Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
- Although I haven't seen the most disgusting video in the history of disgusting which shall go nameless on this post- this one was quite distressing.
- Among my elderly patients and others I've encountered who live to extremely advanced old age I've noted they: 1) don't eat very much at a sitting but, eat whatever they want. 2) Eat lots of fruits and veggies though. 3) Have a good sense of humor. 4) Drink lots of water. 5) Never seem obsessive about their health but, always take an active interest. 6) Get some exercise daily and believe it's important. 7) Tend to think logically as opposed to being emotionally driven. 8) Are friendly and interested in other peoples welfare and opinions. 9) Embrace new technology.10) Read books and newspapers and/or do crossword and word search puzzles. 11) Very independent.12) Eat lots of fiber. 13) Believe in getting their rest- even if they don't sleep long. 14) Get up early- even if not morning people.15) Rarely have trouble sleeping. 16) Rarely take a lot of meds and believe most people take too many. 17) Often take vitamins. 18) Are frugal even if wealthy and not stingy. 19) Believe in passing on life lessons. 20) Usually poo poo longevity questions though and see their longevity as a product of moderation- denying there's a secret. 21) Almost always have genetic proclivity in their history 22) Almost never drink sodas. 23) May smoke but, never drink alcohol in any real quantities.
- Any others you've noticed?
- Wrote a post once while hungry at about 2 o'clock in the morning. I rambled about food for several lines then mentioned a thought about one of my former patients who died while I was holding her hand. It was too random. I went back to change it later after it posted but, folks had commented on it- so it remained.
- New truism- Never grocery shop when hungry or write a post for your blog.
- When trying to remember which has one S and which has two when writing dessert (the sweet dish at the end of a meal) and desert (a desolate place) try this: picture your favorite, yummy dessert and nothing else but, the dessert with a label leaned against it that says, Simply Sweet and read it aloud in your mind a few times while looking at the card.
- There's one problem we've solved together we'll never have to worry about again!
- When I was in high school I was in a program to help get ready for college. We did classes on Saturdays and through part of the summer. It seemed like every desk and bathroom stall had SS carved or written on it somewhere. One of the coaches at my high school in Decatur TX told me what his nickname was and to watch for it when he found out I was taking classes at his Alma Mater,"I put it everywhere!" he proudly proclaimed.
- He was called Super Sport.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
- Sony has a camera mount out with a built in processor and facial recognition software. Ostensibly it's supposed to swivel around, tilt up and down and when it recognises a person click- you've got snapshots of all your favorite people from your parties. I don't know what or how exactly but, I predict bad things. At the very least there will be blogs dedicated to embarrassing pics. I also predict at least one crime solved when one is inadvertently left on some night or while a family is away on vacation.
- The neighbor who is building next to me has a friend my son knows through school. When he asked what they were like he said something like,"He is a mechanic, who doubles as a drug runner and drug dealer. Oh and he has 7 kids."
- Onion soup is the only food that really can lay me low- absolutely destroys sometimes but, I love the stuff.
- I really like my Fed Ex guy. A nice, nice man. I think a lot of sad things have happened to him- he's an extremely balanced person it seems but, yeah, I think he knows a thing or two about loss.
- Don't ask me why I think things like that about people but, I'm never wrong.
- There was kind of a big blow up when American Idol was in the South and an unhappy contestant said as he was leaving to the effect,"Take care of yourself and be careful." The shows producers and judges took it at as a veiled threat. As a lifelong member of southerly culture (Texas, Tennessee,South Carolina, Georgia) allow me to translate and expand. What he was basically saying is, Although I'm mad at you for how rude you were to me and butthurt that you dashed my illusions of great things to come I'm not going to be rude back. While you're in my fair state I'll tell you the same things I would tell my sister going off to college- take care of yourself and be careful. Yes, there may a bit more of an edge but, I'm butthurt and I'll get over it and I really don't wish anything bad on you.
