At My Sister's House On December 27, 2015 I Had Honey Smoked Ham Covered In Queso Dip That Had Sausage In It

because- honey smoked ham covered in queso that had sausage in it- that is why... and Murica!

Monday's Missives

• It is out of order the way we write dates in America- it should be the day, month and then year. For example, today is December 12, 2016 so it should be 12/12/2016 instead of 12/12/2016... Oh, huh, well that example did not work out so well but you know what I mean because you are smart and good looking.
• Spetsnaz troops are on the ground in Syria. Of course we professional warfighters/political commentators knew that to be true but this is the first video I have seen of them in action. Be sure to turn the subtitles on for some comic relief. Amazing to see were the guys blown off the back of a truck by a missile (which I presume to be a Kornet) then get up and run away.
• As a ute I know we wrote the President in class but I am not sure if it was a group effort or if we did it individually and I do not recall a response at all. Nancy Renshaw was the teacher who headed the effort.
• I knew SpeedoMan well and basically my entire life. He was a good guy.
• Apollo 18 was a terrible movie although I was intrigued by the trailers and DVD cover description I saw before watching it. Man, I really thought it could be good and was disappointed it was so sucky.
• The F14s nickname is Tomcat which is cooler and harder sounding to me than the F22s moniker of Raptor.
• I always think moniker should be monikor and when spellcheck calls me on it I first wonder where I went wrong- without looking at the last 2 letters.
• Yesterday for lunch we had amazing chili made by a friends wife. It had sausage, stew meat and seasoned hamburger in it. I need to find out if I have chance with her if something happens to him or if she already has a back up husband in place.
• A hot friendly acquaintance is leaving her husband and another friendly acquaintance is already making a move on her- probably not smart homes. As hot and as cool as she is- she will be a wreck for a while brother. When she lands on her feet (as he undoubtedly will) a year or so from now somebody is going to be very lucky but until then, she will unintentionally destroy at least a few hopefuls.
• They had cowboy poetry and music at Mineral Wells Sate Park Saturday night. I wanted to go but did not have a single person I could have asked to go with me (to be more correct- the one I could and did ask rejected me with extreme prejudice) so I stayed home and watched a Simon Pegg movie about  a lame 40 year old loser. That is totally not me.
• I am 50 years old.

As I stood drinking coffee on my balcony this morning the thought occurred to me, In 1800s coal mines the proverbial canary in the coal mine was an actual canary.

It set me reeling and my mind was blown- as I am sure yours is right now.

Silent Night

Holy Night as you have never heard it before.

With Trumps

We got the president we wanted. We may have gotten the president we needed. Let us hope we did not get the president we deserved.

Monday's Missives

• This morning (today is 06/20/2016) I finished Romancing The Stone. What a good movie- not great- just a kinda good, enjoyable movie. Some things I took note of on this the 325th viewing: Kathleen Turner was covered with (real) bruises. That must have been one brutal film to make. In the end credits there is somebody noted as, "Hefty Woman" and the actors name you ask?  Her name was "Chachita".
• I am eating a breakfast croissant from Spudwinkle. It may be the best I have ever eaten in my life. This includes all other ones from them I have eaten in the past- how does that happen- especially when I am the only customer there and I arrive within minutes of the previous time I was there (and I go multiple times a week)? It seems to me they should with very slight varying degrees of separation all be about the same.
• This weekend I read an article about a guy who had been a professional truther. Part of the story was he saw the error of his way when he saw how that movement hurts victims of tragedies. He also talked about the attention and validation he received while a believer. He more/less admitted he ignored inconvenient facts as he walked the path. He then talked about how he became a victim of the movement he once represented as his life was threatened and efforts were made to destroy his reputation once he left the movement behind. My personal take away? The guy is a vapid, vacuous, narsicistic sociopath.
• This morning (11/07/2016) I awoke with every time telling device in my house being an hour ahead of my atomic watch which I had previously had trouble setting to recognize daylight savings time. I listened to the radio hoping they would clarify if my watch had just lost it's mind or if it was the only time keeper in the place that knew what was up. On the radio I heard multiple traffic and weather reports without a single time check which I suppose is because of the presumption that everybody has a cel phone to tell them the time but the same phones won't give them local weather and traffic?
• Somebody who is  famous in America for being beautiful looks not only very mannish to me but looks like she had a very clumsily performed sex change operation.
• Shia LBeouf.

I Looked Up Ridiculous In The Dictionary

Monday's Missives

• Recently (today is 11/16/206) I heard a reporter on the radio plain as day say, Igniting a wildflower instead of, Igniting a wildfire when speaking of a fire starter.
• Burning Inside- one of my favorite songs by Ministry.
• "I wish things were back the way they used to be"- the last email I received.
• When somebody says regarding how information is disseminated in an organization, I would rather them have too much information than not enough! I get what they're saying in general but wonder, Do they always mean that in every situation?! It seems like some people think a good way to handle an issue is to ship it off to somebody else with every piece of information they think even vaguely applies and voila- problem solved. Regardless, my email is stuffed full nearly every day with things people were not smart enough to figure out to whom and why the information should have gone to in the first place.
• It costs 7+ million dollars a year to keep a prisoner in Gitmo.
• We are crazy.
• I have no idea who Billy Bush is/was other than he was fired from a TV? job for something he or Donald Trump said in an interview a long time ago.
• My TMJ hurts like mad.
• My guess is Hilary and her team were caught off guard when Trump won. It basically never occurred to them he might win.
• Superman is dead

