army and be a soldier and have a gun and shoot people with it.


Uh, well sometimes soldiers do have to do that.


I'm going to go into the Army.


I'll be happy for you and proud of you.


I'm going into the Army and be a soldier except I'm going to have a bow and arrow to shoot people with and have a knife.




I began to tense up on I'm going into the Army and my response maker stopped responding somewhere after bow...

Triviality

Levi Hutchins of Concord, New Hampshire, invented the first alarm clock in 1787. It only rang at 4 A.M. because that’s what time he got up.

Monday's Missives

Hey Now... Amanda Tapping










• I asked my sister and two other people recently about an old friend. They knew him, but were not friends- I asked since they live in the area where I last knew him to be still and may have learned something by osmosis about what he's doing. Today, I got a text he's looking for me- and none of the people I asked had contact with him. He just had me on his mind also. I called and spent over an hour catching up. Interestingly, he's married to a woman I knew him to be crazy about at least 20 years ago. They've been together for 13 years. Their paths crossed often through the years, but they never spent much time together. We stopped once at a store in another town. When he came out he said, You'll never believe who was working in there! He prattled on about how beautiful and awesome she was for the next hour.






• I've started rereading Enemy At The Gates- 2 or maybe 3 weeks after finishing it. It's mostly because I'm trying to learn and retain more about the Stalingrad battle and want the information to stick, but it's also because it's just such a good book.






• It's very rare I'll drink milk past the due date. It had better be some very convincing milk to make me believe it's safe to drink and I'd better be in some kind of a milk drinking, non house leaving mood.






• Tainted Love

A War Story

I've talked a little about this before, but the mom of one of the guys I was downrange with was absolutely beautiful. So yes, in one crass way or another we teased him constantly about it.

Yes, I'm sorry, but even making up stories about the time we spent with her on leave.

Moms, sisters, etc. are fair game- girlfriends and wives off limits.

When we would talk to him, it was always a hit to gratuitously say, Well, your mom.

It never got old.

A new guy who had never seen SGT Smith's mom was picking up on something, but couldn't quite figure out what was going on. So, Sergeant, your mom is kinda haw... Sergeant Smith's raised eyebrow told the kid he was too new and too low of rank to go there, so he stopped himself and said, She's a uh, a pretty lady huh?

Look little brother, let me tell you what's going on. No, she's not hawt- these guys are giving me a hard time and making fun of me- they're making a fool of me really, since they know she she's not. She weighs about 500 pounds, although no one can be sure. We took her to the feed mill once to use their commercial scale, but she broke it. She lives in the garage since she can't come in or out the front door. One time she had to go to the hospital and the paramedics had to call a tow truck out to transport her. When it's time for her bath, me and my sister wheel her out onto the driveway and hose her down and scrub her with brushes.

Hose her down!? Wheel her out?!

A welder in our town built a sort of a heavy duty cart that we use to move her around. Yeah, it's not that bad. We hooked hot water up to the garage and anyway- she likes it. She waves her stumps around and laughs. We think that means she likes it anyway, since we can't understand her when she talks.

Stumps? She can't speak?

Yeah, she doesn't have legs because of the diabetes. She just waves her stumps around like flippers- it's pretty cute really. Ever since the stroke it's hard to understand her. She never could speak all that well anyway since her gums bump together. Her teeth rotted out since she got too fat to brush them...

It was a bravura performance. I wish you could have been there.

Wednesday's Digressions

• Dinner conversation:" Kevin, do you know that woman over there? Uh, yeah kind of. Kind of? She hasn't quit staring at you and us for the past ten or fifteen minutes. Yeah, she used to kind of have a thing for me. Kind of? Yeah. A thing? Yeah, kind of. Kevin, she is beautiful, I mean she is gorgeous. Yeah, I guess."





• I think Zachary and I will go swimming tonight.





• Somebody who has been in the news for something terrible that happened has been taken in by my church and helped with needs to put their life back together. I like being a part of that. I like even more that a big thing hasn't been made of it- there was as I recall, an open request to contribute, a prayer and one update.





• I think my bike riding days are over. The last time I circled the block my lower back was in such bad shape afterward I just nearly couldn't get my shoes off and my knee felt like it was on fire.





• Whaaaa!





• Queenadreena Live- Oysters and Pretty Like Drugs

Tuesday

• Zac and I went to CiCi's tonight. A man came in with a service dog. I thought the dog was going to lose his mind smelling the food.




• Don't worry Mr. Golden Retriever- you weren't missing much.




• "Is this still Kevin's number??"- a recent text from a woman whom I bet I haven't spoken to in a year.




• Something that will get your attention every time: As I stood in front of the mirror early Friday morning I raised my hands over my head for a good old fashioned stretch and saw a visible mass under my left arm that is a little smaller than a tennis ball cut in half. It's probably nothing, but I have felt like dog mess for a couple of weeks etc. so I'll get it checked out soon.




