Bumper Sticker Madness

Idea from Ms Obi one

Monday's Missives

• My heating pad is not hot enough. It occurred to me recently (today is 04/17/2016 @0126) I need one one that was the subject of a recall to sleep on- one that I probably should not go to sleep on; you know- one like mom put under me... Wait a sec- why would a mom put a little kid on a heating pad? Onstenisibly it wasn't for a bad back. Was it for chills when I had the flu?
• It is pouring rain.
• Some day I am going to hollow a book out to hold a pistol as I have always thought that would be cool.
• The other day I read about a guy who made a real pistol out of a Nintendo Duck Hunt game controller pistol. Cool. Asenine.
• If money were no object of course there would be cars but it would be several- not dozens. My weaknesses would still as I have mentioned before be watches but I would probably also add guns to the list.
• Really- if my budget was unlimited I might break it buying examples of those items.
• This morning (today is 07/19/2016) I restarted the great war movie Fury.
• This month has flown by- Tempus fugit.
• Lay Lady Lay across my big brass bed.

Wednesday's Digressions

My idea of a perfect hot rod. The paint color, wheels, tint and ride stance - it is perfect in my book.  Drop a lightly cammed, otherwise stock-ish big block in it with a stout tranny and give me a pocketful of cash for gas and I'd be good to go. Eeeew- I said, "stout tranny."

• The Syrian Civil War a 5 minute primer.
• Like nailing jelly to kittens- my newest expression I use every chance I get when I need to express an impossibility.
• I heard some newer Steven Wright the other day. It was terrible. He got a rousing ovation when some of his previous genius tried to shine through. It was purely polite applause- the audience was embarrassed for him and felt uncomfortable.
• The lovely Lady O reminded me of the turkey drop episode on WKRP In Cincinnati titled Turkeys Away. Interestingly, although the details have been lost in time, ( Was  it a shopping mall in Atlanta or was it a church in Dallas? Were they dropped from a truck or yes, a helicopter? ) it supposedly really happened in real life.

  

  Interesting factoid-  I jacked this from Lady O. If it is true I had no idea.

• On a Saturday in 2060- my Death Clock day of death which at 96 years of age sounds very ambitious and highly unlikely.
• The oldest known joke goes back 2000 years to the Sumerians, "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."
• Potty humor never goes out of style as it has apparently- always been in style.

  

  Found hanging from my office door handle with an Xmas card. 

  
  

  

  An owl pellet. They regurgitate all non digestible matter into this pellet called fittingly an owl pellet so yeah, it is basically mouth poop.

• For some time I have had this idea of making a hammock out of nylon using climbing rope for suspension. I offhandedly mentioned this to a friend having no idea she works part time at Joann Fabrics, meaning an employee discount and access to coupons. She also likes to sew and has a decent machine. She wants to help make some of them (one for each of my children, FG and myself) and doesn't want any  money for the work. If I had to judge that situation from the outside, it obviously would look like I was fishing but honestly I had no idea she worked there on the weekends and some evenings. There is no way I'll let her do it for free but I look forward to seeing if my idea works. It will have a built in shelter and bug net and be cooler than anything you have ever seen in your whole life.

  

  An iconic scene from one of my favorite movies From Here To Eternity. Think of how many times you have seen this still used to prove or illustrate a hundred different things.

Fridays Dispatch- The Early Edition

• My feet are cold- cannot stand that, I'm wearing fuzzy house shoes. I never wear house shoes- fuzzy or otherwise. They were given to my son for Christmas and he outgrew them before he wore them I think.
• He wears size 14 shoes and is not nearly through growing.
• I'm listening to a live recording of Cheap Tricks I Want You To Want Me and singing along. Things can't be all that bad and even if/when they are- try it, I promise it will make it all a little better.
• I've said it before, I'll say it again,"We may have gotten a lot of things wrong in the 80s and early 90s- the music was not one of them."
• Surrender is starting- even better (nearly).
• In my neighborhood it's nothing for my neighbors to check their mail or get something out of their cars in PJs, robes or nightgowns etc.
• Nearly everyone has a 4 wheeler, go kart or golf cart etc. And it seems a relatively large number ride bicycles and walk as families. The long-ish road, friendly neighbors, isolated feel, one acre lots and the pond at the end of the lane has something to do with that I think.
• One of my neighbors used to have parties and they would drag shotguns out and shoot clay birds in their front yard.
• My next door neighbor busts rounds off into his firewood stack occasionally.
• Actually nice that people can exercise their rights and freedoms that openly but, it wasn't very good for me when I first returned from Iraq.
• No, not good.
• The people across the streets dog would come to my house when she smelled breakfast cooking, nose the door open and come in and sit down and wait for her share.
• What are neighbors for I guess?
• No, not a trailer park- average house value would be about 200,000 dollars.
• Before the bubble burst.
• I can be in a sound, exhausted sleep and if the baby wakes up and says,"Daddy" I'm awake and alert and going to him.
• Yes, that's usually the first thing he says when he awakens- humbling, satisfying, terrifying, fulfilling...