Saturday, March 31, 2012

A Second Hand War Story

During the Gulf War an old Army buddy was tasked with leading a scout platoon to an abandoned village to secure it for a team of Air Force combat controllers and then maintain the position while the controllers called air strikes on Iraqi units counterattacking in the area. Even though he was pretty sharp, he was sick at the idea since he'd only had desk and training duties in the years prior. Regardless, he loaded up and moved out in the dark across featurless terrain. Knowing they might have to rout the enemy out of the village if the Iraqis were there first he played out all the combat drills in his mind and tried to ready his soldiers over the intercom. When they finally got there near dawn they saw movement and then saw there were well hidden vehicles tucked behind the buildings. They dismounted scouts from the Bradley into a wadi (gulley) for cover and concealment to work their way in.

At the edge of the village they saw figures assumed to be the enemy unloading a vehicle. What were they unloading- ammo, land mines?

Moving closer they heard somebody say, Hey, the Army's here!

The Air Force guys had arrived at the village first and were unloading cases of Cokes and food. It was the first Coke my buddy had in weeks and his first hot food in days. They spent the day cooking out and calling air strikes on Iraqi Army units.

He always ended that story with, Those Air Force guys sure know how to fight a war...

Friday, March 30, 2012

A Friday Afternoon Pick-Me Up - Or You Are Now In The Weird Part Of

the Internet. Yes, that is a nude painting of Hilary Clinton holding an iguana. You're welcome.

He Said She Said

The following is a true and correct transcript of conversations between me and my ex during our recent commuting adventure.

She: What's a good song from a girls point of view about breaking up and heartbreak etc.?

Me: After being tempted to say, Well essentially, all songs by females are about that and how all men are The Debil, I instead said, Well- you can try ______ or _______ and you know, there's that new one by Adele Somebody Like You or something like that, I only heard it once the other day, but I think that's what it's about- look it up on the yoochoobs.

A few days later...

Me: Did you look up that Adele song?

She: Didn't have to, I went to a concert and a girl performed it on an acoustic guitar between bands.

Me: Whoa, I bet that was pretty. What did you think?

She: I didn't finish it.

Me: Didn't finish?

She: No

Me: What do you mean?

She: I had to leave. I started crying.

Me: Hee-hee.

She: Shut up.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Southern Fried Expressions

* It's so dry the trees are whistling for the dogs.

* Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor.

* If things get any better around here, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.

* Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!

* Cute as a box full of puppies.

* You can't get rid of 'em. He's like a booger you can't thump off

.* It's about as hard as trying to steer a herd of cats.

* The wheels still turning, but the hamster's dead.

* She was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

* There are a lot of nooses in his family tree.

* So crooked you can't tell from his tracks if he's coming or going.

* I wouldn't trust him any farther than I can throw him.

* He's got more guts than you could hang on a fence.

* So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.

* So dry I'm spitting cotton.

* Hot as a two-dollar whore on the 4th of July.

* So hot the hens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Cold as a frosted frog

* Cold as an ex-wife's heart

* Cold as a cast iron commode

* Cold as a banker's heart

* I won't say it's far, but I had to grease the wagon twice before I hit the main road.

* Busy as a funeral home fan in July.

* If a trip around the world cost a dollar, I couldn't get to the state line.

* We were so poor I had a tumbleweed as a pet.

* He looks like he was inside the outhouse when lightening struck.

* She looks like she was born down wind from the outhouse.

* Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.

* Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.

* Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

* The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

* Scared as a sinner in a cyclone.

* Scared as a cat at the dog pound.

* Pregnant before marriage: They ate supper before they said grace.

* She's so ugly she'd make a freight train take a dirt road.

* He's so ugly his cooties have to close their eyes.

* So ugly his mama takes him everywhere she goes so she doesn't have to kiss him goodbye.

* She looks like she fell face-down in the sticker patch and cows ran over her.

