Monday, October 17, 2016

Monday's Missives

Image result for testicle cancer meme
  • Recently a lady in a brand new Benz was all over me when I would come to a stop in traffic. She nearly rear ended me multiple times- honestly, I do not know how she avoided hitting me on at least two of them. Predictably, she was doing her make-up while also talking on a **&$%^ cel phone. Initially, I drove further ahead watching in front of me for 4-5 vehicles for them to hit their brakes; then I would tap mine and slow down. I also began tapping the pedal multiple times to activate my brake lights and get her attention but then I had an epiphany: If she wants her children's children to be forced to come and sign their paychecks every Friday over to my grandchildren- cool. It was a zen moment. She can hit me- I'll never work again.
  • The Texas Law Hawk is my man. I don't care if DWI defense is is thing- he might bring bikini babes and little people into the court room and you know every time he made a point the red tail hawk on his shoulder would screech for justice.
  • I mean- he has a hawk and he is The Texas Law Hawk- your argument is invalid.
  • I always misspell acquaintance and epiphany.
  • A friendly acquaintance recently told me she was on the Jerry Springer show. If there is any doubt in your mind that will affect how you view a person- take it from me -it will. You simply cannot unknow information like that.
  • Oh you ask for proof? Oh, I am sorry- imagine my embarrassment- she showed us video evidence in the form of a show clip.
  • Recently while sitting in the stands at a baseball game my GF called me on ex wife's cel phone. The ex handed the phone off to me without answering or commenting except to say, Oh, here its for you.
  • How WT is that?!
  • McDonald's McGriddles are nasty.

2 comments:

The Donald said...

Re: The picture.

A 20-something co-worker recently had one removed as treatment for TC. He is a very good sport and soldiers on with dark humor about it, which the rest of us oblige.

We had a ping pong ball in a drawer, and sometimes would open the drawer to ask "Need a spare?" Lest anyone think we're being cruel, he is often the one to initiate similar jests.

TommyBoy said...

I don't even want to think about that.