At My Sister's House On December 27, 2015 I Had Honey Smoked Ham Covered In Queso Dip That Had Sausage In It

because- honey smoked ham covered in queso that had sausage in it- that is why... and Murica!

Monday's Missives

• It is out of order the way we write dates in America- it should be the day, month and then year. For example, today is December 12, 2016 so it should be 12/12/2016 instead of 12/12/2016... Oh, huh, well that example did not work out so well but you know what I mean because you are smart and good looking.
• Spetsnaz troops are on the ground in Syria. Of course we professional warfighters/political commentators knew that to be true but this is the first video I have seen of them in action. Be sure to turn the subtitles on for some comic relief. Amazing to see were the guys blown off the back of a truck by a missile (which I presume to be a Kornet) then get up and run away.
• As a ute I know we wrote the President in class but I am not sure if it was a group effort or if we did it individually and I do not recall a response at all. Nancy Renshaw was the teacher who headed the effort.
• I knew SpeedoMan well and basically my entire life. He was a good guy.
• Apollo 18 was a terrible movie although I was intrigued by the trailers and DVD cover description I saw before watching it. Man, I really thought it could be good and was disappointed it was so sucky.
• The F14s nickname is Tomcat which is cooler and harder sounding to me than the F22s moniker of Raptor.
• I always think moniker should be monikor and when spellcheck calls me on it I first wonder where I went wrong- without looking at the last 2 letters.
• Yesterday for lunch we had amazing chili made by a friends wife. It had sausage, stew meat and seasoned hamburger in it. I need to find out if I have chance with her if something happens to him or if she already has a back up husband in place.
• A hot friendly acquaintance is leaving her husband and another friendly acquaintance is already making a move on her- probably not smart homes. As hot and as cool as she is- she will be a wreck for a while brother. When she lands on her feet (as he undoubtedly will) a year or so from now somebody is going to be very lucky but until then, she will unintentionally destroy at least a few hopefuls.
• They had cowboy poetry and music at Mineral Wells Sate Park Saturday night. I wanted to go but did not have a single person I could have asked to go with me (to be more correct- the one I could and did ask rejected me with extreme prejudice) so I stayed home and watched a Simon Pegg movie about  a lame 40 year old loser. That is totally not me.
• I am 50 years old.

As I stood drinking coffee on my balcony this morning the thought occurred to me, In 1800s coal mines the proverbial canary in the coal mine was an actual canary.

It set me reeling and my mind was blown- as I am sure yours is right now.

Silent Night

Holy Night as you have never heard it before.

With Trumps

We got the president we wanted. We may have gotten the president we needed. Let us hope we did not get the president we deserved.

Monday's Missives

• This morning (today is 06/20/2016) I finished Romancing The Stone. What a good movie- not great- just a kinda good, enjoyable movie. Some things I took note of on this the 325th viewing: Kathleen Turner was covered with (real) bruises. That must have been one brutal film to make. In the end credits there is somebody noted as, "Hefty Woman" and the actors name you ask?  Her name was "Chachita".
• I am eating a breakfast croissant from Spudwinkle. It may be the best I have ever eaten in my life. This includes all other ones from them I have eaten in the past- how does that happen- especially when I am the only customer there and I arrive within minutes of the previous time I was there (and I go multiple times a week)? It seems to me they should with very slight varying degrees of separation all be about the same.
• This weekend I read an article about a guy who had been a professional truther. Part of the story was he saw the error of his way when he saw how that movement hurts victims of tragedies. He also talked about the attention and validation he received while a believer. He more/less admitted he ignored inconvenient facts as he walked the path. He then talked about how he became a victim of the movement he once represented as his life was threatened and efforts were made to destroy his reputation once he left the movement behind. My personal take away? The guy is a vapid, vacuous, narsicistic sociopath.
• This morning (11/07/2016) I awoke with every time telling device in my house being an hour ahead of my atomic watch which I had previously had trouble setting to recognize daylight savings time. I listened to the radio hoping they would clarify if my watch had just lost it's mind or if it was the only time keeper in the place that knew what was up. On the radio I heard multiple traffic and weather reports without a single time check which I suppose is because of the presumption that everybody has a cel phone to tell them the time but the same phones won't give them local weather and traffic?
• Somebody who is  famous in America for being beautiful looks not only very mannish to me but looks like she had a very clumsily performed sex change operation.
• Shia LBeouf.

I Looked Up Ridiculous In The Dictionary

Monday's Missives

• Recently (today is 11/16/206) I heard a reporter on the radio plain as day say, Igniting a wildflower instead of, Igniting a wildfire when speaking of a fire starter.
• Burning Inside- one of my favorite songs by Ministry.
• "I wish things were back the way they used to be"- the last email I received.
• When somebody says regarding how information is disseminated in an organization, I would rather them have too much information than not enough! I get what they're saying in general but wonder, Do they always mean that in every situation?! It seems like some people think a good way to handle an issue is to ship it off to somebody else with every piece of information they think even vaguely applies and voila- problem solved. Regardless, my email is stuffed full nearly every day with things people were not smart enough to figure out to whom and why the information should have gone to in the first place.
• It costs 7+ million dollars a year to keep a prisoner in Gitmo.
• We are crazy.
• I have no idea who Billy Bush is/was other than he was fired from a TV? job for something he or Donald Trump said in an interview a long time ago.
• My TMJ hurts like mad.
• My guess is Hilary and her team were caught off guard when Trump won. It basically never occurred to them he might win.
• Superman is dead

