Tuesday, January 26, 2016

The Illuminati

is are vandalizing Holland Lake Park in Weatherford.

Monday, January 25, 2016

Monday's Missives

For some reason I took a picture of a red Sharpie and various pens, pencils and hi lighters on my desk. How very odd of me.
  • A couple of days ago  (today is 10/14/2015) I realized without some extra income I could soon be in a big bind. I am poor white trash as are most people I know- where to turn? It was easy for me- I signed up for extra shifts at work. I didn't want to as I already dread how tired I'll be and begrudge the various fun activities I may miss during those shifts but what stood out to me was the fact I could with a little initiative bring quite a bit of extra income into my miserable, pathetic life. How many people could not even imagine that - at all? If a person who has no specialized skills or isn't healthy enough to work extra or if a person who is already working 12-14 hours a day has a financial crisis where would they turn or what would they do?
  • There are so many snails in my aquarium one large one just cruised by with a baby snail riding on it's shell.
  • What is the sketchiest, most basic, most white trashiest thing I've done recently you ask? Well, while dropping some books off at the library drop box I realized 3 things: I needed to clarify custodial arrangements of my children with my ex wife. Number two: I had a tablet with me. Number three: The library has Wi Fi and finally I still do not own a cel phone. OK- that is four things you nitpicker but you get the idea.  So yeah, I sat in the truck while mooching some some sweet, free Wi Fi and sent an EMail.
  • If you were my real friend instead of my Internet friend I picture you shaking your head at me saying, That is pretty sketchy Kev.- pretty sketchy.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

I May Be OK

I am sitting by the pool listening to the fountain gurgle and splash. It is really- really cold out here. My coffee is almost ridculously strong (without being so). There is a red headed woodpecker singing in the tree above me. His head is fire engine red and his body a gorgeous gray. A girl is coming to get me later for burgers a movie and to toss a Frisbee around and feed the ducks in the park.

There is no place I would rather be.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

My Keurig Coffee Maker Tried To Kill Me (or at least put my eye out).

Luckily for me and my millions of readers I had turned away before it went off.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Monday, January 18, 2016

So, I'm Driving Home

from a hard day at work in the coal mine and as I look over from the middle lane I see a new Porsche Carrerra in the lane to my right. It is black, has custom wheels and is gorgeous.  I glance back and forth several times taking it all in and as I am shamelessly coveting it, a ridiculously pretty blonde lady behind the wheel of the Porsche glances over and smiling throws me a quick wave. Bashfully and feeling totally busted, I  awkwardly smile back and half heartedly wave and then I get back to driving and minding my own business.

A mile or two down the road as I am driving along obliviously- in my own little world my nose starts to itch. I rub it once making it worse. I rub it again and then again from side to side and then yes- a little on the inside corner but I am not picking my nose.  Incidentally, I become aware of something on my thumb which makes me think, Holy smokes- is it a booger? Looking at my thumb I see the series of long fine cuts as you see above and having no recall of cutting my self I glance down from the road and peel it open and inspect the cuts. The main one is quite deep but not painful and I roll the skin back with my index finger as I glance up and down from the road to my weird thumb injury curious as to how and when this could have happened.

I am not rolling a booger between my fingers.

Suddenly, I become aware of a car to my left and I glance over to see the blonde Porsche Carrerra hotness  lady staring at me with her mouth hanging open. It takes a second to process but I realize- she thinks she just totally busted me digging for green gold and then rolling it between my fingers and then inspecting it like a mental case. I start frantically shaking my head and saying No, Noooooo, I'm not picking my my nose! I was just... I was just...

 As plain as day she mouths, Thats so gross! and floors it and leaves me behind- forever.

And that is how I missed the opportunity to be kept by a rich lady lawyer and have beautiful babies together that I would be stay home dad for on our amazing yacht while she raked in millions from evil corporations- all because I couldn't keep my stupid fat fingers out of my stupid fat nose.

Do you have any stories involving lost loves and nose picking?

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Wednesday's Digressions

Get it?