Graduation Confabulation

• This past weekend (today is 06/01/2016) I went to a friend's daughter's high school graduation ceremony.
• It was a bit of a whippin' but on balance- real nice.
• Although the music played was almost all bro-douche country, the valedictorian made reference to Compton and ended his speech with something like, Peace out-home skillet!
• There was a young lady there fanning herself at 100 mph while chewing gum at 200 mph and she did it non stop. It was mesmerising and exhausting to see.
• There is a nice pond near the school. I wanted to go fishing in it. I would have gone skinny dipping in it were I a kid and going to school there. No, I am not kidding- that is a natural fact which would have probably gotten me expelled.
• To save seats beside us for our late arriving friends we jacked a couple of, Reserved For _________ placards from the people in front of us who already had all their people present.
• As we turned to see the processional I smelled a rusty fart. The lug in front of me looked like a likely candidate so I took a step back from him in case he decided to cut loose again. My suspicions were were confirmed when I noticed his poor wife sniffing the air. She glanced down to his butt then looked back up at his face while glaring at him and muttering curse words under her breath and shaking her head. She was furious. Honestly, she looked like she might physically strangle him.
• When asked by my date what he was doing my creep friend said as he looked down at some lady's legs, Oh you know me- just enjoying the view!
• The superintindent of the district of the school had in another life been principal of my children's elementary. It is a small world.
• To determine whether to use priniciple or principal in a sentence don't worry about priniciple. Just remember: principal of a school is spelled that way because he is a prince of a pal to the students.
• Man, it was hot and humid. I didn't check weather.com but it had to be 400 degrees with 10,000% humidity out there.
• At the after party there were Mexicans, half black and Mexicans, Gayz and lesbians and people ranging in age from the high 70s down to 2 months so I guess we were a pretty inclusive bunch.
• So, a 9 year old kid walks into the kitchen and seeing a stack of trays of Jell-O shots says, Momma I want one of those. To which mom said, Oh, baby- you can't have one of those- they're for the grown ups. But, I had one before we left for the graduation! he replied. His aunt who overheard the exchange said as she face palmed hard, Oh. My. Gawd. No wonder he crawled up into my lap and went to sleep during the ceremony!
• Funniest thing though- he was not rushed to a hospital, there will be no lawsuit, he is still alive and as far as I know he has not progressed to crack and is not out on Rosedale selling his body behind a dumpster for rocks. 
• We played volleyball, washers and horseshoes. The horseshoe pit was separated from the washer pit by a 40 ft. gooseneck trailer- for safety. We were all about the safety.
• Horsheoes became popular in the US during the Revolutionary War. They used mule shoes though.
• An old friend was raised on a ranch and told of using actual horseshoes to play horseshoes although the rules (which I don't recall) were changed pretty dramatically. My children's grandad has mentioned the same thing from the days of his youth.
• During my tour of duty in Germany I learned to be a pretty mean horshoe player- almost everybody in my platoon played. We would have to stand back an extra ten feet and/or literally blindfold ourselves to make it a challenge. We would play for hours on end though when not on patrol so I guess it was not a shocker we got good.
• 60 pounds- the amount of crafish which were boiled at the party after the graduation.
• 1- the number of crawdads left alive in the kiddie pool after the boil. I took him to a beaver pond I know and set him free after we ate all his friends.
• He and I are bros now- I know he will never forget me.

Monday's Missives

• Occasionally there is a leadership class at work called something like, Lead Like Water! I am sure it is to connote how water always finds a way or something but I always process lead at first as being the heavy metal that causes brain damage when it is in the water and have an odd, momentary stop-down and wonder what on earth that could mean and why they want me to think about lead in my water...
• Hair Bath
• Recently (today is 7/2/2016) I tried to make a post with a meme of Steve McQueen which for some reason posted huge-  3 time or more the size of the original. When I deleted it the previous post also disappeared. 
• The professional tanner is here at the pool. 
• The Equate brand of instant lemonade is really good.  Today I will buy more and pimp it out with real lemons.
• Zacs el cheapo RC boat was a huge disappointment.
• Olive Garden sounds good right now. No, I know it isn't fine dining but for the price, service and bread- it is worth it. As a bonus it is so close- I sometimes walk.
• What is the most ridiculous tattoo you have personally experienced? An old friend had flames tattooed all over her butt.
• Ridiculous.
• Something that could only happen to me: One day when I was lonely and bummed I thought of a friend who had recently told me to hit her up sometime for lunch. So I wrote in an Email, “ Hey girl. I feel lonely and bummed. Want to go out have lunch and hang out?” For several minutes I could not shake the feeling I had done something wrong- I even second guessed whether asking the intended person to hang out was appropriate. Don’t be ridiculous knucklehead. She told you to ask her!  was the response to myself. Then it hit me- holy smokes- I sent it to my ex-wife! With a sick feeling in my stomach I opened my account to try and do damage control. The first thing I saw was a draft I was pretty sure I had not intentionally saved. Thank God- it did not send. Very- very carefully I deleted it.
• Holy smokes.
• My husband in law would have just laughed and laughed I am sure.

Deep Thought

“It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, an angel gets set on fire.”

Monday's Missives

• A smokin' hot friendly aquaintance has recently gone from often being tired and slightly withdrawn to being bright and bubbly and acting a little more flirty with me. A day or two ago another friend said to her as I walked into the room, Don't worry. The next time he texts you- we will send him a picture of you and Kevin together and say, Don't worry. I think I will get along fine without you!  Yesterday she received flowers. I can be a little slow on the uptake but suddenly it all became perfectly clear- her husband has jumped the fence.
• The flowers looked like a funeral arrangement. That numbskull.
• It was raining this morning.
• It is a sad day when the American voter has the 2 options he or she has today. Really, that is all I have to say about the subject of Election 2016- Beyond The Octagon!
• There is a small bag of Everlasting Gobstoppers on my desk. Cool- I have never had those before.
• Even cooler- there are S'mores and banana split flavored Dum-Dums although my favorite Dum-Dums flavor as of this writing is cotton candy.
• The only question I asked when I first encountered sweet potato fries and then at some later time was offered sweet potato chips was, What took so long for you to come into my life!?
• I met another person who was an interpreter for several years with US Army units in Afghanistan. We laughed and told stories like it was old home week.

Subject Line Of Last Email I Received

TODAY!!! Happy Weenie Day!

Wednesday's Digressions

• In my nursing I have to deal with people's addictions. It is interesting to me the number of people who swear they have not touched their particular product of destruction be it drugs, alcohol or tobacco or whatever in years; yet they keep a sample of whatever to remind them. Patients have even referenced the change in pack appearance as the marketing of their old cigarette or booze brand has evolved. One patient told me he quit crack years ago yet keeps some in his house along with a pipe. His theory is if he had to go out and get it when the urge strikes he knows he would do it yet, if he is ever tempted; that urge is tempered by how easy it would be to destroy himself with one little trip to his garage...
• I am not sure if that is brilliant or stupid.
• ZZ TOP, AC/DC and Van Halen: bands that top the list of absolute legends- that just never were all that great.
• One Of These Days...
• Yesterday (today is 02/19/2016) in one of our meetings a supervisor who usually has to be heard (as in she almost can't help it) did not say a single word- not a word. I nearly forgot she was there.
• Mmmmm...
• Su silencio era ensordecedor.
• Until very recently I never called my children kids but now I refer to them as that more often than not.
• A recent WWWIHBST believed whole hearted in equal rights for and empowerment of women until it was time to pay a bill; then suddenly chivalry became the rule of the day. I knew there was an unfairness present but oddly, didn't know the extent until I saw how much extra money I had after we parted ways.

