Quotable Notable

If at first you don't succeed- destroy all evidence you ever tried in the first place.

Friday's Dispatch

• Although I haven't seen the most disgusting video in the history of disgusting which shall go nameless on this post- this one was quite distressing.




• Among my elderly patients and others I've encountered who live to extremely advanced old age I've noted they: 1) don't eat very much at a sitting but, eat whatever they want. 2) Eat lots of fruits and veggies though. 3) Have a good sense of humor. 4) Drink lots of water. 5) Never seem obsessive about their health but, always take an active interest. 6) Get some exercise daily and believe it's important. 7) Tend to think logically as opposed to being emotionally driven. 8) Are friendly and interested in other peoples welfare and opinions. 9) Embrace new technology.10) Read books and newspapers and/or do crossword and word search puzzles. 11) Very independent.12) Eat lots of fiber. 13) Believe in getting their rest- even if they don't sleep long. 14) Get up early- even if not morning people.15) Rarely have trouble sleeping. 16) Rarely take a lot of meds and believe most people take too many. 17) Often take vitamins. 18) Are frugal even if wealthy and not stingy. 19) Believe in passing on life lessons. 20) Usually poo poo longevity questions though and see their longevity as a product of moderation- denying there's a secret. 21) Almost always have genetic proclivity in their history 22) Almost never drink sodas. 23) May smoke but, never drink alcohol in any real quantities.




• Any others you've noticed?




• Wrote a post once while hungry at about 2 o'clock in the morning. I rambled about food for several lines then mentioned a thought about one of my former patients who died while I was holding her hand. It was too random. I went back to change it later after it posted but, folks had commented on it- so it remained.




• New truism- Never grocery shop when hungry or write a post for your blog.




• When trying to remember which has one S and which has two when writing dessert (the sweet dish at the end of a meal) and desert (a desolate place) try this: picture your favorite, yummy dessert and nothing else but, the dessert with a label leaned against it that says, Simply Sweet and read it aloud in your mind a few times while looking at the card.




• There's one problem we've solved together we'll never have to worry about again!




• When I was in high school I was in a program to help get ready for college. We did classes on Saturdays and through part of the summer. It seemed like every desk and bathroom stall had SS carved or written on it somewhere. One of the coaches at my high school in Decatur TX told me what his nickname was and to watch for it when he found out I was taking classes at his Alma Mater,"I put it everywhere!" he proudly proclaimed.




• He was called Super Sport.

There Are Few Things In This World That Simply Render Me Speechless

This is one

Yes It's Overwrought And Anthemic And Yes It's Slaughter

so if you can't handle that you might as well leave. A very good representation of the apex of mans musical endeavours- the 80s and early 90s. Ladies and gentlemen: Fly To The Angels- Slaughter.

PS Interestingly, this video should fit right with the recently released Hilary Swank movie about Amelia Earhart.

Pictures of you

They're still on my mind

You had the smile

That could light up the world

Now it rains

It seems the sun never shines

And I'll drive down

This lonely lonely road

Ooh I got this feelin'

Girl, I gotta let you go

'Cause now you've got to fly

Fly to the angels

Heavens awaits your heart

And flowers bloom in your name

You've got to fly

Fly to the angels

All the stars in the night

Shine in your name

You know it hurts me

Way deep inside

When I turn and look

And find that you're not there

I try to convince myself

That the pain, the pain

It's still not gone.

Wednesday's Digressions

• Sony has a camera mount out with a built in processor and facial recognition software. Ostensibly it's supposed to swivel around, tilt up and down and when it recognises a person click- you've got snapshots of all your favorite people from your parties. I don't know what or how exactly but, I predict bad things. At the very least there will be blogs dedicated to embarrassing pics. I also predict at least one crime solved when one is inadvertently left on some night or while a family is away on vacation.


• The neighbor who is building next to me has a friend my son knows through school. When he asked what they were like he said something like,"He is a mechanic, who doubles as a drug runner and drug dealer. Oh and he has 7 kids."


