Deathly Deductions

• At a funeral I think one of the more important components that is often forgotten is the deceased should they come back to life during the service should be able to recognize who they are talking about.



• I think it would be good for all involved if there were shovels provided and at the end of the graveside service the family closed the grave completely.



• Instead, the dirt is covered by a velvet tarp and the hole in the ground has Astro turf mounded up around it to ostensibly blend in with the grass.



• Ridiculous, we try to fool ourselves to ease the pain when the best thing for the same pain would be to face it and act realistically.



• At a funeral it's mandatory: to have a young guy in a wheelchair, some lone skulled out thug wearing jeans and earrings, some lady that looks like a movie star, some lady no one seems to know who takes things way too hard, at least one hard core alcoholic staggering around with glowing eyes who reeks of his beverage of choice to fortify himself for the service, a community leader or famous person you'd never guessed the person would have known...



• Who else?



• Why or how does an after funeral visit become a contest to see who knew the person better?



• It's good to allow folks to randomly stand and share memories of the dead.



• The folks in the background could leave out the Thank ya Jeebus' when they do in my book- but, it's all good I guess.
• One of my friends who happens to be very smart I always thought shocked me once many years ago by saying to the effect,"I could never be cremated, I'm afraid of fire." I honestly do not recall what I said at the time though I know I would have found it strange- your dead at that point my guess is you couldn't care less what happens.
• Oddly, her wishes are to now be cremated. I've never asked her about that about face.



• Over a third of Americans are cremated every year I read the other day- very surprising I thought.



• An old friend after having her husband cremated took a small ceramic curio box about the size of two large matchboxes to the funeral director for the ashes to be placed in , the director who had a sense of humor and whom had been hitting it off with this lady said,"What are you going to put in there- his hand?"



• Depending on the size of the persons remains there are 3-9 pounds of remains after a cremation. This is composed of bone as everything else vaporizes.



• There is a company who will take cremated remains and make engraved pencils for survivors.



• The answer to your question is 240.



• When I was a kid there was an old cemetery we would visit that had mausoleums you could slip into and explore. I have no idea now where that place was, not even an educated guess but, I loved it- they were cool, dark and damp even though it would be blazingly hot and bright outside.



• The world is a small place and cemeteries are by nature quiet: when you gossip at one and say mean things- they won't have far to travel to hurt.



• Why would it occur to anyone to say harmful things about anyone at a time like that?