Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Monday, April 17, 2017

Monday's Missives

    Windows can't even



  • Recently (today is 02/08/2016) I had determined to buy a particular piece of outdoor equipment that listed for 120 bucks. As I was about to log onto my REI account to order it I took note of a similar product that was 30 dollars. It wasn't my favorite color (read- it didn't look as cool as the first product) and lacked a feature or 2 the other had but it was one fourth the cost and would do the job 93-98% as well as the more expensive product. It had me buffaloed. I still have not ordered either.
  • Update (02/16/2016) so I went back to look at the object of my consternation. The 30 dollar one was no longer listed- at all. Assuming it was sold out but wanting to think the purchase over I went back later to reconsider the more expensive product. What was the first thing I saw? The 30 dollar product was then listed for 69.95...
  • A person we knew as aunt when I was a kid has died. She was one of the few remaining links to my childhood. Her name was Daisy. I called her Daisy Duke or Daisy Waisy which made her laugh. When I visited her a few years ago in a hospital and then later a nursing home she would tell staff I was her boyfriend. She was hilarious and awesome. Road trips to her house in East Texas were a big deal when I was a kid and came as often as not from me and my sister wearing our parents down with begging to go as being their idea. In the yard of my ancestral home there are still multiple 20 foot tall evergreen trees my mom mucked from East Texas and carried back to Decatur in Coors cans that had the tops cut off by my dad.
  • Someone I know is being asked to be involved in a wrongful termination/whistleblower lawsuit. Said someone has asked my opinion. My well reasoned and articulate response was, Avoid that like the plague. She is going down and wants to take you with her. She wasn't smart enough to consider the consequences for herself when she got fired and doesn't care at all what this would do to you.
  • Trust me; I'm almost a lawyer.
  • Recently I met somebody whose husband died 8 years after an IED blast near his head caused him to start having severe seizures. He had 5 children.
  • Occasionally I still have a dream where I am suddenly transported to my Humvee in Iraq. It is dark except for the ghostly glow of the dash lights. As I look over at Blake my driver I know he is going to die. He looks ghastly. Every time I glance back at him he decays a bit more. He asks me for a dip and I oblige by handing off my can of Copenhagen. There ain't enough for both of us sarge! he says. I'm good man, save enough to freshen up my dip and I'll be good. I reply. He hands the can back to me and without saying a word he smiles through shattered and missing teeth. His face is shredded. I take a dip to add to that already in my mouth. It tastes good but also oddly salty with a bit of dirt flavor. I glance back over and see him starting to slightly slump to the side. I know I am killing him by trying to savor this moment. While looking down to my map (which I can't really see) the Humvee whines and kicks as it shifts. The terrain to my right looks like the surface of the moon as moonlight lights the desert floor. Tears start streaming down my face. I don't want this moment to ever end. I don't want this moment to go on another second.
  • Then I awaken.

Monday, June 13, 2016

Meet My People


Let me tell you a story- a story of poor white trash. The following vignettes are correctly related and true as far as I know and stem from my families habit of telling stories in general and sharing said stories with anybody- even kids who had no business hearing some of them.

The grizzled old farmer is my grandfather born in 1883 in Scott County Arkansas. The picture would have been taken in Melissa TX where dad was born. There is an old family story that one time grandfather killed a cow and after butchering it, took the meat around to the neighbors and sold cuts. A hound dog followed the wagon home and was adopted by the kids. One of granddad's last requests was to be taken to the cemetery in a wagon pulled by a white horse. Uncle Cornelius made it happen. My dad told me when he went to the funeral he didn't own any shoes so he ran behind the wagon from shade tree to shade tree to get some relief from the hot surface of the road.

To your far left is my uncle Cornelius (also called Neal). He worked at rock crushers in the Chico area for years. We never liked him as he was mean to his wife who was a favorite aunt. He was also dismissive of my dad who we thought was way better than him. I was also aware Cornelius was only a private during the war and dad was not only a sergeant but became a drill sergeant after the war.