Monday's Missives

• Toll booth operators where they still have them are almost always friendly in my experience in spite of what stand ups may say and also what I would have guessed.
• In Bridget Jones Diary Zellwegger's character has a British accent. I had no idea.
• At work recently (today is 03/16/2016) the subject came up of how some people carry weight better than others - meaning they don't look like they weigh as much as they do and the decision was unanimous that the idea is true. It reminded me of a smokin' hot girlfriend I had who weighed 170-180 pounds. She stood 5 feet 10 inches tall, was athletically built and had large breasts so I suppose most people would have never guessed until told how much she weighed; at least I was floored when I first found out. There was another woman I knew who was 4 feet 9 inches tall and weighed a little more than that girlfriend- so yeah, in spite of being very cute, she was a lil ole roly poly fat chick. I get those situations. What intrigued us though, were the people who were overweight and not real tall nor real short and they just don't look like they weigh as much as they do. My guess is there can be a Shallow Hal effect but also a lot of them have become adept at disguising their weight.
• Transformers Dark of the Moon is in my opinion very good but I never watched it until last night in spite of owning it for a year or more. I could have sworn I watched part of it previously and didn't like it so I never tried it again until I just needed something to watch before I dozed off.
•  A co worker this morning was bemoaning getting old as she has started a Crossfit program and, Everything hurts on me. I couldn't hardly get out of bed this morning!
• She might be 30.
• A documentary titled Big Rig on Netflix just reminded me of something people today simply couldn't comprehend: kids riding on the shelf old cars had above and to rear of the rear seat. I used to get up there and lie down and read comics until I crashed out. There is no telling how many times I was launched off there when dad would have to tap the brakes a little hard for some reason.
•  Another crazy flashback: A guy I went to high school with left home and lived with another family who owned a trucking company. Needing an income he started driving a rock truck for them after class and on weekends. What about a CDL you say? What about it? People back then- in those olden times would say- its just a rock truck...

Random Ancestors

William Grover Glass (son of Hiram M Glass and Mary) and Alta Ann Patterson (dau of Howard Morton Patterson and Martha Hogan Davenport Patterson) They married 7 Oct 1923

chocolate pudding

Monday's Missives

• My heating pad is not hot enough. It occurred to me recently (today is 04/17/2016 @0126) I need one one that was the subject of a recall to sleep on- one that I probably should not go to sleep on; you know- one like mom put under me... Wait a sec- why would a mom put a little kid on a heating pad? Onstenisibly it wasn't for a bad back. Was it for chills when I had the flu?
• It is pouring rain.
• Some day I am going to hollow a book out to hold a pistol as I have always thought that would be cool.
• The other day I read about a guy who made a real pistol out of a Nintendo Duck Hunt game controller pistol. Cool. Asenine.
• If money were no object of course there would be cars but it would be several- not dozens. My weaknesses would still as I have mentioned before be watches but I would probably also add guns to the list.
• Really- if my budget was unlimited I might break it buying examples of those items.
• This morning (today is 07/19/2016) I restarted the great war movie Fury.
• This month has flown by- Tempus fugit.
• Lay Lady Lay across my big brass bed.

My War Shovel

I call it War Shovel.

It was actually issued to me in 1993 so it was a baby. I carried it with me until the Army tired of me in 2007 and kicked me to the curb. Ames supplied shovels to Revolutionary War soldiers and by the late 1800s was making 60% of shovels used by the world.

Monday's Missives

• I like that in my chosen career if I make too big a mistake (or a series of too many small ones) people for whom I am responsible may die. It keeps my ninja skills sharp and gives me focus. I also like that in the present setting I work- it would be fairly hard to kill any body.
• People I know like for me to hang out with them and their friends because I can be interesting and funny. They hate it though, that sometimes I have to warm to the other people until I sense I know my audience- otherwise I might clam up and be nothing more than a pretty face.
• Gia Phu on Berry in Funkytown has awesome lemon grass chicken. Also cool- they put a lime slice in your water instead of lemon.
• Zy Fuh-eew; the closest most non Vietnamese people would come to pronouncing Gia Phu.
• Recently I almost had to defer a small purchase as all I had in my wallet were 100 dollar bills. A nice problem to have- but one that for long times in my life I could have never guessed I would ever have.
• The new Tarzan movie looks terrible.
• This morning (today is 06/23/2016) I awakened my offspring to start our day. I left them and came back- they were still in bed. Ones room looked like homeless squatters thought it would be best to clear the room before they moved in with a hand grenade. One child attempted to walk out without brushing either teeth or hair. They reported they did not have sunscreen for the field trip with day care. (I have already bought 3 bottles this year at 4 dollars a pop and June is not over). When we got to the truck, we found that one of them had left a container of watermelon on the ground yesterday evening after grocery shopping. Eldest kid brought it up into the truck and placed it in her lap. I told her as we drove around to the dumpster- regardless of product it is not a good idea to put it in your lap if it could leak. She held it up and said, Too late. When I stopped at the dumpster to throw my 5 dollars worth of leaky watermelon in the garbage I picked it up off the floor and held it up to her to take and throw out. Predictably, the water then started gushing out onto my carpet, upholstery and somehow my lunch. I hollered at her to get it out of my truck.
• Things then went downhill from there.
• It is either going to be the worst day in the history of ever or I got all the bad out of the way.
• How is your day so far?

Wednesday's Digressions

• A new suit is on my list. The last time I wore a suit was to my moms funeral. It is dated and would not fit anyway as I have a bit of a root beer belly and some minor love handles to lose.
• As late as 10 years out of high school my waist size was just nearly the same and in fact- I was still wearing pants I bought in my first of year of college life.
• Nothing makes me feel more lonely than being a little lonely and having my mom cross my mind. It is like getting hit by a bus- a lonely bus at one in the morning. It has one burned out headlight and as it it glides past there are not even any friendly faces looking out to brighten my mood- only anonymous and vaguely threating silhouettes.
• It is 0502 on 06/19/2016 and I am already doing laundry to try to beat the heat. It isn't working.
• Once, when I conferring with one of my ex wives regarding custodial arrangements of children with whom we share parentage I accidentally used 24 hour time; consequently, she has used it ever since in our communiques.
• Sometimes when I hear about some person being abused  while in police custody I want to scream, Stop. Breaking. The. Law. Jackass!
• No, I know it isn't always that simple but often- I am very sure it is just that simple.
• As late as the beginning of the 1900s scoundrel, rascal and pimp were such vile insults the use of them could get you killed and as a matter of fact- the first person William Bonney (AKA Billy The Kid) killed had made the mistake of calling him a pimp.

