Friday, January 9, 2015

Friday's Dispatch


Somebody gave me a cupcake in the parking lot at work. Upon getting in my truck of course I dropped it on the floor. By some miracle it landed right side up. Any other day it would have landed icing side down and I would have somehow stepped on it and mushed it into the carpet. I should have gone and bought a lottery ticket.
  • I  got back a couple of hours ago from the urgent care clinic (today is 12/17/2014). They gave me a big ole steroid shot in my little hiney. I'm not sure if I'm better yet- but man I was hungry- I destroyed the pantry and fridge after not eating enough to keep a bird alive for days. 
  • The NP who saw me offered me codeine cough syrup making me the first person in the history of ever to decline.
  • They have another more foreign NP there. I was glad I didn't get him. He was overly aware of his foreignness and self conscious so he laid it on thick and spoke extra loud. He was loud enough it made my heard hurt- from the next exam room. When he gave the medical assistants orders to act on after seeing the guy in the exam room next me he said, Mr. _____ has the flu. Give him 2 CCs of  [unintelligible] and blah, blah blah, blah. Honestly- that is what he literally said- blah,blah,blah...
  • The chance was missed to use one of my superpowers though. I would have said, Are you from __________? (The capitol city of the nation I knew him to be from).  With the answer of that question I would have correctly guessed his tribe and where he lived. 
  • It is sort of a cheap trick though- if he lived in the capitol all his life he would be from one tribe that dominates medicine and commerce and would have lived in a certain part of the city. If he said the affect, I went to university there but I'm from somewhere else, he would be from another large tribe that in spite of it's distance to the capitol is known for placing a great emphasis on education.
  • He stressed-yawned a lot. I heard him do it 3-4 times.
  • Gossip at the nurses station overheard from my exam room: Who brought the [unintelligible]? Oh, I don't know maybe it was Dr. ________. I knew who she was talking about immediately. The doc was well known for his dalliances with multiple nurses at the hospital. One of the objects of his affection was known as Perchy as she didn't have much of a chin.
  • Uh- as in the fish- perch- get it?
  • One of the clinic's nurses was coughing her head off- literally ridiculous when they probably have  a gallon of steroid solution there and 14 people qualified to give her a shot of it. 
  • On the way home I saw a woman in a parking lot getting into a car with a man to go have adulterous sex.
  • How do I know that? She looked guilty but free and happy and sad at the same time. She also dropped her car like a bad habit and practically ran to the dudes car with her head down, then paused for almost too long before she got in the guys car. She knew she was crossing a line.
  • Guilty
    Nice bananas
  • I'm sick, my belly is full and it is pouring rain- therefore time for a nap. 
  • Good night world I love you wherever you are and  in spite of yourself.
    I don't know if this old boat is worth all that.

2 comments:

The Donald said...

"Adding living space to your runabout...next on This Old Boat."

- DF Non-combatant Kevin O'Connor

el chupacabra said...

lulz. Update: no surprise- it is still sitting there in that unhulled condition