Mondays Morbid Missives

• I could walk into any families life at the point of a family members death and be able to give you a pretty accurate picture of that persons spiritual life based on the reaction of their family at the point of his death.



• Two thoughts occurred to me after my last patient expired: 1) What a relief it can be for the family when they are finally gone- I mean a palpable, visible and total relief- a release even. 2) When a big, physically and imposing in demeanor person is sad and really lets go and sobs why does the situation always seem so much more sad?



• I slept for 15 hours straight after that case.



• Apparent deep sleep doesn't necessarily indicate comfort in the terminal patient- in fact the person who appears in a deep sleep may be in agony and sleep an attempt of an overwhelmed brain to give a patient some relief. Look instead at the persons expression: do they look peaceful or is there a pinched or grimaced look? Are their blood pressure and pulse elevated way above normal? Certain conditions are inherently terribly painful and frequently under medicated, a few that come to mind are, bone, stomach, pancreas and liver cancer. Is the person cold and clammy? Are they irritable when awakened? Have they turned their heads away and/or covered their faces?



• A recent patient who seemed to be "sleeping an awful lot' according to family and exhibiting some other symptoms made me think they were agony and not being properly medicated. After some convincing, the family allowed me to treat the patient with morphine. Not only was her overwhelming pain relieved but, due to morphines mechanism of action the breathing trouble she had been experiencing due to her failing heart was relieved and within 24 hours of starting continuous care she was up and about with assistance, eating well and in fact was decertified from continuous care and placed on routine care.



• When I commit to a family to stay with their loved one to the end it's like an uplifting beating. Does that make sense? I feel so good but, so much pressure.



• There are varying qualities of nurses in hospice just like any other nursing (or any profession) but, I really feel all in all hospice nurses are a cut above any other. In this vein this last patient and his family were very lucky (blessed?) to consistently have the best nurses I've ever encountered every day and shift from case managers to the night shift nurse who stepped up for one single night to provide coverage.



• I like to hear,"He would have loved to have known you." regarding patients whom I know I would have liked to meet when they were healthy.



• When providing foods for the family of a dying or dead person and wondering what to send you could do a lot worse than to send desserts and coffee or other caffeinated drinks. Both are very good to help sad folks feel better and inspire conversation and openness.



• Smells are very important to address as a person is dying for several reasons. When a person is emotional smells get locked into the brain and associated with memories and this can be used to advantage. If the dying is clean, comfortable, well presented and with a little of a nice cologne and maybe a scented candle in the room, as those left behind encounter these smells afterward throughout their life they will have good memories of the person who died.



• I use these thoughts when I lay them out here for simple expression, to get things off my chest and maybe teach a little. I hope I'm never seen as fishing for compliments.
• If you have a loved one who even just might be dying related to old age or a normally terminal illness I cannot stress with you enough how much it will help to request a hospice consult. The consult doesn't mean they will necessarily enter hospice services but, you'll be surprised how much the information you can gather may help. A fresh set of eyes and thought processes can help adjust medicines, recommend therapies etc. that will improve their lives no matter what.



• It means a lot when I care for a patient who is local although, I've still yet to care for anyone I've known personally.



• I get requested personally by friends and family of previous patients and of course by nurses I've met in facilities as they lose family members, however I've been requested recently by name through my agency by people whom I've not encountered as far as I know- they've just heard of me. That's both complimentary and a little unnerving.



• A mother and daughter relatives of a lady I recently cared for are going to go to nursing school (I think) together as a result of our interaction, my suggestion, encouragement and education of how they could make it work.



• Two more lives I've ruined.

Music Video Extra Vaganza O Rama The Special Sunday Edition

A favorite music video for my favorite song by a favorite band. Fine Again- very good stuff by Seether.

It seems like every day’s the same

and I’m left to discover on my own

It seems like everything is gray

and there’s no color to behold

They say it’s over and I’m fine again,

yeah Try to stay sober

feels like I’m dying here

and I am aware now of how

everything’s gonna be fine one day

Too late, I’m in hell

I am prepared now,

seems everyone’s gonna be fine

One day too late,

just as well

I feel the dream in me expire

and there’s no one left to blame it on

I hear you label me a liar

‘cause I can’t seem to get this through

You say it’s over,

I can sigh again,

yeah

Why try to stay sober when I’m dying here

And I am aware now of how everything’s gonna be fine

one day Too late,

I’m in hell

I am prepared now,

seems everyone’s gonna be fine

One day too late; just as well

And I’m not scared now.

I must assure you,

you’re never gonna get away

And I’m not scared now.

And I’m not scared now.

No…I am aware now of how

everything’s gonna be fine one day

Too late, I’m in hell

I am prepared now

seems everyone’s gonna be fine

One day too late,

just as well

I am prepared now,

seems everything’s gonna be fine for me

For me; for myself.