* He looks like the dogs have been keepin' him under the porch.

* He's about as sharp as a mashed potato.

* So dusty the rabbits are digging holes six feet in the air.

* It'll last about as long as a fart in a whirlwind.

* He's rough as a corn cob.* He's got enough money to burn a wet mule.

* He's about as sharp as a bag full of wet mice.

* It's as dry as the dust in a mummy's pocket.

* It's about as scarce as bird crap in a cuckoo clock.

* He's as tight as the pages in a book.

* Tight like a too-small bathing suit on a too-long ride home from the beach.

* This race is as tight as the rusted lug nuts on a '55 Ford.

* Hotter than a Laredo parking lot in the summertime.

* It’s hot enough to peel house paint.

* Running like a squirrel in a cage.

* Safe as a tick on a dog with a stiff neck.

* Dumb as a bag full of hammers.

* She's just naturally horizontal.

* Meaner than a skilletful of rattlesnakes.

* He couldn't find his ass with a flashlight in each hand.

* He couldn't pour rain out of a boot with a hole in the toe and directions on the heel.

* If dumb was dirt, he'd cover about half an acre

* So windy we're using a log chain instead of a wind sock.

* It's so foggy, the birds are walkin'

* Tighter than bark on a tree

* As welcome as an outhouse breeze.

* Her hair looks like a cats been suckin' on it.

* We were so poor my brother and me had to ride double on our stick horse.

* As bad-off as a rubber-nosed woodpecker in a petrified forest.

* As confused as a cow on astroturf.

* It was so hot you could pull a baked potato right out of the ground.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Wednesday's Digressions

Is there anything more awesome than a possum on a snowboard?

  • Went to the Jazz Ensemble performance at Weatherford College last night. Normally a little jazz goes a long way for me- I even sat so I could escape unobtrusively. I needn't have bothered. It was nearly mesmerising- it was that good. Jess Meador (I hope that's right) from Decatur stole the show playing fiddle. I know- jazz fiddle?!

  • I thought that theater would seat 400 people. The occupancy sign says 174.

  • The organization I work for is switching over to electronic medical record. It may be the end for some of us.

  • Nissin Noodles Beef teriyaki flavor with Tapatillo sauce is very good.

  • This morning a patient who is coming off heroin was shivering in the not too cold at all waiting room. As I walked by she asked, Sir, I'm freezing- do you have a blanket I can borrow? I went and looked since we keep some for patients in isolation, but evidently someone carried them home to wash. I was sorry I couldn't help her with something so simple.

  • Recently to the question of, "Have you ever traded sex for money or drugs?" a patient had to say, Yes.

  • So sad.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


      • This morning I saw a crayfish for the first time in a long time in Town Creek. It was a huge, fat red one.

      • Sunday (3252012) I sat on the porch of the double log cabin where George McCleskey was killed by Indians in 1873 and read 2 or 3 chapters from, A Cry Unheard- The Story Of IndianAttacks In and Around Parker County 1858 to 1872. It was one of the cooler things I've done in a while.

      • My buddy won't answer the door for me when I know he's there. I'm sure his dumb girlfriend is with him. He's going to get girl cooties for sure.

      • She went exploring with us and our kids one day. She found an arrow head (actually a small spear point). I've spent hundreds of hours there exploring, have looked for arrow heads all my life and have never found one.

      • Another day he with his children and me and Zac went for a hike. We took turns peeing on a fire ant mound.

      • What were we supposed to do?

      • At Sunshine Lake yesterday I walked along the concrete facing to the dam to keep my boots dry. This allowed me to quietly walk right right up on three sleeping ducks. They all had their bills over backs buried under a wing. One was standing on one leg. I guess he was the lookout, if so he was doing a terrible job. I was literally two feet away when he finally opened one eye and seemed to be focusing on me trying to decide if I was real or part of a weird dream caused by eating a bad batch of bugs or whatever.

