Thursday's Thoughts

Half eaten random onion somebody dropped near the gas pump.

• A random odd regret: I wish I had taken better care of my teeth. Having good dentition and great smile will improve the quality of your life in big, huge ways we are not even taught. So yeah- I would wish for better teef.
• I wish someone would have explained to me the import of good choppers when I was young and that I took said advice to heart.
• PS : Mine are not grody or anything- just not as good as they could have been.
•  Today at a nursing conference I met up with a former coworker. She introduced me to her new coworker as her ,... ex office husband. That was funny! I've talked about it here before but I had kind of forgotten about it.
• Over time it got to where we knew when each other would be hungry (and likes and dislikes) and would feed the other. We asked each others opinions constantly. We shared work loads. Coworkers even started accepting us speaking for the other when one of us were absent. It was the weirdest thing.
• There were multiple maniacs on the drive home this evening 3/20/2018. It is not a competition kids.
• Last night (today is March 24th 2018) I told Zac about my dad working in a slaughterhouse. The impetus was hearing Skip James Killing Floor Blues. My dad told me the first thing you did when you started working in the slaughterhouse was you worked on the killing floor doing the actual killing. So you're thinking well maybe it wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world but at least you just punch them in the head with that pneumatic bolt like in No Country for Old Men right? Uhmmm- no. A sledgehammer was used. The killer would bash the animal in the head with the sledgehammer. After some time and when a new employee would come in you would move down the line and up in ranks to where you were the actual one doing the disassembly and butchering of the animal. He talked about an old black man who was fine with just doing the killing- he never wanted to move up anywhere. It was the only time I ever heard my dad use the n-word. The gentleman was called N_ _ _ _ _ Ben.

Wednesday's Digressions

This package of cookies was given to me by an unAmerican patient. There are a lot of lessons on that little package. Is there any part of that little girl's face and general appearance that makes you want to eat cookies? To me she just looks like a pleasant but intentionally  generic person. I don't  know what she wants me to do when I see her on a cookie wrapper- but I dont want to eat cookies.What on Earth is she doing with her hands? What is a gluco? Also, am I making this up or isn't there a tie-in between the human mind and red and yellow colors and how we perceive a food stuffs?

• My new nemo air mattress is great. Overnight it stayed firm in 20 degree temperatures.
• Related thought: I simply could not have guessed there would ever come a time I would pay 150 buck for a camping air mattress. 
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• When I was kid I was aware of computers- as the giant megaliths that they were. They were giant and highly specialized and seemed to mostly be used for military purposes. The car we rented for Xmas vacation 2017 had its own hot spot and if that got dodgy- Zac would hit me up to turn on the wi fi to my phone.

  

  These dolls are supposed to represent my nursing buddy and her 2 lunch and clothing exchange buddies.

• A headline I read earlier was something to the effect of, "contamination found in most bottled- water study shows". I didn't read it but I didn't need to- that would have to be true.

  

  Motard  Marine.

• I just saw an article titled, The most right swiped man on Tinder tells you to how to make a good profile- or whatever. Intrigued, I checked the page to find out what kind of tricks that dating magician had in store. Nothing to see here folks- he is so insanely hot looking, he sort of had a glow or an aura about him. I literally would not be surprised to find he is not even a human but is some type of angelic being. As for his tips? They are the same ones you've seen a hundred times before and not only that- I would be shocked if the same ones are not on the Tinder app. itself.
• He (not you or me) would be drowning in the dating pool if he did the exact opposite of all those things.
• Good looking people almost always take it for granted how much easier their lives are because of those looks.
• Taking dating advice from somebody like that is exactly a lot like taking financial advice from a lottery winner.

  

  As smells have always been important to me and I grew up in the 1970s- I've always burned incense around the house. And odd thing that I've taken a note of is; of the ones that are supposed to have tape wrapped around them I've never seen any of them not have the tape wrapped around them- not once.

•  Drunk History is kinda hit and miss but this one is pretty good.

Monday's Missives

True breakfast of champions.

• My nursing buddy is beautiful but she uses filters on her pics to make her face look more slender and ostensibly more beautiful-er or whatever. For some reason I'm physically repulsed when she shows me her pictures.
• Why? There is something there I am not smart enough to discern but it is true- those manipulated pics physically revolt me slightly and I'll avert my gaze to something else in her pictures.
  

  

  A well intentioned person among us does not know how to spell.

  
  
• Someone in an another clinic who happens to be a friendly aquaintence was recently fired. He had no warning. One day he was there, then the next his office was empty and I heard all of his personal belongings were boxed up.
• My guess is he was either the victim of a petty vendetta or guilty as sin of some sort of heinous crime.

  

  A pic I did not take of my decrepit office chair back. Hours after I left the office that image was there until I opened the camera then it disappeared.

• Yesterday 03/21/2018 I went to lunch with a nursing buddy. She does not like olives so she offered me one out of her salad. It was a grape! I thought I was going to go into toxic shock or something. It was so weird- expecting an olive but it's a grape?!

