• It is 04/07/2017 and I am in the hospital with one of the fruit of my loins.
• A funny little flashback: I learned said offspring's flesh mother was pregnant by phone. She blurted out I'm pregnant and started bawling. 
• An observation: overnight your nurse is much more likely to have less experience than your day shift nurse. 
• One of the nurses would be super cute if she didn't have surgically altered lips to be puffy looking. She looks ridiculous. The people who popularize things like that and perform the procedure should be ashamed.
• When junior was feeling a little better we talked. What about you ask? Oh well- guns, monster trucks, hunting and chicks- oh, you know- America.
• Nurses should really- really be more aware of their surroundings and watch their mouths. I can tell you Ms. Johnson's blood sugar average (160) and nurse Esmeralda child count (6) and how she delivered number 5 after a spinal block (She just fell out!)
• Brother and sister nurses hear me- I was not even eavesdropping and I had my hearing aids out.
• As a general rule the uglier the nurse- the better the care. The pretty ones never really had to prove themselves at anything and the ugly ones always had to prove themselves in everything.
• Hood rat RNs I can give you some free advice that will help if you will accept it: If it looks good in the hood- it is probably an unprofessional look on the floor of a hospital.
• Health care in America is a racket. We should be ashamed.
• Speaking of should be ashamed: A nurse lied to a demented patient who asked to go to the restroom by telling her it was occupied and she would have to wait. 
• A security guard let me into the emergency room with my innocent looking face, scrubs and handful of charger cords that I told him I was bringing back in (he did not see me leave). Worse than worthless- he had no idea of my motives or what I may have been carrying besides the charger cords.
• The scrubs I have on happen to be the same as hospital uniform policy. Being a guy and specifically one who is older and probably a little jaded looking has overawed people and they are a little afraid to do their jobs. They are alternating between avoiding me and sucking up. 
• Easy kids- I'm just a goofy old fart (and not that great of a nurse anyway).
• This may be first in depth post from my phone. I hope it is good- it took me 9 hours to compose.
• Hello my name is human.
• Update: my evil spawn reports, I feel 1000 times better....