Friday's Dispatch

My purple hatted, one armed, giant, gay snowman is way cooler than your...

• How pervasive is Elvis to US and in fact world culture 30 years after his death? Within 40 hours: There was an ad for new reality show If I Can Dream featuring one of his songs, I read a drug law reform article bearing his image and quotes regarding his offer to be a "special agent" to President Nixon in the drug war, I heard a song of his on Oceans 11 as someone was watching it, I heard one of his songs in the opening scene to The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull and I heard a talk show host mention his name.





• That's a whole lotta Elvis goin' on!





• Whole lotta love: 528 pound Romanian woman gives birth.





• Although I don't often voluntarily feed my children fast food- when we stopped today out of necessity at Sonic I asked Zac what he wanted he said,"Um, chocolate milk and... food?"





• The hit on the Hamas leader in Dubai is still the craziest thing I've read about in a while. Odds are Mossad did it I suppose- but lots of folks wanted that guy dead. A Hollywood writer could not have dreamed that one up I promise you.





• I guess the dog we have now will be the one all of the children remember from their childhood and will die when my oldest son is in college.



• My son got his pig for this years ag animal it's cute as can be it looks like a more show worthy Babe (and delicious).


• Last interview by Larry Fine- he was already stroke affected it appears so must have been shortly before his death.

Thursday's Thoughts

• I simply cannot offer you a better glimpse into what was once the madness of Iraq. How a normal, boring day on a routine mission suddenly becomes outhouse rat crazy and simply surreal. What you'll hear: multiple soldiers firing warning shots. A soldier directing an IP (Iraqi Police) to arrest the guy in the man dress. What you'll see: they finally knee cap the guy driving him down. He pulls a grenade- it explodes. They shoot him eleventy hundred more times.



• Some great footage from Vietnam featuring Super 8 film from a US Major. Beautiful aerial shots of explode-ie things and the always popular in that war- M60 machinegun also known as the Hog or Pig.

A Hero And Texan Died Yesterday

Everything you need to know- here. The great thing is they still make men like him.

Wednesday's Digressions

• Moe Howard interviews on The Mike Douglas Show- he talks about the early history of the Stooges- fantastic.



• The Farrely brothers are making a 3 Stooges movie. Benicio Del Toro will play Moe and Paul Giamatti Larry with no word who will be playing Curly.



• Really.



• It's about time although, I felt sure it would be made by Mel Gibson.
• I think Curly should be played by an unknown who bears an uncanny resemblance to him.


• I was recently reminded of a direct ancestors slave woman. Don't really know why she has always sparked my curiosity so, but from the first moment my eyes locked on her description in a list of property for an estate auction I've been fascinated by what she may have been like.


• It read something like, one (1) young negro house woman named Chynna age unknown...


• My neighbors dog got into my garbage and scattered it all over her yard. I cleaned it up.


• Why?

Next Blog Foray

A Day For The Ages

"I'm really not one for encouraging politicians on any level but I really do hope being the first black president is just an after though in Barack Obama's carrier. Measured against the task of re-instituting the faith of his countrymen in the 'American dream' and stabilizing not only the US but the world's economy... good luck buddy! "
shou~
Posted by oskashou at 6:08 PM

Barnyard Humor

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire." The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over.." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start." The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Darn.....third gay rooster I bought this month."



Moral of this story? Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, and treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!

Monday's Missives

• This is all I really want- too much to ask?
• When the baby came into my life he would have been pretty high on the the list of things I would have said I didn't need in my life.
• He has been one the best and most important things that has ever happened to me.
• My daughter finally camped out with me- just me and her, very cool but, rainy. The only tiny leak in the whole tent was of course was right over my pretty little forehead.
• Drip...drip...drip...drip...drip...drip...
• Don't know what the terrorists are complaining about.
• I really don't like flour tortillas unless very fresh and high quality. When I did construction work I had a Mexican friend sharing a house with me and after he brought his wife across every morning there was the smell of fresh corn tortillas cooking. Monday through Sunday, rain or shine.
• I love spicy foods- you will not eat me under the table with them but, I don't like hot things just for the sake of hot. Vietnamese people eat a lot of ginger, especially on holidays.
• Don't get.
• It's just hot (especially types from certain areas) not spicy, just hot- like placing a hot penny in your mouth. Do not understand.
• Don't understand bell peppers either, they just taste green- like grass. Is it a texture thing?
• I sound like a food complainer rather than food lover today.

