• At lunch once for some reason the subject came up of celebrities. As a result, it was discussed to which we were most attracted. I was asked about one who happens to be black. My answer was something along the lines of Nah, she does nothing for me- she looks kind of mannish. I can't tell if she is a slightly ugly woman or a super pretty dude! Then I laughed and everybody else laughed- except for one person. I happened to look around and a woman who is black was staring at me with literal murder in her eyes. This was no fleeting micro expression that I may have misinterpreted either. She made eye contact with me for a good solid 5 seconds- just glaring.
• My point? I don't know but that was years ago and I still wonder about what was happening there.
• Bonus thought- she was one of my best work buddies. We had lunch together all the time. Even so- I still have no idea what the line was I crossed. 
• I had the most amazing coffee nap yesterday.
• As I have mentioned before while in Germany I got to be pretty good with the language. While not absolutely fluent- I could manage to get my point across in any setting. Since English is Germanic- you can figure out a lot when you can identify root words. Also, if there is a compound word in German and you know one of the root words it is often easy to interpret-ish. Example: I just saw in print the title of a book, Meine Flugbuch. Without hesitation I saw, My Flight Book. That is not correct. It would be My Logbook (as related to flying though) but it got the point across and on either side of an actual conversation between real people; the speakers would figure out in context what was meant if the title was spoken.
• It is April 7th 2018 and when I awoke this morning it was to a drizzly rain in 32 degree temperature. Texas weather is psychotic.
• The only thing keeping me in Texas are my children. If the ex said, I'm moving to Colorado. I would simply say, Cool, I'm right behind you...
• Yesterday (today is 05/02/2018) I told a friend the story about the time an ex tried to murder me with a pair of scissors. My friend did not believe the story which hurt my feelings out of proportion to what that lack of faith should.
• Today (11/08/2018) I thought about the woman who tried to get all stabby with me. I wondered as I have a few times through the years if she ever thinks about that episode and for the first time ever wondered how/if she justified her actions.
• Arlo McKinley Bag Of Pills.

what is wrong with me ?!

Friday Morning Car Talk

• Mike made me think of an old car story. The 1993 Suburban was a great car. Not only was it was reliable and pretty- it was easily the most comfortable vehicle I have ever owned. 
• It was a top of the line trim package but the real secret I think was slightly oversized tires and high quality gas shocks.
• It was the subject of a paint recall- which was completed only a few months before I bought it.  It looked like new. The color was a high end A&M color. It was beautiful.  It was complimented constantly.
• Also within some months prior to my buying it there was a miss somewhere that a complete tune up did not fix- so the heads were replaced. It seems like there were 14000 miles on that new top end.
• The tires were high end and nearly new.
• The seats were a great mix of mush and firmness. Come to think of it- I wonder if they were custom?
• Although I don't have any independent recall of how old it was- the transmission was quite new.
• The only thing I know I did mechanical was replace the fuel pump.
• The fuel pumped failed within minutes of filling it up. The fuel pump was in the tank.
• I repaired it myself.
• I saved 300+ buck- doing it myself. 
• That, is in case you are wondering- about 3000 buck in poor people money.
• When I had the exhaust replaced we put in a high quality, larger than stock one. 
• It was the quietest car I have owned (and maybe bested only by my Benz). Honestly- to stay safe I would have to pull over and stretch- or SLEEP after just a few hours as it was soooo quiet and comfortable.
• When I replaced the battery a slightly larger deep cycle one was recommended. It was slightly more expensive but had a ridiculously generous replacement policy. That didn't matter though- I got 6 years of use out of it. All the while that at some point for over a year it got nearly nothing but hot/cold starts and a short (I could get to work in 7 minutes) drive.
• Yeah I basically stole that car- and still miss it.
• It was a great car.
• PS: I looked for an SUV meme to illustrate this post. All the results were of monster trucks and mud buggies. A fair number had homophobic slurs regarding drivers of the opposing brand preferred by the memes creator. There were also apparent screen grabs of ghey pron scenes which were censored with a Chevy or Ford etc. emblem.
• So- no meme for you TODAY!

I just intentionally listened to a Bob Dylan song for the first time in my life. Before today of course, I'd heard his stuff but only things that are played on the radio or hearing him accidentally in the periphery of my life.

I am in R And K Cafe in Weatherford. Of the couple sitting in the next booth- he has stared non stop out the window from the first moment of their arrival and she has just as intently been staring a hole in him with murder in her eyes for the same amount of time.

Thanks fellow humans for making my day as a single person a little more tolerable.

