Thursday, August 25, 2016

As I have Mentioned Before I Work With Multiple People For Whom English Is Not Their First Language. Among These People, One Is The Leg Breaker Assigned To Collecting Monthly Coffee Money. What Follows Is Our Correspondence The Last Time I Was In Arears

Queridos señora ____________ os escribo esto para decirte que no tengo mi dinero de café en este momento, pero lo haré pronto. Ya ve usted que soy un pobre campesino de un pequeño rancho en Michoacán. Mi vaca que no da leche más. Mis hijos siempre están hambrientos y mi esposa me late. Apreciaré su entender mi situación.

Below is the translation.

Dear Mrs. ____________ I am writing this to tell you I do not have my coffee money right now but will soon. You see, I am a poor farmer from a small ranch in Michoacan. My cow she doesn't give milk anymore. My children are always hungry and my wife beats me. I will appreciate your understanding my predicament.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Even though the first day of fall is nearly a month away and it is 90 degrees as write I this; there is a chill in the breeze.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

The Story Of A Hairy Cookie Or As My Work Buddy Said: Gag. Me. With. A. Spoon.

  • This is one of a co-workers famous TGIF cookies.
  • In this case the T stands for terrible.  G stands for, gag. The I for ignominious. The F for foul. And finally the R is for repulsive.
  • Oh, there is no R? Oh, I'm sorry. Imagine my embarrassment. Well, work with me and imagine the saying is, TGIF-R because I really need to work, repulsive in there somehow.
  • I took a bite then simultaneously feeling the hair on my tongue and lip- spit it out. It all then hung together as you see here.
  • The room started spinning and I felt a cold sweat. My stomach began churning and felt like it was on fire.
  • I mean, God- it isn't even your color hair!
  • Why not wear a hair net or at least a bandana? Weren't you afraid you would get cookies in the hair?!
  • I have heard of hair pie before but hair- cookie?! That doesn't even have a ring to it.
  • 100,000- the average number of hairs on a human head. 99,999 the number on the head of my co-worker.
  • The load carrying capacity of a strand of human hair is 100 grams according to the Google. Yep, that would be about right.
  • Me: Garcon! Waiter: Yes sir, may I help you? Me: I'll say! There is a cookie in my hair!
  • The average person loses 100 hairs a day; at least we know where one of hers ended up.
  • I've got more- but you get the idea.

Monday, August 22, 2016

Monday's Missives

  • This past weekend (today is 02/01/2016) we spent the weekend in Abilene. As we were driving we saw that the area we intended to camp in had a wildfire sweeping through it. We stayed in a hotel. Broke my heart.
  • We explored the park the next day though. My kids put out a couple of hot spots with water from a nearby creek.
  • I peed on one hot spot as the kids ran ahead of me.
  • We saw a lot of owl pellets.
  • Abilene State Park was built by Company 1823 of the CCC.
  • We went to Buffalo Gap. The cat that lives in the visitor's center for the historic village is a black bob tailed beast named Jack. He is cool.
  • Lunch on Sunday was at Mary's in Strawn. They call their chicken fried steak, World Famous! I call it adequate. One I ate there was kind of nasty. The other two were adequate so I guess the two out of three average rule applies. Their fries are really good though. Zac had the hugest bowl of chili I have ever seen in my life. Honestly- it was ridiculously big. Did they mean for an 8 year old boy to eat it or the entire table to soak in it?!
  • There used to be a bar on Jacksboro Hwy called Mary's Mistake.
  • Here is probably my favorite (at least at the moment) Smashing Pumpkin's song.
  • The last email I received: "Morning!
    I have a scary movie for us from the pulga!"
  • Don't ask me.
  • I guess I'll figure it out tonight.
  • Women I have known are usually very poor amateur checkers players but always seem to take to chess well and learn rapidly.
  • I'll keep my sarcasm to myself on the preceding observation.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Wednesday's Digressions

  • It would have been truly shocking if there were more than one person involved in the Dallas police officer murders.
  • As of this time 1803 on 07/08/2016 there is no one in this world I can call a true and trusted friend. There is an aquaintence I suppose I could hang out with but I do not trust her motives and besides- she can be nerve wracking.
  • A woman who is too brash or one who is  too much of a wallflower would get on my nerves in equal measure.
  • There is a deer flie harassing me as I write this from the deck. I don't recall ever seeing one in town.
  • The Peach Fest is this weekend. I do not go to the festival nor do I curse the extra traffic it causes. That makes me an oddity in this town.
  • I was an early follower of The Daily Woo.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Just A Brief Rant