• Would you lay with me in a field of stone

Crazy Comment - Another Blog

"Here's something for all you racists out there. Dad drove a stock car to an early death, all I remember is a drunk mans breath, ain't livin long like this."

Monday's Missives

Gerry II (AKA Sissy) the elephant who lived for years at Frank Buck Zoo in Gainesville TX. I took a friend and my mother there when I was a teenager. The friend teased the elephant acting like he had something in his hand to feed it after I fed her an apple. Before I could tell him to quit, it swatted him with it's trunk throwing him back several feet into the fence of another enclosure and covering him with elephant snot. She would later be known worldwide for surviving a flood with only her trunk above water wrapped around a tree branch. She lives now in a elephant sanctuary in Tennessee.

• Something is wrong with us: Justin Bieber is a gazillionare, a household name and his videos get literally hundreds of millions of views and this guy is busking for change.






• There may be more embarrassing things than taking your son out to eat and your card doesn't work, but I've never experienced it.






• At worship this morning they did a special presentation for veterans. The men were asked to come up and lead us in The Pledge. Everyone was pestering me to go up. Why didn't I?






• I have my own reasons for not participating in things like that, but the clincher was seeing the vignettes of member's stories on the video- _________ flew 175 combat missions over North Vietnam. _______ was a door gunner in Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos. ___________ was a an infantry officer in the Chosin Reservoir battle in the Korean War. ________ ship sank two German subs and shot down 5 aircraft...






• Good grief- I was thankful I kept my seat.






• Although he wasn't there, it was cool to see a friends story and pictures of his truck and team while we were downrange though.






• My guess is, in the church I attend there are many fewer than the national average of obese people.






• I ate some BBQ and lemon flavored chips with a sammich the other day- very good.






• Your unsolicited relationship advice for the day: if you want to see what a woman you're interested in will look like in 20 years- look at her mother. If you want to know how she'll treat you- look at how she treats her brothers.






• According to spellcheck- sammich is not a word. Smirch and smooch are offered as alternatives.






• Isn't that odd.






• Your new favorite band: The Joy Formidable- Whirring

Sunday's Summary

• When I opened the door earlier a ton of dead leaves blew in- along with a blast of cool air.


• Awesome.


• Dead Leaves And The Dirty Ground


• I hardly ever have eye boogers when I awake in the morning.


• So, what does hubby do? I asked a clerk innocently this morning as we chatted. Nothing, came her embarrassed reply. I do not understand people. A. Man. Works. A man does jobs he does not want to do until he finds something he can tolerate that supports his family.


• Handel's Messiah played at the Weatherford College Fine Arts Center December 5. Why- yes, we have a Fine Arts Center- we're quite urbane and sophisticated up in here.


• If I found out I was dying, I'd try heroin- what an aquaintence said during a conversation at work recently. Oddly, now I can say I've heard at least two people say that in my lifetime.


• How it should have ended- Jaws.

A Saturday Evening Submission

• This morning since I was running out of shaving cream I mixed the small amount I had with some lotion to shave. It caused some kind of reaction which gave me a mild chemical burn. It was about the time my face started melting off that I remembered the same thing had happened once before when I tried that trick.




• Only to me...




• We're going to my eldest son's choral performance at Chandor Gardens today. Interestingly, I tried multiple times to take him when he was little. We'd go and they'd be closed. We'd go during scheduled hours and they'd be closed for renovations. I didn't know there was a fee for admission (or forgot my wallet etc)...




• Update: the choral performance was great. I was so proud of my son. I forgot the battery to my camera so all I have are the memories in my mind. Maybe that's a lesson.




• The gardens are beautiful- really it's more than shocking it fell into ruinous disrepair at one point.




• I have never had a cold sore.




• My wife thinks your dead

Saturday's Situation

• You'd never guess who I keep thinking about. I say to my little sister. Who? she says. Chopper! (a favorite boyhood dog) I reply. Then, I wake up disoriented and in a panic, thrashing around in the bed unable to breathe.




• The lamest recurring nightmare in history.




• The guys at the shop where I take my cars are great. I'm going to send them some pizzas or something.




• The stray cat has come back around. I let it in for a minute now and then. When people are around they inevitably comment on how vocal it is. That's the most talkative cat I've ever seen...




• The shows Grimm and Terra Nova are still OK- not great.




• If they are good at it and have been doing it any time at all, people who work as wait staff in restaurants are almost always sharp witted and very intuitive.




• I am not loved by as many people as I love in this world and I'm satisfied with that.




