Monday's Mustashiooed Missives

• I have a thick mustache and almost always have- I had a 'stache before having one was cool.
• Oh, didn't know mustaches are cool? Take my word for it they are.
• It had 13 gray hairs in it at last count.
• That was a few days ago- probably more now but, I'm not going to look.
• I take a lot of ribbing for it- jealousy does that to people you know.
• I get told I look like a porn star and told some 1970s baseball team is looking for their pitcher.
• It's more fun to pretend I'm a fireman.
• Woooo woooo. Honk honk- get out the way- the firemens are coming!
• Someone once called it the Dirty Sanchez. I'm not sure what that meant but, it sounded pretty funny.
• It got caught in the bristles of an electric toothbrush once.
• Not as fun as it sounds.
• And I do mean caught- as in I had to pull the hairs out to release it- my eyes are watering thinking about it.
• It grows in crooked- like I messed up trying to trim it.
• That's how invariably I end up shaving it off until it grows back. I'll try to even it out, I take too much, Oh man, then I take a little off the other side, Crap, I take too much from that side. Pretty soon, I look like I'm ready for a white power meeting and have to shave the whole thing off.
• Then I mourn.