Monday's Missives

• This morning started where I had previously left off trying to slog my way through 2012. The hope was it would be a good disaster movie even though the premise of the world ending as predicted by the Mayans is ridiculous. My mind is still open but it is pretty bad so far.
• Although I get where these days God and POTUS in movies or on TV has to be black; Danny Glover was a terrible choice in that movie for President.
• He was great as Deets in Lonesome Dove though.
• Are Boeing bombs real?
• On two different occasions recently different people have said to the effect, What did you think was gonna happen- we were going to get together and sing Kumbaya?! Who sings Kumbaya? I haven't heard it in 40 years.
• The stage at the recent Bankhead celebration on the square in Weatherford did not have even a hint of shade.
• Little League is expensive. I have spent 200 dollars already (while trying to do it on the cheap) and Zac's mom has spent some money as well and we had some stuff already laying around.
• This morning (today is 10/07/2016) I dreamed I was cleaning the kitchen sink drain out with a straightened out clothes hanger that I had formed a hook in the end. The drain was clogged with round balls of steel wool which I pulled out one after another. It was hyper realistic.
• Perfect Man by Buffalo Fuzz

Thursday's Thoughts

I wanna party with these guys!

• For the past few days there has been a late model Ford pickup on the side of the road with a lawn mower and string trimmer positioned tantalizingly over the tailgate. Today (08/19/2016) it was moved a mile or so down and pulled well off the road and the hood was left up. My first thought was that it was some kind of bait vehicle as there was no way a guy would leave his tools in it like that- even if he had to walk with them when the truck broke down. Seeing it repositioned this morning confirmed my suspicions.
• Yesterday I left the office early. This morning when I walked into the office there was work left for me in my chair marked IMPORTANT! It had filtered through 3 other people and nearly 12 hours of time to get to me. Two of said previous people are more more qualified to handle the issue and it is closer to be being the job of one more than me.
• They will miss me when I am gone.
• Yesterday there was a presumed dead body on the Insterstate covered with a sheet. I don't know if they were a pedestrian, ejected from a vehicle or were riding a motorcycle or what. I have tried to find out the who, what and why without success.
• High performance and/or customized semi tractors have always interested me and I have thought them cool since I was a kid.
• Once on a road trip we got stranded in the middle of nowhere when one of dad's crappy cars broke down. It was about a billion degrees. We waited a long time before a guy in a real pretty  new Peterbilt pulled over and gave us a ride. It was worth all the suffering as far as I was concerned and was one of the cooler things that had happened to me up to that point in my young life.

Wednesday's Digressions

• I am nearly sure she is wrong but today a State Park Ranger told me you can develop an immunity to poison ivy. Actually, I am nearly sure the opposite is true- many people are not intitially sensitive to it and only break out after some sensitization to the active component of the oil produced by the plant. I have engaged in  conversation about this subject with doctors, physicians assistants, E.D. nurses and Army medics who all confirm the way it works is- your body tolerates it up to a point- then it responds.
• Barry has mentioned before a doctor not being able to truly know for certain that what they're saying as they provide expert testimony is absolutely true and he is correct. Whether it is testifying to what a person could or could not do in a certain state of impairment or how a person died- there are things they cannot know. Good luck getting anybody to believe it though.
• BRMC Spread Your Love live in London
• Ikea uses 1% of the worlds supply of harvested wood every year. I may be the only person who has never been to an Ikea store or ordered any of their products online.
• Another one of those things that doesn't happen or at best doesn't happen like you think it does- LSD induced psychosis. At best, it happens to people predisposed to a mental breakdown and then- maybe. The crazy thing?  As recreational drugs go and especially considering how long it has been used and the staggering number of people who regularly use it- it is pretty safe and side affects are rare.
• I am not advocating its use- you oughta wonder though why we believe so many lies about recreational drug use.
• My children eat fruits and vegetables like they're going out of style.
• Domestic cats are not mentioned in the Bible.

Monday's Missives

• Recently a lady in a brand new Benz was all over me when I would come to a stop in traffic. She nearly rear ended me multiple times- honestly, I do not know how she avoided hitting me on at least two of them. Predictably, she was doing her make-up while also talking on a **&$%^ cel phone. Initially, I drove further ahead watching in front of me for 4-5 vehicles for them to hit their brakes; then I would tap mine and slow down. I also began tapping the pedal multiple times to activate my brake lights and get her attention but then I had an epiphany: If she wants her children's children to be forced to come and sign their paychecks every Friday over to my grandchildren- cool. It was a zen moment. She can hit me- I'll never work again.
• The Texas Law Hawk is my man. I don't care if DWI defense is is thing- he might bring bikini babes and little people into the court room and you know every time he made a point the red tail hawk on his shoulder would screech for justice.
• I mean- he has a hawk and he is The Texas Law Hawk- your argument is invalid.
• I always misspell acquaintance and epiphany.
• A friendly acquaintance recently told me she was on the Jerry Springer show. If there is any doubt in your mind that will affect how you view a person- take it from me -it will. You simply cannot unknow information like that.
• Oh you ask for proof? Oh, I am sorry- imagine my embarrassment- she showed us video evidence in the form of a show clip.
• Recently while sitting in the stands at a baseball game my GF called me on ex wife's cel phone. The ex handed the phone off to me without answering or commenting except to say, Oh, here its for you.
• How WT is that?!
• McDonald's McGriddles are nasty.