• Staind Not Again

Friday's Dispatch

• "Tiberius Gracchus first makes a mark on history winning the golden crown from General Scipio Aemilianus by being first over the wall at the victorious Battle of Carthage. Back in Rome, now the capital of the world, he finds the growing gap between rich and poor threatening the foundations of the republic." Aha- that's what caused the fall of Rome and what will also be our downfall! Yes, that or that's what people will want believe that about every society.


• Recently on a sitcom a character said to the effect, "It's a flintlock rifle. To load it you place it in the half-cock position and place a percussion cap over the nipple..." A flintlock doesn't use a percussion cap- it uses flint for spark.


• Aerialist: the occupation of a recent patient.


• This morning I was out of the shower, shaved and half dressed by the time I'm normally maybe just getting in the shower.


• I don't know what will be for breakfast, but it will be something bad. Yesterday, I tried to be healthier and eat watermelon. It was tasteless and left me unsatisfied for hours. I felt like I was starving.


• I Can Feel You All Around Me

Thursday's Thoughts

• Zachary saw Santa last night at our church building. Parents dropped off presents with the children's names and food early then we brought the kids back. We ate and they sang carols. Later Santa walked in carrying sacks of presents. It was pretty great.






• For the first time in a while I don't have a book going and that bothers me.






• There's some controversy over US Army medevacs in Afghanistan being unarmed and the use of the red cross. The cross needs to come off for multiple reasons, but mostly yes- so they can be armed. I read a statement regarding this issue where the thrust was, German troops targeted the red cross in WWII and we still haven't learned our lesson... There were enough abuses all around in that war, but US medics early in the war reported moving on hot battlefields with impunity- the Germans simply would not engage them. This all changed with multiple outrageous murders of German medics by American troops.






• Death Valley- A reality TV film crew follows UTF (Undead Task Force) as they take out zombies, werewolves and vampires that have infested the San Fernando Valley. The entire first season can be found at the link.






• How English people sound to Americans.

A Nursing Story

• The clinic where I work has an associated Class D pharmacy. That means within certain parameters, nurses issue meds. There is a relatively narrow scope and relatively tight controls, but yes- nurses refill prescriptions without a pharmacist on site.




• Recently, a patient came in and told the front desk girls he was issued an empty bottle of medicine and presented as proof an empty bottle with the refill date of his last visit.




• Unfortunately for him- the universe brought him back to me- the same nurse who issued the bottle of meds.




• As soon as she showed me the bottle I remembered him and our exact conversation.




• I have a ridiculously good memory. Really- as in, when you challenge my recall of events not only I, but any bystanders who know me, will automatically assume you have an agenda the rest of us should be wary of.




• As bothersome to me as people who doubt how crazy good my memory can be are those people who think I'm as dumb as they are.




• Anyway.




• He had requested an extra bottle of medicine just days before since he was planning a trip to Mexico. We only issue one month of medicine at a time since side effects and adverse reactions generally develop slowly and can be caught before things go way south if we check on them at least once a month. I gave him the meds and he more or less changed his story reporting he may or may not be gone all that long anyway.




• I consulted a nursing buddy. Correctly she said,"Well, it's your word against his- you can't refuse the medicine, but you don't have to count it toward his treatment either. I said,I know you're right, But. He's. Getting. Some. Blood. Drawn. Does he have labs ordered? she asked. No, I replied, but he's gonna remember the old, bald, gringo nurse after today!




• When I went out to the lobby and called him the color drained from his face. When he walked into my office he stopped in his tracks and backed up when he saw all the lab supplies lying out on the table set up for the draw. He backed up and sat in the chair furthest away from the draw chair.




• For a while he glanced at me nervously while we waited for my translator. I looked as cool and impassive as possible. When she came in I said, We'll, since Mr. _______ thinks I would issue him an empty bottle of medicine, we have quite a bit of ground to cover... and I flat, busted out laughing- I could not contain myself. His face turned red and his eyes did not come off the floor.




• Busted.

Wednesday's Digressions

• Recently during a phone call my daughter said,"Daddy are you going to be home so I can come see you?" In the background I could hear Zac say,"If you're going to see my daddy- I'm going to see my daddy. Zaaaac- hush, stop it! I'm talking to daddy on the phone. she said. I don't care- If you're going to see my daddy, I'm going to see my daddy."


• We walked to go out and eat and hung out a little. They rode the scooter around and were good to each other. A very nice, simple time.


• I was never any better than when I did construction work or soldiering. A character on a tv show I watched once said to the effect, What happened to the time when a man built cities- just to burn them down?


• He may even hate his music, but if a guy knows anything at all about guitar, he knows Prince is one of the best living guitar players. I'd heard that before and recently read it again after some magazine shafted him in a top 100 list. My guess is it's probably true, but it still seems weird for some reason.


• I woke up with Foo Fighters song Monkey wrench in my head and I have no idea why.


• How 300 should have ended.