      • I saw the largest red eared slider I've ever seen- really it had to be a record. Predictably I didn't have my camera.

      • People who ostensibly love the outdoors and throw their trash on the ground must literally be mentally ill.

      • Thank you for tuning into The Great Outdoors With Kev.

      • Ringo Deathstarr Summer Time

      Monday, March 26, 2012

      Monday's Missives

        Jim Hippo Vaughn- a native son of Weatherford Texas

      • Zachary has at least ten nick names which are permutations of his name or perceived attributes of his personality. Although I try not to make a thing of it, I really don't like when someone uses one of them too soon for their position in our life.

      • When I was a young man I worked a summer at Twin Points Resort. It was one of the best times of my life. One of the stand out things I remember was the owner telling me when he signed the lease many years before he was at one point offered to be allowed to buy the property (30+ acres lake front on Eagle Mountain Lake) outright. As I recall, they quoted 100,000 dollars to him. He thought at the time it was too much. Yeah, he pretty much will die wishing for a do-over.

      • The time 11:11 keeps having recurring significance in my life.

      • A very simple thing I've always wanted to do, but oddly have not, is eat Lebanese food.

      • Something weird about me: if my back is bothering me unusually bad I cannot stand being in clothes and will at the very least strip down to my underwear.

      • Don't worry- only when I'm home.

      • Counting Crows- Big Yellow Taxi.

      • It's nap time. Thank you God for putting a 4 year old in my house.

      Friday, March 23, 2012

      Oh, Look-

      here's a picture of Net Gingrich feeding an Etch A Sketch to an alligator.

      Friday's Dispatch

      Those women drivers- amiright?

      • This morning I noticed a clock in the check in room of the clinic was still set at pre daylight savings time so I took it off the wall and reset it. About the time it was set I realised I needed to go get my food out of the microwave in the break room so I did what anybody would and took off down the hall- still caring the clock. I imagined someone asking, Is that guy OK? Yeah, he's harmless, we let him clean up around the clinic and deliver messages and stuff like that- he just likes clocks...

      • A former patient was always super grumpy- one of those guys who would gripe if you hung him with a new rope. We called him Mr. Sunshine.

      • 3/21/2012 I took Zac to Holland Lake after school and before dinner for a walk. We saw a beaver swimming around. What is that? he said It's a beaver. Oh, is it a Justin Beaver?

      • Few people I think know the exact moment they disown their offspring.

      Thursday, March 22, 2012

      On This Day In History 1820

      Stephen Decatur died of a gunshot wound to the gut after a duel.
      Painting is of him boarding a Tripolitan gunboat while fighting Barbary pirates.

      Craigslist Goodness

      Bicycle with as advertised "special" paint job.

      To say the least

      Wednesday, March 21, 2012

      Wednesday's Digressions

      • Last night Zac and I saw Richard Shuster play some Gabriel Faure' compositions on the piano. Interestingly several of the cast from The Tempest which we saw a few weeks ago in the same theater sat directly behind us.

      • Overheard in the library spoken by the guy whose neck was covered in racist tattoos: Do ya'll have the Hobbit on audio book?

      • Recently I yawned in front of a patient. She said, Oh, you're tired aren't you? Yes a little bit. You didn't sleep well? No, I never do. Well maybe you should come home with me. I'd watch over you and let you sleep.

      • Thanks crazy lady.

      • Recently no one could put the name to the face of a patient for whom I was asking for some information- until I said, You know- he looks like a homeless Santa Claus.

      • Arlington Texas' own Cas Haley on America's Got Talent! Walking On The Moon

      Tuesday, March 20, 2012


      Robert Deniro is standing beside some dude in an elevator whose head and arm are trapped in the door between floors.

      The setting for my weirdest dream ever contender from last night.

