Wednesday's Digressions

• It is 0735 on 02/02/2017 and a hiccup just caused me to partially inhale a toothpick. Whoa that was scary. That would have been a stupid way to die.
• And yes- honestly, it was mildly terrifying when that happened.
• Man- what a stupid way to die that would have been.
• Gotta love that lifesaving cough reflex though- amiright?!
• Soap is getting better. I think I am on episode 42
• This past weekend I accidentally picked up book #12 instead of 11 of The Walking Dead. It was always pretty good so I am not making a dig by saying- it didn't get really good until about book #10.
• This morning (02/06/2017) I had a dream a girlfriend had a baby. We were walking around in Diamond supermarket in Decatur. At one point I said, Here, let me hold her. She was warm and soft and cooed like a dove. It felt good.
• My scrubs stay in the closet by the front door. I walk around in my chonies (or nekkid) until time for work then I slip the scrubs on when I am on my way out the door. It is one of those things- I cannot tell you why I do it but it makes sense and I am very unlikely to change.
• Recently I learned an old Army buddy died several years ago. The last thing he ever said to me was something like, Well, so long. I'm sure we'll see each other around sometime, somewhere. but we did not see each other around some time. I have an outline written to tell some of our stories. You will not believe me when you read them though.
• Interestingly- I never saw him again after we parted ways at Fort Hood but I met his parents and was a guest in their home.
• This morning (02/08/2017) as I walked down to my truck I started singing Way Down We Go by Kaleo. When I got in and turned on my sweet, sweet Alpine stereo that song started playing on 97.1.

Monday's Missives

• Recently (today is 12/08/2016) while watching some war pron about the siege of Aleppo I thought, Right about then is when I would have a headache, backache and my feet would be hurting... That is how you know you are getting old. Ten years ago I would have daydreamed about getting into the same fight with those guys. Today I know were I there right now- I would want a pain pill, a nice cup of hot chocolate and a nap.
• There was another dead person on the road on I30 on my way to work recently. They were I think within 100 feet of the last I saw but I do not know if there is low income housing on one side or the other or if it was a coincidence or what. I have never seen anyone cross near there.
• Yesterday I saw 2 guys pulled over by DPS. Approximately a quarter of a mile down the road there was an Chevy Avalanche pulled well off the road with it's flashers on. It had impossibly dark tinted windows. Although it was different types of vehicles the 2 other times- this is the third time I have seen this happen on 30- no way it was a coincidence. I can guess the Avalanche driver set the drivers of the pick up for some type of drug buy and that is where the bust went down man.
• Yesterday (today is 12/15/2016) a supervisor who is actually from another department sought my input about the use of and placement of some new equipment. It was an impromptu heads up- not an an official meeting of the minds. He happens to be a guy. Although I do not remember exactly what I was saying it involved (legitimately) the insertion of the tip of a piece of equipment into another. I said, So yeah, I needed to put the tip of it in there- just the tip... Whereupon he started grinning like a possum eating a dead cat. Seeing this I hammed it up and said, Oh yeaaaah- baby let me put the tip in- just the tip. Come on baby- I love you... We both burst out laughing. I had to dive into an empty office to compose myself. When I stepped back out he was was leaning against the wall. His papers were lying on the floor where they had fallen and tears were streaming down his face.
• 85- our combined ages. 300- number of college credit hours we likely have between us.

Morticia or Lilly as Most Awesome Queen Of The Darkside? There was nothing wrong with Lilly but, I think most any guy of my generation would choose Morticia plus she was born in Amarillo and there's just something about Texas women right? Also, she didn't need all the make up to come across a little creepy but, still beautiful.

Here's what Charles Addams the creator of The Addams Family had to say about Morticia:

The real head of the family…low-voiced, incisive and subtle, smiles are rare…ruined beauty…contemptuous and original and with fierce family loyalty…even in disposition, muted, witty, sometimes deadly…given to low-keyed rhapsodies about her garden of deadly nightshade, henbane and dwarf’s hair…

She once told her sister she wanted her epitaph to be: "She gave joy to the world", well said and well played dear lady. Carolyn Jones was taken from us too soon in 1983 at age 53.

When I'm Rich

I'll have pet dingoes. Then I can ask chicks, Do you want to pet my dingo?

Wednesday's Digressions

What most women I have ever met have said.