Yes-

that would be my carbon fiber clad bike with candle wax dripping from its frame. Thank you for bringing up hurtful memories.

A Famous Texan

Born Robert Osbourne Denver January 9, 1935 he was best known and loved for the title role of Gilligan on Gilligans Island. He was raised in Brownwood Texas where he graduated high school. Died September 2, 2005 of throat cancer.

Handel's Messiah...

• Zac and I just got in from seeing Handel's Messiah. It. Was. Pretty. Great.


• Dad, there's two girls with violins, one boy with a violin and one girl with a shello.


• I kept praying one particular lady in the choir would step out front for the last chorus...


• The center seats 500 people. There might have been 20 empty seats.


• While warming up, the first violin kept playing I think Turkey In The Straw to make the second giggle.


• My German instructor Germany was named Herr Handel. I know we asked, but for the life of me I can't remember if he was related.


• It's been over 200 years since that oratorio was composed and interestingly, tonight's performance was as much as Handel intended as has ever been performed- a small orchestra and choir with the performance itself being as grand as it was simple.


• Good night world- wherever you are.


• Soli Deo Gloria

Monday's Missives

I know it's ridiculously anthropomorphic, but I see this little guy having a self deprecating sense of humor and being a totally good sport.






• A dark thirty war story: We're motoring through a village on a road with higher ground on one side and buildings lining the other- cover and concealment for everyone, except us. I'm already fuming over the stupidity of the mission. I can see older teens and younger adults hanging back out of the light- I just catch glimpses here and there. Suddenly I hear a loud pwang against my gunners shield and then multiple impacts of something against the body of the truck. Seeing red I say, "Them !$*#@ are throwing rocks at us. Somebody is about to get straight up murdered. Stop. The. Truck." I command. I throw the door open, my finger already on the trigger and thumb wrapped around the safety of my weapon. From up and to my left I hear my gunner call out,"No, no, no, noooo, sergeant- Kev, Kev, Kev- hey, it's candy! It's candy- not rocks! Just cannnnnndy!"




• Only in Weatherford Texas or only happening to me- the waitress at my breakfast place sat across from me when I was through eating and ate the French toast I didn't touch and chatted with me.




• Freedom toast.




• Ray Kurzweill believes it only a matter of time (as in easily in our lifetimes) before AI is developed that is smarter than humans.




• Sometimes I'm afraid that's not saying much.




• When I hear Mitt Romney's name, I automatically see SNLs Jason Sudeikis in character and can't recall for the life of me what Romney actually looks like.




• Nearly heaven: front row of SNL, Alec Baldwin hosts and Foo Fighters and Elton John are the musical guests.




• It doesn't get much better than this- The Story of Riki Oh

Sunday's Summary

• Something I probably shouldn't tell on myself, but I will. Although I hadn't been taking any in a while my back was bothering me so bad recently I took a muscle relaxer. After about 2 hours I passed by the medicine cabinet and thought, Man, my back is bothering me- I think I'll take a muscle relaxer. As soon as it hit bottom in my stomach I remembered taking the first and thought uh- oh. I ran and took care of some errands before my idiotic overdose plowed me under. About the time I got back to the house I felt like I'd been soaked in glue. The phone would ring and all I could do was lie there in it's glow and watch it vibrate around. I slept for 12 hours.






• "Oh my gosh- they're all 50!?" What Zac said in front of the drink case at a convenience store this morning.






• We went to Soldier Spring Park yesterday morning. It's a city park in Weatherford that was used by Confederate soldiers for reunions after the war. It eventually became a dump and was used as such until the 70s. Lots and lots of trash still there- the spring has never come back.






• Humans are retarded.






• I dropped my eldest son off at work earlier.






• Weird.






• James Mollison Where Children Sleep.

Saturday's Situation

• On NPR the other night I heard a statistic I hadn't thought much about, but intuitively knew to be true- black people in America hardly ever kill themselves. I promise you- if you have ever counted many black people as friends, think about it and see if you've ever even heard of one (or one of their family members) suiciding- then do the same with whites you know (or even know of).





• My children's great grandfather killed himself by cutting his jugular vein with a pocket knife. During a hospital stay, he was diagnosed with cancer. He asked to be left a pocket knife and whet stone. The whet stone for sharpening the knife, For something to do and the knife itself, To clean my nails with. Sometime the next morning he did the deed. I've often wondered if there's some retired, old crochety nurse sitting in a nursing home who thinks often of walking into his room after he killed himself. When a persons jugular is severed, it can take minutes for them to die- they will bleed nearly completely out before they expire. I mean really- what a bloody mess that must have been.





• Someone I was formerly involved with and with whom I still have some contact, now likes multiple things that when we were together it irritated her to no end that I liked them.





• Women.





