Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Wednesday's Digressions

The ole F1

  • I like the Next Blog forays but, recently found one that was very disturbing. It involved animals, women, children and sex. Very sad.
  • There was an older guy when I was a lot younger who was known for supposedly his mother died because of an abdominal infection caused by his father having sex with a horse and then having sex with the guy's mother. I had always dismissed it as a cruel rumor- until I left home and our paths crossed somehow- we actually became friends. It came out in a,  You think that's bad. kind of statement.
  • Yeah, you still got me beat on that one homes.
  • Yes, he literally said, My dad would go down to the barn and screw the mares. One time he came home and had sex with my mom. She developed peritonitis and died a week later.
    The Timberline SQ2 is perfect- it vents like crazy and with a footprint you can light set it and it weighs only 4 pounds

    If you were my GF and you camped with me you would awaken to the sound of my harmonica, the smell of the fire and hot chocolate. Yes, I know it is a Melissa and Doug brand- I got some on sale for my kids. They were interested for about 5 minutes. They are amazingly warm sounding for the 3 or 4 dollars I paid. Anyway, you would stagger out of the tent and say, Were you playing? I thought it was a dream. It matched the birds singing and fish splashing. I went back to sleep because it was pretty and I didn't want it to end.

    My field notes. Some day they will be a national archival treasure.

    Witches log. It still wasn't burned by the time we left- after a half a liter of stove fuel and pounds of tinder and two concerted efforts to get it to light and it was a dry as a bone.

    Sun bleached turtle shell frags.

    A wonderful beverage. Find it in your grocers awesome section.

    A Thanksgiving dinner could be faked by a good cook with the camping cooking gear I own and 99% of the time this pot which doubles as a case for my stove is all I use. A scrap of towel protects the stove's wings and keeps the pot on the stove.
  • I'm really not supposed to do that but I will for you because you are from Iraq. what I recently said to a patient.
  • Even more recently (today is 09/19/2014) I accidentally hit on an Iraqi patient. She had finished everything required of her and said, Well I guess I'll never see you again. I replied, Maybe not. Who knows?! She whipped around and said Oh, good- you have my number -right?
  • Get away from me you little devil.
    FG: Oh, help him Kevin he's stuck! He's dead baby. No, no he's moving. Help him he's stuck!

    Dutifully I pulled him out so she could see he was dead as a hammer.

    I don't remember what these are called but if you rub a handful on dead fish stinking hands it gets the smell off pretty well. 
  • Today I am home laying out from work. Nat Geo has a show on about World's Deadliest. I am drinking some fancy pants coffee. I won't say all is good, as I feel terrible but it could be worse.
  • Every day you wake up exchanging gases, have food stuffs to process for fuel and you can void your wastes is a good day I always say.


Katy Anders said...

I sure hope it's dead. The image of it swimming around in that condition is the stuff of nightmares.

el chupacabra said...

Ha, yeah no doubt. I thought about that the same day- but I thought it would be awesome- the milky eye and all.

Too cool.

Also, of course I did not hold him up and desecrate his corpse by moving his lower lip up and down making him a ventriloquist dummy causing him thank to her for saving him and then chase her around the shore while she screamed her head off...

No wait, I'm sorry, imagine my embarrassment. That is totally what I did.

The Donald said...

Regarding the guy's dad - his name was Ed, but he always preferred using the honorific before it.

Arnold Ziffel was always very wary of that guy - apparently Green Acres wasn't the place to be.

"It's younger horses, faster money, older women, and more whisky" - what the guy thought Tom T. meant...

"I was running to get away from that guy" - Ruffian's epitaph

On his next marriage, the guy splurged on the honeymoon and upgraded to the double bridle suite.

But you can bet Elsie was sure relieved when the guy traded in his Maverick for a Pinto.

It's the stuff of night...mares.

Shifting gears...

Hey, I like the Eureka tent, but dang, that thing costs almost as much as my first car...

el chupacabra said...

Ha, good stuff Don.

I hear you on the tent but I'm tellin' ya homes if you're in the market it cannot be beat in a pound for pound dollar for dollar way.

It will not only last the rest of your life, it will serve you without any snagged zips, broken poles or leaks etc. for that time.

I'll stop gushing for now.

The Donald said...

Would you categorize your playing style as: Stevie Wonder, Dylan-esque, or Neil Young?

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming:

I'm guessing the equine affairs raised a few eyebrows...with the neigh-bors.

Just like Christian August, he told his daughter, "Yekaterina, if you ever want to be great, you need to follow in the footsteps of dear old dad."

Nightmares on Mane Street?

"Honey, I'm gonna buy a new Philco TV for the barn so I can watch the Phillies play..."

"Dear, why don't you wear your halter top and stirrup pants to the Elks Club tonight?"

A recent Gallop poll revealed that 14.7% of adult males had had fantasies about horses.

"We will not discriminate against you based on who you choose to love, what species you choose to love, or how fast they can run the 5/4 mile." - DF line included by every (D) candidate at the 2016 DNC.

"Sweetheart, what do you think about that lovely house in the Ross Downs neighborhood?"

Life is just a merry-go-round. Sort of.