- The Turdbomb is in the shop. We'll see but, confidence is high the motor is blown. Thankfully, it gave out just around the corner from gran mamas house and we coasted into the drive. Kids can be great in those conditions- I mean that with all sincerity- we're stranded, this breakdown could be what pushes us over the edge financially but, the oldest looked at it as an opportunity to hang out with his other grandmother and his cousin, the baby took an epic nap on great grandmothers big bed and the middle one split her time between watching Charlie And The Chocolate Factory and playing in grannies ginormous yard. While I'm out there in the wind and the cold alternatively kicking the car, cursing, praying to God, sweet talking the car- come on baby start my kids are with me- I'll change your oil and buy you a new battery... and checking every wire and fluid level that I ever saw work for every shade tree mechanic I've ever seen.
- Then after the tow truck picked her up I fantasised a hydraulic malfunction that caused the bed of the truck to tilt up dragging Turdbomb- sparks flying 'til she caught on fire then she rolls away and explodes against a bridge abutment in a spectacular fireball of explosive, fiery combustibility. It was favorite car! I'd scream in court, tears streaming down my face in apparent, ahem- I mean obvious sincerity.
- Of course I'd just filled up before she blew.
- Of course the above daydream didn't happen.
- I want a Suburban anyway.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
- Is there anything any better than you're motoring down your favorite highway (or byway) driving way too fast and before you know what's up- Ponch and John whip their unit around, hit their lights and just as you are mentally looking for your license and papers and wracking your brain for that just right excuse that might help them have mercy on you- they blast right past you on the way to another call? I mean really- isn't that greatest?
- It's like winning the lottery.
- However, that reminds me- I will never lie or really even try to get out of a ticket in any way and I think that attitude has actually gotten me out of a lot of tickets. A little humor and a little respect can go a long way.
- No, really.
- There used to be two troopers in our area (Decatur TX) that were partners and were famous around here for their good looks. Really, they looked like recruiting poster models. One honestly looked a muscled up Zac Efron. I don't know how many women I've heard talking about them saying things like,"Either one of them could give me a ticket any day!"
- Sorry ladies, I don't think you are either one of their type.
- I've had food poisoning three times from restaurants.
- There aren't words.
- There is a BBQ joint near me that I get asked about a lot. People find out where I live and they'll say,"Oh, is that place any good? I've always heard it was good but, never got over there to try it." etc.
- Making me relive the time I went there and found a nice, big, long, curly, springy pubic hair in the take home container of beans.
- It was black on one end and gray on the other and impossibly long for a pubic hair.
- I mean epically long.
- Good God, how does that happen? I mean as inexcusable as it would be in itself you could understand a head hair, a mustache hair, an eyelash but, good grief- a pubic hair?
Sunday, October 25, 2009
- Religious people scare me sometimes. To qualify: religious people who are so ignorant they don't understand their own religion and or the consequences of adhering to an intellectually or morally corrupt religion really scare me and here's what I mean. People in Nigeria are killing their own children because nutty leaders are accusing them of being witches. They refer back to a passage in Exodus that was mistranslated in the KJV "Thou shall not suffer a witch to live." Exodus 20:18. The word witch there should have been translated as poisoner and scholars at the time even knew it- it's one of the kings biases that plagues KJV, he hated witchcraft and was fearful of witches. Why would it say poisoner? It was a common problem among certain Jewish groups at the time it was written.
- Another is snake handlers. I don't know where to start with these folks but, the simple answer is the passages they misuse in Mark say depending on translation to the effect, "They will handle deadly snakes and drink poison and no harm will befall them." not, They will get bit by an eastern diamond back rattler, require (if they live at all) a lengthy hospital stay, endure skin grafts, treatment for massive organ failure, life long side effects... Another couple interesting things about these mountain folks practices- they really do drink poison, specifically strychnine which is often used in place of real LSD in the drug world and when dosed properly gives the same exact effect. Hmmmm. They oddly forget the passage though in Acts that seems to speak directly to believers themselves: "We should not test the Lord, as some of them did — and were killed by snakes.” 1 Cor. 10:9 and latch onto the one in Mark about snake handling that is an obvious reference to the Apostles then living and not future generations of people.