  • When a person from the Middle East (or a Western convert to Islam) who has Jihadi rhetoric posted to their Facebook, are known for being provocative in their interpersonal relationships in regards to being Muslim, they have recently travelled to troubled regions, they're loners who are even estranged from their own families who while shooting and/or blowing people up shout Allahu Akbar! we are mystified as to the reason why they're killing folks. When some maniac shoots somebody within a mile of an abortion clinic; it is ultimately the work of militant evangelical Christians abetted by Republican politicians, the NRA and gun manufacturers.
  • The preceding would be comical if it wasn't so true and that is sickening on multiple levels. If nothing else it is another example of how terribly we process and act on information and how willfully gullible and oblivious Western people can be.
  • A postscript to the first point: we could argue about the how and whys- the details but not the truth of that observation (even though it is intentionally over the top).

Monday, August 15, 2016

Notes From Teh Road

Image result for Alpaca Road Trip Meme
  • We have taken a road trip and are in Ardmore at Motel 6. It was recently remodelled but already looks beaten. It gets rode hard and put up wet I am sure. We got here before 6 PM and were lucky to get a smoking room. They gave me a discount on it though. I am rarely asked if I want smoking verses non- it is most often presumed I will be cancer and gingivitis free.
  • We saw a lot of cows in stock tanks just soaking in the water and not moving a muscle. That sight and the sound of cicadas always mean hot to me.
  • We saw the aftermath of a horrible wreck driving through Decatur. Rex Hoskins was on the scene and it made me think everything was under control.
  • Nope- no sarcasm there.
  • Jorges in Paradise is always good. Zac ate enchiladas from the grown up menu.
  • We are eating caramel Bugels, drinking Gatorade and watching animal docs on Discovery Channel.
  • Life is good.
  • My neighbor back in Texas has been out of pocket for days. When I knocked on her door her dog did not bark and her plants are dying so I presume she is not there (or not there and dead, unless her canine companion died at the same time).
  • The Motel 6  pool is full of people. We followed the old motto of, Just say no to hepatitis and came back inside. Zac can swim tomorrow- in a lake where all he has to contend with are flesh eating bacteria, poisonous snakes and that one odd, out of place alligator you always read about.
  • Hepatitis up there came out as hepatits first.
  • Ha!
  • It doesn't matter the time of day; it is usually bumper to bumper on 35 heading north during weekends these days.
  • Zac is listening to his own type of music on over ear headphones on the bed across from me. He grew up. How did that happen?!
  • It is 07/23/2016 at 1855 hours.
  • We had breakfast 07/24/2016 at Prairie Kitchen in Ardmore as is typically our wont. They could make their coffee a little stronger but otherwise- the food and service are always in equal measure very good. There are almost always people we have seen there on previous visits. It has been open since 1984.
  • There was a gentleman there with a big scar and deficit to his left cheek. He would use his left hand to osetensibly absentmindedly twirl his mustache on that side but he was just trying to conceal the scar. This was so true when had to turn away from one person he was speaking to look at another exposing the side with the scar even more- he would just open his left hand and place it over his cheek covering the whole left side of his face.
  • Chickasaw Recreation area was our next stop. The spring fed swimming holes were so cold we could not hardly stand it. As a matter of fact, with ground temps away from the water at 96 degrees and rising, when we got under the shade and near a falls area where the water was contacting a lot of air; it must have dropped the temp. 15 degrees. It was positively refreshing.
  • We saw no crayfish and aside from a couple of minnows we saw no vertebrate life forms in the water.
  • I saw a guy covered in Mexican prison tattoos.
  • It would have interesting to have been a fly on the wall and see how Native Americans used the land that comprises Chickasaw Recreation Area and interacted with each other back in the day.
  • There were a lot of mixed race people there.
  • The thought occurred to me of bringing a sample back from the spring source and one from further downstream and having the lab at our county health department test them.
  • Zac wants to go back with his diving mask to be able to determine how deep the water is at the swimming hole we mainly used.
  • Good idea.
  • For some reason this song and video kept coming into my mind when I was lost in my thoughts.
  • Goodnight world wherever you are. 
  • I love you in spite of yourself.