Wednesday's Digressions

• Last night (08/29/2016) I had dinner with one of my oldest nursing friends.
• I had brisket sausage, pulled pork and ribs.
• My stomach reignited just writing that sentence.
• That was the first time I had ever had brisket sausage. I assure you it won't be the last.
• We made each other laugh like crazy. Honestly- my cheeks are still hurting.
• He quoted the great movie Johnny Dangerously. Although I have known him for over 20 years we had never discussed that movie and although we had each not seen it for years we had rewatched it within weeks of each other.
• Part of the conversation was about how patients lie, what they lie about and the distinction of lies people will tell based on their races and backgrounds. While telling stories based on our experiences we acted out the parts of patients, affecting mannerisms and accents based on the backgrounds etc. of the patient.
• It was hilarious.
• Maybe you had to be there.
• Everybody lies. How true is this? As a nurse, to be close to correct in your assessment and provide good intervention and education to a patient- if something is good for you divide the number by half of what the patient tells you. If something is bad for you multiple the number they report by 3 or even 5 to get a more accurate picture of what is going on.
• When I thought about how old of a friend the above mentioned friend is it occurred to me I was friends with him for some years before his youngest daughter was born. She has recently started college. When I said, Wow, I remember when she was born!  He said, Yep- tempus fugit, tempus fugit...
• Time flies indeed.

Wednesday's Digressions

• Zac scored a run yesterday (09/29/2016). He rounded first and as he did, the first baseman dropped the ball. I shouted, Run Zac! Go to second! He kept going to second. The second baseman missed the ball so we again urged Zac on to third. He must have been feeling good about things- as he just kept going. As he passed third headed home I think I said something like, Omigawd- he is not going to stop! but I am not sure- I think I kind of blacked out from happiness.
• When people say, I you can't do the time dont do the crime! regarding complaints from a prisoner about their treatment they demonstrate a possibly very missplaced assumption the prisoner was guilty in the first place.
• People who are nominally Christians seem especially hardcore in their view of caged people. Their attitudes are directly in opposition to all of Jesus' teaching- I mean come on- he specifically commanded followers to visit prisoners.
• When I was young even us screw ups knew we were not going to be screw ups forever. We had some encouragement toward doing better though as being a screw up was not applauded and rewarded with money and girls like it is today (the kinda opposite was understood going to be true).
• A friend is probably going to be famous in her chosen field.
• Crocs shoes are disgusting and pointless.
• To buy a baseball or softball bat worth anything to ballers these days it seems like you need to spend at least two or three hundred dollars (and it might be replaced in a year) but 50 bucks will still buy all the glove you could ever want and will be kept for years.
• There are some lessons about technology in the previous observation but also some psychology.
• I have never drunk Ethiopian coffee.

Proverbially Speaking

"Do not insult the mother alligator until after you have crossed the river."

-- Haitian Proverb

Monday's Missives

• Huitlacoche is good. I eat it- I like it but when you see it in a restaurant they church it up by calling it a truffle. Ask what it is and the server will tell you, It is a mushroom that grows on corn. It is in the same kingdom as mushroom- fungi but that is where similarities end. It is a smut that infects corn with spores. 
• Who would eat it if they knew it was a disease and it was openly offered as, "Corn Smut Quesadillas"? 
• We fed grasshoppers and our used gum to harvester ants last (09/16/2016) night at Holland Lake.
• We are going to the Indian Pow Wow at Traders Village today. 
• I am rereading Empire Of The Summer Moon. This will be at least the third and maybe fourth time I have read it this year. It is a great book about my favorite Indian (Quanah Parker), a favorite tribe (Comanche) and a favorite time period in US history- the 1860s in general and Plains Indian War period in particular. 
• There are multiple mind blowing trivia things regarding Blazing Saddles but my first two biggies would be that John Wayne was offered the role of Waco Kid but declined as it would be too blue for his image. The second bit of trivia that always makes me say, Wow when I remember it or see it in print is that Gig Young was actually cast in the  role but was fired after he collapsed on the set secondary to alcohol withdrawal (or being blind drunk- depending on which source you want to believe).
• I have no hate in my heart but medically there is something dreadfully wrong with Hilary Clinton.

Friday Evening Dispatch

• Today (07/30/2016) we went to Chickasaw Nation Cultural Center. Zac danced with the dancers during the Snake and Four Corners dances. That was pretty cool to see.
• We are staying at the lodge at Lake Murray SP. I foolishly walked across an asphalt parking lot to go to the pool without shoes. While I did not complete my asphalt degree I do seem to recall from my course work that on a 100 degree day the black surface of asphalt pavement heats to about a billion degrees. Consequently, I have a blister across the ball of my right foot that is epic.
• I need new sandals is one of the take aways of the previous thought.
• I might be imbecilic might be another- but we won't talk about that.
• The pool was not nearly as crowded as I anticipated.
• The food here in the lodge is adequate. It keeps you from driving into town, makes you not hungry and is better than having a stick poked in your eye-but it is not great.
• The marina here rents boats. About the only thing scarier than owning a boat would be renting one (which sounds terrifying to me).
• There is a family here for a reunion that I am sure is from Weatherford. If I had a guess where I had seen them from I would approach the patriarch (who looks most familiar).
• Man my feet hurt.
• Last night before bed Zac came out of shower and said, Dad I saw a lizard. It went down the drain! I went and looked but saw nothing. Although he is a good observer and not prone to lying it would be easy to wonder, Did he see a piece of vaguely lizard looking lint or...? It is 0317 on 07/31/2016 and I am sitting in the parlor of the lodge with the night clerk as she takes her break. I awoke at this ungodly hour because when I turned in bed a book flipped off onto the floor startling me. I got up at this ungodly hour to pee. I am still up at this ungodly hour because I had to take the Mediterranean gecko which I caught in the shower outside. 
• She is watching Homicide Life On The Street. 
• The clerk I mean, not the gecko.
• Last night we chatted with the maintenance guy who was holding a radio in his hand. Zac said, At first I thought it was a gun, then a knife. Then I realized it is just one of those walkie talkie things.
• What a world we have created for our kids.
• Zac asked if I could live here in the lodge. The answer would be sure but it would be better to be in the new one they are building right on the edge of the lake. This one is kinda beaten down.
• The server at breakfast this morning was sweaty.
• The 2 old guys at the table behind me are talking about Lyster bags which were bags used by the military to hold water. They resembled a duffle and were made of the same canvas material. They had spigots around the bottom that you drew water from. They would leak like mad until the material swelled- then they held pretty well. If your unit was squared away they would drop a block of ice in the bag for you.  I can taste canvas as plain as day just hearing my elderly neighbors speak.
• Today is 07/31/2016 and we are back at the Chickasaw Recreation Area. I am sitting beside an Indian guy from OKC at Little Niagara swimming hole. We have exchanged pleasantries, jibes and travel tips. Although I don't know his name I picture it being Tommy Redcloud and he is my only Indian friend. His girlfriend has an old English accent. No, I don't mean old as in Olde and before Middle English- just that she is from England and has been here long enough she has lost most of her accent. She also has a small black eye I presume Tommy gave her several days ago. She is pretty and he is what they used to call ruggedly handsome. They are madly in love.
• Zac is talking to a woman who is covered in tattoos. She she just laughed at something he said and put her hand on his shoulder.
• Somebody hollered, Snake! and everyone bailed out of the swimming hole like magic. It was a garter snake. I tried to catch him as other guys have stated their intention to kill him. I wanted to rescue him and Zac to be the one to carry him to safety. Mr. Snake was too wily and elusive for me though and slipped off into the nearby bushes. The kids surrounding the pool looked at me like I was crazy as I tried to catch him. They looked at me like I was insane when I said the snake would not hurt them and they could get back in. It took me diving into the water to get everybody back in.
• It seems like the water would be too cold for a snake but I also seem to recall garter snakes being very cold tolerant- although I might be making that up.
• The water smells mineral-ie and makes your skin feel  super soft.
• We moved to another pool. Zac spoke to 2 adult white guys for several minutes. As they left him one offered his hand and said, Well, it was good to meet you Zac. I'll see you later.
• Mexican guys, bro-douche white guys and lesbians like being seen walking pit bull dogs.
• Lesbians often have boy children with pierced ears and girl children who are butched up.
• Kevin those are racist, xenophobic and homophobic statements! you scream at me.
• No, those are observations based on things I saw at Chickasaw NRA and many other places.
• Goodnight world wherever you are.
• I love you in spite of yourself.

