I am in the tub

eating a ham and cheese sandwich with a block of sharp cheddar on the side along with sour cream shoestring potatoes. I am drinking a huge glass of milk.
I don't know if I have it all figured out or I really need to rethink every single one of my decisions to this point-  every single one.

Wednesday's Digressions

• Unsolicited camping advice: if you are going alone and travelling light- resist the urge to buy a bivy. Just buy a decent lightweight one person tent that has the best ratio of sq ft verses weight verses cost. Read reviews until you are sick of thinking about it - then buy something. Bivy's are swampy and claustrophobic. They are definitely one of those things that look good on paper but you hear few good experiences involving them from people who know what they're talking about.
• PS: REI s brand name tents are always a good value for money but consider an end of season closeout on a lightweight name brand- MSR, Marmot and The North Face come to mind.
• PSS: don't ever buy a tent with fiberglass poles.
• Regardless, spend some money if you expect to get quality at the lowest weight.
• You know- I may qualify the bivy statement. If you find a US military Gore Tex bivy sack in good shape for cheaps- yeah, give it a try. They're pretty OK for chilly/damp weather (not murderous/drenching weather).
• I want a DCU pattern one for that matter.
• It is 10/18/2017 and it rained nearly all night.
  
• Growing up everybody in the house was a reader. My dad read soft core, National Enquirer and pulp fiction. My brother science, history and how-to. My sister and I read about anything we could get our hands on. Although she got out of the habit- when I was real young,  mom read True West magazines.
• To double check the spelling of National Enquirer I went to their website. I just learned that Stevie Wonder can see again.
• That is great news. I have liked him my whole life and have always hoped the best for him.

• 

  How to know you are desperate for a fix and you may have a problem: the chick at your breakfast place brings you coffee in a dirty cup and you simply wipe the rim down with a napkin and slurp away.

Wednesday's Digressions

So weird when one of these ashtrays catch on fire. Also, it is vaguely comical for some odd reason. Associated thought- it seems like I have seen a bunch of those things burn up in my life- maybe as many as 10? 

• It may be a coincidence but of the 3 brands I've tried of coffee fortified with extra caffeine- all have a distinctly similar smell and taste.
  
  
  

  

  In front of my breakfast place. I took note of that  electrode as I chewed a bite of bacon. I pictured it being tossed there by a big fat guy who is coming back for round two after discharge from the hospital following  his myocardial infarction. His name is Billy. Although he is safely into his 40s he still shotguns beer and yells, Yeehaw! a lot.

• This last week was rough- I was so exhausted at the end of the day yesterday I essentially passed smooth out when I hit the sack last night. 

  

  Zacs first Icee.

• When i was a kid we used to dust our dogs with sulfur for tick and flea treatment and prevention. It was placed in an old salt shaker, sprinkled on the animal and then spread through the fur with our fingers.
• I am recently more nostalgic about animals long gone for some reason. 
• Thinking about Freckles my cat reminded me of her purr. It was dainty and musical.

The server at my breakfast place just called me by my first name- when I know we have never introduced ourselves and not only that- I have never even used a credit card here.

Update: The way I must have appeared weirded out by her pulling that on me caused her to act weirded out- toward me. On balance, that encounter was not that big of a deal I know but a couple thoughts come to mind- A: I live in a small town but it isn't that small. Number 2: In another life here I was extremely socially active and involved in the community. I'm not as good about either today- and have not been in years. So yeah- I used to know a lot of people- again not so much these days. Letter D: I have not met her someplace else  and then forgotten her- no way.
Weird

Friday's Dispatch

• While I nearly would have had to have done so at least once through the years; I cannot recall ever making a fried egg. I always make omelets or scrambled.
• Man, somewhere along the line I must have fried an egg but if my life depended on me proving it- I'd be dead meat.

  

  A girl from work got tired of seeing my raggedy toothbrush and bought me a new one.

  
  

  

  I ordered a steak, bacon, egg and cheese biscuit with extra bacon. 

  
  

  

  One huge prickly pear fuit.