• My daughter wants to either play the drums or guitar when she's old enough for band.





• The Sound Of Winter





• Must be your skin I'm sinking in...

Critical Thoughts About War

"For example, one graphic and disturbing image sums up the violence that is always at the heart of war. Titled “American Soldier showing a severed Iraqi arm hung in a mosque to terrorize the Iraqi resistance”, it portrays a gloating American youth in fatigues flaunting his prize. The spoils of the hunt, his gruesome human arm, was hung against the wall of a house of worship like a rancid slab of meat." from Thomas Paines Corner

My thoughts, which are not the limit of problems related to the above post: "Gloating", I'm tempted to concede that, but I'm not a mind reader- are you? That body part was not hung from a wall- for any reason. It's not inside. He's a Marine, not a soldier. " ...violence that is always at the heart of war." War- violent, who would have guessed? It may or may not be a mosque. If that guy had placed that arm there as a "prize" to "terrorize" you would not have read about it here first, nor would I have read about it first on that blog- it would have been pervasive and there would have been criminal charges.

The truth is, that is a body lying on an awning above a door entrance after I'm sure being blown up there and there's no way of knowing if that Marine or any other American warfighter had anything to do with said bodies early expiration. It very easily could have been a suicide bomber who killed himself.

Friday's Dispatch

• I don't get annoyed a lot, but if I wake up early and forget to turn my alarm off it annoys me when it goes off.



• Jedi mind trick: if I'm in a setting where there's a lot of different personalities and the treatment of people in the setting seems to be driven by same I might hint at something I dislike to certain people- something that doesn't bother me at all. For that thing I know every catchy comeback and slam in the world- when they decide to try and embarrass me with it.



• At a homeless shelter I work at sometimes doing screenings a woman came in with water splashed on her face and tears running out of her eyes. It became apparent why when she passed by- she'd been pepper sprayed.



• Thank you God, genetics and luck.



• I have a bad habit of not drinking enough water at work.



• 50 Secrets Nurses Won't Tell You- the cover title to an article in Readers Digest. I haven't read it yet.



• On candystripe legs the spiderman comes softly through the shadow of the evening sun.

Thursday's Thoughts

• I'm surprised I still haven't seen Tati's Mon Oncle.








• Very unusual: recently I let someone get under my skin at work.








• Oddly, very important mail often gets returned as undeliverable- yet the junk mail has no trouble whatsover getting in my mail box with the same address.








• The USPS- what an anacronism.








• I haven't heard anyone in the news or talk radio mention how the Euro Zone meltdown is happening essentially exactly like detractors said it would- before the Union even became a reality.








• Mediate. Alleviate. Try not to hate

Wednesday's Digressions

• There she was like double cherry pie. Yeah, there she was like- Disco Super Fly.


• So your old scout platoon in the Army could be pretty wild huh Kevin? How wild could it get? The platoon sergeants wife chasing him with an ax handle in the parking lot of a club after everybody met there coming out of the field kind of wild. Everybody in the platoon started laughing at her- this enraged her even more. She then tore into the guys and doled out a knot or two and a few bruises before being disarmed.


• A recent patient in my office was gray as a battleship, his nose looked like WC Fields, he trembled, his liver is failing and he spoke in word salad- signs of advanced alcoholism. He's 32 years old.


• Chevelle Jars

Just Tuesday

• I know it seems odd now, but Victorian era people would commonly have a photographer take pictures of dead family members (especially children) and would often pose them with living parents and siblings.







• JACK FM is a great radio station. Their motto is something like, Playing whatever the bleep we want. They play everything from the 60s to today- I don't know how they pull it off, but they rarely get it wrong.







• I like having Mexican girlfriends and friend-girls. There are different reasons, but not the least of which is how great it is to see their eyes catch fire, their hand go their hip, the other pointing at me and hear them say,"Keh fan" followed by a string of Spanglish when they're mad at me.







• The night before her Marine husband was to be buried she refused to leave his side.







• Pardon me, my allergies must be acting up.

Crazy Toad

This guy jumped up on to the widowsill and backed under that piece of driftwood and stayed there all day. Funny, interesting creatures that are extremely beneficial to man.

Monday's Missives

I've always known horses were predators- waiting for that one chance to eat you.






• B52s Dance This Mess Around






• Mr Dodge truck who honked at me when I pulled out in front of you tonight: Uh, yeah- about that, when you're travelling easily twice the speed limit around a blind corner you're going to get that now and then. People will pull out in front of you since you essentially weren't there when they felt they could commit to their turn.






• The beans from Taco Cabana are great- some of the best I've had in my life.






• Zac and I saw Puss In Boots at the Weatherford College Fine Arts Theater this past Sunday. He loved it- especially the audience participation.






• A patient who had been referred to the public health department where I work told his private physician a ridiculous lie, causing me and other nurses in the food chain to have to deal with said physician today- how odd.






