I Learned Empathy From That Part One

In 2001 I had a day that started out nearly like all the rest. The only difference was I felt a little off- just tired I thought. I slept on the way to work thinking I'd feel great when I got there, but when we got there I felt worse and had vague chills.

It was my day to run the clinic where I worked, taking in new cases, doing appointments and making referrals. A couple of different people asked if I was OK- I shrugged it off.
I'm a guy and a nurse- what do you expect?

Just an hour into the clinic I went to the bathroom. Blood came gushing out. I was so weak and feverish I could barely make it back to the office where I handed my work off and called my wife.

"I think I need to go to the hospital." She knew something was wrong for me to say that so she dropped everything and came for me. In some ways it seemed like she was nearly there instantly in another way it took forever. Blood was dripping out of me.

"Where do I take you?" "Just the closest one it doesn't matter." "What's wrong? I don't know. I'm bleeding out and feverish."

The triage nurse staged me to be seen immediately due to my elevated temp. and low blood pressure. Another nurse bullied him into downgrading me. I watched street people walk back smiling and carrying on with the nurses going back to get their shots for their STDs or whatever.

I put my head against the cool stainless chair frame and tried to put away the pain. I was deliriously thirsty from the blood loss, but knew better than to drink anything assuming surgery was pretty likely. I don't want to sound too melodramatic, but I really did think about telling my spouse all those things you need to say before you die, but I was beyond caring even though yes, I was pretty sure I might be expiring.

The ER doc was a kindly looking man with gray hair who had a student physician with him. He began to show her how to take an occult blood sample from the rectum. As he did so blood gushed out of me. I heard multiple feet shuffle back from me and the girl doc said, "Oh, my God."









To be continued.