Friday's Dispatch

• Life (nearly) size, roadworthy (basically) cardboard tank






• Alec Baldwin has recently made some self depreciating comments about his poor choices in movie roles. Regardless, his legend will live on in classics such as Beetlejuice and the Hunt For Red October.






• It does not matter how well suited I am or well I actually do at a job, I really dislike living in the shadow of a probation period and I discovered at orientation the one for my present job is twice as long as I thought it was when I applied.






• An aquaintence was recently in the hospital for a chronic illness that never gets the attention it deserves for the people it kills and the long term consequences for those who live. She has dropped off the radar of the places we used to bump into each other. I've got a bad feeling about that.






• A nurse in our area always has her car stuffed with trash level to the door windows in the front and in the back seat up to the roof. The trash cascades down from the passeger seat onto the dash and covers it entirely. The only clear space is where she sits in the driver seat. It appears to be a combination of junk mail and fast food garbage. It is so obvious and she is so well known for this, I asked a friend who had worked with her if she had a new vehicle since I saw one similarly oufitted in another city. I was correct.






• People say horrible things about her- I feel sorry for her.






• A hypothetical question and answer at work tomorrow: Hey Kev, what did you do after you wrote those posts for your blog? I soaked in the tub while eating two chocolate pudding cups and watching an episode of Lost In Space.






• Pathetic? I'll let you decide.

Thursday's Bedtime Thoughts

• When I leave my day job tomorrow I go to a night shift hospice case. Yeah, I pretty much work 24 on and 24 on.


• Oddly, I'll be caring for the same patient I had last weekend.


• It was a miracle he made it through my last shift with him. The spouse was upset I would not be coming back that night. I didn't think it could matter since he might only live a few hours after I left. As I write this he has had nothing to eat or drink since the 15th. I'm not reluctant to go back- they need someone good and responded well to me, but in a sense the case will interfere with my mojo. One of the things that make me a decent hospice nurse is my ability to detach. They die- I walk out. Yes, I think about memorable patients. I've come to love plenty of them- and told them so, but they are not a weight around my neck- I detach.


• A friend invited me to an event where former GF would surely be recently. He indicated he would understand for my sake if I didn't want to be there. People process things wrong too often. No, I wouldn't have gone out of respect for her since I was the bad guy, but at the same time I don't have a guilty conscience.


• She and other women are fascinated by former spouse and try to extract information out of me about her like a friendly, but aggressive KGB agent- the pleasant-ish interactions that come before the waterboarding or whatever. "Oh, so was she ______ or ______?" "No" I say. "Well, you said _______ No, that's not what I said. Well, maybe I was putting words in your mouth but, It doesn't sound like you're very angry with her or hate her! I need a bunch of anger to carry around like I need a hole in the head and anyway, the opposite of love is not hate..."


• Jedi mind tricks


• I could have picked up Zac tonight, but did not. I regret it already.


• Seether Fake It


• Good night world, wherever you are. I love you in spite of yourself.

Thursday's Thoughts

To be filed under: if not only in Weatherford TX, then certainly not in too many other cities on a Tuesday afternoon.







• All for the love of sunshine. Yes, the Military Channel has been showing Kelly's Heroes.




• My company commander played Ride Of The Valkeries over the net during a battle drill once- a companies worth of Bradley Fighting Vehicles and Abrams tanks deployed in smoke on open terrain with that iconic song playing in everyones headsets- awesome. It was beautiful, but a big ole mess since no one could communicate with each other as the signal from the music was co opting the net.




• Alex Briley who was an original member of The Village People lost a brother in the WTC attacks of 01. The brother has been identified as the falling man in the famous pic of the same name.




• My car broke down on my way to work this morning. I don't know the last time that happened. At the shop they said,"Maybe it will take just a minute and you can wait." Then it was,"Well, maybe it won't be too long. We'll call you." Twelve hours later I still haven't heard from them. That's usually a bad sign.




• Walking back from taking my trash out while wearing scrubs a couple drove by. The female got the guys attention then looked back back at me and I could lip read her saying,"Is he a doctor?"




• At a facility I work at sometime careproviders who've received a little training to assist the residents who are supposedly self directed with their medications refer to themselves as medication nurses- crazy. That would be no different than my referring to myself as a doctor. I've mentioned this before, but man it really blows me away people would still be so foolish as to do something like that.

Wednesday's Digressions

• Kasabian- Underdog Live in a plane- literally.





• A recent patient lived in the most awesome house- it was perfect. There is not a dollar amount of dream worth I could have that would make me change a thing about it. That is the first time I've been in a house I could say that about. It was gorgeous. If I sold my last house to put toward the house I'm speaking of I might be able to get the floor coverings (Italian marble and real wood) work done- and I mean might.





• I held a 3 month old baby the other day- never gets old. I mean really- for those moments you're a perfect person. And I was a better person for holding him days later.





• Prediction: soon enough drones will be in the skies over the cities of America and news agencies will buy access to the footage they provide.





• Proof we're nuts: US medevac birds in Afghanistan are still marked with the red cross and unarmed- ridiculous. Worse- medevac units don't all have gunship units assigned to them on the same base. This forces medevac birds to loiter outside the area of the call they're answering to wait for gunship support. My guess is we need to forget about some of the sexier stuff and buy more Kiowa gunships for the wars we're fighting. Compared to an Apache they're a bargain to buy, easy to learn and cheap to operate.





• When it first gets cool and starts darkening early in the day as winter approaches I feel a little lonely.





• An interesting post about a military faker. I wish I had the guts to confront somebody like the poster does over this issue.

I Had A Girlfriend Once

whose father was Russian and Mother was Mexican.

It's Over

Less than 48 hours later she would be walking away from me with tears in her eyes and I didn't try to stop her.

• What are you afraid of? My friend asked in a tone that was nearly accusatory. I didn't say I was afraid of anything. Knowing you're not ready for something doesn't mean you're afraid of it- or does it?



• I could have strung things out and hurt both us (all of us for that matter- we each have children) worse in the long run.



• Speaking of which: Zac asked day before yesterday,"When are we going to see ______?"



• You don't warm to a relationship and get better over time if you had doubts- if you do, you don't know who you are (or were when that relationship started) and that's a big problem.



• The same friend-girl I referenced in the first sentence asked what the other girl was like. After I described her she said,"You can't believe all that and just leave her!"



• I did and If you are a decent person and the other person is more into the relationship than your are- you do.


• Anyway, I'm probably too young to fall in love.
  
  

My Eldest Son Took Leave Of His Senses On A Warm Summer Day 2011

The eldest MiniMe on the day of his first skydive. As a long time member of the US Army's Armor Mafia, I eschew jumping out of perfectly good airplanes, but who am I to say? It takes all kinds I always say.
He is so much more then I'll ever be- smart, funny, good and good looking.
When the band he helps as a roadie and backing vocals is asked what he plays when they're at a gig, without hesitation they answer, "XBOX!".
If he is a failure in life it is because I failed him. For the success he'll have it must be all him- I'm not that good.
AWOLNATION Sail.