For me, for me, for myself

For me, for me, for myself

Saturday's Summary

• I unintentionally wrote Zacs name as Zak on a post and didn't catch it until after I posted it.
• Very weird feeling when I read it.
• Zac is getting his first haircut soon. He is sO0oooo getting a mullet. I mean a one for the ages mullet.
• I've seen three women in as many weeks with a Kate Gosselin hairdo. Good grief.
• PS Jon or whatever your name is (was) I could have told you that marriage was kaput.
• The minute I saw the wifey showing showing off her toned, tanned, bikini wearing body and splashing around on some beach.
• No woman ever lost an ounce of weight, spent a minute in a gym or a tanning bed for her present man.
• File this one under if I'm lyin' I'm dyin'. I heated a cup of coffee in the microwave while putting this post together. I noticed an ant in the oven when I opened the door and thought I'd just clean its irradiated corpse out when my delicious warm beverage was ready. However, that was not to be as it lived through one minute on high setting and in fact fell off the side of my cup somewhere between the kitchen and my desk where I intended to take its picture on same for posterity.
• It's out there in the no mans land between the kitchen and my bedroom morphing and mutating...
• Got to stop drinking so much coffee and watching bad sci-fi when work messes my sleep schedule up.
• Heated came out eated the first time.
• "I eated"
• Doi
• People often ask,"How do I know whether to spell out numbers or just use the numeral?"
• Spell out single-digit whole numbers. Use numerals for numbers greater than nine. Examples: I need one hole in the head. I want 10 girlfriends.
• Regardless, be consistent throughout with the pattern you've chosen.
• True story. Was fondly recalling a trip to San Antonio I took with a woman- specifically being the last and only two people on the riverboat ride on which the guy made an extra lap and for which he did not even charge me and was about halfway through reminiscing when I saw the murderous- absolutely straight up, put a small caliber bullet in your brain and dump the corpse in a shallow grave- murder and never think twice about it look in her eye- and then, I realised she wasn't the woman I was with!
• D'oh!
• I thought I was going to choke on my tongue. I mean literally- it seemed to swell up, the room got smaller, definitely hotter and started spinning.
• No, that relationship didn't last much longer.
• We live and learn- right?
• Or don't.

Friday's Dispatch

• "‘Octomom’ is repulsively grim 2 hours of TV
  Nadya Suleman’s life with 14 kids looks like a ceaseless hell of chaos"



• That was the headline for an article I just read and here's the opening paragraph.



• "You knew we were headed into Creepy Crazyville when, in the opening moments of “Octomom,” Nadya Suleman was bringing home the first two of her octuplets and she’s told paparazzi are closing in on her car. What does she do after covering the babies with a blanket? She puts on make-up for the photographers she’s “avoiding.” ew.com



• The 30 to 45 seconds of the excerpt I watched was enough to make me feel dirty.



• On that note: shows like that have been called "bad parent porn"


• Women who have the messed up lips like octomoms freak me out. I start staring at only their lips when they speak and they appear to move all funny and seem to have a mind of their own and be all over the place.


• It doesn't help any that I really noticed that the other day when my hearing aids were down and I had to watch her lips.


• Teddy Kennedy is dead. I remember thinking during the 80's when he was swollen, his eyes would be bloodshot and he would be trying to make a comment on something and not be making any sense- "Where are his friends? There must be thousands of people who would like to think of themselves as his friend and people are letting him destroy himself..." etc. I am honestly surprised he didn't drink himself to death.


• When sober though he was one of the best modern political speakers. President Obama has an undeserved reputation for same but, honestly it's his velvety cigarette smokers voice and scripted presentation that got him there. No one could match Teddys enthusiasm, sincerity and ability in off the cuff, extemporaneous speaking. Also, he had a pleasant enough sounding voice when he kept his Hahvahd Yahd patrician accent under wraps.


• People to continue to drag up the Mary Jo Kapeckne/Chappaquiddick issue- always have and always will, I suppose. I've never heard what her family thinks or thought about the issue though. The fact is never mentioned were it not for her death Teddy Kennedy may have been President at one time. Actually, although debatable- in my opinion it is nearly certain he would have been President.

Music Video Extra Vaganza O Rama

If you have ever thought I wish I could get Bob Dylan or at least hear one song I could understand and appreciate what he's saying - this will help. Supposedly, some of his songs- even 30 years after their divorce, are veiled references to his wife Sara.

From the 1974 album Planet Waves.

I love you more than ever,

more than time and more than love,

I love you more than money

and more than the stars above,

Love you more than madness,

more than dreams upon the sea,

Love you more than life itself,

you mean that much to me.

Ever since you walked right in,

the circle's been complete,

I've said goodbye to haunted rooms

and faces in the street,

To the courtyard of the jester

which is hidden from the sun,

I love you more than ever and I haven't yet begun.

You breathed on me and made my life a richer one to live,

When I was deep in poverty you taught me how to give,

Dried the tears up from my dreams and pulled me from the hole,

I love you more than ever and it binds me to the soul

You gave me babies one, two, three, what is more, you saved my life,

Eye for eye and tooth for tooth, your love cuts like a knife,

My thoughts of you don't ever rest,

they'd kill me if I lie,

I'd sacrifice the world for you and watch my senses die.

