Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Crackhead Comment

Image result for crackhead meme


Today an epidemiologist brought a contact in for testing. She is a crackhead prostitute ( the contact I mean- not the epidemiologist). The epi. said, Will you test her and do a symptoms check on her? Sure I said anything for you. That is why you are so awesome! she replied. She then introduced me by my first name and title to the patient.

That is where things got weird.

Me: She said your name is _________________ right? Is that what you prefer?
Crackhead: I can be anything you want me to be Kev.
Me: OK then.
She: Are you any good at this?
Me: Yeah, probably one of the best here but Ill take a look and if I can't do it- I'll go get the best.
She: I trust you Kev. I need you know before we do this; I have Hep C.
Me OK. Thanks for telling me. Knowing she would probably have super hard to palpate veins I popped the tip of one glove finger off.
She: Hey now! That sounds like fun! Was her response to the sound of the glove tip popping off. Oh that is good. That is soooo good! You are good! She said as the needle entered her vein.
She: K I'm leaving. Be thinking about me. Pray for me. She said after I finished drawing her blood.
Me: I will. Take care of yourself.

Interesting, not only did she lay it out all out with her very first words and try to get me to think of her in that way- she imposed some familiarity by abbreviating my name. That is something she could have guessed would please my ears and that there would be sweet connotations to it for me.

That is pretty smart.

My first thought as she dropped the dumb, overt sex hints while also telling me she had Hep C was- I assure you lady- the only way I would get any kind of blood and body fluid precaution disease from you is a dirty needle stick.

My first thought when she said, Be thinking about me. was, Yeah that is about all Im gonna do for the rest of the day- is go around thinking about you.

I have prayed for her though.

7 comments:

The Donald said...

As a business major whose Dad used to be a Dale Carnegie instructor, I can appreciate the value of using someone's name in social or transactional interactions. But I also find that when someone uses my name more than once in an exchange, I start getting suspicious of their motives, and if they do it several times, I find it downright annoying.

el chupacabra said...

"...whose Dad used to be a Dale Carnegie instructor..." Mmmm- I am not sure whether to feel sorry for for you- or jealous!

I feel the same way about your assessment of name usage in a conversation- I am sure we agree on this because we are correct.

Anonymous said...

Don & Kev! I agree completely, although Kev's eloquent crackhead encounter was a joy to read, it was your brief comment, Kev, that stopped me down and made me consider the crackhead's motives. I'm sure the Donmeister would agree with you, Kevinator, when it comes to these types of encounters. All professionally speaking, of course, Donski & Kev Me No More Forever (Indian name-ski). Good talk, gentlemen!

el chupacabra said...

Thanks for the compliment and comment Anon. Oh, and for the cool Indian name too!

The Donald said...

...although it wasn't like he preached DC lessons at home or anything. I was mainly aware of it from the knick-knacks (keychains, pencils, paper pads) left over from the seminars that we had around the house when I was young. I think he mentioned the thing about using people's names to me one time. As I understand it, as a brash young engineer not long out of college, his manager pulled him aside and said "I think it would be good if you took this [DC] course" - to knock some of the rough edges off. Six months later, he was teaching DC on the side for a couple of years.

I probably actually learned more about the program from talking with folks in Chamber of Commerce, and Rotary Clubs as an adult.

TommyBoy said...

As a young man, I read Dale Carnegie's book (I know, what a geek, right?) but it caused me to consider turning to a life of crime and becoming a confidence man because it showed how to make people comfortable so you could easier sell them your product or get them to do things.

Instead, I used my newfound knowledge to approach girls. It worked. It worked too good. By the way, after committing multiple marriages, I finally realized I was better off single. I really don't need mom anymore and having children is like subtracting 20 years from your life -- I mean, if you have a need, buy a hamster. Okay, that last bit runs the chance of being misconstrued.

Anyway, Dale Carnegie was wizard information, an enlightening presence upon my young mind, but on reflection I'd have to say it was a little like handing me my first Colt .45 (not the can, but the pistola). You just want to stop popping off rounds or, in this case, quoting DC.

el chupacabra said...

Don- The thing on the names was all I did know about that program for a long time until somebody gave me an old copy of HTWFAIP. It was hardcopy and had the cloth binding.

Hey Tommy- Ha, funny you should mention the thing with girls and DCs book- we did the same thing! Although I might be making this up- I think a college professor gave us the idea. Regardless, it was an elder/respected person of some form.