Back From The Brink ? Missives

This kid might be twenty.

Need a better view of what differentiates us and them? Their mind could not grasp fighting an enemy expending enormous capital to kill him then risking everything to save their life. And if they did characterize it- they would deem it weakness. AP photos of Marja offensive.

• I think I'm back from the dead. Although I'm being very cautious in that assessment.




• What a sweet movie Babe is- I still love sharing it with my children.




• Toy Story is now nearly twenty years old. Billy Crystal was offered the role of Buzz Lightyear and regretted turning it down. Woody is named after real life actor Woodrow Strode.




• He played the Ethiopian Spartacus fights to the death in the Kirk Douglas movie of the same name.




• I'm pretty sure John Ratzenburger has still been in every Pixar film made.




• I have no idea who Bode Miller is, but according to headlines he's "still defiant" good for you Bode, good for you.




• I do dig the Ghanaian downhill skier Kwhame Acheampong (I hope I got that right) who is setting the Olympic world on fire after coming out of nowhere- literally as in he only learned to ski 6 years ago on artificial snow indoors on a course he worked. He is self supported, the the government of Ghana hasn't given him a nickel. He'll catch on and be a household name.




• Sponsors- get him while he's cheap.




• He's actually very cheap- self supported teams average spending 250,000 dollars to get to the Olympics- his team has spent 75,000.




• I bet more Olympians regret not making a bigger deal of themselves when they had the chance looking for more money and recognition than the other way around.




• I can't stop thinking about the US infantryman in Taliban custody captured in Afghanistan and now most certainly in Pakistan. Man, how could you have been so foolish? Anyway, I pray for you more fervently than I have for anything or anyone in a long time.




• Including myself.




• It's great to hear the young men in Marja say things like, "This is what we signed up for- this is great!" after tasting real blood and guts, toe to toe combat.




• It's beautiful.




• Don't forget, there's plenty of US soldiers as well as Marines there.




• Most are from the 2 Infantry Division.




• Yes, it stops me dead in my tracks when I think my son could go in two short years. Simply cannot grasp seeing him come back with that change in his eyes.




• That's how it is though.




• I'll just teach him everything I know, have faith in his leaders and God and let him go.




• What else can I do?

Sick O Missives

I love this picture and have since the first moment I saw it. so well composed it's almost like we're there- intrusive even. As I recall he was observer for an American artillery unit during the very last days of World War II and was killed by a German sniper. Sad, lonely, cold and stark are the words that come to mind. The building could very well still be standing.

• I guess I never quite got over the crud I had a while back and it took me down again- I've been in bed for over 30 hours I just woke up soaking wet with sweat and feel better.


• Well, except for the fact I'm soaking wet with sweat and not having showered or brushed my teeth for 30 hours and I'm sore from lying around so much.


• Continuous play on HULU is great when you're sick except for the fact it also plays the ridiculous clips.


• Which oddly also have sponsors.


• Cheap rent.


• This Better Off Ted clip brought to you by Kevin!


• Arrested Development is great when you're sick- low key humor. It makes you smile and laugh, but not too much.


• I worked 10 days on my last case. She's still probably going strong.


• I'm nearly dead.


• Really. I don't even look good. Got skinny and dark circles under my eyes. I move around like an elderly man, grabbing things for support moaning and groaning a lot.


• Being sick used to be fun.


• When I was a boy I craved lettuce with salt and orange juice to drink when sick. My mom would walk to the store and get them if there weren't any in the house.


• I'm gathering John Mayer has created a crap storm over some racist comments he made? I love music and listen to all kinds and could not pick out single thing he does. I know Dave Chappelle used him in a very misguided bit on his show once.


• Someone from Georgia was killed on the luge in Vancouver? Awful, had intended a post on my perceptions of delegations as they entered the arena on opening night.


• People from Russia, Albania, Georgia etc. had tears streaming down their faces- shamelessly bawling. People from the western nations looked happy enough- smiling and all, but maybe entitled and not eternally thankful?