      You know what I like? says Deniro. No- what?! says the guy as the door starts coming down a little more. Masturbating- a nice slow masturbating session is always good for what ails you. What!? Choking the chicken, flogging the dolphin... I know what masturbation is, how is that going to help me? Says dude as the door chokes him a bit more. Here, let me show you Deniro says while reaching for dudes privates. Dude pulls himself away and says, I don't need you to show me how! Well, get after it then.

      When Dude finishes it relaxes him enough he slides back into the elevator as the door slams shut. Deniro pushes a down button. The doors open and there are zombies in gas masks armed with M16s which they're pointing straight up. They all start firing their weapons into the air. The light from the muzzle flashes reveals there are hundreds of the zombies. Deniro pushes the first floor button. As the door opens at the floor they fist bump and the dream fades to black.

      The End

      Monday, March 19, 2012

      Monday's Missives

      • A patient came in this morning and asked me about the diagnosis and treatment of syphillis. Afterward he asked me to not tell his wife (who is also a patient). There are daily quandaries in being a public health nurse.

      • I never accept a bet- in any context no mater how minor. Gambling is a disease that starts small and ruins everybody it touches, but while arguing with a nursing buddy over something this morning I impulsively said, Yes to her taunt of, wanna bet? and then said, Breakfast, when she asked what the bet was.

      • At least now I can sleep in a little Monday and have breakfast brought to me in my office.

      • Of course I won't press my luck and rattle the ice in my glass while clearing my throat so she can hear me in her office when I need a refill of my drink.

      • There's been an uproar over a Marine scout sniper team using the German SS Runes symbol on a flag as their guidon in Afghanistan. The official position is now they used it in ignorance of it's origins and simply liked the font, intending it to represent Scout Sniper. Impossible, but yeah- OK, whatever.

      • I can barely breathe

      Saturday, March 17, 2012


      • Neil Young Down By The River After listening for a few minutes I started to change to something else. Zac said."Hey, put it back!"

      • There's hope for this world after all.

      • During the Richard Shuster piano recital Zac and I went to at one point Dr Shuster was going to make some triumphant, crescendo (or whatever it's called) and then have intermission. Right before he did so he stopped and shielding his eyes from the lights he looked right at Zac and putting his index finger to his lips he very softly said, Shush. Zac said, What did he shush me for I didn't say a thing! I didn't do nothing! Everybody cracked up.

      Friday, March 16, 2012

      Friday's Dispatch

        Those First World problems...

      • At the grocery store this evening I stepped aside for a woman who had only a couple of items while I had a basket full. Oh no, you go ahead she said. Oh, come on- I have probably 30 items- you have two. Please go. No, no- go ahead. OK I said, but I'm going to move really, really slow and take my time, you'll regret not passing me... while slowing my speech down and grabbing the first two items out of my cart in ultra slow motion. Are you a nurse? she asked. Yes I am. Thank you for you service to our community and our world. Thank you for saying that, it means a lot. What do you do? I asked. I work the desk at __________ agency. I mostly look good in skirts and heels and sound bubbly on the phone although today I'm not looking so hot. I've been lying around- sick.

      • A funny little moment in time.

      • I still like everything at Texas Style Chicken on Rosedale. I split a catfish dinner with my nursing buddy for lunch and we both had all we could stand.

      • Don't tell her, but I also got an 6 piece order of 'peno poppers and ate them all myself.

      • I oddly associate skin tags with grossness. When I found one on my neck did I wait until I saw my doc for something and have him burn it off? Did I dig a lance out of my first aid kit and cut it off my self safely and cleanly? No, I pinched it between my fingernails and ripped it off- simply could not stand the thought of it being on me a minute longer.

      • Polite War

      Thursday, March 15, 2012

      Thursday's Thoughts

      • Cowboys V Giants as only Taiwanese animators can bring you.

      • "In a war everybody always knows all about Switzerland. In peace times it is just Switzerland, but in war time it is the only country everybody has confidence in, everybody." Gertrude Stein

      • The new rib eye, mushroom and onion sammich from Schlotshcki's is OK.