The Last E Mail I Received

Muchas gracias. Tu espanol es buenisimo. I love it !!

Friday's Dispatch

• Recently (today is 08/30/2016) I saw a Fort Worth PD car that was displaying an upside down American flag above the windshield.
• Easy there tiger. Calm down. It will be OK.
• Malcolm X had to me a pleasant speaking voice.
• I am listening to this as I write.
• Last night over dinner my friend quoted Johhny Dangerously multiple times- a movie we had never discussed even though I have known him 20+ years. Interestingly, we had rewatched it weeks or maybe a few months apart for the first each in 10-15 or even more years. My cheeks still hurt from laughing.
• I had brisket sausage for the first time in my life. It won't be the last though.
• You could not force me at gunpoint to be a cop- a profession I once considered seriously enough to get some college credits toward a CJ degree.
• George Armstrong Custer's family would have called him Armstrong except for his own mispronunciation of the name when he was a little boy.
• They called him Autie. 
• Somebody I have to deal with on a near daily basis is demonstrably a malignant narcissist- as in a by the book, line by line, check the boxes malignant narcissist psychopath. 
• George Goodfellow was an interesting character

Wednesday's Digressions

• My Asian Buddhist mentor has commented on our Presidential choices by saying, You can take your pick. It is your choice- you can either have a heart attack or get cancer...
• Recently  a politician caught some flak for not knowing where Allepo is and why it is important now. That is nearly unbelievable. Even a putz like me knows: it is one of the oldest continually inhabited cities in the world (Shakespeare mentioned it in at least one play). It was the largest in Syria. Now IS controls half and the Syrian government control the other.
• Those facts are all I know but I know them and it is not my job to know anything about the place.
• The Resident Evil movies are really, really good.
• Recently I rewatched I Am Legend. It is way better than I thought I remembered it to be.
• At dinner recently because of a servers heavy accent I inadvertently replied to her and made part of my order in Spanish.
• A friend after visiting Mexico left her bags in a taxi losing all the souvenirs she brought back for us- except for the tiny leather cowboy hat with my name burned on the brim. We took that as a sign.
• A sign of what- we don't know.
• Friend always comes out as frined for me these days and these always comes out theses. God- yes even then it came out theses-all 3 times.
• It is all downhill from here folks.
• Recently I caught somebody watching pron at work.
• Ridiculous.

Monday's Missives

• Last night (today is 07/16/2016 @0503) I dreamt I visited a factory that made sleeping bags that used body bags for covers. My eldest son worked there and helped design them.
• The official name for a body bag is Pouch: Human Remains. They come in boxes of ten. An old friend would swear that one of his Army units issued everybody one and soldiers had to carry it in their rucksacks in case they became casualties.  In Iraq we carried reflective burn blankets that were to do double duty- burned people would of course be wrapped in them to treat for shock but dead folks could also be rolled up and then the roll would be secured with 100mph tape.
• My first encounter with body bags was helping move some stuff around in the supply room of K Troop 3/11 ACR in Bad Hersfeld Germany. The boxes were big but did not weigh as much as intuitively one would guess for their size so it made us read the label on the side of box.
• Pouch: Human Remains 10 ea.
• This morning I was the first commenter on a Youchoobs video. I do not think that has ever happened to me before.
• For some reason I recently took note of the average cost to build a pool in my area. It was cheaper than I thought it would be by about half - it is rare for me to get something like that so wrong.
• I awoke this morning thinking about grilled shrimp and steak.
• Two patients- one a male the other female whom we know live together refer to each other by turns as brother and sister, boyfriend and girlfriend and husband and wife. Good grief, you wild and crazy kids- get your stories straight. 
• Regardless of any other consideration- they think everybody else in the world is as stupid as they themselves are.
• The overnight forecast calls for humidity to be nearly 80%. How can that be so without it pouring rain? I mean come on universe!
• There are tons of bookmarks on my tablet and I make new favorites frequently but I have never referred back to any of them- ever.
• Russian TOS 1A MLRS in action. Wow.

Thursday's Thoughts

• Two guys in the pool (07/13/2016 @1814) are quoting Toy Story. One of the guys girlfriend is probably of age but man- she looks more like 13 or maybe 15 and he looks way older than he probably is.
• That makes for an unsettling combination.
• The other day somebody told me about a tattoo a family member has that is a cowboy superimposed over an American Indian. They acted like it was the coolest thing ever. It sounded retarded.
• Today (07/16/2016) I had a very mediocre burger at Logan's
• Today is 08/05/2026 and me and Zac are at the pool. There is a guy I see all the time here. He is with a new girlfriend. Her head is too small for her body. It is freaking me out a little. 
• Another guy whom I interact with often and would call a friendly aquaintance is here with his new girlfriend. He is a stud and while quite nice and funny she is older and a bit of a sapphire type. They seem very mismatched.
• If I had it all to do over again I would have been a firefighter.
• Did you bring alcohol? Cuz you're gonna need it over here! What one of the wits said to a newcomer to the pool.
• After Zacs flesh mother dropped him off I saw she bumped into my ex girlfriend on the way out. They chatted for an easy 15 minutes.
• So, that is not terrifying at all...
• Sometime when I clear my history it logs me out of Gmail and other times it does not and it does this (or does not) without me changing settings. As a matter of fact- these inconsistencies will happen multiple times on the same day with the same device.
• An interesting two view video of a VBIED attack in iraq- one from an IS camera and one from an Iraqi soldier.