The tune that is yours and mine to play upon this earth,

We'll play it out the best we know, whatever it is worth,

What's lost is lost,

we can't regain what went down in the flood,

But happiness to me is you and I love you more than blood.

It's never been my duty to remake the world at large,

Nor is it my intention to sound a battle charge,

'Cause I love you more than all of that with a love that doesn't bend,

And if there is eternity I'd love you there again.

Oh, can't you see that you were born to stand by my side

And I was born to be with you, you were born to be my bride,

You're the other half of what I am, you're the missing piece

And I love you more than ever with that love that doesn't cease.

You turn the tide on me each day and teach my eyes to see,

Just bein' next to you is a natural thing for me

And I could never let you go, no matter what goes on,

'Cause I love you more than ever now that the past is gone.

First Day Of School

She: Does this mean swimming lessons are over? He: Finally get to be around some cool people. Little He: Can I have a sippy cup? I'm poopy.

Your Bugalistic Moment

June bugs and click beetles partaking of a watermelon down at pond.

PS- I just clicked on this bugalicious image myself for the first time. You can practically hear the little bug feet scratching against the other bug bodies while they make an,"Om, nom, nom, nom- slurp." sound with their bug mouths!

Something About Me

I take at least two showers a day.

Monday's Missives

• Just came in from working on the yard and getting some sun and was surprised to find my two oldest sitting in the den watching a movie together like human beings and not strangling each other or setting the furniture on fire.



• They were so incognito I thought they must be getting in late from the school bus.



• Literally



• Three of my neighbors have jeeps.



• Luckies



• The one I owned in my previous life would punk theirs in a minute.



• That's alright though, good things will come back to me- right?



• Please say yes.



• Always fascinates me to see people who are business owners who seem to have no interest in being in business. Went in to an antique store yesterday to look for books. The guy rolled his eyes and sighed like he was dealing with a mentally challenged guy the group home gave 5.00 dollars to and took shopping for life enrichment therapy. I've done well at other antique stores buying books- high percentage of what ends up in them is often history,autobiographies and biographies which is what I'm into and the prices are often cheaper than a used bookstore. I would guess I've spent at least say, a couple of hundred dollars at antique stores for books in my life and have bought other things from that particular store in the past.



• Never again.



• Speaking of books, Recycled Books in Denton TX RAWKS! They must have a million books in stock and are very helpful and have a laid back atmosphere and attitude. Music and DVDs were too expensive in the past but, I'll see if there's been a price correction since I've been there last.



• I love how the store snakes around, in and out of other spaces they've acquired and up stairs and down into the basement.



• I'm going to go spend money there this weekend.



• They have a rare books section that makes me salivate and rock back and forth wishing for a lottery win.



• Think a good investment maight be in a big DVD collection from someone who changed over to Blueray and a new DVD player. Going to keep that one in the back of my mind.



• I love how the people we fight (and will always be fighting) essentially equate women with a piece of property that carries children and in our military culture they are equal in rights and opportunities to men. On my crew in Iraq my assigned machine gunner was often a female Marine. Stone cold killer- who could operate and maintain that gun as well as anybody. I would have gone anywhere in combat with her and in fact did hand picked her over many of the men in my platoon during planning sessions for operations.



• There were some very nice complimentary aspects to that story that I'll never forget. She was assigned to my squad because I was trusted to treat a subordinate female properly and also to keep her alive. She also because of her respect for my abilities and pride in our accomplishments campaigned her command for more patrol action and asked me to do the same with my unit and have her be my dedicated gunner.



• People give me way more credit than I deserve.

Zac: A Study In Agony (With Carrots In His Pie-Hole)

Dear God in heaven- President Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Eric Bana, SOME body puhleeeeease save me from this man calling himself my father!

How To Give Your Hospice Nurse A Stroke (or at least a mild heart attack)

The niece who was the primary caregiver of a long ago patient and I were standing at his bedside talking after I called her in following his expiration. As I was telling her what his last moments were like she suddenly jumped back and with her hands in front of her mouth and almost in a shrieking voice said,"He's alive! He's breathing! He's breathing!" Very calmly and professionally I swallowed my tongue and said,"What?!" while dropping both my stethoscope and drink to the floor. Of course- he was long dead, his body rapidly cooling and his color turning to a lovely shade of pale gray with a purple/blue lip color an emo kid would die for- but, in that second- time seemed to stop then go backward to me literally jumping through hoops like a circus dog- although the circus was nursing school and I was doing it for my clinical instructor while she laughed like the devil and fire shot up all around her while her pointed tail flicked back and forth over her head. Then time shot forward to a courtroom where a smug lawyer who looked about 12 years old pointed to me and said,"This nurse- if you want to call him that called this lovely, devastated family to the bedside as they rested in a nearby waiting room from their days long vigil at the patients bedside and said,"He's dead, dead, dead and laughed at their pain! But, being such a terrible nurse and human being the patient was alive and in fact made a full recovery and in fact is sitting here in this court room ladies and gentlemen!" while there I sat in a chair between the judge and jury looking greener than that patient, sweat spraying from under my hairline like a slapstick comedy character. Then forward a little further and the Board Of Nursing reps come to my home personally in their brown uniforms with crossed hammers inside an Obama O patches on the sleeves and begin stripping me of my identification badge, pens, light and stethoscope while saying,"You don't deserve to wear these!" ripping them off my scrubs and throwing them in a pile at my feet. Then time flashes forward again and I see myself feeding my children out of a dumpster...