  

  I presume there was a point to be made but I have no idea why I took this picture.

• I also have no idea what just happened to the FONT size up there.
• Humans by and large do not act like we want to survive as a species.
  
• When I was a kid we had a dog named Lil Lady. She once raised a litter of kittens after a litter of pups she had were stillbirthed. One or two kittens died but two or three lived. Her story would have gone viral but sadly- memes were still decades away. As a bonus we also had an ancient Siamese cat named Dean who got in on the act and would groom the kittens.
• Lady died under the old house birthing a later litter. I can see my mom crying over the death and telling me that I would have to be the one to go under there and drag her out as plainly as I can see this phone.
• It was also up to me to bury her. After doing the best I could- the grave was still too shallow and neighborhood dogs dug her up and ate the body while scattering everything they did not consume all over the back yard.
  

  

  You're either a middle-aged dude or a 10 year old boy when you go out for a walk and find a bunch of softball shags and it's like winning the lottery.

• It is 0420 AM and a bacon cheeseburger with fries and a Dr. Pepper sounds awesome and amazing
• The previous point was not a weed joke.
  
• Old joke from my kidhood days: I don't remember how it was set up but you put 2 or 3 cigarette filters with the paper pulled off in a person's closed fist and then pour nail polish remover in there. You tell the punchline and have them open their hand. The filters will have turned into something resembling ejaculate.
• Yeah we played with real cigarette components and volatile solvents.
• And yeah- we thought ejaculate jokes were funny when I was a 10 or maybe 12 year old boy.

Zacism

I'm never doing that again. I'm not risking my life like that! I'm too young to die!  What he said after crossing a busy street with me (10/11/2015). 

Thursday's Thoughts

• The workers at my breakfast place often step out of the kitchen wearing sweatshirts and other warm clothing. I presume they keep the kitchen cooler than other restaraunts as the owners still work back there.
• There is a guy I see sometimes walking around Weatherford. He is super tall and impossibly skinny. He is always staring at a point on the ground about 6 feet in front of him as he walks.
• There is something about him. He just emanates-a warning sign: Stay Away! Danger!
• My kids grandfather was both a NFR competitor and judge.
• It is weird the way Army-speak and Army-think follow you around. Recently I referred to a valley I hiked as a bowling alley [the unofficial/official military term for vehicularly passable valleys]. I caught what I did at the time and explained it- but it was a little weird.
• Vehicularly is a word?! That just doesn't look right but I blurted it out and my spell-check didn't seem impressed or offended.
• No one could make fried chicken livers like my mom. I mean holy smokes- they were amazing.
• I have never owned a red car.
• My present pick up is one of the best vehicles I have ever owned- I drive it hard and long and do nothing to maintain it. It just goes and goes 
• If the universe has taught me nothing else it is that I just jinxed myself and might as well get ready to be stranded by that dumb thing somewhere.

Monday's Missives

Best dog ever.

• Recently somebody that I could have been interested in flirted me up a little bit. While I did not exactly go in for the kill- the intrigue did cause me to lean in and act more interested. Predictably, she was selling snake oil on the side and was only trying to separate me from my money.
• Chick, why didn't you just say, Hey, I have this GREAT product I'm selling to support my family that could really help you?!
• It would have probably gone in the trash (years from now when I got tired of looking at it in the pantry) but I would have given you money because you are selling something to support your family and I would hope people would do the same for me were I in your position.
• The daughter of my neighbor is a spastic handful. I love him for the way he deals with her.
• Patience- the only thing in this universe that the more we use- the more we have.
• In the time during and following World War II my dad had several girlfriends whom he took pictures of- or with in France, Germany, Belgium or England. These pics were kept in the family album along with my baby pictures and all the other milestones. Some of the women were kinda plain and some strikingly beautiful. The weird thing? I thought we were sort of related to each of them and even as a kid I had an odd affection for them and would innocently ask where they were at that time and why we hadn't we met them and could we go see them and so on.
• Maybe weirder- I still feel more or less the same way in a nostalgic sense and if any are still alive I hope the best for them as their lives wind down.
• I kept hearing about a song that Ed Sheeran did that is used for weddings. Predictable, simplistic and derivative were the first words that came to mind when I finally heard it. Really, it is baaaaaaaad but we're living in a time when we simply don't know any better or even if we do- we're not supposed to say anything.
• It is one thing if you reach out to people when you're feeling bad and down and they don't respond to you when you feel like the world doesn't care or whatever but recently I said, "Hello" to somebody by text and they replied back causing me to then say to myself, Why even bother to reply...?
• For real- I never said anything back at all when she replied. 
• It is 1237 on 03/16/2018 as I write this and it is maybe as perfect a day weather-wise as I have ever seen. It is sunny and slightly breezy with this very subtle, intermittent coolness. It is perfect.
• Family on my childrens flesh-mother side used the non-word, retched  for the past tense of reach...
• Should have been a warning. 