Ages Old Draft Clean Up

• "Persons should not consume any species of gar from these waters.
• For common carp, adults and children 12 and older should eat no more than two 8-ounce servings per month." TPWD site regarding fish consumption bans and advisories.
• Way ahead of you buddy and in fact I'll just say, zero, no ounce servings per lifetime..
• So dry and hot- saw a young raccoon drinking from the pond the other day in broad daylight.
• Richard Dale Morrison was the first person convicted under The Church Arson Prevention Act.
• Oh, and he also had the related sentence extended for 6 months as a result of assaulting John Walker Lindh (American Taliban) during his prayers in the prison chapel.
• Tried to pacify Zac by setting him up with a game controller while big bubba actually played. He didn't fall for it. I mean literally- he looked at me like I was crazy.

Thursdays Thoughts

• On a road trip I saw a sign in Oklahoma for Two Baby Creek. It made me draw up inside to think of how it got its name- two baby's died of cholera? Were two babys murdered there by Kiowa or Commanches? Nope, there had at one time been a kindly Arapahoe native American who camped there. When he was born he was so big he could have been two babys- so the name stuck. White people in the area liked him so they named the creek in his honor.
• Honestly I'm shocked the origin of that name was so benign- pleasant even.
  
• Wichita mountain range wildlife refuge is amazing. I'm going back as soon as I can. It may be my new, my place.
  
• I finally had Indian tacos. Verdict: super good to eat- probably not real good for you.
  
• The lodge at Lake Murray is great. I played Jenga there for the first time. My guess is it is hard to beat somebody who has even a bit of skill and feel for the game.
  
• We ate chocolate cobbler with ice cream at Roman Nose Lodge. 
  
• Obviously in 100 years there will still be signs of CCC and WPA work but what about 200? Will there be one building that is saved in perpetuity regardless of cost?
  
• To be in the Civilian Conservation Corp a man had to have 3 masticating teeth, be 5 feet tall and weigh 107 pounds. There were plenty of guys who had to pig out before weigh in to make that weight. Today, can you imagine an adult american male who could not make that cut?
  
• We called 911 on an impaired driver close to Corn Oklahoma. We followed her for at least 10 miles. It is a miracle she did not kill anybody. Weirdest thing? When she would drive off the road or nearly hit someone head on she would look back and wave like, Excuse me- I'm sorry...
  
• I saw a woman at the toy and action figure museum in pauls valley who had impossibly hairy legs.

Monday's Missives

I passed on this gem. #regret #regerts #covfefe!

• How long before a drone operated by law enforcement in this country does a power dive into somebody to stop a crime or stop their escape from a crime?
• Last Friday I slept all day.
• Kids are playing recorders outside.
• I simply do not think I could survive working nights. Honestly- I think it would kill me.
• Poison, Cinderella, Slaughter and a bunch of others were the music of my youth so you would think I would know them without fail. You would be wrong in thinking that though- it is always a shot in the dark.
• Baby formula represents a much better chemistry than biology lesson.
• Remember cloth towels that dispensed in a rotating loop in public restrooms way back in the day?
• Until I am reminded- I always think Peter Lorre lived much longer than he did and that James Cagney died long before he actually did. 

F4 Flying The Unfriendly Skies Of N Vietnam

F4 Phantom- my favorite military aircraft

Pretty much my favorite band right now. There is a million percent chance that when I when the lottery- they will play my birthday party.

Monday's Missives

• In 1981Catcher In The Rye was both the most banned book in US schools and the second most widely taught. Let that sink in; that is some next level, mind blowin' stuff right there folks. I mean really, there is some psychosis at work in how that book was/is viewed in this country.
• Another one of those things that would blow your mind if you knew me: I have never read that book- although it is on my list.
• Toe, boob and butt: Three places I kissed on three different women before smooching their faces. Why? Mostly because I thought it would be funny but also maybe just so I could add that factoid to my story.
• Deep in the night (today is 07/18/2016) I watched Midnight In Paris. It is a good to very good movie in the way that not a lot of just good movies are made these days. There was not one single explosion or gunshot- just a good, well told story.
• My breakfast sammie place may be in trouble. They are not open on the weekends at all now and routinely open later than their posted hours during the week.
• Today is 07/27/2016. Work- I do not wanna.
• Dinner last night (07/28/2016) was at The Bearded Lady in Funkytown. When we were ready to leave I didn't see my server so I called over another whom I knew to ask her to get my server to bring us the check. She asked, Who is your server? Um, I don't know her name. What did she look like? Um, lots of tattoos. That is all of us. she said. Oh. Uh, face piercings... before I could finish she pointed to her own face. Real short shorts... she just glared at me like I was a crazy person. Oh, uh- real red lipstick! I blurted as I finally remembered a legit, discriminating feature to my server.  Oh that is ________ I'll ask her to take care of you.
• The youngest person to serve in the US military during World War II.