Then I snap out of it, put one of my hands on his chest to show I'm taking her concern seriously and checking to make sure he's gone and the other on her shoulder for comfort and to get her attention and say,"Lori, even though in some ways you were ready for him to go- you and he were very important to each other and it's hard to grasp he's gone. I understand. This happens a lot. We are used to seeing people breathing and part of us may be wanting so hard for it to be true it even looks like they are breathing but, no he's gone. I checked and rechecked already to make sure but, he's gone and I'm sorry."

I then left the room to give her and her mom some time with the body to calm themselves and reassure each other while beginning to try and come to terms with their loss.

Friday's Dispatch

• "Opportunistic charlatans" saw this phrase in an article related to a ransom demand for the Russian ship that disappeared for nearly three weeks.


• I like the sound of those words together- maybe that would be a cool band name?


• The Russians have lost one of their Russian Knights pilots and two aircraft as they rehearsed for an airshow." The Kremlin identified the dead pilot as Col. Igor Tkachenko, commander of the Russian Knights. " ap


• Could his name have been more- Russian sounding? It almost sounds like a caricature, like a character out of a 1980s Tom Clancy novel.


• "As the Russians and Amercains played their deadly game of cat and mouse Col. Igor Tkachenko spoke into the intercom saying,"Tonight comerades, we make history..."


• The single most important video you will ever watch on the yoochoobs- I promise this will change your life!


• When Zac needs to be held now he comes to me with up stretched arms and says,"I need to hold- you!"

Some Things You Should Know About Randall "Tex Cobb

Not just another pretty face


Born in Bridge City TX he was raised in Abilene and attended ACU before leaving home to train as a kick boxer.







"After piling up 9 straight wins as a kickboxer, he entered the world of professional boxing. His boxing debut was on January 21, 1977, in El Paso, Texas, where he knocked out Pedro Vega. Cobb went on to win 13 straight fights by 1979, all by KO. On November 26, 1982, he fought champion boxer Larry Holmes for the WBC World Heavyweight title at Houston's Astrodome. Cobb suffered a unanimous decision defeat at the hands of Holmes, who won all 15 rounds on two of three scorecards. The bloody one-sidedness of the fight so horrified sportscaster Howard Cosell that he vowed never to cover another professional match, which Cobb jokingly referred to as his "gift to the sport of boxing". His sense of humor was revealed when he was asked if he would consider a rematch. Cobb quipped that he did not think that Holmes would agree, as Holmes' "hands could not take it." When he was interviewed after the Holmes fight someone asked how he could fight someone whose arms were a foot longer than his were. Cobb joked back, "Oh it seemed that way to you too". wikipedia





I knew a particular vicious fight was what took Cosell away from calling boxing- had I forgotten it was Cobb V Holmes?





Here is a six minute clip of that match. If you can watch it without getting misty...

"His pro-boxer record totaled 52 fights, 43 wins (36 by KO), 7 losses (1 by KO), 1 draw and 1 No Contest. The NC was originally a TKO win for Cobb, however the results were changed when both fighters tested positive for cocaine." boxrec.com/imdb



He is also an actor with his greatest role- hands down being The Lone Biker Of The Apocalypse in Raising Arizona.



Oh also, yes- he's still alive as I wrote this. If you are a fan at all every so often you'll hear he has died.



I hope he lives forever.





He's tough enough.

Wednesday's Digressions

• "Alright guys. If we get hit, we're falling back to this building. I said pointing. We'll take that upper floor, call for the trucks and wait. No matter what- stay - together - and shoot - back! You got me?"
• I almost hate that I'll never get to say cool things like that again.
• Well, I still do but, the people in the grocery store sure do look at me funny.
• Seriously- I'll never, ever forget the look on a couple of their faces.
• They loved me.
• Man oh man- in that second I got it.
• Prediction: Chevrolet will make a sportier, high performance version of the Volt electric car.
• And call it the Jolt.
• You read it here first.
• My children have the game machine that you can wave a remote around and it acts like a bat, gun, club or racket etc.
• They will go days and sometimes weeks without touching it at all.
• Wouldn't it be something if our collection of knowledge, experience, skills and contribution to the arts and fellow man were what defined us- I mean each of us in our own ways but, the accumulation of junk was just well- junk and money was used to feed ourselves and others while really accomplishing things?



• If you are a male whose been through a divorce in America- specifically Texas I hear and see a lot (yes, surprised me too- for some reason) and has owned a home that burned to the ground you think about things like the above.



• Empathy, sympathy and perspective can be expensive.
• In more ways than one.