Graduation Confabulation

• This past weekend (today is 06/01/2016) I went to a friend's daughter's high school graduation ceremony.
• It was a bit of a whippin' but on balance- real nice.
• Although the music played was almost all bro-douche country, the valedictorian made reference to Compton and ended his speech with something like, Peace out-home skillet!
• There was a young lady there fanning herself at 100 mph while chewing gum at 200 mph and she did it non stop. It was mesmerising and exhausting to see.
• There is a nice pond near the school. I wanted to go fishing in it. I would have gone skinny dipping in it were I a kid and going to school there. No, I am not kidding- that is a natural fact which would have probably gotten me expelled.
• To save seats beside us for our late arriving friends we jacked a couple of, Reserved For _________ placards from the people in front of us who already had all their people present.
• As we turned to see the processional I smelled a rusty fart. The lug in front of me looked like a likely candidate so I took a step back from him in case he decided to cut loose again. My suspicions were were confirmed when I noticed his poor wife sniffing the air. She glanced down to his butt then looked back up at his face while glaring at him and muttering curse words under her breath and shaking her head. She was furious. Honestly, she looked like she might physically strangle him.
• When asked by my date what he was doing my creep friend said as he looked down at some lady's legs, Oh you know me- just enjoying the view!
• The superintindent of the district of the school had in another life been principal of my children's elementary. It is a small world.
• To determine whether to use priniciple or principal in a sentence don't worry about priniciple. Just remember: principal of a school is spelled that way because he is a prince of a pal to the students.
• Man, it was hot and humid. I didn't check weather.com but it had to be 400 degrees with 10,000% humidity out there.
• At the after party there were Mexicans, half black and Mexicans, Gayz and lesbians and people ranging in age from the high 70s down to 2 months so I guess we were a pretty inclusive bunch.
• So, a 9 year old kid walks into the kitchen and seeing a stack of trays of Jell-O shots says, Momma I want one of those. To which mom said, Oh, baby- you can't have one of those- they're for the grown ups. But, I had one before we left for the graduation! he replied. His aunt who overheard the exchange said as she face palmed hard, Oh. My. Gawd. No wonder he crawled up into my lap and went to sleep during the ceremony!
• Funniest thing though- he was not rushed to a hospital, there will be no lawsuit, he is still alive and as far as I know he has not progressed to crack and is not out on Rosedale selling his body behind a dumpster for rocks. 
• We played volleyball, washers and horseshoes. The horseshoe pit was separated from the washer pit by a 40 ft. gooseneck trailer- for safety. We were all about the safety.
• Horsheoes became popular in the US during the Revolutionary War. They used mule shoes though.
• An old friend was raised on a ranch and told of using actual horseshoes to play horseshoes although the rules (which I don't recall) were changed pretty dramatically. My children's grandad has mentioned the same thing from the days of his youth.
• During my tour of duty in Germany I learned to be a pretty mean horshoe player- almost everybody in my platoon played. We would have to stand back an extra ten feet and/or literally blindfold ourselves to make it a challenge. We would play for hours on end though when not on patrol so I guess it was not a shocker we got good.
• 60 pounds- the amount of crafish which were boiled at the party after the graduation.
• 1- the number of crawdads left alive in the kiddie pool after the boil. I took him to a beaver pond I know and set him free after we ate all his friends.
• He and I are bros now- I know he will never forget me.

Monday's Missives

• Occasionally there is a leadership class at work called something like, Lead Like Water! I am sure it is to connote how water always finds a way or something but I always process lead at first as being the heavy metal that causes brain damage when it is in the water and have an odd, momentary stop-down and wonder what on earth that could mean and why they want me to think about lead in my water...
• Hair Bath
• Recently (today is 7/2/2016) I tried to make a post with a meme of Steve McQueen which for some reason posted huge-  3 time or more the size of the original. When I deleted it the previous post also disappeared. 
• The professional tanner is here at the pool. 
• The Equate brand of instant lemonade is really good.  Today I will buy more and pimp it out with real lemons.
• Zacs el cheapo RC boat was a huge disappointment.
• Olive Garden sounds good right now. No, I know it isn't fine dining but for the price, service and bread- it is worth it. As a bonus it is so close- I sometimes walk.
• What is the most ridiculous tattoo you have personally experienced? An old friend had flames tattooed all over her butt.
• Ridiculous.
• Something that could only happen to me: One day when I was lonely and bummed I thought of a friend who had recently told me to hit her up sometime for lunch. So I wrote in an Email, “ Hey girl. I feel lonely and bummed. Want to go out have lunch and hang out?” For several minutes I could not shake the feeling I had done something wrong- I even second guessed whether asking the intended person to hang out was appropriate. Don’t be ridiculous knucklehead. She told you to ask her!  was the response to myself. Then it hit me- holy smokes- I sent it to my ex-wife! With a sick feeling in my stomach I opened my account to try and do damage control. The first thing I saw was a draft I was pretty sure I had not intentionally saved. Thank God- it did not send. Very- very carefully I deleted it.
• Holy smokes.
• My husband in law would have just laughed and laughed I am sure.

Deep Thought

“It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, an angel gets set on fire.”