Dreamscape

Robert Deniro is standing beside some dude in an elevator whose head and arm are trapped in the door between floors.

The setting for my weirdest dream ever contender from last night.

You know what I like? says Deniro. No- what?! says the guy as the door starts coming down a little more. Masturbating- a nice slow masturbating session is always good for what ails you. What!? Choking the chicken, flogging the dolphin... I know what masturbation is, how is that going to help me? Says dude as the door chokes him a bit more. Here, let me show you Deniro says while reaching for dudes privates. Dude pulls himself away and says, I don't need you to show me how! Well, get after it then.

When Dude finishes it relaxes him enough he slides back into the elevator as the door slams shut. Deniro pushes a down button. The doors open and there are zombies in gas masks armed with M16s which they're pointing straight up. They all start firing their weapons into the air. The light from the muzzle flashes reveals there are hundreds of the zombies. Deniro pushes the first floor button. As the door opens at the floor they fist bump and the dream fades to black.

The End