  
  
  
• A friend won't answer my texts. I'm tempted to block her.
• The preceding threat based on her unresponsiveness doesn't make any sense- but it does.
  
• A couple of different people have told me Bloodhound Gang is really good live. That surprises me- a lot.
• My best friend has been dead for over 30 years.
• I miss him now more than ever.
  

Thursday's Thoughts

• A good Day To Die Hard is pretty far fetched but so far- so good.
• Hero Of The Empire is so far- so great. Although I knew a little about Churchill's escape from the Boers during the Second Boer War  I had no idea that for part of his time on the run he was hidden in a coal mine. As a bonus I am not sure whether I had forgotten or did not know- he was a correspondent and not a soldier during that adventure.
• His mother was a legendary American beauty named Jennie. I only just now learned she died after a broken ankle became gangrenous.
• For some reason I would like to visit her grave.
• I hardly ever sit and watch a movie all the way through.
• A friend described her bewbs to me yesterday (today is 02/08/2017) in some very unflattering terms. I was sad for her in a way but it was also kinda hilarious.
• My presumption had been the neighbor who starts his diesel truck up every morning and lets it run for 30 minutes to an hour does so from his balcony with a remote starter. Nope- he walks down and starts it the old fashioned way and then schleps back up to his apartment. Then 30 minutes to an hour later he drives to a job that might be 5 minutes away.
• Because it was soo much easier to do so- I recently ordered magazines and some other products off Amazon instead of sites associated with those specific magazines and products.
• The neighbors dog comes out on the balcony and says hi to me when I walk up to my place. She is always so happy to see me- I swear she smiles at me.

Old timey Photobomb

Excerpt From Recent Encounter With Schizophrenic Homeless Person

... so I was here for four months. I didn't know Texas was so segregated and racist- did you? I started being persecuted by the kitty kitty kitty club in ___________. Did you know they were there? You know what I mean by the kitty kitty kitty club don't you? Well, they were persecuting me. Me and my common law wife hid in the bushes while they ransacked the house.  So I called the police who referred my case to the FBI who recommended I put all my evidence together and present it to Washington DC- so I did. Washington has taken an interest in my case and are watching my file closely....


There is never a dull moment.

Thursday's Thoughts

• We are in Colorado Springs. 
• It is sooooo cold. How cold is it you ask? It is so cold that yesterday some physical activity outdoors caused me to get short of breath. I breathed in deep to oxygenate- causing a brain freeze.
  
• We drank a Icee during The Last Jedi Saturday 12/23/2017 causing the worst brain freeze of my life. It lasted 2 or 3 minutes and was excruciating. 
• It was bad enough I tried the trick of rubbing the roof of my mouth with my thumb. I don't know if it actually worked or not but at least I looked crazy.
• So yeah if you hear a story about some random weirdo in a movie theater plunging his thumb in and out of his mouth in a theater- it's all true and all me.
  
• Weird: about 3/4 of the way through the movie the house lights went up causing a neighbor to go report it when it became apparent the lights were going to stay on. When he came back to his seat I lip read him telling his wife, They don't know what's going on. They said they can't do anything about it.
  
• Being in a rich town the LA Quinta we are in is super nice but the rooms are way small.
• There were two homeless kids in the lobby of the hotel using the computer and charging their phones.
  
• My kids have to be forced to eat veggies.
• My mind can't decide which sounds stupider- veggies or the entire word enunciated word clearly.
  
• At a work holiday meal I was eating some smoked pork butt while lusting after some late comer bananna  pudding that was rapidly being depleted by a line of people who came after me. My buddy said, You'll have to finish your meat. You can't have any pudding if you don't eat your meat! How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?!
• Only he and I got it and I thought we were going to stroke out from laughter.
  
• A kid who was high as a kite got on the elevator with us last night and started making conversation. When he got off Zac said, Kids these days- huh?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

You May Be A Taliban If

You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
You own a $3,000 machine gun, but you can't afford shoes.
You have more wives than teeth.
You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
You consider television dangerous, but carry explosives in your clothing.
You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs
You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.