Politics- As Usual

• Some smart, well informed people believe war (at least naval and air to air) with China is inevitable. They are probably correct. Out first mistake with China was selling our souls to the Devil by allowing them to finance our crazy with loans. Then we let them outmaneuver us everywhere that has water that arguably comes back to their shores and finally- we let them outsmart us in regards to Russia; as every day their ties to each other grow and our relationship with Russia deteoriates.
• Recently a homeless person came into our clinic to be screened for shelter clearance. She was wearing a C spine brace also known as a halo. If she had no home she should have been in a nursing home. Instead, she was riding a bus and being jostled around while she jumped through hoops to be allowed a bed in a warehouse. This was happening while we are importing into this country more poor people than the rest of the world combined- poor people who will get medicaid, housing and yes- Social Security benefits if they are disabled.
• We are crazy.
• For the most part I presumed people who were screaming about Hilary's health obviously had their own toxic agenda and were maybe even straight up lying but wow- that video of her fainting at that 911 memorial looked bad. People can randomly get a pneumonia but they should not randomly get a pneumonia (presuming that is what she had and is all she had). You have to consider- what was the underlying cause?
• I could be convinced she has Parkinson's but regardless something is up- she doesn't even look right.
• On the 10th of September I was asked to hang out with somebody the next day as they did not want to be alone. I cannot think like that if for no other reason than reliving horrible moments like that doesn't allow for healing. Our brains are notoriously bad at deciding what is real and what is not and what was then and what is now and I did not want to be stuck watching replays of that day.
• Yesterday I saw a an article with the headline to the effect of, "Air Force general unsure of what US response will be after North Korean nuclear bomb tests." My first response was, Um, probably what we always do- walk around in circles with one thumb up our butts the other in our mouth while meowing the Meow Mix jingle and then we back a dump truck full of money up to Kim Jong Un's palace?!
• We have a minimum age for President but no maximum.
• You can say what you want about your most beloved aged historical figure or your sainted granny but an 80 year old brain does not function like a 50.
• Recently I saw a picture of President Obama and Vlad Putin meeting at some summit or whatever. President Obama looked like he was going to terror-vomit.

Saturday's Soliloquy

• To be filed underI may not know much: It may not be time to leave if a woman you are with makes it known to all her friends when she is mad at you but if she starts furiously texting away to tell people how bad you are every time she is mad at you - it is a big problem that will only get worse. Again, it may not be time to leave- but it is time to take care of yo business homes.
• You can look it up if you want but Washington's decision to inoculate his troops against smallpox has been considered a decisive factor for the Continentals winning the US Revolutionary War. They went from losing more guys to the pox than from battle to losing nearly none to the disease.
• Recently (today is 02/12/2015) I heard that an area nursing school still requires students to wear white scrubs and the cap during clinicals. I have a tough time buying they would still hobble their students like that but it made me think first of all and foremost: If they do still require those practices- what else do they get wrong?
• I think I got some bad scoop from nursing underworld buddy- they can't do that anymore- right?!
• This morning (02/13/2015) I warmed a turnover in the microwave. After 7 seconds it was no warmer to touch than when it went into the machine. After returning it to the oven for 5 more seconds it was too hot to touch much less eat. That makes no sense to me. What manner of witchery is that?
• This morning (02/17/2015) on the way to work a small car passed me with a Ford F150 tailgating it not more than 3 feet away. They were going at least 80 miles per hour.
• Crazy

Today Is The First Day Of Fall (so called) And The High Will Be 96 Degrees. The Humidity Is 77% As I Write This

Kill Me

The Label Lies,

if it was Fun Size- it would weigh 3 pounds. Interestingly, I poured several of them out of my jacket pocket and this one landed on the junk mail with the guy looking up at it like that.

Pre Brazos Float Trip Talk- A Brazos Float Trip That Is Now A Long Ago Pleasant Memory

The Brazos float trip is still a go but with a weird twist. The conversation went like this:

Woman with whom I have lately been spending time: Yeah it is still on.
Me: Good, I'll pick up some food.
WwwIhbst: They want hot dogs.
Me: Huh?! Wait, what? I can make some Mountain Pantry chicken fettucine with a can or two of green beans and some asparagus in half a jiff.
WwwIhbst: They want dogs
 Me: That makes no sense. There are condiments, multiple ingredients... a lot of trouble. Special storage and handling etc- to eat garbage. When we could carry paper plates and after we eat some good food throw the whole mess in the fire and pack out the two non flammable packages.
 WwwIhbst: Its fun.
Me: It is garbage- snake anus' mongoose lips llama vulvas... it is garbage.
WwwIhbst: It is fun.

That settles it I guess- it is fun.

Friday's Dispatch

• I just (it is 1853 on 09/03/2016) got bit by what looked a baby jumping  spider. It burned like mad. I better get some serious superpowers out of the deal.
• Zac registered for Little League today.
• Countdown to phone call begging me to coach  3,2,1...
• The water is alreafy chilly in the pool.
• Alreafy?
• Dinner at Sake last night was great. They have added bean sprouts to their vegetables.
• Saying vegetables sounds pretentious but saying veggies sounds ridiculous.
• On a reality tv show I watched for a few minutes earlier today a business name was incorrectly punctuated.
• Stranger Things continues to be great (I just finished episode #5) but I could see it jumping the shark and I do not know why I feel that way.
• It is staying dark longer in the morning.
• Aside from passing through and getting gasoline It has been over 10 years since I have been to Denton.
• The new Jerry Lewis movie Max Rose looks great.