                                                                                ☻

A Flower From Me To You

Wednesday's Digressions

• A couple of days in a row this week I listened to a little classical music on the way to work.
• It had been sooo long since I had done so I was surprised to recognize a not favorite Tchaikovsky composition.
• Tchaikovsky auto filled up there in lower case. 
• Weird.
  
• It is so hot but I  really want to go camping.
• People are so loud and obnoxious in campgrounds nowadays.
• People are generally more rude and self centered today.
• I blame the internet.
• Nowadays is in odd word.
• Zac watched The Alamo tonight. I winced a little  at the small amount of bad language but not really at him seeing people being blow up or shot to death.
• Americans... Amiright?
• )
• Oh look- I invented the cyclops smiley face emoji by repositioning in bed. 
• No big deal?! Cooler that anything you did today.
• Rancid Ruby Soho
  
  

Longhorn In Picnic Area at Wichita Mountain Wildlife Refuge

What I'm listening to right now.

Wednesday's Digressions

• The most interesting thing about the Clinton versus Trump race is if nothing else- you could never convince me in a million years that Clinton ever thought she was going to lose and I just as firmly believe Trump never dreamed- he would win.
• To me eye glasses no matter how clean and well maintained have an odor.
• A friend who was already pretty just had a bunch of work done on her face. She actually asked my opinion prior to the surgery. We discussed risks, the cost and the fact she was already pretty... she did it anyway. 
• I was shocked at the results- not bad. I'm going to hang out with her soon. It will be weird at first I think as she may look good but wow- she looks different.
• Two friendly aquaintences go up and down in their weights frequently. When one loses 20 pounds she looks 10 years younger. When the other loses the same- she looks 10 years older.
• I don't know what to make of those truths.
• Recently I disappointed a nursing buddy by not moving with her to another department. 
• Sometimes, the devil you know is better.
• I am the son and heir of nothing in particular.

Monday's Missives

• Once Upon A Time In The Midlands was on the menu last night and it saddens to say- it did not impress which is a little unusual; as off the wall comedies like that which get two thumbs up from Ebert and Roeper are normally pretty we'll received by me.
• A long ago love interest told me as we were getting to know each other she had sex with the brother to a guy who was on The Voice or American Idol- whatever and presented it as if I should have been impressed. I was not. I never spoke to her again.
• Yesterday (today is 07/12/2016) I took note of a sign on the Interstate that referenced the Peach Peddle.
• A friendly aquaintence rode the 61 mile route.
• It made me draw up inside and break into a sweat to just write that.
• The battle of Stalingrad was literally insane and as this article points out the casualties were nearly incomprehensibele; 2 million people- in 6 months.

Monday's Missives

• For dinner this evening I had a meatball marinara sub, salt and vinegar potato chips and lime and cucumber Gatorade. Those are all things that I have very infrequently. I don't have any of them seperatley more than once a year or so (and in fact have only shared the Gatorade a time or two) but interestingly- I had them all together.
• 06/05/2018- in case you are wondering.
• I have been warned that a coworker is interested in somebody else at work and as a bonus-she thinks he might be interested back.
• Said somebody else is me. 
• Aye caryumba! I could not be less interested. I had an intuitive suspicion though.
• It is against my policy to talk about sex at work.
• A friend was until recently a professional broadcast journalist.