• This morning (today is 01/24/2017) I drove past a scene involving 3-4 fort Worth PD cars and a vehicle stopped on the shoulder of I30. I did not see them until I well past in spite of them all having their emergency lights on. That is either some super focused driving I was doing or I was in my own little world and a definite danger to myself and others.
• Last night (today is 01/25/2017) I watched a bunch of Shirley Temple shorts and a movie. They were on a compilation DVD I have owned for years but never watched.  Have you ever watched Baby Burlesks (or any of the other titles in that same vein?). They are disturbing. The weird thing is- aside from one movie of hers (I think it was titled The Little Colonel or something like that) I had never seen any of her movies. Anyway- unnerving.
• On my drive in this morning there was a UPS truck driving like a maniac while towing a double trailer.
• Trump did not quite win the political lottery that Bill Clinton won with the explosion of internet commerce and the end of the Cold War but more businesses were inevitably going to stay in the US anyway (or even return from overseas) due to the cost of Chinese labor and shipping increasing- so he is going to look super good at creating jobs.
• Related fact: He will also just by force of his personality bring businesses back and get others to stay- that is how human interactions work (even large human enterprises like economies). Bonus information: tax breaks and easing of regulations will actually and hugely contribute to the growth of jobs, although the average person will not know that unless they read Drudge or listen to conservative talk radio.
• Bait Car is a guilty pleasure for me.
• Night before last (today is 01/27/2017) I was watching a movie when I overheard a kind of intense knocking on my door. It was well past 11 O'clock. Being as I am no longer 19 years old and I do not have a steady girlfriend- it is very out of the ordinary for somebody to be knocking on my door that late at night. When I went to see who it was I could not see a thing through the peephole as the porch light was burned out. After retrieving my pistola I went to the balcony and looked around to the front porch- it was a recent ex girlfriend looking for a booty call. Here is the question; what would you do in a case like that? No- I don't mean the booty call issue. I think you can handle that as you are smart and good looking. Would you just lie there in bed and wonder who and why? Would you throw the door open while unarmed and hope the person on the other side is not the Hillside Strangler? Preemptively start punching 5.56 caliber holes through the door with your Bushmaster? Or?

Monday's Missives

• A couple of times a week I see the same Corvette in traffic on my way to work. He drives like a maniac.
• At work one of my nursing buddies and I hold hands sometimes as we chat or see each other walking in or out of the building. There is nothing to it- it is just nice.
• Years ago there was  an elderly lady who burned herself with some McDonald's coffee. The resulting lawsuit and consequent multimillion dollar award was used to prove everything that was wrong with American society and how out of control and irresponsible we were. She shouldn't have put that cup between her legs to pop the lid off; doing so was the dumbest thing she did that day but there is more than meets the eye in that case. Did you know that first all she wanted was her medical bills to be paid and for McDonald's to turn the heat down just a tad or that she had second and third degree burns requiring skin grafts and that McDonald's was known for their coffee being hotter than national standards and averages? Of course you didn't know all that. You believe what you believe about that case because corporate giants want you to believe it (so you will be less likely to defend yourself and sue like the crazy lady with the burned cooter) and because we are in general terrible processors of information.
• Addendum to the previous thought: I won't post them but there are images of that women's burns out there on the Internets free for the searching. Be forewarned though- they are ookie.
• This morning (02/04/2016) as I watched a DVD of Flight of the Conchords the main character's friend Dave mentioned Escape From Alacatraz and on the way to work The Musers were talking about Alcatraz.
• Random.

Friday's Dispatch

• During part of my training to deploy we were taught by police officers from multiple agencies how to interact with people. During a use of force scenario the question was posed, What if their hands are up? That is the oldest trick in the book was the answer. We were taught the distance at which you cannot stop a rush without a weapon at the ready (18 feet?) And one with a weapon at the ready (8 feet?) And then we experimented by actually role playing and bum rushing each other. We not only knew what to expect from the scenario- we knew each other well and we simply could not overcome the inertia those close distances brought to the exercise. 

•  A bonus: we were all more/less equally matched and completely sober. What if a police officer is outmatched by a guy who has a foot of height, the same in reach and outweighs him by a hundred pounds and might be chemically impaired?

• I'll take you to the traditional cat circus! A quote from the greatness that is Danger 5. 

•  My boss is from Alabama. As I write this (01/11/2017) he is still trying to recover from Monday's game. Honestly- I do not even like to tease him about it as the first time time I ribbed him about 'Bama's loss tears welled up in his eyes. 

•  Last night I rewatched the great movie Gladiator. It is odd to me that I did not remember the very annoying music which played over the opening battle scene. It was so out of place I presumed I had another instance of my video player or music player open and stopped the movie to close the offending noise maker. As a bonus- it sounds like music from Pirates of the Caribbean. . 

•  I got old somehow.