• Anyway, the IOC has said there wasn't anything wrong with the track. Sorry, a luge jumped out of the thing and a dude was killed instantly on a giant metal pole- something is wrong with that.
• Weakening... must- return- to- be...

File This Under Didn't Need A Complex Psychological Exam To Know She's As Crazy As An

outhouse rat!

Something I Heard One Time Years Ago

"You can be a king or a street sweeper but, everybody dances with the grimreaper." Robert Alton Harris

Monday's Missives

• "What scares me is having a gun pointed to my head," Gerard Butler said. "It's just you never know. Is this it? Is it going to be over before I even knew it was about to begin?" From an AP article asking celebs what they fear. I can't imagine where/when the Scottish lawyer turned actor would have encountered so much gun play however- I did note on IMDB that during his first role in Coriolanus he got poked in the eye with a wooden stake during rehearsal.



• I have a case that I took care of some time ago- he improved too much to keep on continuous care. He has declined and is in bad shape so I'll pick him up again tomorrow. Don't know yet if he's cognizant but, I'm curious to see if he'll remember me- we hit off real well the last time.



• My patient I was to care for tonight died before he got the privilege.



• Getting to love Community- Joel McHale is great and of course Chevy Chase is legend although, I don't know how long you can string out a sit com with a community college setting.


• The crew building the house next door have asked to use my electricity for the rest of the afternoon. I said,"Yes" foolishly- since there is probably some anti electricity loaning clause in my policy, the house will burn to the ground and insurance won't have to pay.


• Oh, and one of the guys will burn his hand trying to put the fire out and sue my rear end off.


• Can't tell you how many times folks have said to the effect to me,"My mom/grandmother (take your pick) has smoked for years and it never seems to bother her!" as I'm looking right at the person they're speaking of whose color looks gray as a mouse and it's all they can do to get air through their pursed lips after only going to the toilet and back.


• We'll believe whatever we want to believe.

Our Marines Face The Devil

God bless and keep them. Here's some older footage from a Korengal Valley engagement involving US Army.

Wednesday's Digressions

One of the walking sticks I always find around the house close to winter time.





• It's cool the dog always like to lie at my feet when I'm on the computer- except when he's all farty, and gassy and bloaty.






• It must be the real milk his assistant put in his Frappucino Latte'






• This morning he was over at the new neighbors house talking to the guys installing the electricals. I whistled for him and when he couldn't figure out where it was coming from I called out in a loud voice,"Hey, dummy!" causing the rather big, mean looking worker who was rolling up wire to look up at me with his best,"You talking to me ?" look.






• Which some how came across in a Bronx accent.






• Recently opened the outside door to a patients bedrooom to allow some fresh air in and as I opened the French door I leaned out to see what the night air felt like. As I did I fell into space and began an easily 5 feet decent to the ground. What was I thinking on the way down? Was it,"Oh man, this is going to hurt!" or"You idiot!" or even,"Why are you still holding one of the slats to their vertical blinds?" No, it was ,"Oh, so this is where the patient never got around to putting the deck he'd always wanted."





• I landed nearly face first only more or less- kinda sorta only breaking my fall with my outstretched right hand.





• The weirdest thing? The family never knew it happened. I crawled back in and sat down and minded my own business and worried less about fresh air than I ever have in my life for the rest of the night.

Fly Me Courageous

"I've got you on the loose I left you groovin'

I've got you on the beatI left you broken

But won't you take my place

since long ago I wandered Way out on a cliff

with the brilliance of an angel

So fly me courageous

So fly me courageous

Mother America is brandishing her weapons

She keeps me safe and warm by threats and misconceptions

So if you break the chains you'll have to shake me and if you break my heart you'll have to take me

Woah lady won't you take it easy

Push Me Out Of Woah won't you take it easy lady

Push Me Out Of

Woah won't you take it easy lady

Push Me Out Of

So fly me courageous

I heard your whispers

from the bottom of the canyon

It's not so hard to hide

the rattlesnakes confusion

Wrap me high in the sky

circle me with stallions

She flew from peak to peak

with the freedom of an eagle

So fly me courageous

Fly me courageous

So fly me courageous "

So go the lyrics to one of rocks greatest songs by Drivin n Cryin. We got a lot of things wrong in the 80s and 90s- music was not one of them.