There's A New Sheriff In Town

My Fourth Of July Coming Of Age Story

When I first enlisted it was in the Texas
Army National Guard in Decatur TX. The full timer there was SSG Ben Moya and one of the recruiters was SFC Stivers although; I do not recall if either were present during the debauchery that followed my enlistment. Honestly- Stivers may or may not have been there (kinda think he was) and Moya I am very sure was not there (but not 100% sure). I only have definite recall of a part time recruiter and another enlistee by name or face. There were later in the same day definitely 5 guys in a vehicle made for 4.
Anyway, back in the day when you tested to enlist you did it in your hometown armory- at the recruiters desk. If you enlisted in Decatur TX, when you did your physical they took you to a super old doctor in Wichita Falls. Why Wichita Falls? The true reason may be lost to time to me but it may have been related to the Bowie and Decatur units being tied together (with Wichita Falls being the closest city of any size to Bowie) and/or the old doc being the only one who made himself available on Saturdays. I only recall the waiting room being dimly lit and the building may have been isolated somewhat or at least on a big lot.
Once we passed the physical we came back to the armory and took the oath.
We then went to the kitchen to a fridge full of food and booze that was left over from a
party the night before. People who rented the armory always left booze and food I would learn later.
We partook mightily.
Somebody rolled out a projector. I presumed we were about to watch a training film or even a war movie.
It was my introduction to John Holmes. He was doing it with some gorgeous, tiny Asian woman.
We drank like there was no tomorrow  and pigged out on fried chicken like we just got released from prison.
We then followed the recruiter out to the Quonset hut which had formerly been the actual armory and piled into an M151 jeep. I remember- it literally sounded like a sewing machine when it was at idle- a comforting tappity tappity...
We then went out to LBJ Grasslands and climbed hills and generally played around for hours. We then watched the sunset from the jeep- beers in hand. I was seated on top of the spare tire. I grinned like a possum the entire evening. It was probably the happiest I had been to that point in my life.
I knew it was the start of something big, that I would never be the same. It was my first step toward manhood.
I was 17 years old.

Thursday's Thoughts

• I signed up for a trial version of Match.com. I actually was not surprised when FG was among my first recommended matches.
• We were together when she took the pictures she used for her profile pics. I know exactly where we were and what we were doing when she took those pics.
  
• Although I have been a nurse for 20 plus years- I have never worked a code. This is mostly because of the types of nursing I have done- long term care, hospice and public health. There is also a weird luck component. Plenty of nurses I have know have worked codes on every group I worked with (except hospice).
  
• I love gyros, cheeseburgers and Asian food for breakfast.
  
• Yesterday (today is 5/21/2018) unbeknownst to me I was totally massacred by mosquitoes. I say unbeknownst as I never saw a single one poke me but I'm covered in welts.
• Unbeknownst- what an odd word.
  
• A smoking hot nurse who works in a related clinic left for a new job fairly recently. On her way out she stopped by my office and made sure she had my number.
• Oddly, I'm waiting for that simple exchange to become more trouble than it was worth. Honestly- I kinda had a minor panic attack soon after our encounter.
  
• I only work with one nurse who smokes.
  
  
  
• Junior Brown Surf Medley.
•  I have no idea what this is to- honestly. I have already forgotten. 

Wednesday's Digressions

• You can tell a lot about people by how they treat animals, children, elderly people and people of generally lower social status.
  
• Recently I accidentally added a year to my age when telling a story. For real- I wasn't trying to pad my age for the sake of a story or anything like that- I forgot. I had to pull out a calculator and figure it out.
  
• I love the Jack County area and always have.
  
• When my brain replays the footage of an ex trying to stab me to death with a pair of scissors- Joy Division's New Dawn Fades plays in the background. That song was not playing that day though. The house was actually dead quiet. For some odd reason my brain just decided to overlay that song as a soundtrack.
• Weirdest thing about that day? She invited me there days after an acrimonious breakup. When I walked inside the house it was dead quiet- no TV and no radio. It was also spotlessly clean. In the front part of the house the curtains were wide open. In the back of the house where she tried to kill me it was totally blacked out- curtains were closed and the lights were dim.
  
  
• Sometime ago I bumped into an old friendly aquaintence. The first thing that popped into my mind was remembering her story of being a surrogate for her sister. Supposedly, the insemination was by turkey baster on a dining table. Her mother, her sister and sister in law did the procedure. It was hilarious the way she told it. People would scream-laugh when she would go into the gory and weird details. My second thought after not hearing that story for 15 plus years? What a Liar. Oh, I know there was a surrogate birth for her sis- I'm just hung up on the insemination method. I would nearly bet my life the method was au naturale.
  
•  If I wondered how I did with a smoking hot, funny and smart female at lunch recently all fears were set aside when she later said, What are you doing for lunch Wednesday or Thursday or Wednesday and Thursday for that matter?!
  
• I have said it before but I will say it again- you are nuts if you look at pron at work. What an asinine way to lose a job or get into even a hint of trouble.
  
• Da Kung-Fu Masta!

Monday's Missives

• This morning 05/24/218 at my donut place the girl I have dealt with for over a year put my order on the counter. Then, stumbling to remember my name looked at the ticket and said, Kevin your order is ready. Im sorry. I don't know why I can never remember your name- you seem more like a Bruce or Larry though! 
• Weird bonus information to that little story. My nursing buddy said, Oh She likes you when I told her that story. When I questioned her about it she couldn't really say why but she was just very sure that the girl is into me.
• Anyway- who looks like a Bruce or Larry?! 
  
