You Might Have Had To Be There, But I Thought The Following Text Exchange Kind Of Funny

She: Let's see now, women like to know they are cared about. It is always good to show through your actions, but it also needs to be verbalized. They like to be touched kindly and kissed like they are wanted. We need to know that we are missed and that we are on your mind. Especially when we don't see you for a while. (missing) (missing)

She after no response: Hello?

Me: Yes.

She: No answer?

Me: Text was too long. Most of it was missing. I cleared some of my texts and was waiting to get the rest of it.

She: Well, maybe you don't need unsolicited advice tonight. Maybe this will help a future girlfriend. Goodnight.

Me: Shush- Cow And Chicken is coming on.

She: What!?

She- after no response: You suck.

She: And are gay.

Sometimes I argue with people who think I'm too good to be true, then I see exchanges like the one above and I realize- I'm probably pretty close.