• cute


• Onion soup is the only food that really can lay me low- absolutely destroys sometimes but, I love the stuff.


• I really like my Fed Ex guy. A nice, nice man. I think a lot of sad things have happened to him- he's an extremely balanced person it seems but, yeah, I think he knows a thing or two about loss.


• Don't ask me why I think things like that about people but, I'm never wrong.
• There was kind of a big blow up when American Idol was in the South and an unhappy contestant said as he was leaving to the effect,"Take care of yourself and be careful." The shows producers and judges took it at as a veiled threat. As a lifelong member of southerly culture (Texas, Tennessee,South Carolina, Georgia) allow me to translate and expand. What he was basically saying is, Although I'm mad at you for how rude you were to me and butthurt that you dashed my illusions of great things to come I'm not going to be rude back. While you're in my fair state I'll tell you the same things I would tell my sister going off to college- take care of yourself and be careful. Yes, there may a bit more of an edge but, I'm butthurt and I'll get over it and I really don't wish anything bad on you.
• The Turdbomb is in the shop. We'll see but, confidence is high the motor is blown. Thankfully, it gave out just around the corner from gran mamas house and we coasted into the drive. Kids can be great in those conditions- I mean that with all sincerity- we're stranded, this breakdown could be what pushes us over the edge financially but, the oldest looked at it as an opportunity to hang out with his other grandmother and his cousin, the baby took an epic nap on great grandmothers big bed and the middle one split her time between watching Charlie And The Chocolate Factory and playing in grannies ginormous yard. While I'm out there in the wind and the cold alternatively kicking the car, cursing, praying to God, sweet talking the car- come on baby start my kids are with me- I'll change your oil and buy you a new battery... and checking every wire and fluid level that I ever saw work for every shade tree mechanic I've ever seen.
• Then after the tow truck picked her up I fantasised a hydraulic malfunction that caused the bed of the truck to tilt up dragging Turdbomb- sparks flying 'til she caught on fire then she rolls away and explodes against a bridge abutment in a spectacular fireball of explosive, fiery combustibility. It was favorite car! I'd scream in court, tears streaming down my face in apparent, ahem- I mean obvious sincerity.
• Of course I'd just filled up before she blew.
• Of course the above daydream didn't happen.
• I want a Suburban anyway.

One Of The Few

things in this world that the thought of can make me ashamed to be American. These children saying the pledge of allegiance are about to go to a concentration camp somewhere on the west coast during WWII.

Monday's Missives

• Is there anything any better than you're motoring down your favorite highway (or byway) driving way too fast and before you know what's up- Ponch and John whip their unit around, hit their lights and just as you are mentally looking for your license and papers and wracking your brain for that just right excuse that might help them have mercy on you- they blast right past you on the way to another call? I mean really- isn't that greatest?



• It's like winning the lottery.



• However, that reminds me- I will never lie or really even try to get out of a ticket in any way and I think that attitude has actually gotten me out of a lot of tickets. A little humor and a little respect can go a long way.



• No, really.



• There used to be two troopers in our area (Decatur TX) that were partners and were famous around here for their good looks. Really, they looked like recruiting poster models. One honestly looked a muscled up Zac Efron. I don't know how many women I've heard talking about them saying things like,"Either one of them could give me a ticket any day!"



• Sorry ladies, I don't think you are either one of their type.



• I've had food poisoning three times from restaurants.



• There aren't words.



• There is a BBQ joint near me that I get asked about a lot. People find out where I live and they'll say,"Oh, is that place any good? I've always heard it was good but, never got over there to try it." etc.



• Making me relive the time I went there and found a nice, big, long, curly, springy pubic hair in the take home container of beans.


• Thanks.



• It was black on one end and gray on the other and impossibly long for a pubic hair.



• I mean epically long.



• Good God, how does that happen? I mean as inexcusable as it would be in itself you could understand a head hair, a mustache hair, an eyelash but, good grief- a pubic hair?