• In the morning I drink 2-4 cups of coffee and 2 larges of water. In the evening I have 2 large glasses of water. It is rare I will have even a sip of water in between.
  
• Blaine Johnson- the fake name an old friend would use when meeting women.
• He apparently dropped off the face of the earth. I could not locate him using his full name and the places he was known to live. Also, he had state licensure/endorsements for two different fields and I could find nothing. There is no way his mother is still alive and I could not even find him tied to her obit. in our hometown paper. I'm not even sure how all that is even possible these days other than it might be he died soon after we parted ways 25+ years ago.
• I would pay 20 buck for a big plate of cheese fries to be delivered to me right now.

A wedding at Sunshine Lake on 05/27/2017

Friday's Dispatch

• A friendly acquaintance is very- very likely to kill herself and I don't know what to do about it. Due to some recent changes in her personal life and what I think I know about her personality I would have thought this even even if I discounted her history- which reads like a checklist for people who might kill themselves ( if not for people in acute crisis who are ready to kill themselves).
• Half of the people need to realize that the internet is more real life than they think it is- the other half needs to realize that the internet is not as real life as they think.
  
• A female I met a long time ago was on both estrogen replacement and testosterone. I'm not an endocrinologist but man- that seems weird.
• For some reason it doesn't trip me out at all when an American actor can do a convincing British accent but it seems really bizarre when a British actor can throw off a good Southern American accent. Some part of my mind rejects it and says, This is just not right.
  
• While I was training a new nurse one time during the shadow phase where I let her talk and educate the patients and I just observe and step in if I really needed to, the patient asked her a question. This caused my nursing buddy to literally start riffing and ad libbing and apparently just saying anything that seemed like she thought was even remotely related. I didn't stop her mostly because even the incorrect stuff was not dangerous per se but also- it was simply just fascinating to see. It was mesmerizing.
• What did I do? What did I say? After the patient left I said to her Wow, you just kinda started winging it there didn't you? I know. I couldn't stop. I couldn't shut up. What did I even say?! was her reply.
  
• It didn't matter you where you went in the world for the Army, at some point you were going to be served chili mac and the dish called yakisoba. Also, no matter where you had it in the world- they both would be great.
• Drivin' N Cryin' Honeysuckle Blue. More of the music of my youth.

Monday's Missives

I get and appreciate the sentiment but even as this toothpick holder was given to me the fact a person in our area could not text 911 was considered a grave shortcoming in the system.



My new pack absolutely looks like a parachute. Some comedian of an engineer put the icing on the cake with this rip cord handle looking device which is ostensibly part of a system to hold hiking poles.

Although I spend from it; I have always tried to leave a little money in my vehicles- enough to get us home and/or eat if my card fails. As an experiment, I left all my change from every cash transaction in the console of my truck. After 2 months there were 138 dollars.

Cereal dirt left behind by my children (and it only took 3 boxes to get this amount). Just add milk for cereal mud!

The ad hoc bookmarks I find in library books always intrigue me.

• A one time partner told me how she learned to do a specific sex act on a guy- by reading a Cosmo magazine saying, You know the type- The title was something like, How to drive your man crazy in five simple steps! Instead of it being gross to hear about or at least being uncomfortable to discuss- for some reason it struck me as being funny and vaguely interesting. We laughed and laughed.
• Don't Change A Thing- For Me
• INXS is probably my most long standing favorite band in that I heard them early on and never stopped listening. The preceding song came out in 1982. Gulp- 34 years ago. How did that happen?
• Time is relentless.
• As I recall I only saw it rain in Iraq twice. Once was during a mission briefing. There were a few pitter patters of rain on the hood of a HMMWV which caused the patrol leader to stop speaking midsentence and he and everybody else to stop and stare in awe at the rain drops and/or to look up and feel them hit our faces. It was mesmerizing. Another time it poured. It rained so much there was water standing ankle deep- on flat ground. My friend and I got separated from each other on the way back to our tents. We could hear each other calling out but couldn't see each other. My cover (hat) blew off my head and was found by a female Marine Master Sergeant and returned to my unit a week later.
• Today is 06/02/2016. I leave Saturday morning for New Mexico.
• Recently I saw a video of a cop shoot somebody. What stuck out to me was I didn't know which was more retarded; the cop holding his gun sideways like he thought he was in a 1990s rap video or the guy he shot being unable to effectively run away because he had to hold his pants up.
• If given the choice of a Fail or Win video I will choose Win about 93% of the time.
• Black Rebel Motorcycle Club Red Eyes and Tears live in London.