 Sitting beside him is aunt Rilla.  Rilla taught me how to fish. Oddly, I still have some of her old fishing tackle and a scar on my thumb from cutting fish hooks off an old trotline she gave me. As I think about these memories I can smell her tackle box as plain as the coffee on my desk. 
She was married multiple times. One husband had a prosthetic leg. After his death it was left under her bed. Us cousins (as all of us kids were called) would go and sneak peeks at it and dare each other to touch it. Her last husband was named Bill. He only had one real eye. The socket with a prosthetic eye would weep constantly and he always kept a handkerchief in his hand to wipe his cheek. I bought a 1966 Ford truck from him for 300 dollars. He had bought it new and when I went to Wichita Falls to look it over it was straight as an arrow. He drove it out to Decatur for me the next weekend and wrecked it 2-3 times on the way. I recall him hitting a gas pump and backing into the guy wire of a power pole but it seems I may be forgetting another incident.
Rilla was raped as fairly young woman and had a baby as a result. She named her Margaret. Margie as she was called had 3 kids- a set of twins (a boy and a girl) and another boy who was older than the twins. The elder boy named Jay went to Vietnam. My parents sent  .22 rifle cleaning kits for his and the other Marine's M16 rifles. They also sent socks as, Their socks rot off their feet in no time! When he came home his mom would have to tap his foot with a broom handle when waking him for work because the first time she tapped his shoulder when waking him he nearly knocked her lights out. He would survive Vietnam only to get killed several years later in a car wreck.
All 3 of her kids drove amazing hot rods. The girl of the twins drove a 66 Nova. She loaned it to a boyfriend who committed a robbery in it and abandoned it in an alley in Wichita Falls. Her twin drove a 69 SS El Camino with a 396 and a 4 barrel carburetor. It was fast enough he outrun local deputies one night even though he had to stop every few miles to reattach the carb linkage. Their elder brother drove a 57 Chevy truck. They were my idols. My parents tried to keep me away from them.

The girl to the left of Rilla is aunt Bertha Mae. She died of heart failure secondary to rheumatic fever in her 30s. She weighed well over 300 pounds. She was an exotic dancer at a club on Jacksboro Highway that catered to dudes who liked queen sized women. As kids we heard about her all the time. Aunts would say things like, Bertha Mae would have loved you kids. She always wanted children but could never have any of her own; so sad... We felt like we knew her and that her spirit was always watching over us.

The lady to the far right is my granny. My dad told me she would whip him with the inner part (the bead) of a tire she cut out for that purpose. By the time I knew her she had whiskers which would scratch your face when she kissed you. She did not have a tooth in her head by then either. She dipped powdered snuff and the juice from it would run out of both corners of her mouth. One of her last snuff bottles is on my desk as a pen holder- I am looking at it as I write this. Her skin was as soft as velvet. Her hair went nearly to her waist and she kept it in a pony tail. It stayed mostly salt and pepper colored until her death and was really more black than gray. She washed it with lye soap. I know at one point she made her own but don't know if she continued to do so in later life or bought it. She could grow anything and the tar paper shack she lived in by the time I knew her, in Burkburnett was filled with plants. It was like a greenhouse. Mom would say, Give granny a stick, a rock to plant it on, a cup of water, and come back a week later and she would have something growing for you. After granddad died she married Paul, whom she met through a "Love Wanted" ad in the newspaper. Paul was known as a simple minded person who did odd jobs around town. He loved us like I don't remember ever being loved by anyone aside from my mom. He would walk around town and pick up small objects like change and discarded toys and put them in shoeboxes and give them to me and my sister when we visited. We loved getting those boxes- it was like winning the lottery. He called the little things he gave us, "play pretties". He gave us pens and pencils which were often personalized with our names and stationary and stamps to write letters to him. I don't recall ever being mean to him in any way but I wish I were nicer. He just deserved it. He was a decent and kind man- a good person.

