Proverbially Speaking

"Do not insult the mother alligator until after you have crossed the river."

-- Haitian Proverb

Monday's Missives

• Huitlacoche is good. I eat it- I like it but when you see it in a restaurant they church it up by calling it a truffle. Ask what it is and the server will tell you, It is a mushroom that grows on corn. It is in the same kingdom as mushroom- fungi but that is where similarities end. It is a smut that infects corn with spores. 
• Who would eat it if they knew it was a disease and it was openly offered as, "Corn Smut Quesadillas"? 
• We fed grasshoppers and our used gum to harvester ants last (09/16/2016) night at Holland Lake.
• We are going to the Indian Pow Wow at Traders Village today. 
• I am rereading Empire Of The Summer Moon. This will be at least the third and maybe fourth time I have read it this year. It is a great book about my favorite Indian (Quanah Parker), a favorite tribe (Comanche) and a favorite time period in US history- the 1860s in general and Plains Indian War period in particular. 
• There are multiple mind blowing trivia things regarding Blazing Saddles but my first two biggies would be that John Wayne was offered the role of Waco Kid but declined as it would be too blue for his image. The second bit of trivia that always makes me say, Wow when I remember it or see it in print is that Gig Young was actually cast in the  role but was fired after he collapsed on the set secondary to alcohol withdrawal (or being blind drunk- depending on which source you want to believe).
• I have no hate in my heart but medically there is something dreadfully wrong with Hilary Clinton.

Friday Evening Dispatch

• Today (07/30/2016) we went to Chickasaw Nation Cultural Center. Zac danced with the dancers during the Snake and Four Corners dances. That was pretty cool to see.
• We are staying at the lodge at Lake Murray SP. I foolishly walked across an asphalt parking lot to go to the pool without shoes. While I did not complete my asphalt degree I do seem to recall from my course work that on a 100 degree day the black surface of asphalt pavement heats to about a billion degrees. Consequently, I have a blister across the ball of my right foot that is epic.
• I need new sandals is one of the take aways of the previous thought.
• I might be imbecilic might be another- but we won't talk about that.
• The pool was not nearly as crowded as I anticipated.
• The food here in the lodge is adequate. It keeps you from driving into town, makes you not hungry and is better than having a stick poked in your eye-but it is not great.
• The marina here rents boats. About the only thing scarier than owning a boat would be renting one (which sounds terrifying to me).
• There is a family here for a reunion that I am sure is from Weatherford. If I had a guess where I had seen them from I would approach the patriarch (who looks most familiar).
• Man my feet hurt.
• Last night before bed Zac came out of shower and said, Dad I saw a lizard. It went down the drain! I went and looked but saw nothing. Although he is a good observer and not prone to lying it would be easy to wonder, Did he see a piece of vaguely lizard looking lint or...? It is 0317 on 07/31/2016 and I am sitting in the parlor of the lodge with the night clerk as she takes her break. I awoke at this ungodly hour because when I turned in bed a book flipped off onto the floor startling me. I got up at this ungodly hour to pee. I am still up at this ungodly hour because I had to take the Mediterranean gecko which I caught in the shower outside. 
• She is watching Homicide Life On The Street. 
• The clerk I mean, not the gecko.
• Last night we chatted with the maintenance guy who was holding a radio in his hand. Zac said, At first I thought it was a gun, then a knife. Then I realized it is just one of those walkie talkie things.
• What a world we have created for our kids.
• Zac asked if I could live here in the lodge. The answer would be sure but it would be better to be in the new one they are building right on the edge of the lake. This one is kinda beaten down.
• The server at breakfast this morning was sweaty.
• The 2 old guys at the table behind me are talking about Lyster bags which were bags used by the military to hold water. They resembled a duffle and were made of the same canvas material. They had spigots around the bottom that you drew water from. They would leak like mad until the material swelled- then they held pretty well. If your unit was squared away they would drop a block of ice in the bag for you.  I can taste canvas as plain as day just hearing my elderly neighbors speak.
• Today is 07/31/2016 and we are back at the Chickasaw Recreation Area. I am sitting beside an Indian guy from OKC at Little Niagara swimming hole. We have exchanged pleasantries, jibes and travel tips. Although I don't know his name I picture it being Tommy Redcloud and he is my only Indian friend. His girlfriend has an old English accent. No, I don't mean old as in Olde and before Middle English- just that she is from England and has been here long enough she has lost most of her accent. She also has a small black eye I presume Tommy gave her several days ago. She is pretty and he is what they used to call ruggedly handsome. They are madly in love.
• Zac is talking to a woman who is covered in tattoos. She she just laughed at something he said and put her hand on his shoulder.
• Somebody hollered, Snake! and everyone bailed out of the swimming hole like magic. It was a garter snake. I tried to catch him as other guys have stated their intention to kill him. I wanted to rescue him and Zac to be the one to carry him to safety. Mr. Snake was too wily and elusive for me though and slipped off into the nearby bushes. The kids surrounding the pool looked at me like I was crazy as I tried to catch him. They looked at me like I was insane when I said the snake would not hurt them and they could get back in. It took me diving into the water to get everybody back in.
• It seems like the water would be too cold for a snake but I also seem to recall garter snakes being very cold tolerant- although I might be making that up.
• The water smells mineral-ie and makes your skin feel  super soft.
• We moved to another pool. Zac spoke to 2 adult white guys for several minutes. As they left him one offered his hand and said, Well, it was good to meet you Zac. I'll see you later.
• Mexican guys, bro-douche white guys and lesbians like being seen walking pit bull dogs.
• Lesbians often have boy children with pierced ears and girl children who are butched up.
• Kevin those are racist, xenophobic and homophobic statements! you scream at me.
• No, those are observations based on things I saw at Chickasaw NRA and many other places.
• Goodnight world wherever you are.
• I love you in spite of yourself.