- I don't know which is more ridiculous these things as practiced by people living in the world today- it's 2009 AD not 9 BC for crying out loud!
- Or arguing about religion on the Internet.
Friday, October 23, 2009
- Like anyone I suppose if I'm exposed to an image or some particular information before bed I'll often have dreams influenced by them that night. The other night took that to the crazy extreme. In my recliner that evening I checked the paper for a dog for my children and the sale pages for a new cutlery set. We then had to go to the store to look for a book my teenager needed in class and there I glanced at some of the Twilight books. That night in my dreams I was savaged by vampire dogs at every turn and had nothing to defend myself with except a fairly dull Ginsu.
- Chop, chop, yelp, stabbity stab- yelp, yelp.
- It was ridiculous but, intense.
- The show Modern Family is great- was worn smooth out at the thought of the politically correct beating it was bound to dish out but, no- just very funny stories, good sight gags and jokes. And, yes it does make you think- without beating you about the head and neck.
- If I was a scientist I think I would either study light- specifically LASER and LEDs or soils and plant life.
- I think it's ridiculous LEDs are only just now coming into their own for general lighting use.
- And nearly as bad is the only real weapons grade laser we have is a chemical laser that uses a 1000 gallons of chems is 20 or 30 feet long is carried by a C 130 and we're decades away from one that's more reasonably practical.
- I had a computer programmer girlfriend once who got accepted to a job that if she had taken it would have been a scientist.
- Why didn't she take the job? She found when they made her an offer you normally don't get paid a lot for the privilege of being introduced as a scientist.
Found this big fella on the corner of the garage the other night. No, I didn't throw my 900 dollar camera to the ground and shriek like a little girl when he jumped from that stone to my pretty bald head. Click to enscareinate yourself.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
So much good we could (and yes I know really- do) spread in this crazy, mixed up world we live in but, this always seem to be the best image we can project- dangerous, crappy food.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
"Man, she's pretty huh buddy?" I said as the young lady left his bedside while I was his continuous care nurse. He smiled real big nodding his head energetically and laughed a little causing a gurgling from his trach hole and then a coughing spell that left him breathless. She returned later to bring me his meds to give through his peg-tube. As she stood at his side he pointed to her, then me, then formed a hole with the index and thumb fingers of his left hand, then put the index finger of his right hand in the hole and began running it in and out. Before I could say,"Holy smokes man- back that train up before we cross any lines here!" (yes, I am a perennial line crosser but, I do have my limits) I realised:
He was asking her to give me his morphine suppository so I could give it to him for his pain.
Monday, October 19, 2009
- How to say I love you.
- My children- even the baby knows I cannot stand being tickled and even the threat of it freaks me out and makes me laugh and squirm- yes they take full advantage of that weakness.
- I mean, really- who is responsible for raising those monsters?
- I've never had sex with someone I didn't know- a one night stand or whatever people call it.
- Favorite movies that are really, really not for mixed company: Boogie Nights, Trainspotting and Pulp Fiction.
- A great movie you've never seen before but, should: Buffalo 66.
- Saw Zombieland, not a huge disappointment but, just pretty OK.
- It doesn't bother me a bit to go to a movie or restaurant by myself and it makes me feel sad when people say they feel that way. It's really something people should try to get over if they feel that way. People go hungry because of what they think other people think of them if they're in a restaurant alone. I Don't want to sound mean but, guess what? Honestly, no one cares.
- If I'm by myself in a restaurant I will invite someone to eat with me who is standing in line for a table. A couple did this for me when I was on vacation once- very interesting time. I couldn't tell you their names if my life depended on it but, I'll remember our conversation for a long time.
- Headline: Ethics issues could cloud Rep. Rangels future. Good grief, you would have to be retarded or have lived under a rock for the past 50 years to believe he won't ever be right where he is at- doing what he has always done.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
A photo of Perdue with one of his birds appeared on billboards all over Mexico with a caption that explained "It takes a hard man to make a chicken aroused."
