Thursday, December 25, 2014

That My Friends On Teh Internets May Not Perish


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  • An odd thing about the internet and maybe it is the way we have always been is people feel the need to impress their bad ideas on each other rather share information. Anti vaccination gorks may top that list. An article about the flu vaccine that caught my attention the other day (today is 12/24/2014) was not long published before it had 200+ anti-side comments. True they may have been the work of a single crazy lady but sadly I doubt it. Anyway, one that really stood out was a person who said to the affect, "As a matter of fact I have the flu NOW. I'll stay home today and drink some orange juice, take some pro biotics and tomorrow be as good as new and go back to work." In a way I don't even know where to start but a good enough place may be the flippant attitude toward what we call the flu.  That is how it works it's deadly magic. You have lived through it before- you will again. The way the world really works is- you can become dehydrated making it harder for your body to recover and drive all your systems in general. You become listless and lie around more making it possible for a pneumonia to develop- maybe even a bacterial infection in conjunction with the flu.
  • You could die homes.
  • I get where the writer of that comment was lying- if you have the flu, I mean really have the flu you do not sit around commenting on dumb crap on a retarded anti vaccine blog talking about something you don't know anything about. You are too busy clinging to life and/or praying for death and that is when you're 20-30 years old. When you get into your 40s how you prevent a flu and how you treat same is an important personal consideration. Anything above 50 is a medical issue you really don't need to play with.
  • Some people beat the flu all or most of their lives. I do not know how this can be true but I do believe it is possible. When somebody shrugs their shoulders and says, Meh, I stayed home one day drank some juice and caught up on Breaking Bad. I was back at work on Wednesday. I know they had a cold - maybe and have no concept what a flu is and this has  been confirmed with 20 years of nursing observation (no hard science but it is there- look it up. I'll wait). Most people only know they have the flu when they assume they're getting a cold and instead have a near death experience.
  • Anyway, when somebody talks about that flu that lasts a day and a quick recovery I don't buy it. They don't know what they're talking about.
  • Part of what makes you so miserable is the virus's replication process. Generally, as a virus replicates toxins are produced as a by-product- a by-product your body doesn't like causing you to feel sick. These toxins are so prevalent and nasty they can actually cause your liver to work harder to filter your blood- it will even show up on liver function tests.
  • Moral of that part of the story- drink water- lots of it.
  • So what do I do Mr. Smartie McSmarterton? I don't want this flu plague of which you speak. How do I prevent this scourge? you say. For starts- get your flu vaccine. The quadravalent (covers 4 strains) is best as there is evidence this season's trivalent is not covering some folks and they getting sick in spite of being vaccinated. Even if you get sick after being vaccinated it is known your case will always be milder. This is so true you may be misdiagnosed by a doc even as having a cold without testing.
  • If you start getting sick if you go to your doc quickly enough (48-72 hours) there are a couple of drugs that can help head the worst of it off. If cost is a consideration ask for something old and cheap rather than new and sexy- they work 90+% as well.
  • So I'm getting sick- what do I do Kev? Hang in there. Stick with me. I'm here for you buddy. Go to the store get: Onion soup, chicken noodle soup, crackers, chamomile tea, cheese, orange juice, sweet tea, sweets (I like pecan pie) store brand Nyquil, extended release pseudoephedrine, diphenhydramine, ibuprofen, muscle rub and rubbing alcohol. 
  • This is getting complicated you say. Don't worry babe- it will be worth it. Like I said, stick with me.
  • After gathering the supplies you didn't already have, run a bath getting it as hot as you can stand and pour half a bottle of alcohol in there. Light candles if you want. Soak in the tub keeping it as hot as you can for as long as you can while guzzling the orange juice. When you get out take the Nyquil (after reading the warning label) and then eat chicken soup and drink ice water. Put the muscle rub on your neck and chest without rubbing in too hard. It is cheaper than Mentholatum and you have it for sore neck and back muscles later. Go pee. Then go lie down and let sleep's sweet release sweep you away.
  • When you awaken have the onion soup and throughout the recovery have your sweets and drink sweet tea so you have some energy and feel a little less like a dog turd. Drinking any hot tea such as chamomile, green, ginseng etc. although not magical, mystical and least of all healing is good- it makes you feel better and is water so will help you on your journey back from the dark banks of the River Styx. The pseuoephedrine is good for during the day. It will dry your snot out although may jazz you up making it harder-ish to sleep. You can take the Ibuprofen between your Nyquil night caps. Often, but at least as soon as you awaken and right before you sleep take a deep breath in and out then cough 3-4 times. This will keep crud from building up in your airways causing a pneumonia.
  • Good luck.
  • Oh, and catch up on Breaking Bad or better yet- American Horror Story.

2 comments:

The Donald said...

I actually got the flu shot this year, first time in several. Of course, now we're hearing that the strain selected may not be the one propagating. I've had a staffer out all week - I think she got the shot - who's been reporting that she's not seeing much improvement.

The Donald said...

If I were home sick, I probably wouldn't watch Breaking Bad, but would give a listen to The Grand Illusion or Pieces of Eight near the banks of the River Styx.

Guess you could say classic rock is my Achilles Heel...