      • There's nothing better than clean, warm sheets.

      • I trashed my gel sole inserts today thinking I'd buy a new pair during a trip to the store I did not make. I predict a long day at work tomorrow.

      • Zac still loves helping with the laundry. I still love that about him.

      • The act of urinating on the Taliban fighters corpses by Marines in Afghanistan was not only misguided as their defenders have proposed- it was illegal.

      Wednesday, March 14, 2012

      Wednesday's Digressions

      • If I was dying, one last thing I'd do before I punched out: go duck hunting with the guys I used to hunt with years ago.

      • Oh, and I'd use it as an excuse to get Larry Teh Cable Guy to go with us.

      • My friend-girl rubs her boobies on me every chance she gets and I don't know what to make of it. We already know there's not going to be anything between us so yeah- I don't know what to make of it. She will say, Oh here, let me reach for this thing, that I don't really need that's up and over behind your head and while I'm here, let me move this other thing waaaay up there and this thing waaay down there. No, she doesn't literally say that while rubbing her boobs on my arm or across my face, but she might as well. It's intentional. No one is that oblivious. Is she trying to tempt me, lead me on, have some harmless fun?

      • Wimmin.

      • They're a mystery, inside an enigma, wrapped in a riddle.

      • Sorry Winston.

      • I went out to the lake this morning to take advantage of the overcast and take some pics. While there as I was on my way out, some punks discharged a firearm 4 times from the pavillion into the water. I ran up toward the sound of the gunfire, but they split too quick in their white Honda Civic. Being unarmed and without a cel phone I thought better of chasing them and walked the last bit to my car and listened to Neil Sperry on NPR.

      • That's how you can guess you're getting old.

      • They were also driving way too fast and good for me as they tore away from the area- that's how you know you're getting old.

      Monday, March 12, 2012

      Monday's Missives

        Why yes, the neighbors cat nearly decapitated Zac and yes- it now sleeps with the fishes, why do you ask?

      • There was a surprising number of people at the park having picnics and fishing during the dust storm that came through today (1 22 12). I've told people you can't let the weather dictate too much what you do for outdoor activities in Texas- or you'd never get anything done waiting for that perfect day, but man- there were white caps on the lake and dirt and leaves were blowing everywhere.

      • I distrust square plates, clear coffee cups and gold flatware.

      • Recently two patients came in together wearing the most ridiculous looking pairs of matching shoes I've ever seen. They looked like black moon boots with bright white soles, pink and blue accents and neon green straps that wrapped around the ankles. It caught me off guard and I just nearly burst out laughing.

      • I never fail to misspell guard.

      • I get all...numb When she sings it's over Such a strange numb And it brings my knees to the earth And God bless you all For the song you saved us... I won't draw a line in the sand and say if Minerva isn't your favorite Deftones song you can't be my special friend anymore, but you should consider making it yours- so you'll be a better person.

      Sunday, March 11, 2012


      • If you offer a drink to someone from a very primitive culture I see in my clinic frequently they'll take the can and drink the contents without ever letting their lips touch the can. I assume it may be because they're so used to drinking from a communal cup, but I'm not sure.

      • It's nothing these days for an SNL host to be somebody I've heard of, but have know idea who they are, however recently, at least twice there have been hosts whom I have no idea who or why they are and no idea what they do. Also, a recent musical guest was so terrible I thought her performance was a goof- part of a skit.

      • Zac wasn't here today (252012) to help with the laundry. The thought of doing it without his help was such a bummer I was tempted to wear dirty scrubs to work tomorrow and call it good, but they're washing now.

      • I tried to work hospice some Friday and Saturdays after my regular work hours, but it never worked out- a nurse was almost always needed for more than 2 nights and when I was offered something for those 1 or 2 nights I'd inevitably have Zac. For now those days are over I guess.

      • I miss it.

