Monday's Missives

True breakfast of champions.

• My nursing buddy is beautiful but she uses filters on her pics to make her face look more slender and ostensibly more beautiful-er or whatever. For some reason I'm physically repulsed when she shows me her pictures.
• Why? There is something there I am not smart enough to discern but it is true- those manipulated pics physically revolt me slightly and I'll avert my gaze to something else in her pictures.
  

  

  A well intentioned person among us does not know how to spell.

  
  
• Someone in an another clinic who happens to be a friendly aquaintence was recently fired. He had no warning. One day he was there, then the next his office was empty and I heard all of his personal belongings were boxed up.
• My guess is he was either the victim of a petty vendetta or guilty as sin of some sort of heinous crime.

  

  A pic I did not take of my decrepit office chair back. Hours after I left the office that image was there until I opened the camera then it disappeared.

• Yesterday 03/21/2018 I went to lunch with a nursing buddy. She does not like olives so she offered me one out of her salad. It was a grape! I thought I was going to go into toxic shock or something. It was so weird- expecting an olive but it's a grape?!

  

  I presume there was a point to be made but I have no idea why I took this picture.

• I also have no idea what just happened to the FONT size up there.
• Humans by and large do not act like we want to survive as a species.
  
• When I was a kid we had a dog named Lil Lady. She once raised a litter of kittens after a litter of pups she had were stillbirthed. One or two kittens died but two or three lived. Her story would have gone viral but sadly- memes were still decades away. As a bonus we also had an ancient Siamese cat named Dean who got in on the act and would groom the kittens.
• Lady died under the old house birthing a later litter. I can see my mom crying over the death and telling me that I would have to be the one to go under there and drag her out as plainly as I can see this phone.
• It was also up to me to bury her. After doing the best I could- the grave was still too shallow and neighborhood dogs dug her up and ate the body while scattering everything they did not consume all over the back yard.
  

  

  You're either a middle-aged dude or a 10 year old boy when you go out for a walk and find a bunch of softball shags and it's like winning the lottery.

• It is 0420 AM and a bacon cheeseburger with fries and a Dr. Pepper sounds awesome and amazing
• The previous point was not a weed joke.
  
• Old joke from my kidhood days: I don't remember how it was set up but you put 2 or 3 cigarette filters with the paper pulled off in a person's closed fist and then pour nail polish remover in there. You tell the punchline and have them open their hand. The filters will have turned into something resembling ejaculate.
• Yeah we played with real cigarette components and volatile solvents.
• And yeah- we thought ejaculate jokes were funny when I was a 10 or maybe 12 year old boy.