Friday's Dispatch

Aye carumba! What the?! I don't even know where to start. Appropriately, it was found under the heading of Greeting Card Fails.

• Headline: Obama set to give a speech on American jobs as he drives around the country in a 1.1 million dollar bus made in Canada...


• Man, we are goofy.


• For what that vehicle is though, that price is not shocking- they could have spent a lot more. Although we shouldn't forget- as with any Presidential vehicle there are at least two.


• Abercrombie And Fitch have made an offer to pay the cast of Jersey Shore for never, ever appearing in public in their clothing line again.


• An old, awful adage I've heard from multiple police friends: "You'll never hear of a law enforcement officer attempting suicide." The first time I heard that one a cop in the group saw a guy with a puzzled look on his face. The cop nodded, stuck his index finger in his mouth like it was a pistol pointed up at the roof of his mouth...


• "Why didn't you just pee in your pants?" Zac's comment after my last trip to the bathroom.


• I'll take that one under advisement.


• I normally do not count my chickens before they're hatched- experience teaches it's bad mojo, but I just got offered a great job. The pay is OK (but guaranteed) benefits are great, hours are mostly routine business with a couple of clinics here and there in a month and it's a good work. I worked there in the past and have always known I'd go back. It won't interfere with my contract work much so I can have a smooth transition and maybe even enjoy each job a little more. I'm stoked.


• Do the cool people say stoked anymore?


• Update: I got the job and have been working for a few days.


• Ruby Throat- In The Arms Of Flowers