      • One of my favorite movies- Little Big Man

      • Wazzzzzzuuuuuuup!

      Saturday, March 10, 2012

      Saturday's Situation

      • The other day I set my nearly completely consumed bowl of oatmeal in my office sink with a little water so it wouldn't fossilize. A little while later I walked down the hall to the break room to wash it out so I wouldn't violate my policy of No Foodstuffs Down My Office Sink Drain. A clerk looked down at the bowl as I walked by and ask, What is that? Uh, it's leftover oatmeal- I'm going to wash it out in the break room. Oh, I thought maybe you got sick in there. Yeah, 'cause you know me- always vomiting in bowls and carrying it around my workplace...

      • I'm wacky that way.

      • It had to happen since the world is such a small place, but recently a patient was admitted to our clinic whose grandfather I cared for in hospice when he died. It was a good death and I was suited for the family and they responded well to me. The funny thing that stands out that I remember? One nurse refused to go there when she heard the address and another lied when she figured out where it was on the way and called off- saying her car broke down on the way and got herself replaced. The family even asked me if I was afraid to be there.

      • I like that things like this can still happen in this crazy, mixed up world we live in.

      Friday, March 9, 2012

      Friday's Dispatch

      Adding insult to injury- this pooch has that market cornered.

      • I took off early yesterday since I worked late the night before and then I predictably crashed as soon as I got home, so now I'm wide awake at 430 in the morning.

      • Tuna and large glass of orange juice- it's what was just for breakfast.

      • After talking to a girl at work about the music I like she told me to put some of it on CD so she could give it a try.

      • Remember mix tapes?

      • A weird feeling: recently I spoke to somebody that all things being equal and in another time and place I could have been attracted to. She seemed OK enough and was nice and funny. The only things I did notice was she is very underemployed for her age and she was for lack of a better term, quirky. Another day I saw her wearing a Dora The Explorer backpack and thought, Well, she is quirky... It hit me later- she's highly functioning, but probably mentally retarded.

      Thursday, March 8, 2012

      Thursday's Thoughts

      • I like this: "Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad."

      • Secret to good coffee- always put a bit more grounds than recommended, use cold water (I don't know why this makes a difference, but it does) and use 2 filters.

      • Recently someone took offense that I do not like Vietnamese food after asking me if I liked it. I do not understand that.

      • When I was a boy my brother had old detective shows, mysteries and sci fi radio programs on 33 1/3 LPs and would start a stack of them on the record player in our room for me before he went out at night and I would fall asleep to them. Simple times- very good memories.

      • Nasty sounding headline: "Aguilara explains leg drip".

      Information Superhighway Circa 1950

      "June 6, 1950. Pembroke, Ontario. "Vis-O-Matic department store." A variation on mail-order shopping, the Vis-O-Matic system used color slides to display merchandise to potential customers, with orders placed by Teletype and delivered to your door.

      Two of at least 200 photographs taken by Bernard Hoffman at retail magnate Laurence Freiman's newfangled catalog store in Pembroke, Ontario. The cards were an index of merchandise on color slides viewed by customers on rear-projection screens.

      "Vis-O-Matic department store." A Vis-O-Matic spokesmodel, or perhaps even the queen of Vis-O-Matic, the Canadian catalog store whose slide-projection system of displaying merchandise was like a Buck Rogers premonition of online shopping. The Vis-O-Matic phenomenon seems to have been short-lived, with hardly any documentation online aside from these photos in the Life archive, and no word of its fate. Photo by Bernard Hoffman Life Magazine Image Library"

      Text adapted from

      Wednesday, March 7, 2012

      Wednesday's Digressions

      • Somebody I know has a thing for short guys with big, weird looking heads. Really, she's married one like that and has had multiple boyfriends fitting that description. I'm not sure what's going on there, but it's true.

      • I'm tempted to drive to Stephenville for a pork chop at Hard Eight BBQ.