The baby in granddad's lap is my dad. He had a third grade education and didn't get his driver license until he was 40 years old. He got his first job as a turkey herder at 9 years of age. He served in the Army as an air defense artillery man and more or less an infantryman in France and Germany. We have a cool picture of him with his head bandaged. He was at the invasion of Normandy + 3 days and fought all the way to Hitler's old retreat at Berchtesgaden. I asked if he ever killed anybody during the war. He replied, Well, you just don't always know. You're shooting at shapes really- moving shapes and they go down but everybody else is shooting so you don't always know. I knew though- that he did know. He crewed a half track with twin .50 caliber machineguns and a centrally mounted 37 mm cannon which were for antiaircraft work. I asked if he ever shot down a plane. He replied, Nah, never shot one down directly but 4-5 left trailing smoke pretty heavy.
He dabbled in dice but was an expert pool player and would hustle in pool halls around Fort Worth. He was oddly equally good at 9 ball, snooker and straight pool. When asked what game he wanted to play he would reply, Make it easy on yourself. When I was little, he took me to the pool hall on the square in Decatur and also a domino parlor. Old guys there would give me chewing tobacco and wait for me to get sick. I never did. The pool hall  was run by an elderly white haired gentleman. His hair was the whitest I have ever seen- literally whiter than cotton. For years into my adulthood I could recall his name but couldn't right now if my life depended on it. It thrilled me to be there. It smelled like leather, stale beer, old building and tobacco. It also seemed a little dangerous.
Dad was buried in the same cemetery as his father- the same cemetery where he ran barefooted from shade to shade following a horse drawn wagon that carried grandfather's body. I rode to that cemetery in a new Cadillac limousine which the driver oddly showed me around beforehand while telling me some of it's specs.
At the funeral were multiple women who were way too upset considering the fact that no one knew them. Maybe coincidentally, there were also several unknown women's phone numbers in his wallet.
He was a life taker, a life maker and a heart breaker. I still have his pool cue. I still have the 12 gauge shotgun that killed him.

Two things I learned writing this: Rilla is buried in an unmarked grave as her headstone was blown away in a tornado. There is a child named Randal missing from the picture- he only lived one month. Why were we never told about Randal? Yes, children died all the time back then- but stories would be told and they would be remembered- especially in a storytelling family. Was the memory just too painful- too heartbreaking? Did the birth nearly kill granny?

 The two things I think of as I write this are:
Some things you just can't make up. 
Did any of these people ever think their lives would play out how they did?

Monday, August 24, 2009

Monday's Missives





  • Just came in from working on the yard and getting some sun and was surprised to find my two oldest sitting in the den watching a movie together like human beings and not strangling each other or setting the furniture on fire.


  • They were so incognito I thought they must be getting in late from the school bus.


  • Literally


  • Three of my neighbors have jeeps.


  • Luckies


  • The one I owned in my previous life would punk theirs in a minute.


  • That's alright though, good things will come back to me- right?


  • Please say yes.


  • Always fascinates me to see people who are business owners who seem to have no interest in being in business. Went in to an antique store yesterday to look for books. The guy rolled his eyes and sighed like he was dealing with a mentally challenged guy the group home gave 5.00 dollars to and took shopping for life enrichment therapy. I've done well at other antique stores buying books- high percentage of what ends up in them is often history,autobiographies and biographies which is what I'm into and the prices are often cheaper than a used bookstore. I would guess I've spent at least say, a couple of hundred dollars at antique stores for books in my life and have bought other things from that particular store in the past.


  • Never again.


  • Speaking of books, Recycled Books in Denton TX RAWKS! They must have a million books in stock and are very helpful and have a laid back atmosphere and attitude. Music and DVDs were too expensive in the past but, I'll see if there's been a price correction since I've been there last.


  • I love how the store snakes around, in and out of other spaces they've acquired and up stairs and down into the basement.


  • I'm going to go spend money there this weekend.


  • They have a rare books section that makes me salivate and rock back and forth wishing for a lottery win.


  • Think a good investment maight be in a big DVD collection from someone who changed over to Blueray and a new DVD player. Going to keep that one in the back of my mind.


  • I love how the people we fight (and will always be fighting) essentially equate women with a piece of property that carries children and in our military culture they are equal in rights and opportunities to men. On my crew in Iraq my assigned machine gunner was often a female Marine. Stone cold killer- who could operate and maintain that gun as well as anybody. I would have gone anywhere in combat with her and in fact did hand picked her over many of the men in my platoon during planning sessions for operations.


  • There were some very nice complimentary aspects to that story that I'll never forget. She was assigned to my squad because I was trusted to treat a subordinate female properly and also to keep her alive. She also because of her respect for my abilities and pride in our accomplishments campaigned her command for more patrol action and asked me to do the same with my unit and have her be my dedicated gunner.


  • People give me way more credit than I deserve.