• I used to get pressure fairly often to go to med school from friends, family and yes, physicians. I'm happy being a nurse and the only time I have a tinge of regret is when I interact with a physician whom I know I could step up and do way better than right now- not after years of school and training, and it does happen.

Pre Sunday Afternoon Nap Thoughts

• Zac and I got up early and had pancakes and grilled chicken. He drank chocolate milk. I drank too much coffee. Now that I've quit grinding my teeth, I'm seriously thinking a nap would be pretty awesome.



• I thought the church building where I attend was built in the late 1800s. When I walked around the corner this morning though I noticed the cornerstone read either 1900 or 1910. It was hard to tell- the inscription was so eroded. That's nice- that sense of historical perspective- an inscription chiseled in marble and in a relatively short time it will be unreadable.



• Regardless, everybody associated with the construction of that building is long gone.



• The Bible class I attend is usually great. There's always a lengthy, heartfelt prayer list which is good. Even better is the tears sometimes shed talking about those in need. Maybe better still is the tears people wipe from their eyes laughing about different things. Maybe better yet even is we never start on time and the room buzzes with people getting caught up from the last week.



• I had to get up and move around this morning and couldn't stay in class and ended up in the auditorium sitting up in the balcony. There was a class for older adults in progress on the ground floor. I couldn't see anyone, but the teacher had a very pleasant sounding voice and was saying a lot of things I needed to hear. It was nice to listen to that disembodied voice and think and pray alone.



• It's obvious, I'm sure that stained glass artisans any time in the past would have known their work would would be marvelled at for a long time since man has been admiring their work for hundreds and hundreds of years, however I always wonder, what did the man making them expect of his work- of himself? Did he imagine people being awed? It hasn't been that long since the glass was made in the building I was in this morning- who did that work? Could I find out if I wanted?



• Church buildings should have stained glass.



• I opened a Bible this morning and the first passage I came to had a list of people going to Hell.



• My first thought: well, at least I'm not a sorcerer.

Sunday's Summary

I'm thankful I live in a country where goobs could still do this if they wanted, but nearly all of us choose not to and likewise, nearly all of us would believe it wrong (and oddly comical).










• Recently I heard Michele Bachmann after mispronouncing Iranian President Ahmedenijad's name make - an I promise you, patently false claim that he had said to the effect, he'd destroy Israel if he had The Bomb. He may very well want that- but he's never said it. He may be crazy as an outhouse rat, but he's not that dumb.



• Another crazy thing I heard in the 5 minutes of sound bites I listened to: Perry or Romney one saying he'd draw down forces in Afghanistan to 10 or 15 thousand. That is crazy. We either need to get completely out of there or double our commitment. A severe draw down would inevitably result in a much higher rate of casualties.



• Those people are about the electable best the GOP can do?



• Someone invited me to do something with them for Thanksgiving out of sympathy. That really bothered me.



• A friend in the most genuine (if pathetic) invitation I've ever had, invited me to have lunch with her at the restaurant she works at.



• I'm allergic to cats., but cool ones are among my favorite animals



• "Kickin' it with the bb gun shootin' rednecks!" The last text message I received.



• Don't ask me- I didn't ask him.



• I just can't look it's killing me- a cover of The Killers Mr. Brighstside on violin and piano.

Crazy Comment Another Blog

"Palin is the brightest and sharpest Republican and is at the top of the heap! With Limbaugh being head of the GOP and telling the Republicans in Congress what to think and do, and Brains Palin with him, looks like the Republicans will just be unstoppable. The Republicans will rule the world with their iron fists of law. If Palin would just divorce Todd, and marry Rush, it was just be plain "happily ever after" in Right-Wingism. But Rush's Viagra habit would become a lot more expensive than it is even now when he goes to places to have (child?) sex at those exotic places."

Saturday's Situation

A picture that someone who swears they love me sent from Colorado- to torture me.





• I really don't know where to start on all the grammatical errors in this article on Woody Allen's son. Really, it's pretty bad.


• Someone mentioned recently in an E mail remodelling their house, another mentioned they were back to work. Now, I'm inundated with ads for home improvement centers and chiropractors.


• Ridiculous.


• All things being equal, I assure you, the care you receive from a DO will be much more satisfying than an MD.


• Why'd you have to go and let it die?

Friday's Dispatch

• Zac and I started watching the series The Adventures of The Swiss Family Robinson on HULU last night in bed. I remember when it first came out in '98, but never saw it. I zonked out after about 30 minutes or a little more. I awoke three hours later- well into the fourth episode. Zac, are you awake? I whispered. Yes, I'm watching this show...