      • Zac is napping.

      • If Santorum is the Republican nom. for President you better get your mind wrapped around four more years of President Obama. Maybe, you're cool with that- and that's OK, but it's a natural fact it will happen.

      • Most of law enforcement efforts to curb the illegal drug trade only make the drugs exponentially more expensive, guaranteeing new property and violent crime to get the money for people to obtain the drugs.

      • I push my fingers into my eyes it's the only thing that stops the ache, but it's made of the things I have to take.

      Tuesday, March 6, 2012

      Tuesday's Thoughts

      • I get asked for everything from legal, to tax advice to opinions on where to live by my patients: lots of thin ice.

      • This morning as a patient walked in she saw me at the front desk. Omigosh, I'm so glad to see you Kevin. I need your help.

      • When I came back up front after helping her, the girls did not prance around with one hand on a hip the other to the side of their head saying, Woooo, Kevin I need you...

      • You know they totally did.

      • While not a rock (or even an oak) more people depend on me in this world than I can others for emotional support and those same people know that about my relationship to the other people in our lives. This makes it hard when I get down in the dumps- people don't know what to do for me and half overreact trying to help and the rest back away from me.

      • Two things that should jump out at us about the alledged Quran burning in Afghanistan: First of all- we've been there 10 years and we haven't figure out something like that will get people killed? Secondly, Afghanistan has one of the highest illiteracy rates in the world- how many of the rioters/protesters could actually read the book?

      Monday, March 5, 2012

      Mondays Missives

      • File this one under good grief: I can block every single one of those stupid viagra ad emails and they keep coming like a flood after a New Orleans levee break but, my bank account statements go straight to the spam bin after allowing it as an exception.

      • People think it's a shame that New Orleans isn't completely rebuilt and blame it on everything from prejudice to simple incompetence. It was ridiculous to allow that city to grow to anything larger than a support system for the port in the first place.

      • It sinks at the rate of 3 inches per year.

      • Politicians, writers and engineers were calling for its abandonment in the late 1800s.

      • My memories of New Orleans: discarded crack pipes and vials 3 inches deep on street corners, constant gunfire, unemployed people staggering around everywhere, dirty, stinky, decay.

      • It will wash or blow away again no matter what man does.

      • If a person has a strong work ethic I think it will cover a lot of sins and help them do better in life regardless of their perceived personal limitations.

      • Until my late 30s I only missed 4 days of work.

      • I've never worked in food service at any point in my life except as a dishwasher when I was 12 years old. I would get to work about 6:00 in the evening and work until midnight and walk about 2 miles home. Can you imagine if someone allowed their kid to do that today?

      • The old truck stop waitress ladies there took care of me like I was a baby. When I would ask for a cheeseburger and fries for my lunch one of them would say,"Oh no, your not going to eat that junk again." then," Al, fix this boy a chicken fried steak plate and make it a double!"

      • I knew a girl who worked at the same McDonalds for 16 years.

      • I looked up "rut" in the dictionary- there was her picture.

      Sunday, March 4, 2012

      Sunday's Summary

        From a search for, 'Sunday Photos'

      • The CI Roller Dude recently got me to thinking about my time amongst our beloved Marine Corp. One memory that jumped out: during a final briefing before roll out on a patrol the Marines we had been told to expect to be there were noticeably absent. Being the highly observant Soldiers we were- we brought this absence to the attention of the patrol leader. "Well, we talked to them about some of our expectations and they brought up some of theirs, so joint patrols are on hold for now." What it boiled down to was each side thought the other would get them killed and/or cause unnecessary civilian casualties. Also, there was a fear basic things like using different lingo would cause a breakdown leading to casualties. In the end we had a great time, did some cool stuff and made some memories.

