Wednesday Digressions

• I'm frequently having dreams about a place called Sam's Independence Bar. Invariably, it starts out with a really lame commercial being filmed in it with a guy who was obviously just hanging around at the time filming started occupying different parts of the bar doing goofy moves like finger pistols- complete with blowing the smoke off the barrels and winking. The next thing I know I'm using the restroom in a potty chair on a dance floor surrounded by dozens of all the beautiful people I'm sliding it across the floor trying to get to the doors to shut them for privacy (as I shut each, the people began disappearing). Only one or two people had even noticed me, I don't know why it mattered.


• I also had a dream about being trapped in the fenced area of a car repair garage during a disaster with a police officer who had been transporting a baby to CPS after some legal problem her parents got into. He said he had been hunting that morning and shot a warthog. He continually wore me out with cop stories (which I would normally find very interesting) I helped him start an IV on the baby and he showed me how to properly perform an eye test for substance abuse with a flashlight on a bum who staggered by and then he put the baby between his legs and covered her for warmth and we all lay down on the concrete to sleep.


• Then the dog woke me up.


• None of my children have ever been afraid of the dark. I've worked with them from babyhood (is that a word?) by teaching them to turn the lights off themselves and reminding them, There's nothing in the dark, that's not there in the light. When my oldest was little I owned sixteen acres of isolated, wooded property. It was in a rectangular shape and I had made a trail around the entire boundary that crisscrossed to interesting points on the land. When he was three my boy could lead you around the entire property at night with his flashlight. I was actually more spooked than him at any given time- there was a large, deep creek and huge spooky looking trees and lots of animals we'd surprise and hear them crashing through the brush, a huge owl roosted in a couple of different trees so you never knew where he'd call out WHO WHO WHO HOOOOOOO- spooky. My children actually would ask, " What's wrong with those kids?" when children would start crying in another setting and the lights went out.


• A variation of spook was used three times in that last sentence.


• That land was isolated enough you could look around at night and not see any type of artificial light and never hear traffic however, interestingly there was a clan of hillbillies down the road who I never met but, every Friday or Saturday night I don't remember calls of,"Yee HAaaaaW", music, laughter and engines revving could be heard from around ten to exactly two am and then abruptly it would be quiet again. I never actually saw anyone there and I jogged and rode my bike down that road nearly every day and at different hours.


• I saw a baby deer on the land once. I understand often people find fawns like that and think they were abandoned and interfere when they should not, however this one was skinny and I had found a dead female the day before. I left it for a couple of hours and returned to find it covered in fireants I said to myself," Myself, I know you don't want to interfere but, maybe you should move that thing away from that ant mound at least and then watch to see if the mother returns." I nudged it with my boot to see if it would move on its own, it didn't flinch- which is the way they are programmed. I decided to pick it up and move it, when It was about an inch off the ground it made a loud noise like BWAaa-AAAH and jumped straight up about three feet in the air causing me to stagger back, trip up on some vines and fall on my keister. He ran about six feet away and lay down in the shade.


• Keister is old prison slang dating back at least to the 20s it was a kind of code word for hiding things in someones rear end to get things into the prison or moved from one area to another undetected.


• Enough loose associations for one day.