Monday's Missives

From Russia with love- a very cool daily driving, money making rig that looks more than capable to take on the world in the apocalypse

• "I can't believe that the average Israeli doesn't see merit in a solution that creates a separate state for the Palestinians. The settler movement, driven as it is by religious beliefs not subject to rational political discussion, won't see things that way, but most Israelis aren't settlers. Iran can say silly things about Israel because Israel has not made peace with people who have lived on that land for 2000 years. Make peace, and Ahmedinijad will have a harder time finding a receptive audience for his statements. John Carrol"






• "John Carroll, So if I throw a grenade in your front yard then you are going to automatically give me your house? " both from msnbc message board related to article on Israeli Home Front preparedness drill.






• I slept all day after a particularly tiring night at work. My oldest and his cousins were here in the house all day.






• It looks like a hand grenade went off in the house.






• Some people from my high school want to get together informally for dinner one night.






• I almost led that sentence off with some kids from my high school...






• Good grief.






• Being good looking makes peoples lives so much easier- the doors it opens. When Zac is late for breakfast at his daycare the teacher doesn't sit him down in front of some cold cereal and a juice box (or tell us it's too late and leave it at that)- she fusses over him and cooks him something if something wasn't already saved for him.






• At the pharmacy earlier the lady who has worked behind the counter there for 30-40 years gave him a package of M&Ms.






• Just because he's cute.






• When one got jacked from him by another little kid who came in later he said,"Hey you, this is ain't yours! It's mine!"
• War Pigs cover as I can assure you, you've never heard before- yes, The Dresdnen Dolls and it's geat.

Friday's Digressions

Large round worm (hence the species name roundworm) that came from the first growler pup took on my tile when I brought it home from that nasty trailer park.

• The Presidents Kenyan aunt is fighting for asylum status in the US. She was first ordered deported in 2004 whereupon she promptly returned to her publicly funded housing.


• I don't even know where to start. Literally, as in- I'm not trying to be vicious, I'm not hand wringing, it's not with a sense of eye rolling resignation I say that etc, I just don't know where to start.


• The lady who lived near my children's school and would wait for her own at the bus stop with a giant lizard on a leash, a boa constrictor around her neck or a naked mole rat peering out of her shirt pocket has moved. I hate that- wanted to see if she would be a sport and pose for a pic to put here.


• I made the naked mole rat part up- the rest is true.


• Was more than tempted when I dropped something off for my son this morning to make goofy faces at the lady making the announcements and saying the pledge over the PA.


• Restraint- my watchword.


• I use the word "tumultuous" often and have for years, but didn't know the actual by the book definition until this morning- funny.


• The pup begged me to come give him some hate from his warm protected environment of the kids restroom this morning when I got home from work.


• I'm beaming it to him as he keeps my feet warm while I write this.

My Queen Stepped Out There- I Step It Up

This lady put a photo booth pic up. Yes, she's pretty, but mine has a certain "Je ne sais quois"- don't you think?

This Day In History

Karen Carpenter known by the public for her singing but, widely regarded by drummers such as Buddy Rich as a great drummer dies of anorexia nervosa Feb. 4 1983. Although she was separated from her husband Tom Burris and their divorce was soon to be final, he attended the funeral and placed his ring in her casket.

Oh Come On Ahmed

Headline after Iran's successful launch of a satellite today February 3, 2010.
"Iran sends mouse, worms, turtles into space
President: ‘Scientific arena is where we could defeat (West’s) domination’ " AP

I literally nearly fell out of my chair laughing. I mean literally as in I think I tore something. The bad thing? It's already known that sat. could be used to direct a nuclear weapon- but I will assure you over the coming days you'll hear ten times as much about gays in the military as you will this issue in the news.
It simply would not surprise if this is the first place you read about the launch and have heard multiple reports on "don't ask don't tell" today.
We are out own worst enemies.

Wednesday's Digressions

I don't even want to know- and I honestly have no idea where this pic came from.



• Are you down with the Dandy Warhols? No? Then get that way! Dig?




