Wednesday's Digressions

• Sony has a camera mount out with a built in processor and facial recognition software. Ostensibly it's supposed to swivel around, tilt up and down and when it recognises a person click- you've got snapshots of all your favorite people from your parties. I don't know what or how exactly but, I predict bad things. At the very least there will be blogs dedicated to embarrassing pics. I also predict at least one crime solved when one is inadvertently left on some night or while a family is away on vacation.


• The neighbor who is building next to me has a friend my son knows through school. When he asked what they were like he said something like,"He is a mechanic, who doubles as a drug runner and drug dealer. Oh and he has 7 kids."


• cute


• Onion soup is the only food that really can lay me low- absolutely destroys sometimes but, I love the stuff.


• I really like my Fed Ex guy. A nice, nice man. I think a lot of sad things have happened to him- he's an extremely balanced person it seems but, yeah, I think he knows a thing or two about loss.


• Don't ask me why I think things like that about people but, I'm never wrong.
• There was kind of a big blow up when American Idol was in the South and an unhappy contestant said as he was leaving to the effect,"Take care of yourself and be careful." The shows producers and judges took it at as a veiled threat. As a lifelong member of southerly culture (Texas, Tennessee,South Carolina, Georgia) allow me to translate and expand. What he was basically saying is, Although I'm mad at you for how rude you were to me and butthurt that you dashed my illusions of great things to come I'm not going to be rude back. While you're in my fair state I'll tell you the same things I would tell my sister going off to college- take care of yourself and be careful. Yes, there may a bit more of an edge but, I'm butthurt and I'll get over it and I really don't wish anything bad on you.
• The Turdbomb is in the shop. We'll see but, confidence is high the motor is blown. Thankfully, it gave out just around the corner from gran mamas house and we coasted into the drive. Kids can be great in those conditions- I mean that with all sincerity- we're stranded, this breakdown could be what pushes us over the edge financially but, the oldest looked at it as an opportunity to hang out with his other grandmother and his cousin, the baby took an epic nap on great grandmothers big bed and the middle one split her time between watching Charlie And The Chocolate Factory and playing in grannies ginormous yard. While I'm out there in the wind and the cold alternatively kicking the car, cursing, praying to God, sweet talking the car- come on baby start my kids are with me- I'll change your oil and buy you a new battery... and checking every wire and fluid level that I ever saw work for every shade tree mechanic I've ever seen.
• Then after the tow truck picked her up I fantasised a hydraulic malfunction that caused the bed of the truck to tilt up dragging Turdbomb- sparks flying 'til she caught on fire then she rolls away and explodes against a bridge abutment in a spectacular fireball of explosive, fiery combustibility. It was favorite car! I'd scream in court, tears streaming down my face in apparent, ahem- I mean obvious sincerity.
• Of course I'd just filled up before she blew.
• Of course the above daydream didn't happen.
• I want a Suburban anyway.