Monday, May 16, 2016

Monday's Missives

  • There is only one season of Portlandia on Netflix.
  • I am eat up with poison ivy. It is miserable. The lesions broke out in the middle of the night. I initally assumed bedbugs and was up at 3 am trying to figure out how to spot the things. Is it a certain color light? Is it a certain spectrum of fluorescent? Am I thinking of the wrong line of detection altogether?
  • Anyway- I'm going crazy with the itch.
  • Edit: it wasn't poison ivy- I am allergic to a soap I used containing Shea butter and almond oil.
  • What do you mean you want to see my man card?!
  • Two items that are shoplifted like crazy- condoms and pregnancy tests. There are some great moral and social lessons in that fact to be discerned; although I am not smart enough to gleen them.
  • Remo Williams The Adventure Begins- what I'm watching.
  • It is 1739 on 04/03/2015.
  • Omigosh. I may literally lose my mind from this itching. I have tried hydrocortisone, ice, covering the lesions with bandages, leaving them open to air... My half hearted Zen attempt at becoming one with the agony is the only thing less effective than those desparate attempts at self treatment.
  • Fred Ward's mustache is epic in Remo. 
  • Occasionally through the years I have remembered a scene in a movie where a character kept his coffee cup in the panties of a little pig on the dash of his car. The pig wears a Nets jersey. To save my life I could never remember the movie the scene occurred in- mystery solved.
  • It was you Remo all along.


Denney Crane said...

You're not going to believe me, but try Listerine on your rash... It should give a couple of hours worth of relief.

el chupacabra said...

Hey Denney- I filed that one away for next time. Thanks!