There was a huge family in the corner booth at Dennys in Raton NM today (12/28/2017). At 0800 the obnoxious looking 10 year old of the mob erupted into the most heinous- genuinely heinous burp I have ever heard in my life- a burp he followed up by saying, I'm sorry. I'm- so sorrrrrry; excuse me for farting.

So I Am Hangin' Down By The Pool

And this girl notices I am drawing and asks to see what I am working on. I show her- the ships, crayfish, crabs , scorpions and snakes I have drawn that are kinda OK. Oh man they're good! she enthuses. Well, kinda OK I say. Draw me! she says. Well, I don't do people. I wish I could. I try- I am just not that good. The other things make sense to me somehow and I have practiced those things since I was a kid- so yeah they're kinda OK but people- not so much. Draw me anyway! Make me have big boobs! Just for fun. Give it a try.
So I do.
She watches as I draw. After I have outlined the general form of her body I draw her boobs. Then I blacken the bottom to the bikini I am drawing her in (although she was wearing a one piece). She takes notice of the black upside down triangle over her pubic area and says, Yikes, suddenly it is 1975 down there! Well, since you wanted big boobs, I thought you might want to be in a bikini as well.  I reply. Oh cool, good- go ahead. she says.

When I finish she says, Awesome! Now sign and date it. So I did. The rest is history. Signed limited edition prints are available in gift shop as you exit.

 

Wedneday's Digressions

• Last night (12/08/2015) I started the first season of Flight Of The Conchords again. Kristen Schaal steals the show as far as I'm concerned but all the characters are pretty hilarious to me. My guess is FOTC is very much an acid test show- you will love it or hate it.
• A long ago homeless patient still drops by to see me once a year or so. Inevitably, I help him out a little. I do this because it is what I would want people to do for me were I in his shoes but also because he does not abuse the privilege. Recently, he left a candle burning in his hooch and when he came back it was on fire. He asked me for clothes as he lost nearly everything. He may have been lying but the the second+ degree burns on his forearms added a certain credibility to his story. Another plus- he only asked for any cast off clothes I could give him; no money or the moon and stars or anything. He specifically asked for T-shirts and short pants. Could you have said, No? Then you are an inhuman, heartless monster.
• I am practicing overstating my case to prove my point and speaking in absolutes today.
• Recently (today is 04/27/2016) I took some sourdough cookies that had a glaze icing on them and sandwiched two of them with Jifs Cookies n cream and hazelnut spread in between . The awesome nearly caused me to stroke out and I think I did have a bit of a TIA.  It may have been the best thing to happen to me since my last wife left. It occurred to me to name it and create an Internet sensation on Instagram or whatever but The Diabetes was already taken.
• Predators is bad- a really bad movie. Adrian Brody threw on a Batman timbre to his voice to sound hard and tough. It didn't match his appearance even though he was really ripped and looked buff. It seemed very contrived. Special Forces guys are often soft spoken, cerebral types. There should have been a brief back story about how he was a skinny kid who joined the Army... etc. and just talk like himself. As it was it was very distracting.
• I have it all figured out don't I?
• Zac now has his own tent to put up in the backyard and camp out when he wants. It intrigues me to consider the memories that may be made with that cheap little thing. Thirty years from now will he look back on sleeping in it as a favorite memory of simpler times?

Monday's Missives

A joke is to say as you float the Brazos, Around this next bend is a place where you can get a haircut and a shave. OK, so maybe you would have to be there and regardless- I didn't say it was a funny joke.

• At work voicemails often are stored as saved when I have not listened to my messages or even touched the phone. It will do this when my email inbox to which the voicemail is tied is not nearly full and when there is only the one  message in question saved and no others. Also, my phone rings- I can hear it coming from my phone- right in front of me but an incoming call does not appear on the screen and if I pick up no one will be there. Good luck trying to convince anybody of all that weirdness when I miss an important call or fail to return an important voicemail.
• My dividend from REI is worth over 100 bucks.