• We took big brother to catch his ride to Tarleton so his pre Army training group could do some halftime show and meet an area soldier who was wounded in Afghanistan. Knowing the guy was wounded in the right hand by an AK round he said,"I guess in the Army you can't shake hands with your left?" Knowing the opposite was true, we looked him up. He was also wounded in the left hand by shrapnel.


• That must have been one bad day in Wardak Province. Hey, there's the title to his story: A Bad Day In Wardak.


• The other day I took a cup of solid ice out of the freezer that hours before I'd intended to allow to chill there for 10 or 15 minutes then drink. I let it melt a little, then poured water in the cup to have ice water. It may have been my imagination, but it tasted salty- I wonder if salt precipitates out of ice, but we never notice since the volume of water is normally larger in a glass of ice water with the normal amount of ice in cubed form?


• Zac brought a Bible to me last night and asked me to read it to him.


• The word on the street has it Zombieland is going to become a television series. I'm predicting terrible.


• Men In Black

Thursday's Thoughts

Zac: " What superhero starts with "P" and can you draw him for me?" Uh, yeah- let me get right on scarring you for life by drawing the Punisher for ya!

• Recently, I saw a Silver Alert for a missing elderly person. From the drivers license picture it was obvious he had advanced Parkinson's Disease. Somebody- multiple people in fact must have known and must have known for a while, that gentleman had no business driving.



• Today someone tried to get me involved in a imbroglio of a brew ha ha that would probably have ended a marriage if I would have divulged the information that was asked of me. I declined and in fact told one of about 2 lies I've told in the past 20 years of my life.



• It better be worth it.



• Ha! Yeah, I know- the guilty parties will find out I didn't squeal and find a way to blame me.



• And they'll both also find a way to hate me.


• People: AmIright?



• Q: Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey for the first Thanksgiving? A: Because they couldn't fit the moose into the oven.



• Lulz



• Woodstock 99

Wednesday's Digressions

• Man, what a good song- Letters To Cleo Here And Now The EDGE has been playing some good music this morning.





• Had to leave the breakfast place this morning without eating. Some dude was screaming and cursing his children. He needs to forgive the ex for whatever he thinks she did to him and get back on whatever product he's trying to quit- then everything will be OK.





• I'm kidding- he's going to kill every one of them in their sleep and then go their moms place of work and blow her away.





• A woman who has no fashion sense doesn't have to worry about spending too much time with me. It doesn't matter what her main style is as long as she can pull it off, but no open toe shoes with hose, no sandals with socks, outdated hairstyles, sweats outside the house or tube tops etc.





• We're going fishing this afternoon. We haven't cooked any of the fish we've caught yet, but that's on my list.





• I need to find another dry cleaner, the one I used for years closed. The one I used prior ruined a brand new shirt I took to them. It was literally new- as in I'd never even worn it and had only tried it on after opening the package. I only took it to them since it was a wrinkled mess from being folded up in the package. When I picked it up it was stained, torn and had a button missing. There was a note attached that said they received it that way.





• Really.

War Pron

Interesting video of a BILL missile striking a tank- video description is inaccurate. Same engagement from a different angle

Monday's Missives

• My favorite song for most of 20 years now. It puts me in a good mood like no other song and is one of the few songs that I not only know every word- I sing along every time hear it.







• We saw a flock of turkeys (about 16) at Sunshine Lake this morning. We've seen flocks with as many as 3o birds in the past.







• A funny basic training flashback: after marching to the chow hall the platoon would call out in unison: Platoon guide, what's the order of chow? What is the order of chow? the platoon guide (another trainee with the responsibility of accounting for the rest of us goofs) would respond with, The order of chow is, 1,2,3,4, or 2,3,4,1 etc.- alternating by squads each day. We would all reply in unison and loudly, Drill Sergeant, the order of chow is 1,2,3,4. The order of chow is 1,2,3,4. Then for about ten seconds everybody would call out, Wooooooooooooooooooo and after building to a crescendo abruptly stop. Then, we'd call out, Door- maaaaaaaaaaaan. During the last part the last man in the last file would run to the front of the line and hold the door open and the drill instructor would call out, Enter! and we'd all file in.







• Funny.







• Maybe you had to be there.

People Scares Me

Actual search criteria used by your (I'm not claiming them) fellow humans and the corresponding number of pages returned.



• 883,000,000: Why do I have no friends.

• 7,570,000: Why do I have diarrhea.

• 4,170,000: Why do I have so much discharge.

• 7,120,000: Why do I have to pee so much.

• 230,000,000: Why do I have gas or so much gas.

• 456,000: Why do men have nipples.

• 6,000,000: Why men don't call.

• 8,380,000: Why men lie.

• 4,980,000: I want a new drug.

• 114,000,000: I want a wife.

• 783,000: I have one testicle.

• 21,900,000: I have one more drink.

• 12,400,000: I have three breasts.