      • A funny memory: The night before an early AM patrol I told a Marine corporal who was quizzing me about what to do and what to bring before his first patrol with us. As I ran my list down with him I said," Bring a coffee cup if you've got it. One of us usually jacks a bunch of donuts and we eat them and drink coffee while we check weapons and get comms up." He laughed- until he realised I was dead serious, then I thought he was going to vomit on me. Really, the color just drained from his face. He knew at that point I was going to be the one that got him killed. He later became my biggest supporter and one of my best Marine friends.

      • I may just give my bud my bike. A couple of weeks ago I tried to ride around the block. I ended up pushing it home and had trouble even getting out of bed for days afterward.

      • I'm trying a new anti-inflammatory. It helps a little, but oddly for the amount it helps has an onerous rebound affect- if I skip a dose I'm in agony.

      • Somebody gave my son a huge set of Biblical action figures. They're cool because it did get us talking about spiritual things and Bible history, but Godfuhgimme- they're lame.

      • My office is still terribly stark and plain- it gets compared to a jail cell.

      • When fall starts coming on I feel a little bummed. It's like a part of me knows my life is winding down- like summer and the best parts of my life are coming to an end. Oddly, though once winter cranks up- I feel great and I'm OK.

      • You spin me right round like a record...

      Saturday, March 3, 2012


      • "Dad, you're squishing me!" what Zac said when I hugged him tonight. Get used to it kid.

      • We went to Sunshine Lake earlier. I was surprised at the number of migratory ducks. Generally, you see them predictably as the cold weather descends from up North and yes, at times after cold spurts, but it hasn't been that cold up there.

      • We saw one flock of at least 60 birds and heard others taking off in the dark.

      • No surprise: an acquaintance's son is who used to pushing crews from Texas in both oil and gas fields- is about to pull his hair out working guys from other states in PA.

      • Vietnam In HD- here's your chance to get a handle on the Vietnam War.

      • In May of 1968 over 2000 American troops were killed.

      • "Cross country skiing is fine- if you live in a small country." Steven Wright

      Friday, March 2, 2012

      Friday's Dispatch

        Since he's not dead he can't really roll over in his grave, but this may be enough to make Jarhead stroke out and die.

        • A good feeling: Kevin, we need you up front please. There's a crazy person up here and he's scaring us- a recent phone call from the front office.

        • It's waht's for breakfast- Zac wants a peanut butter and jam sandwich with both blackberry and strawberry jam.

        • I've had the Psychedelic Furs song Heartbreak Beat playing in my head for days.

        • Strangely poetic and moving, but somehow wrong clips of napalm, bombing and rocket runs from aircraft in Vietnam set to beautiful music.

        Thursday, March 1, 2012

        He Said She Said

        From a search for "he said she said photos"

        The following is the transcript of a conversation between me and my friend.

        She: I'm starting a vegan cleanse diet.
        Me: That's nice.
        She: It cleanses toxins.
        Me: That's cool.
        She: You think about it, animals are nasty.
        Me: Yeah.
        She: It cleanses the system.
        Me after getting annoyed, starting to break down and allowing myself be drawn into her web of intrigue: You've been spending too much time on the Internet.
        She: No, ______ told me about it.
        Me: Drink more water, eat less and exercise more. The rest will take care of itself.
        She: He's been doing it for years.
        Me: Good for him.
        She: He's a pretty smart guy.
        Me: Whatever- he's not as smart as me.
        She: Animals eat their own crap!
        Me: Not the ones we eat.
        She: It's Not right!
        Me: What?
        She: To eat animals.
        Me: We were made to eat animals dum-dum.
        She: How do you know that?
        Me: Why else would they be so delicious?

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        Φωνή Βοώντος Αμαρτωλού Ιερέως
        "Ιδού έστηκα επί την θύραν και κρούω· εάν τις ακούση της φωνής μου και ανοίξη την θύραν, και εισελεύσομαι προς αυτόν και δειπνήσω μετ΄ αυτού και αυτός μετ΄ εμού"
        It's all Greek to me!