  

  Somebody at work has someone in her family that believes in a all that essential oils nonsense. Consequently I ended up with some for my back. Did it help? No don't be ridiculous- but it was nice of her. I won't say what the contents made me think of when I first saw it.
• Today (12/18/2015) was the office Xmas party. I would have rather taken a beating. 

• 

  As a subtle form of rebellion I sometimes wear this t shirt under my scrubs at work.

  
  

  

  When I feel tired and/or beat down I sometimes wear these underwear. Yes, I have power panties- don't all the ladies?

• It seems as though my most recent attempt at a relationship is over. Of course the relatively expensive Xmas gift I ordered her online is on the way as I write this and gifts for both myself and my children are under the tree- at her place.
• A bad supervisor story: Once, after a patient left my office I hosed everything down with some air freshener. As I sprayed some in the door frame said supervisor (who was literally sneaking up to try and bust me goofing off) suddenly appeared in front of me. Needless to say the supervisor took a full face blast of industrial strength freshness. I felt awful and told my nursing buddies about it in what was I suppose a more or less confessional act?  During the telling and retellings 100% of the time  there was laughter and I was literally applauded.
• One hundred percent.
• When I put myself in that supervisor's shoes if nothing else I think, I would hate to know anybody would ever think or feel that way about me.

  

  Weird: the female grackle in the foreground chased a bunch of other birds away from another female. She then picked up  a piece of bread and gave it to the second.

  
  

  

  Here, she chases another group of birds away from a water puddle to allow the other bird to get a drink. I have never seen behavior like that before and would have thought a person telling of seeing it happen ridiculously anthropomorphic.

Friday's Dispatch

I ordered ice water. The chick gave me the plain carbonated water. It was nauseating.

• There are some good articles out in the past few years about the remarkable case of Phineas Gage. If you think you know his story and your knowledge comes from Ripley's Believe It Or Not! or half remembered break room trivia- you don't. One person correctly in my view said to the effect, He is a better case study for critical thinking skills than brain injury. People believed what they wanted about the guy.
• Voice to text on this thing is still weird- great- but weird.
• I still have trouble keeping my eyes open when I do it though.
  
• In the zombie apocalypse the man with coffee will be king.
• Why are there hardly any animals in The Walking Dead? The answers I have  heard are not satisfying. There is such a dearth of animals I have presumed it would play a role in the story for later episodes  (which should seem like should have happened by now) or at least it would come out why there are so few of them.
  
• I just read that Lech Walesa is still alive. That surprises me. I could have sworn I read he died.
• From movies to TV to documentaries to YouTube channels with 100s of thousands of subcribers there are a ton of shows hosted by former prisoners. 
• Prison/criminal culture are crazy popular these days in general. 
• There is something to be learned from that truth but I don't know what.
  

Thursday's Thoughts

• When a regime/country has started being compared to the Nazis- you can guess that our social and political betters are wanting us to go to war with them.
• When they say, Think of the children! you can bet they are wanting a war.

  

  The middle lane car has its headlights on but the taillights are not in operation. Over the past couple of years I see this happen on late model cars at least a few times a month. What/why?

• Recently I declined an assignment at work. Why did I do that you ask? Because- the idea of doing said project literally terrified me. I had to tell the person tasked with telling me about the responsibility  the truth about how I felt.
• We compromised- I will step up more and somebody else with more experience will lead the way.
• I'm getting feeble in my old age.
• Actually I sometimes feel and will say- I am just too old for ___________ .
  
• A cool but odd surprise- recently I randomly realised my feelings are a lot stronger for somebody I have known for years than I would I admitted-if put on the spot and asked.
• How did I figger it out!? I had the opportunity within a very few days to defend her reputation, then warn her of sociopolitical maneuvering being made against her and finally I thought there was a chance I might have to defend her against a physical threat and instead of running- I started getting to rumbbbbbbbbbble!
• I did those things without hesitation and as selflessly as I have done anything my life.
• What is the point? Maybe there isn't one. It was just a minor shock to my system that got my attention.

