Thursday, October 20, 2016

Thursday's Thoughts

I wanna party with these guys!

  • For the past few days there has been a late model Ford pickup on the side of the road with a lawn mower and string trimmer positioned tantalizingly over the tailgate. Today (08/19/2016) it was moved a mile or so down and pulled well off the road and the hood was left up. My first thought was that it was some kind of bait vehicle as there was no way a guy would leave his tools in it like that- even if he had to walk with them when the truck broke down. Seeing it repositioned this morning confirmed my suspicions.
  • Yesterday I left the office early. This morning when I walked into the office there was work left for me in my chair marked IMPORTANT! It had filtered through 3 other people and nearly 12 hours of time to get to me. Two of said previous people are more more qualified to handle the issue and it is closer to be being the job of one more than me.
  • They will miss me when I am gone.
  • Yesterday there was a presumed dead body on the Insterstate covered with a sheet. I don't know if they were a pedestrian, ejected from a vehicle or were riding a motorcycle or what. I have tried to find out the who, what and why without success.
  • High performance and/or customized semi tractors have always interested me and I have thought them cool since I was a kid.
  • Once on a road trip we got stranded in the middle of nowhere when one of dad's crappy cars broke down. It was about a billion degrees. We waited a long time before a guy in a real pretty  new Peterbilt pulled over and gave us a ride. It was worth all the suffering as far as I was concerned and was one of the cooler things that had happened to me up to that point in my young life.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Wednesday's Digressions

    Image result for Scarecrow Meme

  • I am nearly sure she is wrong but today a State Park Ranger told me you can develop an immunity to poison ivy. Actually, I am nearly sure the opposite is true- many people are not intitially sensitive to it and only break out after some sensitization to the active component of the oil produced by the plant. I have engaged in  conversation about this subject with doctors, physicians assistants, E.D. nurses and Army medics who all confirm the way it works is- your body tolerates it up to a point- then it responds.
  • Barry has mentioned before a doctor not being able to truly know for certain that what they're saying as they provide expert testimony is absolutely true and he is correct. Whether it is testifying to what a person could or could not do in a certain state of impairment or how a person died- there are things they cannot know. Good luck getting anybody to believe it though.
  • BRMC Spread Your Love live in London
  • Ikea uses 1% of the worlds supply of harvested wood every year. I may be the only person who has never been to an Ikea store or ordered any of their products online.
  • Another one of those things that doesn't happen or at best doesn't happen like you think it does- LSD induced psychosis. At best, it happens to people predisposed to a mental breakdown and then- maybe. The crazy thing?  As recreational drugs go and especially considering how long it has been used and the staggering number of people who regularly use it- it is pretty safe and side affects are rare.
  • I am not advocating its use- you oughta wonder though why we believe so many lies about recreational drug use.
  • My children eat fruits and vegetables like they're going out of style.
  • Domestic cats are not mentioned in the Bible.

Monday, October 17, 2016

Monday's Missives

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  • Recently a lady in a brand new Benz was all over me when I would come to a stop in traffic. She nearly rear ended me multiple times- honestly, I do not know how she avoided hitting me on at least two of them. Predictably, she was doing her make-up while also talking on a **&$%^ cel phone. Initially, I drove further ahead watching in front of me for 4-5 vehicles for them to hit their brakes; then I would tap mine and slow down. I also began tapping the pedal multiple times to activate my brake lights and get her attention but then I had an epiphany: If she wants her children's children to be forced to come and sign their paychecks every Friday over to my grandchildren- cool. It was a zen moment. She can hit me- I'll never work again.
  • The Texas Law Hawk is my man. I don't care if DWI defense is is thing- he might bring bikini babes and little people into the court room and you know every time he made a point the red tail hawk on his shoulder would screech for justice.
  • I mean- he has a hawk and he is The Texas Law Hawk- your argument is invalid.
  • I always misspell acquaintance and epiphany.
  • A friendly acquaintance recently told me she was on the Jerry Springer show. If there is any doubt in your mind that will affect how you view a person- take it from me -it will. You simply cannot unknow information like that.
  • Oh you ask for proof? Oh, I am sorry- imagine my embarrassment- she showed us video evidence in the form of a show clip.
  • Recently while sitting in the stands at a baseball game my GF called me on ex wife's cel phone. The ex handed the phone off to me without answering or commenting except to say, Oh, here its for you.
  • How WT is that?!
  • McDonald's McGriddles are nasty.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Wednesday's Digressions

