Friday's Dispatch

• 3: the number of women who as of this writing (09/24/2015) have angrily stomped out of my place after I refused to put out to them. I know what you're thinking- What, are are afraid of a little? or if you're from Jersey you might even go so far as to say, Whatsamatta wid yuze? You some sort of fag or somethin'? As in a lot of conversations it might be illuminating to ask, What if the shoe was on the other foot?
• Anyway, one literally said, That. Is. The. Only. Reason. I. Came. Here!
• Kelsey Gets A Pretty Dress
• You can take the girl out of Northside (or the trailer park, or the hood or... you get the idea) but you can't take the Northside out of the girl.
• Recently I met up with FG in a common area near our apartments. I was a wearing a mustard yellow  long sleeve Henley, plaid sleeping shorts and fuzzy slippers. She was wearing a hoodie, long basketball shorts and flip flops. We evidentally felt super conspicuous when we bumped into neighbors that were not dressed like bums as she had to insure they understood she was only dressed that way as a defense against mosquitos and still be reasonably cool. I had to say something like, Personally, I don't normally dress like a crazy homeless person; but today- I just do not care.
• Last night (today is 05/12/2016) I started watching Support Your Local Sheriff again. It made Walter Brennan and Jack Elam be two of my favorite actors even as a little boy.
• Recently the news has been about the 3 car thieves who drown in Florida while some law enforcement officers were nearby. There has been outrage because they were black and under 20 years old. My first thoughts about why the police were not so quick to dive into 15 feet of water were, Uh. Alligators, Florida, Felons, Dark, Florida, Flesh eating bacteria, Dark, Could drown, Florida, Snakes, Not trained for water rescue, Florida...