  

  One odd product name

Wednesday's Digressions

• Today a girl at work tool her pullover sweater off in front of me which caused me to reflexively get butterflies in my stomach and a lump in my throat. Weird- some base part of my brain said Whew hoo! We're gonna get to see a naked girl!
• I need to get married or get a girlfriend or somethin'.
• Whoa I kid you not- married up there came out- martyred first.

  

  When I was a
  kid you nearly did not see any of  these tombstone portraits that was not destroyed by BB gunfire.

• Trumps is not going to be satisfied until he ushers in the apocalypse. 

  

  Decaf coffee. Fidget spinners aside- the most useless thing on the planet?!

   
• When you start to argue with a conspiracy theory believer- you have already lost. That is just part of the beauty of their outlook. Another interesting consideration is; the smarter their potential adversary- the less likely they to argue.

• 

  Yep- it is just nearly 2018 and people believe in something called aromatherapy...

• We had a great breakfast this morning at IHOP. They have a new strawberry cheesecake French toast that is pretty awesome.

Monday's Missives

• Today we we toured President Eisenhower's birth home. Maxine, who did the tour was literally amazing from a knowledge standpoint and inspiring in her presentation.
• It was kinda crazy to stand in the bedroom where Ike was born at about 8 PM 127 plus years ago.
• We had lunch at Hateful Hussy's Mining Camp BBQ in Denison
• I had a dish consisting of brisket, onions, jalepenos and cheese over fries which they call Frisket.
• Gaw- I see what you did there...
• Also today 10/21/2017 we camped at Eisenhower State Park. Well, to be more correct-  we put our tent up and got our gear all set for camping. Then we went to eat and took a swim in gorgeous Lake Texhoma. When we got back to our site our gear- all of it was gone.
• I could not believe my eyes.
• So after we made the report with the police we headed out and got a hotel room. About the time we walked in the door I received a call from the park superintendent who reported my gear had been recovered and the thief was on their way to jail. In the morning we can go pick it up.
• This world is a crazy place to live
• Update: The great camping gear cat burglar is a hurricane Harvey refugee. The Texas State park system is allowing them to stay in parks free of charge. She is still in jail as of 10/22/2017 at about noon. 
• She could not have known this- I know but if she had asked, I would have given her everything I had besides the tent itself- and only would have reserved that for myself as she already had a tent and mine is too small for one person to use long term and I would have known she was just running the score up on me if she asked.
• "Be pitiful to everyone you meet for theirs is a hard battle" Ian Maclaren.
• The first quote I thought of when I learned who it was who jacked my stuff and why our paths crossed.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  

  This kid got the lifesaving ring from the pool stuck around his body. I wasn't so sure it would not have to be cut off.

  
  
  
  
  
  

Thursday's Thoughts

I was in and out the main door 2 or 3 times before I noted there were 3 doors- one to convert the room to a suite and the other for the restroom. Weird.

• I'm sitting in my truck waiting for a class to begin for a new computer system that we're using at work. There is every chance if offered the choice I might take a beating instead of walking in those doors at 8 this morning.
• So-called teacher is a UnAmerican guy that is nice enough I suppose but yesterday he just launched into reading his spiel while simultaneously demonstrating how the system worked on a screen in front of the class. It took about 45 seconds for him to lose me. I just sat there in stunned silence for 4 hours and then staggered out to my truck- I don't even really remember much of the day in general much less how any part of that system works. He only told us he was giving an overview and to not get too hung up on the process in the final 30-40 minutes of the class. 
• Very odd.

  

  Someone in my office did some cleaning and found this. When I asked what it was she replied, It's a penis enlarger- you want to try it? No- yes. Well, I don't want to be first. Did you try it? I said. No thanks- mine is long enough... she replied.

• I had dinner with an old friend last night. It was great.
• He has been my best friend for 20 years.
• He recalled a time when we were poor that his truck broke down so I drove over to Fort Worth and helped him tow it to the Ford shop. I barely remember it but he thanked me again for that small bit of kindness.
• We have no idea the affect we can have on folks with just a little effort.

