|from a hard day at work in the coal mine and as I look over from the middle lane I see a new Porsche Carrerra in the lane to my right. It is black, has custom wheels and is gorgeous. I glance back and forth several times taking it all in and as I am shamelessly coveting it, a ridiculously pretty blonde lady behind the wheel of the Porsche glances over and smiling throws me a quick wave. Bashfully and feeling totally busted, I awkwardly smile back and half heartedly wave and then I get back to driving and minding my own business.|
A mile or two down the road as I am driving along obliviously- in my own little world my nose starts to itch. I rub it once making it worse. I rub it again and then again from side to side and then yes- a little on the inside corner but I am not picking my nose. Incidentally, I become aware of something on my thumb which makes me think, Holy smokes- is it a booger? Looking at my thumb I see the series of long fine cuts as you see above and having no recall of cutting my self I glance down from the road and peel it open and inspect the cuts. The main one is quite deep but not painful and I roll the skin back with my index finger as I glance up and down from the road to my weird thumb injury curious as to how and when this could have happened.
I am not rolling a booger between my fingers.
Suddenly, I become aware of a car to my left and I glance over to see the blonde Porsche Carrerra hotness lady staring at me with her mouth hanging open. It takes a second to process but I realize- she thinks she just totally busted me digging for green gold and then rolling it between my fingers and then inspecting it like a mental case. I start frantically shaking my head and saying No, Noooooo, I'm not picking my my nose! I was just... I was just...
As plain as day she mouths, Thats so gross! and floors it and leaves me behind- forever.
And that is how I missed the opportunity to be kept by a rich lady lawyer and have beautiful babies together that I would be stay home dad for on our amazing yacht while she raked in millions from evil corporations- all because I couldn't keep my stupid fat fingers out of my stupid fat nose.
Do you have any stories involving lost loves and nose picking?