Monday's Missives

A joke is to say as you float the Brazos, Around this next bend is a place where you can get a haircut and a shave. OK, so maybe you would have to be there and regardless- I didn't say it was a funny joke.

• At work voicemails often are stored as saved when I have not listened to my messages or even touched the phone. It will do this when my email inbox to which the voicemail is tied is not nearly full and when there is only the one  message in question saved and no others. Also, my phone rings- I can hear it coming from my phone- right in front of me but an incoming call does not appear on the screen and if I pick up no one will be there. Good luck trying to convince anybody of all that weirdness when I miss an important call or fail to return an important voicemail.
• My dividend from REI is worth over 100 bucks.

  

  Somebody at work has someone in her family that believes in a all that essential oils nonsense. Consequently I ended up with some for my back. Did it help? No don't be ridiculous- but it was nice of her. I won't say what the contents made me think of when I first saw it.
• Today (12/18/2015) was the office Xmas party. I would have rather taken a beating. 

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  As a subtle form of rebellion I sometimes wear this t shirt under my scrubs at work.

  
  

  

  When I feel tired and/or beat down I sometimes wear these underwear. Yes, I have power panties- don't all the ladies?

• It seems as though my most recent attempt at a relationship is over. Of course the relatively expensive Xmas gift I ordered her online is on the way as I write this and gifts for both myself and my children are under the tree- at her place.
• A bad supervisor story: Once, after a patient left my office I hosed everything down with some air freshener. As I sprayed some in the door frame said supervisor (who was literally sneaking up to try and bust me goofing off) suddenly appeared in front of me. Needless to say the supervisor took a full face blast of industrial strength freshness. I felt awful and told my nursing buddies about it in what was I suppose a more or less confessional act?  During the telling and retellings 100% of the time  there was laughter and I was literally applauded.
• One hundred percent.
• When I put myself in that supervisor's shoes if nothing else I think, I would hate to know anybody would ever think or feel that way about me.

  

  Weird: the female grackle in the foreground chased a bunch of other birds away from another female. She then picked up  a piece of bread and gave it to the second.

  
  

  

  Here, she chases another group of birds away from a water puddle to allow the other bird to get a drink. I have never seen behavior like that before and would have thought a person telling of seeing it happen ridiculously anthropomorphic.

Monday's Missives

How to tell if pasketti noodles are done- take a strand and throw it against the cabinet door. If it sticks you're good to go.

• 11/24/2013 My moms first name was Vera- she hated it. 
• It is freezing rain outside. Although it is a ridiculous thought because I would be miserable, I wish I were in a tent somewhere dragging myself out of a sleeping bag.
• The best Army slang for anything? A sleeping bag is called a fart sack. Isn't that the best?

  

  I found this little skull, drilled it out and glued it onto this pencil and gave it to the medical records clerk in my office for Halloween.

  
  

  

  Found in Town Creek. Those are crumbled up soda crackers. 

  
  
  
• 11/23/2013 at 2132 there is a simply awful SYFY movie on called Stonado. The premise seems to be there is a tornado that is full of stones. Said stones explode when they're touched after landing. There are not words for how terrible that movie is. The actors seem mostly competent but literally mortified to be in that abortion of a movie.
• We had passable crepes at the Country Ranch Cafe (I think that is what it is called) on Main street. The coffee was exquisitely terrible though. It was so bad it was interesting to savor the flavor and ruminate over the cup- it even smelled bad.
• Last night (11/22/2013) I went into the attic to oil that screaming turbine. There was a grizzly bear wolverine squirrel face to face with me when I first drug myself up. He was huge. I didn't get a picture but I did get a picture of the sparrow it had torn to shreds and left in front of it's nest. He stretched himself out behind a joist to hide from me after leaving the nest.

  

  Camping pro tip: Shove silk underwear and a beanie into a pair of wool socks and roll them up in your sleeping bag.  They'll make a little pillow when it isn't too cold and be easier to find and be all in spot to get into them easily when it is freezing up in there.