• 320,000: I have three testicles.

• 1,580,000: I have three girlfriends.

• 42,300: Why Luke Skywalker is an idiot.

• 1,610,000: I would like to buy a hamburger.

• 286,000: I would like to extend you an invitation to the pants party.

• 818,000: I think im pregnant.

• 442,000: I hate Indiana Jones 4.

from geekologie

Just Saturday

• I've been having the lamest dreams- shaving my head, paying bills, sleeping...



• As interesting as the ISS may be, when it crosses my mind I always think- the Earth after solving all her other problems decides to put a 100 billion dollar gerbil habitat into low Earth orbit.



• The second e in interesting continues to elude me on the first try.



• The Cordon Bleu sammich from Denny's is pretty OK.



• Unless it is eating, the corey cat shoves it's head into the same corner of the log it hides under in the aquarium- in the same exact position every time and doesn't move an inch.



• It seems rare to me to find a woman who likes milk. If true, is it a reaction to people pushing them to drink it from an early age?



• I have never bought anything off E-Bay.



• An Army buddy bought a remote control airplane off E Bay for the opening bid of 99 cents. We started it up and watched it slam into the side of the barracks and come apart in 4 or 5 pieces.



• ...I can't feel anything, but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.

Friday's Dispatch

My eldest landing after skydiving. Yes, I raised a human being who jumps out of perfectly good airplanes.










• The All Terrain Caucasian reminded me recently of something I've always believed- how very important it is to learn how to read well and enjoy it.







• Stupid Girl







• Zac's bike got too little for him very rapidly.







• I already know that as he gets a little older I'll most likely become a foster parent again, even if I have to do it alone.







• That, or find a younger, fertile hottie to make more babies with.







• Unlikely.







• Abraham Lincoln as the the true Father Of Our Country is probably my favorite President. Really- were it not for him our country could just as likely still be a crazy North/South divided series of nations.







• And I mean that literally the way I wrote it: not just North and South, but maybe several different nations separated/divided by the Mason Dixon line.







• Roosevelt's son, Teddy Jr. is definitely one of my favorite historical characters. He was the only General officer to land on D-Day. Much is sometimes made of the fact he had arthritis and the same is often written to be related to earlier injuries in WWI. This is well and good, but the truth I think here is more powerful. The debilitating nature of his arthritis and the fact he died at a relatively young age of a heart attack shortly after the invasion tell me he must have had very severe rheumatoid arthritis, from a very early age (maybe since birth) and every single step he took in WWII must have been pure agony.





• "Do you want power over something? Be more nearly real than it." Charles Hoy Fort

Wednesday's Digressions

From Awkward Family Photos- yeah, not that you wouldn't have guessed...








• When I meet someone from Iraq in my clinic I very rarely mention to them I've been there- the world is just too small... However, I broke that rule today and mentioned to someone a village I used to patrol when I realised he had lived near there. His father was the mayor of that town.










• Do women like it when you notice they've lost weight or not?










• It seems to me a high compliment when friends want to fix you up with someone they know.










• I've gained a little weight- some of my pants no longer fit even- however, I don't look all that bad. Oddly, the thing that really bothers me is my ear lobes have gotten fat.










• It's weirding me out.










• In another life I had a pretty nice house. It really meant a lot to me the first time I had my whole extended family there for a big Christmas. Me being me instead of the usual Christmas standards I grilled steaks and chicken fajitas. The kids rode a four wheeler around the house. I had Christmas music playing and It's A Wonderful Life on the tv with the volume down and a fire in the fireplace. I hope they haven't forgotten that day.










• I know I never will.










• One of these days the sky is gonna break and everything is going to escape and I'll know.

A New Quote I Intend To Enhearten Myself With

"No one is more cherished in this world than someone who lightens the burden of another." ~ Anonymous

Monday's Missives

• I don't want to sound too curmudgeon-ie, but if I have to be told something is art- it's not. While not a completely original thought to me- it sums my outlook up pretty well.








• We're about to go to Ci Ci's.








• Oddly, I use contractions more in my writing than my daily speech.








• I make it a point to learn something from and about each of my patients on each of their visits.








• Jedi mind trick: when I see people in the waiting room I recognize, but may not remember their name I slip over to the sign in log, get their name and walk through the room and stop and say,"Hey, ______, how are you? etc. I do this especially with patients I suspect may become non compliant, who seem agitated about the wait or whom I have genuinely hit it off with in the past, but haven't seen in a while.








• One of Zac's nicknames means something very derogatory in another English speaking country. I'm not even sure how it evolved with us and I'm equally sure I've never heard the term before.








• If I were to be diagnosed with a serious disease and the treatment was especially difficult or the odds of survival long- I'd bow out and die gracefully.








• How did we get here, when I used to know you so well?