Friday, October 16, 2009
SGT Steve Morin died in Iraq on September 28 2005 when an IED struck his vehicle approximately 60 days before he was to rotate home.
According to the page I got some of my information from he was one of 460 people to die from Texas. He was one of 98 people 34 years old and one of 7 to die on that day. Washington Post
He and his wife Gwendolyn met while they were working for a photography company- he was playing Santa Clause, she an elf.
He left behind two children- a 6 year old boy who understood ,"Daddy is fighting the bad guys" and a 12 year old girl who I'm sure needed her daddy at that time and the years to come as much as any girl, especially after reading what a great dad, man and leader he was in life.
Steve held bachelors degrees in business and economics.
He enjoyed fishing, wrestling and reading to his children. DMN
There's a confluence point dedicated to him in Iraq.
I never met Steve although we had friends in common. Even though I like the above ancient proverb and tend to agree I can never forget the look of absolutely carrying the weight of the world on their backs and utter sadness on the faces of the men who knew him when we learned of his death.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
- Apples from the Sonic version of a Happy Meal. Apple slices- great choice to have for your child, right? I'm curious though: this picture was taken after the slices stayed in an open bag after coming out already sliced and then they lay on the floorboard of the car in 90 degree heat- for two days. When I slice one at home they turn brown before I can even round the children up to eat them. Hmmm...
- I went to school with a girl who had a goal of writing out every number on notebook paper up to 1 million. She carried a stack of paper probably two inches thick with numbers written very small on the front and back of each paper. I don't remember the exact number but, it was in the tens of thousands.
- She was also responsible for most of us seeing an image of a dead person for the first time. She told us her parents took a picture of her baby brother after he died of SIDS. We said,"Uh, uh did not!" she said."Huh, huh did so!" and brought us a picture the very next day of an obviously dead baby laying on a floor.
- A trillion dollars on particle colliders, planned trips to the moon and Mars, film business is a multi billion dollar business in this country alone- we don't have any problems.
- I can't write the word dollar that I don't think of my college economics professor. He had a very particular way of saying it and insisted we all pronounced it properly.
- Dahlahr- is the closest I can get.
- Someone gently tried to correct me when I pronounced laser properly the other day. Laser is an acronym. The s has a c sound since it's from the word stimulated. It's not layzer- it's laycer.
- Unusual headline: Man found asleep in closet... with a corpse.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Don't ask me.
Monday, October 12, 2009
- There was a rock in the pocket of my oldest sons new cargo shorts.
- It is like volcanic pumice but, light brown with glittery crystals in it, very light (I bet it would float) and about the size of a peach pit. He and my daughter brought it to me to check out after he found it. I looked at, hefted it to get the feel for its weight and smelled it.
- Then I licked it for taste.
- Ewwwww DAD!
- I met a 72 year old man recently who told me,"The secret to success is vegetarianism. I've been a vegetarian for 50 years." He told me that about 30 minutes after seeing him eat the most epic, ginormous, delicious looking cheeseburger I've ever seen in my life.
- My neighbor is always spraying or spreading something on his lawn. When it heats up after a cool morning it can smell chemical-ie even.
- I lightly weed and feed mine in spring and sometimes late summer/fall, water it- that's it and it looks a lot better than his.
- I've yet to read anything comparing what the Taliban spends in Afghanistan and AQI spends in Iraq versus what the US spends as a percentage of what each has available.
- Well- probably a nonsense question, we all just print more bills.
- The commercial for the Jack In The Box Mini Sirloin Burgers is epic. "Herding cows the size of schnauzers" Ha, funny.
- I have never eaten at White Castle.
- I've used the word "epic" twice in this post.
- I have a thick mustache and almost always have- I had a 'stache before having one was cool.
- Oh, didn't know mustaches are cool? Take my word for it they are.
- It had 13 gray hairs in it at last count.
- That was a few days ago- probably more now but, I'm not going to look.
- I take a lot of ribbing for it- jealousy does that to people you know.
- I get told I look like a porn star and told some 1970s baseball team is looking for their pitcher.
