Monday's Missives

• I wonder how many sit coms and movies have used the old gag of a tourist handing their camera off to a local to take a picture of them in front of a landmark and the guy runs off with the camera? A Mr. Bean episode was just on that used it and with some thought I think I could come up with specific other shows, but I know I've seen it multiple times.



• If money were no object I'd: have the worlds largest privately owned library of autographed books.



• The lunar space colony lunacy being talked about shows just how unimaginative we really are. The politicians using that idea want to sound bold, friendly to science, tech savvy and give the country a goal to unite under. There are more pressing problems in space (our odd lack of understanding of the sun being a big one). It's as if- the US, after solving all her other problems decides to build a gazillion dollar gerbil habitat on a moon. I think we'd be amazed how much better off we'd be if made and sold more things in the private sector and cut down on waste and fraud in the public sector and minded our own beeswax a bit more.



• Yes, somebody will have to go at some point to extract helium when we finally pull our heads out and figure out how to use fusion to produce energy, but that won't require a full on colony and to whatever extent it's colonised for that purpose it should be multinational. Regardless- we'll have to pull our heads out first.



• Anyway, what will we do about the Nazis that have been living on the dark side of the moon for the past 70 years?



• I mean really, think about it- Space Nazis!



• Shudder...

Sunday's Summary

• During a new patient interview recently a female patient said,"If you're going to ask me about my sex life, don't even bother. There hasn't been any of that in a long time." She then burst into tears.







• If I was fabulously wealthy and cost was no object I'd have: a 12 cylinder Mercedes, black in color with alligator upolstery on the seats and ostrich for the armrests. The wood interior trim would require a small South American rain forest to be deforested.







• Oh, and it would have spider monkey fur carpeting.







• I deal with a lot of mentally ill people in my work. A big thing that has always stood out? I've never met a schizophenic patient who wasn't a heavy smoker.







• Dread Zeppelin Good Time Bad Times

Zacism

This is soooo good! Do you know how long it will take me to eat this? Maybe an hour or even more! What he said on having his first Dippin' Stick.

Friday's Dispatch

• At my breakfast place if I go in late there's too many people for me and more often than not I'll leave after a quick coffee.







• For the life of me I cannot comprehend what Newt Gingrich's marital relationships has to do with anything. They obviously never caused a big enough distraction to him in the past to affect his abilities and the problems are obviously in the open- so he can't be extorted over them.







• I use gel insoles in every pair of boots and shoes I own. The last pair I trimmed to the wrong size and stuffed them in my shoes. The resulting misplacement caused an alignment problem and an alteration in my gait that had my knee, hip and back in such bad shape I thought I'd be crawling by the time I got to my car from the office at the end of one day. A chiropractor could not have asked for a better case study.







• My favorite jeans are worn smooth out- they're literally threadbare in places, but they are also soft as silk. I'll wear them until I start getting police complaints.







• I cannot recall the last time I intentionally tried to hurt somebodies feelings.







• The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl Fairy Tale Of New York

Thursday's Thoughts

• When talking to foreign born patients I like to find some kind of common ground then, see how their experiences and perceptions differ from mine related to that subject. With this is mind I got a patient to tell me what it was like to go fishing in Africa. He did the obligatory holding the bent imaginary fishing pole and then stretched his arms out to indicate how long the fish was and used his hands to demonstrate it's gaping mouth. He then said, My cousin said, Goget eet- go get eet out mon. Joomp mon joomp. (his normally excellent English started getting more garbled the more excited he got telling the story). So I joomped- I joomped dee fish and she shawt me! She shawt me. It knocked me out. So, I never fish again.




• It took me a minute to process- it was an electric fish and it shocked him- it did not shoot him.




• I watched a recently produced documentary on the Gulf War recently. It was interesting to me that the last time I heard those stories was around a camp fire at Ft Wolters Texas.




• Maybe the plethora of online universities should have fantasy football and basketball leagues and set up conferences etc.




• This armed robbery did not go as planned




• This is what LSD must be like- regardless, great music and interesting imagery.

Woo Hoo- Who's The Loser Now?

CHARLES CASTEL CHAMBERS.FROM THE DESK OF BARRISTER CHARLES CASTEL16 Fetter Lane, London EC4A 1BWDX: 407 London Chancery Lane United Kingdom



Good Day, My name is Barrister Charles Castel.

I was the attorney to Late DrPeter Howlands and i hereby attempt to reach you again by this same email address stated on the WILL as my previous notification to youwas returned undelivered. I wish to notify you that late Dr Peter Howlands made you a beneficiary to his WILL. He left the sum of twoHundred and fifty Thousand Great Britain Pounds (GBP£250,000.00) to you in the codicil and last testament to his WILL. Being a widely travelled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were recommended to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good. He was a very dedicated Christian who loved to be involved in charitable projects.Late Dr Peter Howlands died on the 18th day of August, 2008 at the age of 70years, and his WILL is now ready for execution. According to him this money is to support your humanitarian activities and to help the poor and the needy in our society. Please if I reach you this time as I am hopeful, endeavour to getback to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job. I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.Yours in Service,Barrister Charles Castel.(Head of Chambers.)EMAIL: barr.charles.castel.chambers1@



This must be legit, I mean after he is a Barrister (and he capitalises will a lot)! I'm expecting to have a lot of new friends now that I'm rich so get in line and also, I do want to thank all the little people who believed in me and made this all possible.

To everyone else- in your face!

Wednesday's Digressions

• Last voicemail I received: Hey dad, wanted to say thanks for the backpack and the ACU trousers- oh and the money that was in the trousers. Call me back.



• Isn't that nice? Wait- what? Money!? Doh!



• Honestly, I have no idea- there may have been 5.00 or 500.00$ in there. It would have been left from my last active duty days.



• File this under you didn't even know you liked Ska : Rancid- Time Bomb.



• You're welcome.



• I bet if you met President Obama and hung out he would be impossible to dislike.



• A business owner I've done business with for years called this evening to tell me she's going out of business.



• If I know nothing else about people, I know they come and go- they die, you hurt them, they hurt you and sometimes, you just drift apart. I have exactly one female and two guy friends that I know we'll be together to the end. A lot of people know me, but I have only 3 true friends.



• Story Of The Year- Until The Day I Die.