The Last E Mail I Received

Muchas gracias. Tu espanol es buenisimo. I love it !!

Friday's Dispatch

• Recently (today is 08/30/2016) I saw a Fort Worth PD car that was displaying an upside down American flag above the windshield.
• Easy there tiger. Calm down. It will be OK.
• Malcolm X had to me a pleasant speaking voice.
• I am listening to this as I write.
• Last night over dinner my friend quoted Johhny Dangerously multiple times- a movie we had never discussed even though I have known him 20+ years. Interestingly, we had rewatched it weeks or maybe a few months apart for the first each in 10-15 or even more years. My cheeks still hurt from laughing.
• I had brisket sausage for the first time in my life. It won't be the last though.
• You could not force me at gunpoint to be a cop- a profession I once considered seriously enough to get some college credits toward a CJ degree.
• George Armstrong Custer's family would have called him Armstrong except for his own mispronunciation of the name when he was a little boy.
• They called him Autie. 
• Somebody I have to deal with on a near daily basis is demonstrably a malignant narcissist- as in a by the book, line by line, check the boxes malignant narcissist psychopath. 
• George Goodfellow was an interesting character

Wednesday's Digressions

• My Asian Buddhist mentor has commented on our Presidential choices by saying, You can take your pick. It is your choice- you can either have a heart attack or get cancer...
• Recently  a politician caught some flak for not knowing where Allepo is and why it is important now. That is nearly unbelievable. Even a putz like me knows: it is one of the oldest continually inhabited cities in the world (Shakespeare mentioned it in at least one play). It was the largest in Syria. Now IS controls half and the Syrian government control the other.
• Those facts are all I know but I know them and it is not my job to know anything about the place.
• The Resident Evil movies are really, really good.
• Recently I rewatched I Am Legend. It is way better than I thought I remembered it to be.
• At dinner recently because of a servers heavy accent I inadvertently replied to her and made part of my order in Spanish.
• A friend after visiting Mexico left her bags in a taxi losing all the souvenirs she brought back for us- except for the tiny leather cowboy hat with my name burned on the brim. We took that as a sign.
• A sign of what- we don't know.
• Friend always comes out as frined for me these days and these always comes out theses. God- yes even then it came out theses-all 3 times.
• It is all downhill from here folks.
• Recently I caught somebody watching pron at work.
• Ridiculous.

Monday's Missives

• Last night (today is 07/16/2016 @0503) I dreamt I visited a factory that made sleeping bags that used body bags for covers. My eldest son worked there and helped design them.
• The official name for a body bag is Pouch: Human Remains. They come in boxes of ten. An old friend would swear that one of his Army units issued everybody one and soldiers had to carry it in their rucksacks in case they became casualties.  In Iraq we carried reflective burn blankets that were to do double duty- burned people would of course be wrapped in them to treat for shock but dead folks could also be rolled up and then the roll would be secured with 100mph tape.
• My first encounter with body bags was helping move some stuff around in the supply room of K Troop 3/11 ACR in Bad Hersfeld Germany. The boxes were big but did not weigh as much as intuitively one would guess for their size so it made us read the label on the side of box.
• Pouch: Human Remains 10 ea.
• This morning I was the first commenter on a Youchoobs video. I do not think that has ever happened to me before.
• For some reason I recently took note of the average cost to build a pool in my area. It was cheaper than I thought it would be by about half - it is rare for me to get something like that so wrong.
• I awoke this morning thinking about grilled shrimp and steak.
• Two patients- one a male the other female whom we know live together refer to each other by turns as brother and sister, boyfriend and girlfriend and husband and wife. Good grief, you wild and crazy kids- get your stories straight. 
• Regardless of any other consideration- they think everybody else in the world is as stupid as they themselves are.
• The overnight forecast calls for humidity to be nearly 80%. How can that be so without it pouring rain? I mean come on universe!
• There are tons of bookmarks on my tablet and I make new favorites frequently but I have never referred back to any of them- ever.
• Russian TOS 1A MLRS in action. Wow.