- It's more fun to pretend I'm a fireman.
- Woooo woooo. Honk honk- get out the way- the firemens are coming!
- Someone once called it the Dirty Sanchez. I'm not sure what that meant but, it sounded pretty funny.
- It got caught in the bristles of an electric toothbrush once.
- Not as fun as it sounds.
- And I do mean caught- as in I had to pull the hairs out to release it- my eyes are watering thinking about it.
- It grows in crooked- like I messed up trying to trim it.
- That's how invariably I end up shaving it off until it grows back. I'll try to even it out, I take too much, Oh man, then I take a little off the other side, Crap, I take too much from that side. Pretty soon, I look like I'm ready for a white power meeting and have to shave the whole thing off.
- Then I mourn.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
A Soldier's Last Letter From Afghanistan" (CBS) The following are journal entries and a letter to his family by Army Corporal Jason Bogar of Seattle, Washington. They were found on his computer following his death during his second tour in Afghanistan, after having served a tour in Iraq as part of the Washington National Guard. The entries below are published verbatim, with editing for language.
Journal Entries Afghanistan OEF VIII ‘07-‘08 15 December 2007 I arrived at a little Forward Operating Base called Bella. As I got off the bird the first thing I noticed was that I was surrounded by high mountains. They put me in weapons squad as an Assistant Gunner. I have to carry 400-500 7.62 rounds. Witch weighs around 6 pounds every 100 rounds. That on top of all the other stuff I have to carry it’s not easy humpin these mountains. I was put into an Airborne unit and me not having Airborne school I get allot of s--- for it. While we were at Bella it was pretty bad. I lost my Platoon sergant SFC Kahler and was in around 10-15 firefights. The firefights weren’t that bad but losing SFC Kahler was very hard on me and the other guys that have known him longer. He was shot in the head by supposedly allies that were manning one of the Observation Posts. A patrol went out early in the morning to set up overlooking a village in an attempt to catch AAF [Anti American Forces]. He said to the men that were with him “I never like this, you guys find cover and I’ll go up to get their attention.” He walked up stating loudly we are Americans. From where he was standing he was siloueted against a roof with snow on it and American soldiers have very distinctive silouette with our Kevelar helmet and gear we wear. But was still shot in the head by Mohamed Din, A name and face that will forever be with me. If I ever see him I will do everything in my power to kill him even if it takes mine. The men that killed him dropped their weapons and ran after Mohamed Din shot him. It was planned and they all knew exactly what they were doing. We arrived at Blessing 21 June 2008 We took indirect fires two days in a row. It’s just a matter of time that the guy slips up and is killed. I just pray that no freindlys are hit before we kill him. Patrols have been slowing down but on the third our Platoon is going to Wanat. It’s a little village inbetween where I am now and were I was for the first 6 months. The last three patrols that have gone out that way have either been hit with small arms and RPG’s or had locals tell us that there was Taliban in the area. There is also Icom chat from Taliban that they have built up fighting positions and are just waiting for us. I think that we will see some pretty heavy fighting while we are out there.