  

  Random shorts on the ground.

• For some reason I can no longer nap at work- although on the weekends at home I am the nap champion.
• A lot of hugely fat people are walking by on their way to work.

  

  Pith helmets are super practical and super goofy.

EVA from ISS and other big deals over next 24 hours

Monday's Missives

• It is 0623 on 12/10/2017. We are at Fort Richardson State Park and the sun is just trying to come up.
• We did the ghosts of Xmas past last night. It was OK but nothing like previous years.
• In a stroke of genius I chose a cabin instead of a tent for our lodging last night.
  
• Yesterday I saw a painted bunting for the first time in my life.

  

  Best part of fall/winter- found coat pocket money baby!
  

• Zac played with kids camping next door until nearly 10 o'clock last night. I asked one where he was from from. Texas! was his reply. 

  

  Strawberry cheesecake French toast- what a time to be alive.

• The stars were incredibly bright overnight.
• Zac builds the fires when we camp nowadays.
• Nowadays- one weird word.

  

  I still have books from the bookstore I bought on post in Bad Hersfeld in 1985 or 1986.

• I emailed a couple of guys from my Army days at Bad Hersfeld Germany last night. One address was long dead but still hope to hear from the other. 
• One was the armorer. He was from Mount Pisgah South Carolina. After getting gigged on my weapon once again I asked him to show me what he expected and how to get there. Another time I happened to ask him what was going on- he indicated he was stressing over an impending inspection. I told him I had nothing else better to do- I would help him. We touched weapons up and listened to country music and talked about fishing for a few hours. Consequently- after that day when we came out of the field I would just hand my weapon off to him and I'd walk out and go party. He would not even look at it.
• Life pro tip: Learn what wheels to grease kids.
  

Thursday's Thoughts

Needle and a spoon on  the dash of my truck. I wonder what the cops would think about that?

• Wendy's makes some pretty good salads.

  

  I won't say what I first thought I saw when I saw this white board out of the corner of my eye.

• Today one of my brand new tires was low when I went outside, so I went to my local convenience store to use the air compressor- in the pouring rain. Pouring rain which predictably stopped as soon as I got it aired up and was getting back in the truck.
• Pro tip: after you get new tires if one of them is low soon afterwards- when you air it up fill it about 10 pounds over recommended pressure and then let the air back out down to where it needs to be.

  

  The first bite I've ever taken from one of those candy coated donuts in my whole life. Verdict: Meh.

• One of my ex's had real nice legs and super pretty feet. Coincidentally, she liked to ride with her bare feet resting up on the dash of the car. Two or three different times we busted dudes just staring at her feet like total freak shows. One actually drifted over into our lane and nearly hit us- and he still couldn't take his eyes off of her legs and feet.
• He Looked mesmerized.
• Although it was at least 20 years ago-  I can picture that scene like it was yesterday. 
• That still trips me out.



Evolution did a good job on this little guy. He even has fake lichen on his back. You just about could not see him against the log I caught him under. And against the bark of the tree he would have done well also I think.

• It still trips me out...
• This morning 10/23/2017 I took note of a coworkers nice haircut and gave her a compliment- a compliment I oddly backed up by asking if she did it herself...
• Fail.
• Holy smokes- fail.

  

  Does not look appealing to me.

• I'm supposed to go dove hunting this year for the first time in years.
• Zac can pop his back like mad.
• The spoon was from a parfait I ate in the truck. I tossed up it there to take into work and drop in the recycles. The needle is clean- it was from me drawing a shot up and changing the needle for injection into the patient. I dropped the capped and clean (not sterile) needle in my pocket intending to place it a sharps on returning to my office. I placed it on the dash to drop in a sharps container the next day.
• So yeah- It was a legit, albeit slightly sketchy looking scene.
• One of my favorite songs.

You Gotta Laugh

- when you're the joke.