  • As of this writing (today is 01/07/2016) there is a standoff in progress in Oregon where a bunch of white militia types have taken over the headquarters to a national wildlife refuge. If the militia guys were browner and more Muslimie-er that building would have been a smoking ruin long ago and to identify the perpetrators the authorities would be sifting through the aforementioned ruin and dental records .
  • If Bill Cosby were white he would have been under a jail long ago and penniless from civil lawsuits.
  • There is a video of a South Carolina police officer killing a person by shooting him in the back as he briskly fled on foot at a high rate of speed ambled half heartedly away from the officer. There isn't a chance the cop would have done that were the runner not black.
  • Were Mexico the consumer and America the producer of recreational drugs and this reversal caused the same problems of murder and instability for the US as our insatiable lust for drugs has caused Mexico we would have flattened parts of that country long ago and The US Army's First Cavalry Division, Fourth Infantry Division and a Marine Expeditionary Force would be occupation forces.
  • The preceding are what are called natural facts in that we can only disagree on the how and whys and what to do with the information, not the well- natural fact that they are true.
  • On a more positive note- I just ate a jalapeno cheeseburger and fries for breakfast and drank a Dr. Pepper. The rest of the day may be all downhill but it started out deliciously.
  • When I was young it was nearly impossible  to get a loan on a vehicle with 100,000+ miles as everybody including loan officers knew a vehicle with that many miles was done. With the present condition of my truck, the relatively good care it has received and relatively low amount of abuse I heap on it there is no reason to think it won't go 200,000+ miles with only a little more than normal maintenance costs.
  • They don't make 'em like they used to!
  • Thank God.
  • This morning while getting ready for the daily grind I finished watching The Amazing Spiderman 2. Verdict: very good- the best one yet.
  • When if Stan Lee dies what will they do for his cameos? Will it be CGI, stock footage or will they work a visit into a wax museum into the story and have a likeness of him there?
  • At work to supposedly make the workload more balanced they put out what is laughingly termed a Call Rotation to issue to the clerks to route calls to the nursing staff. It is a list of nurses names and extensions that starts with me and the same list was issued to every employee.
  • 1 million- the number of calls I now receive in a week.
  • The other nurses are lovin' it though (I hope).

Monday, January 11, 2016

Rest In Pieces Ady Gil

Monday's Missives

A garter snake found along with another at Holland Lake Park in Weatherford America
  • Long ago a nurse who helped train me in my first job got busted for falsifying blood sugar test results. Not only would doing the work correctly including the documentation take all of 3 minutes per patient- what the *!;^% were you thinking?! You could have killed somebody!
  • A postscript to that thought: She was allowed to resign on the spot and walk. Maybe 5 people know that story. Today, it would be international news. She would be jailed and afterwards would be lucky if she got to wait tables somewhere.
  • Connected thought: I sincerely hope ( and even think it very likely true) that she learned her lesson.

    I don't know what the point it is but it took some talent and imagination to make this giant sculpture for a fest on Magnolia in Funkytown America.
  • No matter where I go there are always nursing and allied staff who won't let any other nurse touch them for shots and skin tests but me.
    Occasionally, I still get cards trying to sell me services (or scam extended warranties) for the Beemer which I have not owned in some years.
  • This weekend I think I will take my children to a Japanese Hibachi steak house.
    Somebody has been talking to my ex wife. Well, some may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one...

    My daughter's last fund raising company really needs to let me do some proofing for them.
  • If I had to give a young person advice-one thing to hold on to it might be, Do not make your life harder than it has to be.
  • As a bonus I would say, Be very spare with giving advice. 
    I am a Minion: I have arrived.
  • This weekend (today is 12/21/2015) I watched both 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later. 28 Days is a great horror movie with nearly perfect music. At one point I owned the soundtrack. 28 Weeks is very good and the music adequate.
  • Great almost always comes out greta for me the first time.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Quotable Notable

"It's a sad day when a man changes his oil with a credit card instead of a wrench"

Over Or Under You Ask?

Don't be a savage.

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Starwatching Party 10/10/2015 An After Action Report

  • Saturn is probably my most favorite planet to view. We could see two moons and it's rings plain as day.
  • Zac won an astronomy book as a door prize. 
  • There was a group of black people there from some organization for kids and as is common to them they referred to adults as Miss ___________ or if a male, Mr. ___________. There was  a guy in the group named Ed and it delighted me to no end to hear them talk about or to him.
  • There were easily a hundred people there.
  • I want a telescope.
  • An old female acquaintance materialized behind me and came and gave me a hug and chatted. I had been wondering about her. She is still beautiful in spite of having a bad hip and a bit of a mom bod. Well,  make that a grandma bod. She is a few years younger than me and has 3 grandchildren and another on the way. Yikes.
  • Her new husband initially gave me the stink eye but he got over it and seemed glad to have met me when we parted ways.
  • David the park interpreter is a great guy whose enthusiasm is infectious.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Words Of Wisdom From el chupacabra #786

Ladies: if a guy talks incessantly about a woman at work and hardly mentions any others you should pay attention; he may be up to no good but most likely she is just a buddy and he freely talks about her because he has nothing to feel  guilty about.
Gentlemen: if the woman your in love of drones on about multiple people at work as you dutifully and patiently listen and then out of the blue you discover there is a dude she works with she has never mentioned be advised- said dude is drilling her brains out in the parking garage.
The preceding is literal gold that you can take to the bank.

Monday, January 4, 2016

There Is Sketchy And Then There Is

living in an abandoned pron store sketchy.

Friday, January 1, 2016