TO MY FAMILY I feel my days are numbered so I want to say all this while I still can. I pray to god no-one will ever have to read this but as death is all around me if it falls upon me you will understand my recent feelings on this madness we call life. My views and outlook on life seems to be drastically changing recently. As many of you saw before I left when I quit drinking, I was just starting to live my life. Never have I felt as strong as I do about what I am doing here in Afghanistan is the right thing to be doing and is understood and accepted by god. As a result of that death is easier to accept. Coming back over here again seemed more appealing than being in America surrounded by Americans that are more concerned about there next new car, new house, celebrity, ect. Than the threat to the way of life of the west that is so prevalent in the places I‘ve grown to accept as daily life. I hope one day there will be more Americans knowledgeable on the situation with terrorism in Afghanistan and how important it is that it’s destroyed. Being back here in Afghanistan is exactly were I was supposed to be and where I wanted to be. I feel I’m doing more good over here than I was as an electrician. I knew exactly what I was doing when I re-enlisted Infantry I’m just sorry that you all have to suffer for it now. For me to prepare myself to take life without hesitation has been a very difficult thing to do. To take away another woman’s son, husband, mans son, brother has always bothered me but through my eyes is understood by my god and I am forgiven. For the man that took my life more than likely for all he has known his whole life he feels the exact same way I do when he killed me. That is what scares me and I don’t think is understood by disappointingly a huge percentage of Americans. I’ve always used the analogy if your told the color blue is green your whole life and someone tells you it’s actually blue they can give you all the facts in the world to prove it’s blue but at the end of the day it’s still green to you. The enemy were faced with is most of the time beyond words and it comes down to a sad but inevitable conclusion. We have to have young men that are willing to die to act on them and kill them before they can carry out any plans they have to kill innocent people because that is what they believe Allah wants, from distorted teachings of the Koran. Know that you all are the reason I am here and to give my life for that is nothing to me. My love for every-one of you is what drives me and brings me comfort under stressful situations. Carise let your child know of me and that even though I was never able to see he/she grow I love them more than they could imagine."
- Busted! The phantom light switcher gets caught in the act in sissies room and answers the question,"How does he do that?"
- As I was walking out of the bedroom and into the living room where my two boys were playing I heard the two year old say something it took me a few seconds and a little effort to translate- "Effff beee yie... Got on dare dwound!"
- FBI... Get on the ground!
- All three of us slept in the tent last night. They kept me up late. Someone was farty (not me). My back was bothering me before we lay down- so I'm in agony now. They both talk in their sleep. Zac is a serious heat generator- and a tumble bug. Every movement someone else makes on that air mattress is like a Richter Scale 6 earthquake.
- We also read to each other and talked. I read from The Lord Of The Rings. Zac drew pictures for us and challenged us to identify the object. I taught them things about camping. I listened to their breathing after they went to sleep while I read by the light of a headlamp. We heard coyotes howling- in the not too distant distance.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
- When my baby son saw some of the skin peeling from my sunburn on my leg last summer and pulled it off it sounded like packing tape being stripped back. Then he tried to shake it off as it stuck to his finger. The big kids said," Ewwww, dad- that's gross!"
- A girl wrote on here and said she saw my,"Ta-Tas."
- I can honestly- say no one has ever said that about me before.
- Made me laugh- so funny.
- Lot of miles from that miserable episode of my life.
- I've mentioned this before but, the above pic made me think of an odd, random thing I heard from two different friends in two different states that still trips me out when it crosses my mind- they each thought I'd marry a dancer (not the pole type). Still can't wait to see what goes through my mind when I meet someone and they say,"Oh, I'm a ballerina..."
- A flashback: when I came home for leave from Iraq I brought everything back with me they wouldn't let me mail and I wouldn't need for the rest of the tour to save me from carrying back so much at the end of the tour and I also intended to leave a bunch at home for the return to Iraq from leave. As many of my plans go, this one went awry with the realization a whole bunch of children's clothes were going to Goodwill and there were a whole bunch of poor kids near my base without decent clothing. Needless to say I humped more stuff back to Iraq than I brought over. Way more. When I handed the clothes out two things really stick in my memory still- one was when I pulled out a pair of girls patent leather dress shoes still stuck together by the little stretch cord and two girls ripping them apart and staring at their reflections in the shoe they each had walking away ignoring my efforts to get them together to one child- they would fit. And another- I didn't see any of the other clothes for months until we patrolled that area in about 50 degree temperature when I saw a 2-3 year old boy wearing a pair of my daughters flowery embroidered jeans that were high watered on him and nothing else.
- Still makes me want to cry.
- I almost stayed home a few extra days for leave and even told people that was my intention. I mean really what were they going to do? Send me to a war? Prison? Stamp my meal card, No Dessert (my favorite response).
- In the end I wanted to get back to (and for) my soldiers so bad I would have left days early to return if the opportunity presented.
- You may have read about the soldiers and contractors being electrocuted by KBR electrical work in Iraq- I knew one of them.