So I am walking along in the woods near Sunshine Lake this morning and I see what at first glance I thought to be a phone book. This makes me think the downed tree limb was somebody's dookie station and they wiped with pages from the phone book. As soon as I thought that, I thought, Uh, wait, what!? They had a PHONE BOOK and nooooo McDonald's napkins or junk mail etc? That doesn't make sense. Its 2018 not 1918... and anyway- phone book? Where did that thought even come from? Whose response to anything is- phone book?!

Oh.

Thursday's Thoughts

• A friendly acquaintance had been married about a year when I bumped into her and her husband in public and we chatted and generally caught up  with each other. I had only met him once previously and barely exchanged pleasantries back then. First thought as we parted ways when we met up again and we actually spent some time with each other? Is she... cool with his- homosexuality? She has to know- right? I mean- does she know?!
• Prior to their marriage she actually engaged in conversation with me regarding him and the fact she had not had sex in a long time so I know sexuality was a part of the relationship equation for her.
• What do the preceding thoughts mean? Nothing- they are simply observations.
• Maybe a take away is- humans are weird and complicated.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• There have in recent history been a few different actors mostly or at least largely known for their distinctively warm and deep sounding voices who have died of throat or lung cancer secondary to cigarette smoking.
• I wish I had bought the 24K gold version of my phone.
• It is about $%^# time we got tough on crime!

Wednesday's Digressions

Ha ha. Funny- not funny. Whatever. Listen fortune cookie. I'll lie to my friends and you lie to yours- lets not lie to each other. OK?

• And yeah- whatever universe. Is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back- picking on poor ole Kevin Dirt!?
• We are crazy if we commit to doing away with the use of landmines in our warfighting.
• Few things are more more disruptive to the enemy for there cost and labor than the lowly, dumb landmine.

  

  Remind me to tell you how to catch armadillos sometime.

• I don't do well going long periods without sex. 
• Honestly- I get headaches and backaches and act irritable.

  

  The cursed diamond- 4 marriages and counting. After its last divorce I had it mounted in white gold as an ear stud. I wear it when I am walking around as an incognito wide receiver - or aged/beloved Hollywood actor or somethin'. While he hasn't taken possession-my eldest son has claimed ownership.

• We had a great time camping in Chickasaw Recreation Area. The kiosk where you pay by credit card- in the middle of the woods was a trip though.
• The weather was miserable- 97 degrees and 78% humidity.
• Stupefying.
• The mosquitoes were in full effect.
• Abualitas in Sulfur is pretty good but oddly different from the Mexican places I eat at just 2 hours south. Everything reads the same on the menu but is subtly different when it gets to the table.
• The taxidermised bison in the nature center at CRA lived at the recreation area and died of old age. He was in his 20s. Bass Pro Shop handled the mounting.

  

  This is I think- the 5th geocaching site I have found- and I don't geocache.

• I love the way a friendly acquaintance from Colombia says year and you as jeer and jew.
• When I teased her gently about it she said, Oi Keveen. OK you makeeng fon ahv-ah me? OK I shange. No more jeer or jew I will say... ye...ar and y....e, yewww.... oh well- jew know what I mean! You want me to shange?!
• I laughed until I hyperventilated causing her to start ad libbing and lay it on even more thickly. Because I canna shange. Jew know- no? And I wheel if jew want it me too! Eyeee shaaaange Keh-veen! Keh-veen- jew wont it me to shaaaaange?!
• Don't change a thing you crazy Colombian hot mess. Dont change a thing.

Thursday's Thoughts

My telephone heard an ad for a hair replacement product on my drive home from work. Illuminati confirmed.

• One of my friends is in a club organized by a group of ladies that she works with. They call themselves The Friday Night Book Club. They get together every other Thursday night to eat bad food and get drunk. Books play no role in the club whatsoever.
• That is hilarious to me for some reason.
• Yesterday 11/30/2017 I had something in my eye which was about to be the end of me- as I knew myself. About 5 probings by myself in front a mirror and a visualization by a nursing buddy showed nothing. I tried eye drops-  to no avail. When I got home I looked again to see what causing the issue. This time I saw the problem- a $#@!% eye lash was jammed into the tear duct of my left eye. I could barely see the end of it and had to pull it with a tweezer.
• I have never even heard of that happening.
• You cannot believe the things- good and bad which happen to me that other people cannot imagine.
• Tweezer is a comical word.
• I love horchata and always have- although I drink it maybe only every 2-3 years. It has to be fresh and light on the cinnamon  (which still must be high quality) but yeah- I love the stuff.
• This morning a new Dodge Charger made an illegal lane change without signalling while obviously speeding and came fairly close to rear ending me.
• Welcome to my retirement plan homie.

Quotable Notable

Plus ca change .... plus c'est le meme chose. The more things change .... the more that they stay the same.

Zac The Hippie