I would replace my car with a sweet ride like this, but the cow would probably die and I like cows- especially when I'm eating them.
- Yesterday Zac's mom called and asked if she could ride in to town with me (we work only blocks apart) since her car was down. Predictably, on the way home my car got a flat tire. Perhaps even more predictably the spare was also flat. As I started taking the offending tire off it started pouring rain.
- The universe likes to jack with me.
- What do we do now? she asked.
- I don't know- want to make out?
- I don't think so- you're dirty and wet.
- That's the way it's supposed to be.
- Yeah, that's the kind of stuff I do.
- Anyway, she posted our predicament on Facebook. Her friend texted her and asked, "Um, what are you doing on the side of the road with your ex husband?"
- Tell her we're making out.
- All I could think on the way back to the car was wouldn't it be great if a semi going a hundred miles an hour just plowed over that stupid car? And the driver is the drunk son of a wealthy trucking company owner? And they pay me 100,000 dollars hush money?
- After we got rolling again we stopped at Playa Maya to eat. Their cowboy enchiladas are great, especially since they're covered in about a quart of cheese sauce.
- I did not dip them in the bowl of cheese sauce we had for the chips to make me feel better.
- But, I was tempted.
- Zac flirted with the waitress. She brought him a ball of tortilla dough to play with. He made what I thought was a frog out of it and then got mad at my perception of his scultpure and wouldn't tell me what it actually was.
- Lots of car fail here, but at 4:20 you'll see me.
I would replace my car with a sweet ride like this, but the cow would probably die and I like cows- especially when I'm eating them.
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8 comments:
This post cracked me the hell up. "You wanna make out?" Freaking awesome, funny funny stuff!!!!
Very Funny! Made me laugh this morning.
You seem to have a fun relationship w/Zac's mom -- that's great. Really...and your day? Dude, I know what you're talking about...the shitz.
Doesn't Goldie Hawn have car trouble in the rain and seek help in the form of ex-Chevy Chase in Seems Like Old Times?
My most recent automotive fail was backing my SUV out of a parking structure opposite the way I'd pulled in - thereby flattening the fender between the driver's door and wheel well on a support post - all while 2 Tarrant Deputies (working with us that day) watched from 2 spaces away (they were not taping/videoing).
Luckily,the damage was isolated to the fender, and I found a primed replacement fender on Craigslist a couple of weeks later for cheap - will install when the weather's warmer, then call Earl Scheib.
If she still trusts you enough to ask you for a lift anywhere, you must be doing something right.
Well played old boy!
FYI.. I stuff an extra large can of Fix-A-Flat in all my vehicles for just such a predicament. Flat spares suck.
AS- Thanks. It was also either crack up there as it was happening or have a stroke.
KC- Hey girl. Im glad you got a giggle.
Kleen- Re: woman formerly known as spouse, sometimes youve just got to get over yourself- you know?
Don- I need to watch that movie. Earl Scheib: The Man.
Lady O- Maybe...
R- Thanks. I need to do better about that- there's new formula types that aren't as harsh on the tire and have higher volume to get the tire up better.
It's a prayer in a can. If it works, who cares?
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