Saturday, August 29, 2009

Saturday's Summary



  • I unintentionally wrote Zacs name as Zak on a post and didn't catch it until after I posted it.
  • Very weird feeling when I read it.
  • Zac is getting his first haircut soon. He is sO0oooo getting a mullet. I mean a one for the ages mullet.
  • I've seen three women in as many weeks with a Kate Gosselin hairdo. Good grief.
  • PS Jon or whatever your name is (was) I could have told you that marriage was kaput.
  • The minute I saw the wifey showing showing off her toned, tanned, bikini wearing body and splashing around on some beach.
  • No woman ever lost an ounce of weight, spent a minute in a gym or a tanning bed for her present man.
  • File this one under if I'm lyin' I'm dyin'. I heated a cup of coffee in the microwave while putting this post together. I noticed an ant in the oven when I opened the door and thought I'd just clean its irradiated corpse out when my delicious warm beverage was ready. However, that was not to be as it lived through one minute on high setting and in fact fell off the side of my cup somewhere between the kitchen and my desk where I intended to take its picture on same for posterity.
  • It's out there in the no mans land between the kitchen and my bedroom morphing and mutating...
  • Got to stop drinking so much coffee and watching bad sci-fi when work messes my sleep schedule up.
  • Heated came out eated the first time.
  • "I eated"
  • Doi
  • People often ask,"How do I know whether to spell out numbers or just use the numeral?"
  • Spell out single-digit whole numbers. Use numerals for numbers greater than nine. Examples: I need one hole in the head. I want 10 girlfriends.
  • Regardless, be consistent throughout with the pattern you've chosen.
  • True story. Was fondly recalling a trip to San Antonio I took with a woman- specifically being the last and only two people on the riverboat ride on which the guy made an extra lap and for which he did not even charge me and was about halfway through reminiscing when I saw the murderous- absolutely straight up, put a small caliber bullet in your brain and dump the corpse in a shallow grave- murder and never think twice about it look in her eye- and then, I realised she wasn't the woman I was with!
  • D'oh!
  • I thought I was going to choke on my tongue. I mean literally- it seemed to swell up, the room got smaller, definitely hotter and started spinning.
  • No, that relationship didn't last much longer.
  • We live and learn- right?
  • Or don't.

11 comments:

LandShark 5150 said...

Z O M B I E A N T --
The look in her eye, is why I insist me wife wear her sunglasses 24/seven.
You got to have a rooster comb to go with the mullet, poor Zax.
Good post -- I needed to laugh,me friends lost their daughter in the awning/Bport deal,been hard. They are doing good considering, beginning to smile and laugh.
Thanks, sharky

YM said...

You need 10 girlfriends like you need one hole in the head.

I think I got the numbers thing.

mzchief said...

Do not mullet that sweet baby boy of yours. There will come a day, when you are eating soft food and wearing Depends, Zac will make you pay for the mullet.

Ahem...Sir, I will have you know, the main reason I workout, dress well at home and have a drawer full of awesome sexy/kinky lingerie, is so my Mr. stays interested. Personally, I am none too impressed with the attention I get from random randy males.

el chupacabra said...

shark- as usual thanks and glad i helped you a little on lifes journey. and my God- that was an awful situation, thankful to say i wasn't affected really other than so sad for people i don't know but, realize i could have easily been in their shoes.

my queen- yeah that's what i said!?

mz- don't miss my otherwise benign and more or less playful point in that thought- you were hot to start with.
oh, and the mullet will be short lived just for a photo op then bzzzzz.
an idea though from sharky- a rooster comb punk do first THEN a mulletard special..

Opus #6 said...

Nice poster. But tell me you don't WANT the girl more than the car. I mean really. Studies prove that men think about sex on the average of once every 5 minutes. Not CARS.

el chupacabra said...

op- what your comment made me think: i just in general thought the poster kind of funny but, at my age it really hit home- if, for whatever reason i lost my mind and married some way toooo young woman i know id be starting all over again- again and i simply can't afford it!
once every 5 seconds- that's all?
O O
U

Ada said...

I think if you give him a mullet you should have to have one too. Unless of course you sport a mullett already and then I will have to rethink it. Rethink it all.

I like the haircut...I think it's cute. I can't do the short hair thing. Oh, I've tried. People in our small town thought my boyfriend was cheating on me with some short haired pixie. Ha haaa.

And I really don't want to believe you about the "present man" thing but you are right on the money. I went to dinner at a couples house and the wife had new clothes, painted fingernails, lost some weight and I thought to myself "she definitely has a boyfriend". She was caught the next week. True story.

The ant thing FREAKS me out.

I totally had the number thing wrong. Dang!

an Donalbane said...

My boys are teens now - I wouldn't want to see them sporting mullets.

Myself, have never had hair much beyond the collar of my [Bob Newhart] button-down shirts, and have had pretty much the same style (if you'd call it that) since the '70s, though a bit shorter now.

Anyway, I was staying in a hotel in Austin this week, with a closet with mirrored bi-fold doors. After a couple of days of observing my hair from the back, I went to the barber's yesterday and requested a "6" on the back and sides and an "8" on the top and front. You shoulda seen all the white and grey hair on the cape. Hell, it looked like an old man had been sheared (I still think of myself as having brown hair - but it's now in the minority)! Gulp!

Last time my hair was this short, LBJ was President.

One benefit of getting it a bit shorter than I wanted was that I don't think I'll try the bald look. Maybe next time, will see if they have a "10".

mzchief said...

To Chupacabra...
You are not random...Thank you.
*:)

el chupacabra said...

ada- i'm a skinhead (in appearance only). yes, when a woman gets older it's hard to get away with long hair. you have very pretty hair and don't fall into the 'older woman' category yet- can't believe you would have already tried cutting it off!

don- when the time comes try shaving it all off- not every guy can get away with it but, it's cool when you can. i wouldn't have it any other way now.

mz- ah, thanks- that's cool!

The Accomplice said...

I don't agree with the "No woman will work out for her present man bit."

Right now, I've been hitting the gym like crazy. I want to lose a certain number of pounds. Not just for me but for Mr. Accomplice. I have had a hard time losing the weight after having Micah.