Surprise Giggle

"Roller, you are crossing over to the dark side. ;-) Don't worry about it. Conservatives are cool. And the ladies are prettier and cleaner."opus 6 hot conservative blogger and very fertile female. On this soldiers blog.

Title: Some Kind Of Crab Looking Spider On A Flower

click to enlarge. Don't worry he won't bite- unless cornered

Monday's Missives

Made me slow down and think.

• "I love music I play guitar,keyboard and I sing. Some drums. I draw animae and hate pukeing :D lol"


• From a blog profile. I'm with you on that one honey- I totally hate pukeing!


• "Bugarin's defense attorney says her client is a "get-things-done kind of woman" who recognized what she did was wrong." ap


• I guess so on both accounts: Bugarin is the woman from Cali. just sentenced for running multiple abortion clinics and practicing medicine without a license.


• There are few questions that can't be answered or situations that can't be solved with one carefully punctuated word: Jetpack!


• A little unsure? Try, Jetpack?


• While playing outside the baby and his sister he caught a pill bug. If he dropped it she would pick it up for him and if he thought she had it too long he would angrily scream,"My beetle!"


• If you or anyone in the government really believe the Mexican drug cartels are getting their weapons from quasi legal sources in the US you are all Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Don't really like throwing a semi personal gauntlet down like that but, the belief in that theory is crazy, completely politically motivated and an individual who believes it will literally believe anything.


• I personally know two people who have a misspelled tattoo.


• Yes, it changes how you perceive them.


• When I see one of those SLOW kids at play signs I always picture a bunch of doofus's staggering around, drooling, eating dirt and having balls hit them in the face while they say things like,"Deet da dee."
• Recent case was in a dump of a house in a bad neighborhood. My patient had a lot of friends who'd drop by unannounced and unknocked. As in a lot of those areas there was a conglomeration of apartments, houses converted into apartments and duplexes surrounding each other. The unit my patient lived in had at least 3 outside doors. I tried locking the doors. At least one acted locked from inside but, obviously not the outside. People would just appear in the house. As in literally- you look up and there's some crackhead staggering around outside the bedroom door saying towards the patient, " Hey cockaroach- wachoo doin? You better get on up outtta that bed!"
• With a long ago girl friend I lost a baby. It was a little, little baby- she was only a few weeks along. One night the girl got sick and went to the bathroom and the baby spontaneously aborted and was expelled into the toilet.
• I always think of the baby as a girl. Think of her often. Think of her as a sister to my children. Miss her.
• I'm not so sure what I think about all that.

Friday's Dispatch

• I love sweet stuff but, hardly ever eat regular candy- I like cakes, pies, ice cream and fruits however, I am and have been for days- craving Skittles.
  
• Absolutely, all I can think about, I had dreams about them last night and I'm tempted to leave the house solely to get some if the cravings get any worse. I'm craving them.
  
• A patients family member drunk dialed me the other night and asked me out. It's interesting how she got my number. Before we took over she had been sole caregiver to the patient for months. Her much needed break for the afternoon was to be taking her niece school clothes shopping. Before she left she came to patients room and said,"I guess you have my number on the chart don't you in case you need me? Realizing I didn't know- I checked, "555 555 5555?" I asked after looking. She said," Call me, so I can recognize your number- just in case" About 1:00 am the next morning there was a very mellow, very sultry- very tipsy sounding voice on the other end of the line saying,"Oh my gosh, I'm soooo sorry- I totally purse dialed you. Welllll since you're here. What are you doin'?"
• Craziest loosely associated in home event? The family member who dropped to her knees and walked that way nearly into my knees- literally as in I had to roll the chair back as she came toward me. She then shuffled around in some file cabinets in front of me then while walking away said, " I should have known better than doing that- after my surgery." I politely inquired what kind of surgery- as I think she intended. She stopped and said," I was in a car wreck." and pulled her pants down showing me a scar on her lower back.
• Oh and her entire hiney.

Wednesdays Digressions

• "It was a load off of our shoulders," said Edwin Shelly, whose daughter was Ross' seventh victim. "The hate is gone because there is no one to hate." msnbc
• The above relates to a case where a killer sat on death row for 20 years before becoming the first person executed in New England in 45 years when he was killed by the state of Connecticut.
• In my opinion the main thing I think that should concern when reading Edwin Shelley's statement is that feeling the way he reports in these situations is rare- from an abused child whose tormentor died before the victims hate was resolved or yes, even post the execution of a a family members murderer, people often report having no lasting relief after the death of the person they hated so much- precisely because there' nothing and no one to direct the hate at any longer.
• "The study, published in Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology, found that people are far more likely to kill themselves in the middle of the week than in the beginning or the end: almost 25 percent of suicides occur on Wednesdays as compared to 14 percent on Mondays or Saturdays, the two days tied for second-highest suicide rates. " msnbc
• I'm somewhat allergic to cats. If there is one around and in a clean house I'm usually OK but, put two or three in there and it could be vacuumed more often? Agony and misery. What to do when I encounter cat homes in my nursing? #1) Keep my hands and face washed often and throw a clean sheet over the chair where I sit. #2) If situation more likely to get dire add placing Carmex or Vaseline in my nostrils. #3) If I start getting symptomatic, use 10 mg Loratadine and 25 mg Diphenhydramine with allergy control eye drops. Three cats and could keep the house a little better? Skip straight to #3.
• Funny to see a movie now with Vincent Price and think about how scared to death I could be watching the same movie as a young lad and today it might seem comical. He still has his moments though.
• In the headlines today: Brett Favre nears a decision.
• Way, Way, WAY past ridiculous.
• Another: Police break up canary fighting ring.
• I waited for the Onion News Network logo but, no it was real.