    Image result for friend memes

  • Last night (08/29/2016) I had dinner with one of my oldest nursing friends.
  • I had brisket sausage, pulled pork and ribs.
  • My stomach reignited just writing that sentence.
  • That was the first time I had ever had brisket sausage. I assure you it won't be the last.
  • We made each other laugh like crazy. Honestly- my cheeks are still hurting.
  • He quoted the great movie Johnny Dangerously. Although I have known him for over 20 years we had never discussed that movie and although we had each not seen it for years we had rewatched it within weeks of each other.
  • Part of the conversation was about how patients lie, what they lie about and the distinction of lies people will tell based on their races and backgrounds. While telling stories based on our experiences we acted out the parts of patients, affecting mannerisms and accents based on the backgrounds etc. of the patient.
  • It was hilarious.
  • Maybe you had to be there.
  • Everybody lies. How true is this? As a nurse, to be close to correct in your assessment and provide good intervention and education to a patient- if something is good for you divide the number by half of what the patient tells you. If something is bad for you multiple the number they report by 3 or even 5 to get a more accurate picture of what is going on.
  • When I thought about how old of a friend the above mentioned friend is it occurred to me I was friends with him for some years before his youngest daughter was born. She has recently started college. When I said, Wow, I remember when she was born!  He said, Yep- tempus fugit, tempus fugit...
  • Time flies indeed.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Wednesday's Digressions

    Image result for duck memes

  • Zac scored a run yesterday (09/29/2016). He rounded first and as he did, the first baseman dropped the ball. I shouted, Run Zac! Go to second! He kept going to second. The second baseman missed the ball so we again urged Zac on to third. He must have been feeling good about things- as he just kept going. As he passed third headed home I think I said something like, Omigawd- he is not going to stop! but I am not sure- I think I kind of blacked out from happiness.
  • When people say, I you can't do the time dont do the crime! regarding complaints from a prisoner about their treatment they demonstrate a possibly very missplaced assumption the prisoner was guilty in the first place.
  • People who are nominally Christians seem especially hardcore in their view of caged people. Their attitudes are directly in opposition to all of Jesus' teaching- I mean come on- he specifically commanded followers to visit prisoners.
  • When I was young even us screw ups knew we were not going to be screw ups forever. We had some encouragement toward doing better though as being a screw up was not applauded and rewarded with money and girls like it is today (the kinda opposite was understood going to be true).
  • A friend is probably going to be famous in her chosen field.
  • Crocs shoes are disgusting and pointless.
  • To buy a baseball or softball bat worth anything to ballers these days it seems like you need to spend at least two or three hundred dollars (and it might be replaced in a year) but 50 bucks will still buy all the glove you could ever want and will be kept for years.
  • There are some lessons about technology in the previous observation but also some psychology.
  • I have never drunk Ethiopian coffee.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Proverbially Speaking

"Do not insult the mother alligator until after you have crossed the river."

-- Haitian Proverb

Monday, October 10, 2016

Monday's Missives

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  • Huitlacoche is good. I eat it- I like it but when you see it in a restaurant they church it up by calling it a truffle. Ask what it is and the server will tell you, It is a mushroom that grows on corn. It is in the same kingdom as mushroom- fungi but that is where similarities end. It is a smut that infects corn with spores. 
  • Who would eat it if they knew it was a disease and it was openly offered as, "Corn Smut Quesadillas"? 
  • We fed grasshoppers and our used gum to harvester ants last (09/16/2016) night at Holland Lake.
  • We are going to the Indian Pow Wow at Traders Village today. 
  • I am rereading Empire Of The Summer Moon. This will be at least the third and maybe fourth time I have read it this year. It is a great book about my favorite Indian (Quanah Parker), a favorite tribe (Comanche) and a favorite time period in US history- the 1860s in general and Plains Indian War period in particular. 
  • There are multiple mind blowing trivia things regarding Blazing Saddles but my first two biggies would be that John Wayne was offered the role of Waco Kid but declined as it would be too blue for his image. The second bit of trivia that always makes me say, Wow when I remember it or see it in print is that Gig Young was actually cast in the  role but was fired after he collapsed on the set secondary to alcohol withdrawal (or being blind drunk- depending on which source you want to believe).
  • I have no hate in my heart but medically there is something dreadfully wrong with Hilary Clinton.