Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Tuesday's Middle Of The Night Missives


Tacky, but funny- click to enlarge so you can read the text.





  • Normally I don't care about entertainers or politicians personal lives too much, but it kind of took me back when I read about Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver separating.

  • Chili's has for the price consistently good quality ribs. The big pickle place, the big pepper place and the big cherry place- what my 3 children each called Chili's when they would ask to go through the years.

  • I am awake at 2 AM because I made a piggy of myself there last night- I don't do that often anymore.

  • I am miserable.

  • Really- I mean I am in agony.

  • I don't touch wine with a 10 foot pole, but I love UB40's Red Red Wine and have had it stuck in my mind for hours.

  • It's catchy.

  • I bet you didn't know that Neil Diamond wrote and performed it originally though.

  • I've always liked UB40's cover of Can't Help Falling In Love as well.

  • Zac went swimming yesterday after we played Frisbee. 7 or 8 of the lovelies were already out working on their tans and if I'm lying I'm dying- Zac was hooking the Frisbee toward the fence so he could go over and talk to them.

  • I'm bad: yesterday morning my friend in the restaurant sat next to me and turned her back to me meaning she wanted her back scratched and rubbed. How's that? I asked after a few minutes. It's good and you know it- don't stop. she said as she leaned her head forward for me to work on her neck. Oh man, you are something else she said. After a few more minutes she said,OK, I'm ready to work. What can I get you started with? As she asked I was sticking my tongue into the whipped cream on top of my coffee. That doesn't look like a starter- it looks like a happy ending! she said. Well, OK if that's where we're going with this- to get things started we'll put a spoonful of this in your belly button and go from there I said. We both busted up laughing. Then she said, I'm getting away from you, before I get in trouble!

  • It was then I looked down and happened to notice the line was still open on my phone from speaking to my former spouse earlier.

  • Good night world.

8 comments:

an Donalbane said...

Picture - wonder why her friend used the adjectival 'very long' in the comment. I mean, isn't the appearance of a chick having a unit shocking enough?

What's a UB40? ☺ OK, sure, I remember the '80s and the reggae remake of RRW. But I also listened to Hot August Night about a hundred times during the summer of '74, so yeah, I knew it was a ND song.

WTG, Zac! We have to be clever and creative in our tactics to approach the opposite sex. Good move!

Open phone line, accidentally? Really? Really, Kevin? Good move!
Maybe next time you can inadvertently pocket dial the ex-, while you're pulling a 30# catfish out of an ice chest, in front of the GF, or any appropriate female for that matter: "Oooh, Kevin, it's SOOO big!"

Now that's some fun stuff!

el chupacabra said...

Don- you made me laugh! I thought of you when I made that statement and knew you would actually be the ONE to know Diamond wrote that classic.

Kathleen... said...

Now I'm going to have Red, Red Wiiiiiiine stuck in my head all day. ;-) It's a great song.

Funny stuff, this post.

el chupacabra said...

Kathleen- Sorry, that's one of my dirty tricks to get a song out of my mind. Thanks!

Kathleen... said...

Hey, Chup -- btw, every time I post a comment, I get an error email? I no unnerstan....

el chupacabra said...

Kathleen- I have no idea except maybe since I don't have an email address tied to the open part of my account?
I'll put one up. My sign in account is just that- since it's inactive.

The Accomplice said...

Hey Kevin,

Do you have a facebook? I would love to add. You can find mine by searching murphree76234@yahoo.com

el chupacabra said...

Hey girl- so happy to hear from you! Was just thinking about you. You sent me your invite to your blog long ago after privatized, but dumb machine burned up with out getting into contacts. Been so long and I always appreciated your comments and stories.

I dont have facebook, but will figure something out soon.Take care

Take care!!