Sunday, March 15, 2020

Y'all are just being ridiculous

If you contributed to this nonsense- you are as dumb as a bag of hammers.

Friday, March 13, 2020

Oddly Misplaced Quote

"My fellow Ameicans I'm pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes." Ronald Reagan, said by the US President during a microphone test in 1984."

This was placed under "Gaffes, blunders and embarrassing words" on a web site. Odd, I thought. It was one of the bravest, most pertinent, effective and funniest quotes in the history of politics but, a blunder? No, not even close.

Monday, February 10, 2020

Monday's Missives

    Image result for memes funny

  • Today is 06/16/2016 and one of the last things a woman has said to me is, OK, all I am saying is if you want some lovin' you're going to have to wait until I get out of the shower so I am fresh!
  • Spudwinkles chorizo quesadillas are mui excellente.
  • Todays hip hop music is so bad and unoriginal they even copy each others weird noises. This is aside from the real music they borrow.
  • A lot of the 90s hip hop music was as good as any music ever made.
  • Recently, after vacation a coworker asked me about my trip. During my intended short response she interrupted to tell me about her experiences in the same area. After she beat me down with that for a while she said, I'm sorry- tell me about your trip! I took a deep breath and started talking. About 10 seconds (maybe) into my response without a word, she turned around and walked away.
  • She may be the second most toxic person I have ever met.
  • Unusal for me: I feel incredibly lonely right now. I'll get over it but it is compounded by the fact I have reached out to a couple of people and haven't heard back.
  • A little goes a loooong way but I have always liked The Dead Kennedys and first heard them that I recall in 1987.
  • An older neighbor lady recently asked me to help with a very minor chore at her house. Being an eternal, chivalrous gentleman I of course acquiesed. This minor chore led  to another, then another which led to taking her (and her dog) to the store (in my truck). Four hours after entering her house I left her - as a better human being in general and neighbor in particular.
  • It is 1131 on 06/18/2016 and I just watched a few minutes of All The Pretty Horses waiting for Mad Max Fury Road to come on; I think I grew a little bit of a vagina.
  • No Man Is Good 3 Times

Monday, February 3, 2020

Mondays Missives

Stay classy Weatherford!

  • Both of the local radio personalities who were the first ones I heard mispronounce Houston as Yewston to sound smart and fancy- now say it properly.
    Goodness from DJ Screw. Not for everyday use but it's pretty good every once in a while.
  • How to know my mom made certain things better than your mom: I never thought she made everything the best. For example, her meatloaf was terrible and it didn't matter what vegetable it was she would cook it into oblivion but omigosh- she could cook a chicken fried steak and fried chicken that would make you lose your mind and she made great cornbread and pinto beans.
  • I've always liked the word pinto.
  • A female friend of mine mentioned meeting somebody but the dude kept staring at her cleavage. My first thing to say was maybe the last thing I should have (although I think I knew my audience well enough). I told her, Well, in his defense- you do have pretty great cleavage though...
  • It is 04/02/2019 @1825 and I am at R and K for taco Tuesday. Pretty OK but I don't like how they season the rice in the evening. I will go double beans next time.
  • I knew Putin was made of sturdier stuff but It is surprising to me how terrified of Putin Trump shows himself to be.
  • Somebody famous died recently. Their cause of death may have been cancer as reported but it was apparent to me that person was affected by Parkinsons for years. 
  • Related thought: Parkinsons won't kill you- it is the associated pneumonia or urinary tract infections that do you in.
  • I once witnessed a co-worker pose herself as a physical threat to another co-worker. As a bonus- the director also witnessed it.
  • Too many people these days think they have to argue to the death over the tiniest difference. To me this is so true, I literally don't even like talking about musical tastes with people that I don't know.
  • Also, too many people presume that everybody else in the world is as big a jackass as they themselves are.
  • People are making a big deal of glass being spread on a Michigan beach

Monday, January 27, 2020

Monday's Missives

  • 100% of the people from Africa I have occasion to deal with at work pronounce Tanzania as TanZainiah and not Tanzah- neeyah. Consequently, I say it the first way which sounds more correct to my ears making me sound to an American either pretentious or like an idiot- depending on my audience.
  • Recently I bumped into an old Army buddy. He wants to get together for drinks to tell war stories. I should probably get pre paid legal and start an Uber account.
  • My eyebrows get old man bushy real quick.
  • If you date younger women they generally will not care about gray chest hair, head hair, face hair or whatever but yeah- you better get your stuff under control if you got bushy old man gray eyebrows.
  • Bennie and the Jets has been playing in a loop in my brain for several days or even a few weeks now.
  • Recently, I interacted with a worker in a business in what I thought was just a generally friendly manner. I am very sure he thought I was flirting with him.
  • Bonus information- he's 16 years old.
  • Bear commented here that I should give those Ayn Rand books a try on audiobook in spite of the fact that reading them in print nearly killed me. For some reason I get that but can't explain why. I may give it a try.
    Wave of garbage coming across the lake caused by heavy rainfall further up stream. It has come from the creek that feeds the lake. It's a little hard to tell maybe but where I'm at it's barely raining but it was pouring up stream. I had never seen that happen before.
  • An old girlfriend flashback just hit me recently. While hanging out I sat up from the couch to put a remote on the coffee table. As I did so she jumped on me causing me to fall backwards pinning my right arm under my back. She straddled me and pushed down on my shoulders. I told her she was going to have to let me up- it was hurting me. She actually pushed down harder. She then let out kind of one of those evil madman laughs saying, Muwahaha- Now you know what it's like for us women! She wouldn't let me up until I begged her.
  • Just driving by her old place makes me feel weird.
  • 93 lbs- her weight in case you were wondering.

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Monday, January 13, 2020

Monday's Missives

  • On my commute I see 2 different vehicles that have some permutation of John Galt for the license plate. As I understand it there is a 92% chance a guy who would have that type of plate and I would probably have some common philosophical ground yet there is a 9000% chance I would dislike a guy who felt he had to have that plate.
  • Years ago I tried reading the book that character's name came from. It was terrible. It is causing me to feel tired just thinking about it.
  • My voice recognition has stopped working. That stinks bigger than I thought it would.
  • I love the show Time Team.
  • If I were famous, unless directly involved in a conversation on social media - I would have one of those filters that doesn't send the post for a specified time. 
  • It could wait 10 minutes.
  • I need to get my DNA test done.
  • I no longer have any black friends.
  • Recently in a friendly manner I asked a fellow nurse to lunch. She accepted and I think took it as being asked out. What made me think she thought that? She blushed and smiled so big I was afraid her face might break and she got gushy. She is either into me (or at least thinking about being that way) embarrassed I'm into her or she is way too into chicken shawarma.
  • I didn't realize how much Charlie and Eddie Murphy sounded alike until I heard clips of Eddie hosting SNL.
  • It is very hard for me to read fiction.
  • The attack by the Saudi pilot here was inevitable.  
  • Well you make me nervous.