• When I need to I can vomit nearly on command.




• A woman who had my phone number because of work sent this earlier,"When you have a chance to stop and safely do it send me ur birthday I'm learning about personality traits for fun."




• Sounds like a trap.




• A very beautiful family member to a patient was very flirty with me recently- I turned off my signal emanator immediately.




• Yes, I have limits and even something of a moral compass.




• "You're beautiful, thanks babe."




• How I ended my last professional phone conversation.

Bleaaaaack!

Why don't they just call this product Growlers?

Overheard In My Hometown

Two extremely odorous, fat people were walking through the Albertsons of my hometown- how odorous you say? Ok, these people were so odorous they literally cleared the aisles of people as they walked down them, the people literally holding their noses and gagging as they moved away from them and their stench would linger even after they left the aisle. The woman was wearing a stained tank top and by stained I mean I think there was a chicken leg stuck on it and the man wore low riding jeans that would have exposed his butt crack except for the yellow and brown stained bandage that came up out of his buttock and was taped to his lower back.



Did I set that up well enough? Anyway, she was overheard to say:



"In some of my more lucid moments I've been catching up on my reading lately and I've found some great recipes."

Monday's Missives

Amorita 1900- from Shorpy.com. What were you like? Were you loved? Were you happy? What was your death like? Are you remembered by your descendants? Do you have any? Maybe I would have loved you.

• Zac and the pup are competing for my attention. Zac pushes pup back with his hands and pup leans in then pushes Zac aside with his nose. Once he thinks he has the upper hand he nips at Zac to push him back more to solidify his gains until he's pushing up against my leg.




• Zac picked up some construction paper just now and is pretending like it's a kite.




• The pups name is so dumb I won't even put it here and I'm not sure who named him- the neighbor girl? I still call him pup, dog, dummy or stupid.
• Normally not much on religious music but, can't get enough of Mindy Smith performing Come To Jesus- a sweet video for a pretty song.
• The recent friendly fire episode in Afghanistan is troublesome in my opinion and probably for reasons you haven't considered. An Afghan outpost engaged a US patrol with direct fire as it returned to base and the patrol called in an air strike killing I believe four Afghan troops. The problem? US vehicles are among the most distinctive appearing on earth- the Afghan troops simply could not have mistaken them at any hour of the day in that third world nation. Another, was the Afghan defense ministers demand that the troops responsible be prosecuted- before the smoke even cleared. This situation is bad dirty and we don't and won't know the half of it.




• I bought some of those graphic T shirts with the dark artwork on them on sale at Kohls. One is an olive shirt with ravens swarming out of a snag of a tree. Another is red with a crumbled castle, swords stuck in the ground and I don't know what else. They were priced at 34 dollars- I paid 4.00 each.




• Oh, here is a good time for some grooming and dress tips with Kev! Women and the business world love- simply love a well dressed man and while not all inclusive the following will help in both endeavours: think like a woman on the sales- watch when seasons are changing remember, you'll always wear long and short sleeves regardless. Can't beat Kohls especially their sales and you can't go wrong on their shirt and tie combos. Purple? Yes, occasionally if your dark skinned with black or gray pants. Pink? You're on your own brah. Your present woman will fuss over you about being in pink if that's what she wants and buy you one anyway. Never, ever let a woman have complete control of what you wear. Practice moving like you've worn a tie before- not stiff necked like you just go rear ended by a drunk driver. Khakis were good enough for Bogey- they're good enough for us. Pastels on shirts? Cautiously. Goodwill stores occasionally have great, great ties that someone obviously had no idea how great they were and are cheap- 2 or 3 dollars.




• I could live in a motor home or houseboat without reservation and I bet with an otherwise stable, loving life it would be great for children.




• When it snows at night after I've gone to sleep it almost always wakes me up - the light reflecting in and how quiet the world seems. When I was a boy in Decatur I walked around town half the night after a snow- just me no one else in the whole world and marvelled at how different everything seemed.




• Now Zac is pretending a storage box is a guitar- better quit before he's on a Jerry Springer spin off someday for an episode titled I Was An Internet Orphan! and they drag me out in a wheelchair to heap abuse on my frail body and mind.