Tiny

You Know You

have a substance abuse problem (regardless of substance) when you go to great lengths to insure said substance is always at hand.



Yes it's cold, full and ready to go and yes, that is the shower wall.

Mondays Mostly Musical Missives With A Mass Media Misgiving

• There was a television going in my patients room the night Drew Peterson was arrested for the murder of his wife. The news came out early, was pervasive and was the top story literally until I walked out the door. Nearly everyone I've spoken to since has mentioned the case.



• Why? Who cares besides family, friends etc.? And if they do- again, why?



• Earlier my son was listening to Ozzy Ozbornes Crazy Train. Yesterday when working on the neighbors riding mower her son was listening to Iron Man.



• There's hope for this world after all.



• Never understood why Bush was never more popular than they were or why the wave they were on crested in the 90s and they sort of tailed off. Even stranger (to me at least) they were from England but, never were very popular there. They broke up in 2002 but, Gavin Rossdale has been hinting at a reunion.



• Just picture my old butt waving a cigarette lighter to Glycerine and jumping around to Machinehead.



• Probably don't want to picture it too long though.



• Chevelle is one of my all time favorite bands but, oddly I don't own a single cd of theirs or have any of their music on my laptop.



• Hank Williams, Ralph Stanley, Lester Flatt, Earl Scruggs and Bill Monroe all stop me dead in my tracks whenever I hear anything of theirs and when I'm in the mood and put their music on I don't do or think about anything else.



• A cousin to Lester Flatt was one of my professors in college.



• One of the best live shows I've ever been to is still Meatloafs. He did songs from both Bat Outta Hell and Bad Attitude.



• Meatloaf was born and raised in Dallas TX but, oddly was and is still way more popular in England.
• No, he didn't play Lumpy on Leave It To beaver.



• I have at least 10 musical instrument in my house and I can't play a single one though I'll randomly pick one up occasionally and mess around with it.



• Was pretty good at the trombone in school though and keep daring myself to take it back up.



• Craig's Music in Weatherford TX is about 12 minutes from my house, has some great live music acts very often and I never been and I don't know why.



• I know someone whose servers at their job has over 250,000 songs on it for consumption by employees. Another guy has over 3000 full length movies on his.



• Didn't know there were that many of either anywhere.



• Actually I did of course but, man that would be cool to have access to that kind of free, safe music and movies.


• Some music that I like but, a little goes a long way with me: Bluegrass, Techno and just a little Hip Hop.
• Synthesizer by Electronic Six- still such a great techno song don't care when it gets lodged in my brain for hours on end.
• My neighbor was in a band with Roy Orbisons son Wes Orbison but, he died before they could take off with it- one more reason his death was so sad.
• Toadies: great rock music by Texans who lost themselves somewhere- terrible after their comeback, sorry to say.
• Dred Zeppelin: Led Zep songs to a reggae beat sung by an Elvis impersonator- genius.
• Fats Domino singing Blueberry Hill and Ain't That a Shame. BB King Singing The Thrill Is Gone and Hank Williams The Lost Highway all make my hair stand on end like no other and I'll let you guess which is the most nearly autobiographical.

Music Video Extra Vaganza O Rama The Sleepy, Sunny, Sunday, Special Edition

A bit of history, science and some of the best music ever to come out of Texas by a man who has been dead over 60 years- Blind Willie Johnson. I've literally been asked why he was called Blind Willie Johnson. Well, let me tell you back in those days people were simpler and not quite as imaginative as we are today and well, he was named Willie at birth and his fathers last name was Johnson and he was blind. The Blind is the hard part to take: a stepmother threw a handful of lye in his face when he was age 7 after his father caught her with another man and beat her.

All of his music has spiritual tones and most is directly religious. When he was 5 he told his father he wanted to be a preacher. He made a cigar box guitar and began to learn to play. In adult life he was a street preacher in Beaumont and ran a place called The House Of Prayer. As you'll see in the video, Dark Was The Night- one of his most unforgettable songs, was chosen to go into space on Voyager to help tell the human story. You'll understand why if you've never heard the song before.

BWJs Keep Your Lamps Trimmed And Burning for a bonus that demonstrates the bottleneck method of guitar playing and his false bass voice as well or better than any.

After his Beaumont house burned down he was too poor to go anywhere else and stayed in the burned remains sleeping on the wet bed. He contracted pneumonia two weeks later and died.

