Fridays Dispatch

• Had an odd little flashback this morning due to flies getting stirred up by the rain and trying to get in from the cool-ish weather, I've been mortally murdering at least three a day that sneak past security and get into the house and it reminded of an anecdote that may show how different westerners and middle easterners think- not just differences in opinion but, how we totally process information differently. A westerner (say an American) sees poor middle easterners (say Iraqi) with flies swarming them at mealtime, children with minor sores becoming infected due to fly activity and loss of their livestock due to same. A westerner might offer to provide swatters, fly strips and other options including education like "Hey man, burn or bury your garbage." The middle easterner would look at you bemused and say to the effect,"The flies and garbage have always been around, they are everywhere. Yeah, we know they get in the children's eyes and torture our animals but, what can I do?" and shrug their shoulders. These facts would make a westerner go crazy enough do something but, I think a middle easterner would be too fatalistic to believe a difference could ever be made.
  

• Some are making a big deal out of a DWI Gov. Palins husband was charged with when he was in his early twenties. They weren't even married at the time. It was twenty years ago. Maybe he wasn't even intoxicated. If he had buried a claw hammer in someones head and Palin was a candidate liberals wanted they would say,"They weren't even married at the time. It was twenty years ago. Maybe he wasn't even guilty." You know I'm right.

• Newt Gingrich was on the Daily Show last night. He combines in equal measures, intelligence, common sense, compassion,humor and ethics more than any other political figure I'm familiar with.
  

• "Andy and Wayne are entrusted with the simple task of guarding Canfield University's mascot "Lucky" until the big game against rival school Farnan University."- Synopses of new show on hulu.com called Campus Cops originally aired in 1995. The following are user generated reviews. 1) "I read the reviews and thought "gosh, I want to see what these people are talking about, can something really be this bad?" seriously, DON'T WATCH THIS, it's not like "wow, this is so bad it's funny how bad it is!" it passes that kind of bad and dives straight into "I might hurt myself if I watch any more of this" "Ugh. 2) if you actually like this show... you have no soul" 3) "This is a crime, and I can't understand why this is not illegal. The most horrible thing I have ever seen." I started watching it anyway, I lasted about 45 seconds, the above reviews are kind hearted passes.


• My yard looks pretty awesome since it rained. Two of my neighbors have said the appearance of my lawn inspired them to make theirs look better- wow, I'm an inspiration.


• At the DNC a bunch of retired generals were trotted out to endorse Obama, one was introduced as General Fig Newton, huh? Yep, and here's his bio:


• "GENERAL LLOYD W. "FIG" NEWTON
  Retired Aug. 1, 2000. Gen. Lloyd W. "Fig" Newton is commander of Air Education and Training Command, headquartered at Randolph Air Force Base, Texas. As commander, he is responsible for the recruiting, training and education of Air Force personnel. His command includes Air Force Recruiting Service, two numbered air forces and Air University. Air Education and Training Command consists of 13 bases, more than 43,000 active duty members and 14,000 civilians. "
• Another flashback: I went to a volunteer fire department near where I lived once to get an application to see if I could help out. There was a guy a guy at the station who gave me a kind of smug look and said,"Here's an application." I went ahead and started filling it out and during the course of this talked to that guy and another who came in a little later and both kind of warmed to me. One said," Since you are here, ______ is on his way we can interview you." The interview consisted of the three of them sitting in a semi circle around me staring me down, asking What would YOU DO? questions like, "There's a baby in a burning house, Billy Bob is down and running out of oxygen- he calls for help..." I guess I did well, as there was a lot of talk from them afterwards like,"You are going to fit in around here just fine if we can keep you away from _____." And then, " _________ can have old _______ and ______ anytime, I think we can trust this guy." while they slapped me on the back. I really felt like I had walked into a minefield and was about to get in the middle of something really messed up. Later, they called and left messages on my house and cell phones, called references I'd listed looking for me, wrote me a letter trying to get me to come back, it was pretty weird. Years later I mentioned this little tale to someone and they said,"I'd say you were about to get in the middle of something. Haven't you heard the story on those guys? They were the ones who argued over who was going to drive the trucks, who was going to spray the fires, who was in charge and a bunch of other craziness, then they finally had some big blow up and some left, one even bought his own fire truck and tried to start up his own fire department!"

For once, my womans intuition might have payed off.