Thursday's Thoughts

• This morning (02/10/2016) on NPR Sam Baker said after a dramatic musical bump to the effect, Bernie Sanders convincingly beat Hilary Rodham Clinton in the New Hampshire primary. This was followed by a Bernie Sanders sound bite from the primary. A moment later Baker said something like, Finally, on the other side Donald Trump won the nomination. and then nothing- no sound bite or quote from Trump. You could practically hear Baker's eyes rolling.
• You would have to very intellectually dishonest to not see NPR's left leaning.
• I personally know 2 different people who only voted for David Walker for sheriff as he door knocked their homes and spoke to them while campaigning. One of them was thinking about another guy as he had heard something good about him and the other did not care at all about the sheriff's office (although he felt highly invested in other positions and was a well informed voter).
• The snails have made my aquarium water so clear it is almost distracting.
• If cost was no object what is the one thing you would leave as a legacy, that thing your descendants would rememember for generations? For me it would  be to have an amazing library of rare, old, autographed or otherwise worthwhile books. This might even include a Guiness book of World Records collection of autographed works.
• Isn't there a guy/group who own a Bible signed by tons of famous people including multiple Presidents and astronauts?
• A suicide bomb truck AKA vehicle borne IED destroyed by Javelin missile.
• I have books autographed by David Mcolluch, Nguyen Cao Ky and another Vietnamese general whose name I don't recall at the moment. Why the Vietnamese authors you ask? One of my friends is a part of the once South Vietnamese military now a resident of the US underworld Vietnam dudes who personally know Vietnamese authors club.
• Yeah- it is a thing. Look it up.

New Gear From Atop The Mighty Steamer Trunk

The stuff sack for my down bag is dual purpose. For storage you allow it to fluff out into the mesh part so the down doesn't get unduly compacted. For travel, you push it down into the sack part to compress it. I believe an engineer might call this an elegant design. The bag itself is an REI Helios 55 degree which I got on sale and used a discount code to buy. If you buy the long bag in most any brand you normally won't hate yourself. That way you have room to readjust for comfort and wear more clothes or even use a liner in cold weather. If you always buy down bags the extra weight and bulk of the long size won't amount to much.

Wednesday's Digressions

• Last night ( today is 05/21/2016) I had a super realistic dream in which I caught a wild turkey. It had a strange, strong smell. I can still smell it. 
• Two male mockingbirds are fighting like mad on the the other side of the fence. 
• Recently I have been seeing a lot of very light colored Eurasian collared doves (there are 2 on the fountain as I write this which are nearly white). Whether nature has selectively changed their coloring or it was done by humans before they became feral I do not know- but they are different.
• Day before yesterday a nursing buddy returned to work after a surgery. She was not able to tie her shoes before leaving home. I tied them for her. She is hot but I would have done it for were she a pig; as I am nice and she is nice. Nice people should watch out for each other.
• While I know a little about why she had the surgery and what was done; I do not know why she is required to use an inflatable doughnut when sitting for extended periods. She held it up and said, Nice huh? Well, no one could pull off an inflatable doughnut like you! You still got it going on.  I replied playfully.
• Bloody Kisses is still one of my favorite album names.
• One of my friends has done karaoke only twice in his life. He and his friend's wife once did Afternoon Delight and on another occasion performed Crazy. For some reason that was hilarious to me and as he recounted those times I laughed like crazy.
• Recently, I heard a friendly aquaintance from another country use the word, negro in a sentence. Was she being racist or at best horribly insensitive? Nope- in context she was speaking of a time long ago and she was really not sure where the person she was speaking of was from.  She actually caught herself in mid word using the term, African and searching her bilingual mental database came to the unfortunate term, negro instead of, black.

Brunch Drunk Love

Guess where I am at in these pics and win a prize- or probably not- I make lots of promises I won't keep.



Mimosa: An alcoholic drink specifically created so middle and upper class white ladies can start drinking at 10 in the morning and not feel like such a wino.



 

For Some Reason

when I realised the truck depicted in these warning signs is an old timey fire truck instead of a modern representation it became so interesting as to be almost distracting- I couldn not unsee it and still look when I see one at distance to see if they have been updated in any way.

Meet My Great Grandfather

His name was Howard Morton and is the grown male sitting in that pack of kids, staring you down like you owe him money. He was born in Casey County  Kentucky and died in Petrolia Texas at the age of 73 in 1941. Other than those facts I know nothing. He looked grumpy.

Monday's Missives

Piece of plastic found in my Panda Express teriyaki chicken, Mmmm... plastic-ie.

There is a lot going there for a sticker I found on a banana. It looks vaguely comminist. I don't trust it.

My patients love me.

• Recently through an odd, and tortuous route I was reminded of an old girlfriend. She is a very gifted salesperson. A component to the story is I was reminded of a  product she marketed by seeing part of a dumb unrelated infomercial and using that as a basis for a little online stalking got back in touch with her by Email.
• She was glad to hear from me ( she even mentioned recently trying to contact me by an old cel number) but isn't it a little weird you can randomly stalk people like that these days?
• A connected thought: I haven't had that cel number in years- how could it not have been taken by somebody else by now?
• Another connected thought: I hadn't spoken to that woman in a few years and hadn't even thought of her in a long time and within 2 weeks of thinking of her and attempting a contact she did the same for me?!

  

  Green mamba some idiot collector released or rough green snake?!

  
  

  

  Hmmmm...

  
  

  

  Still smiling 5 minutes after being bitten- probably rough green snake.

  
  
  
  
  

  

  Baby eagle found on the ground after a storm. I call him Popeye as apparently fire ants found him before I did and ate his eyeball. He keeps the rat and squirrel population down around my place.

• PS the above child was not bitten by the snake and that is not an eagle named Popeye who feasts on rats and squirrels around my house.
• I call him Murica!
• Normally I have my children on Wednesday nights but won't tonight as their mother and I traded some days around. I am simultaneously relieved I don't have them and ashamed for feeling that way.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  

  My kids are good fishers

  
  
  
  
• A black friendly acquaintance is aware that my children are pretty widely separated by age and has heard me during the course of conversations mention my adopted child's mother (without mentioning said child is adopted). Consequently, she has gotten it in her head that they all have different mothers and says things to me that start with, Do any of you baby mamas ever...?

  

  My children have played chess against John Malkovich

• As of this writing (09/09/2015) I recently was asked by a woman with whom I have been spending time (WWWIHBST) the number of sex partners I have  had throughout my young life. When I told her the number she reacted with shock that bordered on disgust. Some things are none of your business and if you don't get the answer you were looking for- why did you ask in the first place?

  

  Aside from being a bowling ball with glass baubles glued to it I don't know what this is but yeah- we live in  world where a bowling ball with glass baubles glued to it would absolutely be stolen from the Botanic Gardens in Fort Worth were it not chained and padlocked to the ground.

• So exactly who are, Richard Stoltzman, Bob Acri and Mr. Scruff anyway?