Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Wednesday's Digressions

  • Until sort of recently I had a female friend who is literally beautiful. Man, she is movie star gorgeous and I am not even kidding. As a bonus, I know she  would be interested in me but I would take a pass based on one minor for lack of a better term- physical imperfection. Honestly, if you were my real friend instead of internet friend and I told you why and what bothered me about her and why she and I were not planning a wedding by now and for that matter- why I was not already carrying her baby in my womb- you would smack me upside the head to try and slap some sense into me and for days afterward you would just give me weird looks and shake your head.
  • Sorry- I don't make the rules and I did not make me- I just report the facts.
  • I won't show you but I have a picture of us together. She is beautiful and we even look good together but gag- what a freak show she was.
  • Dol Gen brand coffee is pretty OK for the price.
  • On 04/26/2015 I wrote in my notebook," Today I had chicken and waffles for the first time ever. The are good together in the way sweet and salty things are good together but they are not chocolate and peanut butter good together."
  • Chocolate and peanut butter together is one of things things if you took it and all memory of it away this very instant- within 24 hours somebody would stumble across the combination and change the world forever.
  • Do you like cordial cherries? I do and always have. When I was a kid I could eat them until sick.
  • When I was a young lad serving in the US Army's fabled  First Cavalry Division there was a guy named Seaboldt and one name Rainboldt in my company's mortar platoon. I did not know any of the other mortarmen in my company but them. Rainboldt was a very good friend and I disliked Seaboldt. 
  • To me as I write this (on 02/17/2017) the most interesting thing about Russia's likely tampering with our last election is how it caught us with our pants down. I promise you politicians and our official thinkers laid awake at night thinking about ways to keep Russia from hacking intel., how to keep the war in Ukraine contained, how to prevent a hostile interaction between our navy's in contested waters etc. but there was never a time time the smartest guy in the room said, Hey, how do we keep them from interfering with our elections...? or if he ever did stand up and say something like that he was not taken seriously.
  • Amen


Anonymous said...

It's that's one thing, isn't it? It's ugly somehow and it disgusts you enough so that when you think about waking up to it the rest of your life, you realize she's not the woman for you.

She might be cross-eyed or have a big, hooked nose like a Bedouin camel driver. Small nipples, maybe? A lisp? Crooked teeth? An unsightly birthmark? How about a butt with a circumference the size of the lounger that sits in front of the TV? Hairy forearms? Maybe she's a feminist or addicted to ear piercings. It doesn't matter -- if it attracts your attention, it attacks your intention.

After all this, you really need to fess up and let us know what is about her that bothers you. Inquiring minds want to know. Personally, I generally avoid fat women.

Can't believe you got trolled about the Russians. Don't believe that shit, it's fake.

el chupacabra said...

Hey anon. "If it attracts your attention, it attacks your attention." Man that is good.

I am trying to screw up my courage enough to tell you what it was about her that freaked me out so bad but sorry- I just do not have the intestinal fortitude. Honestly, I want you to keep believing I am fairly smart and at least NOT stupid. Gawd she is pretty but... yak. I mean, there is probably an operation for things like that... Maybe they could do a freakshowectomy...?

Yes, my thought made it sound like I had fallen for the Russian voting meddling story hook line and sinker. My intention was to frame it in 'if' terms. I let it slide when I came back to the post and published it.

Thanks for the comment.

The Donald said...

Dang, that last link was kinda addicting, after the first article, I checked another, then another...

el chupacabra said...

Hey don- Yes- GREAT resource.