His death certificate lists malarial fever, blindness and syphilis as complicating factors.

Tired Hospice Nurse Pre Bedal Post

Understanding more as time goes on the old adage A Good Death and while every persons is different and personal I'm including family response in that idea more often. A relaxed, comfortable, pain free death in your 80s with three generations at your bedside reassuring you and each other- offering words of love and encouragement. All believing the person will soon be reunited with a spouse of 60+ years who waits for them in heaven.

Thanks for spending your last few hours with me now I'll sleep and have more time with my family since you left before my relief.

You had A Good Death- if there is one.

Sometimes when I come in early from a case Zac hears me, awakens and puts on a whiney boy sound and says something like,"Daddy, here- I needs shoo now."

I say,"I needs you shoo!" and we watch a movie or play.

I may go knock some stuff around and make a racket so we can watch Pinky And The Brain.

Post Race Post

• Just got in from the races.
• Above is what a jet car looks like when photographed by clueless cameraman.
• The jet cars went over 200 mph on this track.
• I've been down it in Camaro that went a little over a 100 mph in that same 1/8 of a mile.
• My feet, back, head and knees hurt and I'm nauseous from all the fumes.
• Oh, and my ears are ringing.
• Bound to be a record for race induced afflictions.
• A great time though because both my sons and nephew went with me.
• Was ambushed at the gate by 25.00 dollar per person admission. I had no idea.
• The girl cut me a deal.
• Not sure if it was my charm or good looks.
• Black people like the motorcycles.
• White people couldn't care less normally.
• Saw one fight.
• Today's Top Fuel funny cars generate 8000 horsepower.
• Bind moggling.
• My Tahoe made 305 horsepower as I recall and the Camaro I mentioned earlier about 800 HP.
• Spellcheck hi lites Camaro and offers Camry as an alternative.
• The nerve.
• I'm tired.
• Excuse me the phone is ringing.
• Oh, it's my ears.
• I think I'll sleep naked tonight. No shower. When I turn in the night I'll get a whiff of burnt rocket fuel, alcohol, nitro methane and rubber.
• I seepy, night- night, as Zac said.

Special I've Been Thinking WAY Too Much Wednesday's (That's Publishing On Thursday) Digressions Bonus Edition

Fourth ID soldiers.





• People who know me now might would be surprised (in a way) where I've been in a religious or spiritual sense in the past.




• People who've known me in the past would be surprised where I'm at now.




• Man, that was vague- thought I wanted to talk about that more than I did I guess.




• A hint: a preacher who visited a facility I had a patient in was surprised I wasn't,"A church person." and said he didn't think a person who wasn't," Could get what you do."




• He began to quote a long- ish scripture to me- I finished it for him. His jaw dropped.




• I feel a little bummed when people who used to comment here stop- that surprises me quite a lot.




• For almost always comes out fro when I type.




• When you send troops a care package you can never go wrong with a Frisbee but, get a heavier/ larger one over a gimme or dollar store type. 180 gram actual Frisbeee brand is probably the best bet. They can carry them everywhere and break them out during downtime. A good second that is highly appreciated is a football but, send a pump and extra needles. For hygiene items any Aveeno product (especially shave cream) and sport deodorants- not regular or cheapo types.




• A flashback that I may have mentioned here before struck me again recently. I've talked before about how my nursing background assured I'd be included in medical emergencies on the battlefield- whether I wanted it or not. Once on a rare patrol I wasn't leading the lead squad leader called over the radio," Bravo 6 Bravo 6 this is Bravo 2. We've got casualties up here- send the doc and combatkevin pronto." "This is 6- what you got?" "At least one wounded- abdominal wound, blood everywhere- looks bad over."




• Well, another one I thought I wanted to talk about.



• OK, I guess I'll say when I see a pink crepe myrtle in bloom in takes me there- hard. Also, that casualty comes to me in my dreams sometimes. Initially there was blame, "You could have done more." "Why didn't you help me?" Or, sometimes just staring at me angrily burning a hole through my heart. Now sometimes it's, "Don't worry- I'm OK, you tried." and even, "I'm sorry when we met that day it hurt you so bad."




• The patient was in too much distress to talk so I don't even know what their voice sounded like.




• But, in a way I do.




• OK, so I am talking about that day in October.




• Sometimes it's just some happy even joyous laughter of the patient in the background and I'm looking down at the blooms of that crepe myrtle swirling around on the ground and I hear the sound of my breath as I inhale and exhale twice and always exactly twice then I hear my temporal pulse pounding in my head then slowing gradually. Then I hear the wind rustling through the Crepes and I wake up at that point.




• Every time.

Wednesday's Digressions

• Was behind a lady in a black Suburban nearly all the way home yesterday and I just nearly called 911 on her as she was all over the road I noticed after she nearly clipped me while I waited in a turn lane in town. Her speed would vary from 45-75 mph in a 55 mph zone. Drunk or hitting the crack pipe after dropping her kids off at dance class or whatever? No, she was on the cell phone- she was behind me tailgating me all the way in early this morning and driving just as badly.