  
  
  
• We went to Copper Creek last night (11/20/2013). The food was good, the atmosphere great and the music awesome. Kirk House was there jamming. We carried the last part of the show with him by making all the requests. I requested Jolene- in the manner of Jack White. He played around with it for a minute but felt like he hadn't practiced it enough to play it publicly. We requested Country Boy Can Survive. He busted out laughing and said, OK, I'll try not to blackify this too much but if I do, don't hold it against me- it just comes natural. He is a good, super talented guy.
• I want  love to walk right up and bite me grab a hold of me and fight me leave me dying on the ground.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Wednesday's Digressions

• There is no way that Storage War shows is real. I have caught parts of two episodes. In each there was something so outlandishly impossible I just groaned and wondered how anybody could be a fan. In one unit there was a beautiful Dodge Challenger.  If you honestly believe a storage business operator wouldn't have found that thing when he first  popped that lock (as he would without waiting for a camera crew) and and wouldn't have given that thing to his 25 year old girlfriend, started driving it himself or at the very least sold it on it's own merit you're as crazy all the people who calls a friend who owns a storage business 10 or 20 times a week and say, I just watched this show, Storage Wars and was wondering when you're going to have an auction...
• My niece graduated high school this year
• An office worker where I was a nurse once face and hands fairly rapidly blew up once and she would get out of breath easily. How did we miss she was going downhill with heart failure? There were 5 nurses in that clinic any day and sometimes more. It must have been something about the context- she worked in the office of a director of a large clinic. We chatted occasionally and were all I would say friendly but she was friends with none of the nurses. The dumbest of us if she had been a patient would have seen that for what it was and been ready to nudge the doc toward the diagnosis if we were calling her case in and try to get her something to strip those fluids off and then have the heart evaluated.
• We tried to watch The Hobbit.  It was terrible. I think we lasted 11 minutes. There really didn't need to be another movie in the LOTR line. The LOTR trilogy was perfect: there was a beginning, a middle and an end. They came together to make a great story and they were all great on their own.
• Movie watching pro tip: if you knew a character from a series of movies wasn't going to be in the prequel (or otherquel- whatever) and in the first few minutes they show that character obviously using stock or rerun footage and especially if it seems clumsy or contrived you might as well turn it off and move along my friend- there is nothing to see there.
• I personally know 3 people who have been hit by lion fish. All 3 described it as being like getting hit by electricity and/or a red hot poker. All said it was the worst pain they ever felt. All 3 developed infections as a result. Two of them got hit because they misjudged where the fish was because of refraction, the others fish was unusually aggressive and came from other side of the tank to hit the guy. One was a doc who rapidly cleaned the wounds and still, he was dragging himself out of bed at 3 the next morning and taking his feverish, balloon hand to the emergency department. 

  

  I don't believe had ever seen a dually van before that fateful day in Mineral Wells State Park. I will never be the same.

  
  
  
  
  

  

  Unfortunate tarantula who became lunch was unfortunate. I had never seen ones fang before though so there is something to be said for that I guess.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  

  Behold, the mallow of the marsh! Sacrifice it in the fire of purification.

  
  

  

  The bridge at Natural Bridge Caverns

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  

  LBJ's family home place in Johnson City

• One of my favorite covers of War Pigs- Dresden Dolls live at Paradise Rock Club Boston MA.

Friday's Dispatch

• Fire And Rain by J.T. There are definitely worse ways to start your day. I have a DVD from this performance at the Beacon Theater- it's about as good as it gets.
• I don't do well feeling lost and without knowing my purpose so I consequently try to stay on a path that keeps me from having to feel that way. I am questioning some things recently though. One question I'm avoiding that is a trap I could easily fall into is, Why me?
• A woman I met a few months ago reminded me sometimes you have people for little moments in time- you learn something, you give- you take and even if you wanted more you have to realize the parting wasn't a failure- you both gained something. It wasn't an accident your lives brushed against each other for that moment in time.
• Do they still make Coca Cola Blak? It was Coke mixed with coffee and it was tumultuous. It only came in glass and was hard to find when it was available. Once you developed a taste for it it was addictive.
• I've always thought epiphany should be spelled epiphine.
• Stained- It's Been Awhile.
  
  
  

  

  Spiny lizard demonstrating his awesome camouflage.

  
  

  

  I believe this is the third new gun I have ever bought.

  
  

  

  Three of us living in different buildings have received mail for Laszlo Hunyadi at different times.

  
  

  

  I found this in the glove box of the Beemer. It must be 2 years old and  is as hard as a rock.

  
  

  

  They whip air into the product, give it a cool name and sell it for the same price as products with twice the actual ingredients: genius.

  
  
  
  

Title: Some Kind Of Crab Looking Spider On A Flower

click to enlarge. Don't worry he won't bite- unless cornered