Friday's Dispatch

• A Germany flashback: I've mentioned before I was known in my unit for my fairly good command of conversational German. This was so true I actually handled simple translations frequently between my unit, the police and German army units etc. Downtown, once I ordered a strawberry ice cream cone. The guy indicated he couldn't understand. Thinking he couldn't hear me and not knowing his thing was to embarrass Americans trying to use the local language I spoke up a little and spoke more clearly and again in German asked for a strawberry ice cream cone. Although a little slow on the up- take I figured out fairly quickly he was trying to make a fool of me and leaned in and said in English ,"Look dude, you either will give me a strawberry ice cream cone or I'm going to drag. you. out. this. little. window. and beat you right here on the pavement in front of your shop." Suddenly, his international hosting, linguistic and survival skills improved and he gave me the most beautiful, well stacked strawberry ice cream cone you've ever seen in your life.






• When I say,"gave"- I mean he would not even look at the Marks I offered. Of all the German people I met during my time there- I literally think of him at least as much and probably more than than any other person.






• Yes, in my lifetime I have threatened the well being of another human being over a strawberry ice cream cone. Don't start taking his side- he had it coming.






• Recently while doing a skin test on a patient I asked him to expose the opposite arm he had pulled his sleeve up on. He said,"Uh-oh- you're going to see my scar." Thinking he meant a burn etc.- things that I'm used to working around I said,"Well, let me take a look." He pulled up his sleeve exposing a laceration over his wrist that had at a glance, 10-12 stitches. I looked up at him and he said,"Yeah, that's all me- I did that." "Don't sweat it." I said.






• All I could say when he walked out was,"Be good and take care of yourself and come back and see us on _______".






• Three of the women at work have decided to find me a wife. I don't know whether to be terrified or flattered.






• I'm not kidding.






• On multiple occassions I've heard my friend telling women I know he's only been seeing 2 or 3 weeks he loves them.






• 'Cause even though you left me here I have nothing left to fear. These are only walls that hold me here.