• While chatting just as merrily and obliviously on her pink phone.


• Saw a woman beside a delivery truck parked at a local convenience store take a puff off a smoke and then do about the only thing grosser I can think of- with the cigarette in her mouth she hooked her index finger around the filter and buried it in her nose up to the first knuckle and began digging for green gold.


• Keep it classy baby.


• Recently at a store three guys including myself busted each other ogling some smoking hot scantily dressed woman and then got a good laugh at ourselves and each other.


• They never would have had a chance.


• Ha


• Met the most beautiful woman I've ever met in my life recently- nothing to it just met her but, yeah can't think of a more beautiful woman I've ever seen in my whole life. It's cool although she no longer lives here she was born and raised just 30 miles from where I live.


• Recently offered condolences to a friend whose marriage has ended. He said something like,"Oh well, it was a long time coming- I'm glad it's over." That was kind of sad to hear but, undoubtedly just simple truth. His teenage daughter looked like the weight of the world had been removed from her shoulders. I've known them for a few years and only in the midst of the divorce news did I learn she had been married either 4 or 5 times.
• Nearly bought a boomerang this morning (something I've promised myself to learn) but, went with a Frisbee instead.
• Since I can no longer play softball or tennis and couldn't even kid myself about football I guess Frisbee is the only sport besides bicycling I've carried all my life into adulthood.
• Good God, I've been doing both over 40 years.
• I was in a positively buoyant mood when I started this post- now look at what you've done to me.

Wednesday Music Video Extra Vaganza- O Rama The Cover Me Edition

This song brings back memories of the bad old days like few others. Naw, they weren't so bad but, they were so long ago I get messed up feeling thinking about them! Always liked the name- Violent Femmes and as a tribute to them I thought it would be cool to name a band Mister Blister after this song- Blister In The Sun. But, I never learned to play an instrument or sing or write songs or dance or anything-so you can use it if you want.

Here is one more reason to hate Keith Urban well, hate is a strong word- let's say to be sorely vexed by...

The Jamcats terribleness is terrible.

There aren't words.

Thrash version with Ryan Star. I dig it.

My version- don't laugh please, I'm trying.

When I'm a-walking,

I strut my stuff,

then I'm so strung out

I'm high as a kite,

I just might,

stop to check you out

Let me go on, like a blister in the sun

Let me go on,

big hands I know you're the one

Body and beats,

I stain my sheets,

I don't even know why

My girl friend,

she's at the end,

she is starting to cry

Let me go on,

like a blister in the sun

Let me go on,

big hands I know you're the one

When I'm a-walking,

I strut my stuff,

then I'm so strung out

I'm high as a kite,

I just might,

stop to check you out

When I'm a walking,

I strut my stuff,

then I'm so strung out

I'm high as a kite,

I just might,

stop to check you out

Body and beats,

I stain my sheets,

I don't even know why

My girl friend,

she's at the end,

she is starting to cry

Let me go on,

like a blister in the sun

Let me go on,

big hands I know you're the one

Be There Or Be Square!

This will be a good one to introduce the little ones and girlfriends to racing- lots going on to keep the interest levels up: wheelstanding exhibition cars, jet cars, old timey dragsters, motorcycles etc.

BE THERE, BE THERE, BE THERE BE THEEEEERE!

Ahem, boss, I feel something coming on- I don't think I'm going to feel so good about 3 o'clock Friday afternoon- cough, cough (see how terrible that sounds?)

Zac, your white trash right of passage begins this coming Friday. You'll never be the same little fella.

Steven Wrightism

"I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how." She said, "It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left." So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said "I thought I told you to go to sleep." -

Monday's Missives

• The Cure- a musical taste literally from my childhood that I haven't outgrown. As a matter of fact the more time goes by- the more I love them.


• Joe Piscopo, Neil Diamond, Barry Manilow, The Cure and Iron Maiden. Five acts I've determined to see live before one of us dies.


• I think there's something wrong with me.


• The above pics are from a school auction selling off the dolls that the care of is supposed to make a child think twice before getting pregnant.


• Kind of creepy.


• It's 6:30 am- the baby is screaming and just knocked my delicious, cold Dr. Pepper over on to the carpet. And, "Good grief- what did he eat last night?" I said while changing his diaper this morning.


• He's the, Baby- I wish I had a do over.


• Recently had a graphic reminder: No Good Deed Will Go Unpunished.


• People


• Literally, do not know how some people can face themselves in the mirror in the morning.


• Sen. John Edwards for such a handsome devil has a thing for ugly women.


• Once a brother in law, father in law and myself helped a female family member move away from a very bad situation. One of the trucks we used was a flatbed which we stacked literally 12-14 feet high from the bed. The joke was of course it looked like The Beverly Hillbillies- The Wise County Edition. I brought out a rocking chair and was strapping it to the top of the whole mess when she saw me and begged us to not put it up there. We threatened to quit if she didn't let us put it up there for the ride to the new place.


• So mean.


• So funny.