On This Day In 2000

James Jim Varney often thought of as Ernest P. Worrel died of lung cancer. His last words were, Please, leave the window open.

Friday's Dispatch

• My children all like foods and drinks I dislike and dislike some of both I love. Interestingly, they all love breads and cheeses of all kinds and love trying new types of both.


• Maybe I did something right.


• As a child we went to family reunions that were really a reunion of people from a dying community- although many people were related. I think often of all those wild kids I played with, wonder how they are and hope the best for them. The building we met in was of sandstone construction and had swamp cooler air conditioners. We would take the sides off the AC and splash water on ourselves to cool down and when our parents could slow us down for 5 seconds we'd eat pecan pie and drink Kool Aid like there was no tomorrow and head back out to play again.


• It's funny- there really was no tomorrow.


• I've talked a little about this before, but in recent years past we've had entire multi state regions go without water and we're talking about lunar colonies?! God, we're dumb. I mean, we are our own worst enemies. I mean really- holy smokes we're stupid.


• I walked along the avenue. I never thought I'd meet a girl like you.

Thursday's Thoughts

Another First World problem

• A Spanish speaking friend gave me a pretty cool sounding Spanish nic name. I told her to give me some time to come up with a good one for her.



• Chika de ojos cafe. Was the best I could do.



• Which translates, The girl with the brown eyes.



• Pretty tough to beat huh?



• My pinky finger still hurts like crazy.



• I saw a Rehr Morrison Racing van today. They were really big when I was into racing many moons ago. One of their drivers got killed on a test pass. He wasn't wearing his restraints or helmet. Very sad- he would probably still be alive today- instead of one of those cautionary tales (and very random blog post) if he'd just been a little more careful.

Southern Fried Expressions

He is so ugly- his mama took him with her everywhere she went so she wouldn't have to kiss him goodbye.



She is as ugly as home made soap.



He is so ugly- his cooties have to close their eyes.



She is as ugly as a mud fence.

Wednesday's Digressions

• The other day a patient finished treatment during a visit to my office. He had been erroneously told or misunderstood that his treatment would go on for a few weeks more. When I congratulated him and started giving him his post treatment education he fell back in his chair. If I'd been forced to guess I would have said the room was spinning for him. He said, It's over? This has been a big part of my day for a while now. Ya'll have have been so nice and good to me and helped me a lot.







• That was a good feeling.







• A little time away is probably good for both parents and children, but I'm not any good when I'm away from my children for too long. I get heart sick over missing them- I'm literally lost during those times.







• I hardly ever refer to children as kids- there's nothing wrong with it, I just don't.







• Look, you and I don't have to excuse or explain anything one of us says to the other. I know what you stand for and are made of and the same goes for me to you. Just tell me what you think and feel. That's all I care about. What I said to my friend when I guess I got a little perturbed at her feeling she had to set things up in a conversation too much without just yeah- telling me how she felt about something or what her thoughts were on the subject.







• Trashcan Sinatras To Sir With Love

'Til Tuesday

A first world problem





• A friend is a massage therapist. When she was actively practicing she almost always went to the clients businesses, homes or hotels. She told me essentially 100% of the time the person assumed the message therapy was a front for prostitution and would start getting grabby.






• Recently a friend suggested an acquaintance and I get together. I think the gesture was probably well intentioned and sweet, but- she and I could not be more ill suited for each other. I mean- really, I wondered, You do know both of us- right? But, again- I had to remind myself the gesture was sweet, good intentioned, sincere and then drop the subject.






• I'm getting tired of looking at my bike and I'm considering telling my buddy to come pick it up.






• First world problem: I'm dying for either a delicious BBQ sandwich stacked with onions and jalapenos or a rib plate and I'm contemplating buying both and having at least some of each tonight and saving the rest for tomorrow. Although, I already owe my nursing buddy lunch and have committed to catfish and shrimp with jalapeno poppers for tomorrow.






• I'll never go to Taco Cabana again.






• I misspelled jalapenos every time I tried above.






• Yes- even that time.






• I'm walking out the door for just the sandwich with extra onions and jalapenos.






• See- it's all about self control...






• The Coon Huntin' Monkey

A Modern Day Classic I'm Sure- Soon To Be Released

Osombie- the story of a NATO Special Forces team tasked with hunting down zombie Osama and his undead minions. It looks so bad- it can't possibly be bad!