Goodbye Neil Strong Arm

When I walked out of the house this morning I looked up and saw the full moon. My first thought- Oh man they're burying Neil Armstrong today. Neil Armstrong was a test pilot who flew over 200 types of aircraft including the 4000 mph X-15. He did this after spending a few years being shot by catapult off the deck of aircraft carriers.
He flew armed recon missions in Korea. On one mission part of a wing was sliced off by a pole- while he was flying 20 feet off the ground
He also exploded away from earth leaving a trail of flame and smoke miles long in a tin can that was powered by thousands of tons of explosive and flew 200,000 miles away from Earth and landed on our moon. When he got there he stomped on it's surface and then stabbed it in the face with a stick topped by the American flag. He then said those immortal words, I. Own. You.
The first moon landing is literally my first vivid childhood memory.
I was five and I remember it like it was yesterday.

Men went to sleep at night and dreamed of waking up and being him. Women went to sleep at night and dreamed of waking and being pregnant by him.

He didn't die from old age. He had been considering getting a degree in medicine and learning the guitar and then becoming a rock star/brain surgeon, but he decided, Nah, I'll leave that to the mortals and then having nothing else left to do he punched the eject button and said, Goodbye Earth one last time.

Zombie Crackhead Angelina?

Wednesday's Digressions

Einsteins office the day he died

• An elderly gentleman I was friends with once gave me an old chainsaw after hearing me mention working on another. I don't know the brand. The saw itself is so old the man who gave it to me referenced it's age by his very long marriage and the store he bought it at which was so long gone from Weatherford I had never even heard of it. It is made completely of metal and feels like it weighs about 50 pounds. The muffler long ago burned out and the resulting shell acts as an echo chamber. It's as loud as thunder and will make your hands numb and give you a headache after 15 minutes of use. It's kind of cool though and  he was very proud to hand it down to me. I guess it's the torch is passed to a new generation kind of thing.
• Well, it did catch fire the first time I got it running.
• I don't know what an evangelical Christian is, but suspect I am one (though maybe not the best).
• The other day I saw two hawks attacking some doves in a tree while being mobbed by scissor tails, mockingbirds and crows.
• Ornithilogical gang violence.
• Zac to his mom: you should see dad's new girlfriend, she is soooo pretty and has beautiful eyes!
• Where would we be without wing men?
• I'm about to have the most disgusting mushroom bacon cheeseburger with fires for breakfast you've ever seen.
• Fires? I do that nearly every time.

Lyrically Speaking

Pepper by the BH Surfers



Mikey got with Sharon,

Sharon got Sheriee She was sharin' Sharon's outlook on the topic of disease

Mikey had a facial scar and Bobby was a racist

They were all in love dyin' they were doin' it in Texas

Tommy played piano like a kid out in the rain then he lost his leg in Dallas he was dancin' with the train

They were all in love with dyin' they were drinkin' from a fountain

That is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain

I don't mind the sun sometimes the images it shows

I can taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes

Cinnamon and sugar-y and softly spoken lies

You never know just how you look through other people's eyes

Some will die in hot pursuit and fiery auto crashes

Some will die in hot pursuit while sifting through my ashes

Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain That is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain

I don't mind the sun sometimes the images it shows

I can taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes

Cinnamon and sugar-y and softly spoken lies

You never know just how you look through other people's eyes

Another Mikey took a knife while arguing in traffic

Flipper died a natural death he caught a nasty virus

Then there was the ever-present football player rapist

they were all in love with dyin' they were doin' it in Texas

Paulie caught a bullet but it only hit his leg

While it should have been a better shot got him in the head

They were all in love with dyin' they were drinkin' from a fountain

That was pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain

I don't mind the sun sometimes the images it shows

I can taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes

Cinnamon and sugar-y and softly spoken lies

You never know just how you look through other people's eyes

Pure Genius

An old friend went on an elk hunting trip years ago and as these stories go of course, the simple became confusing and the enjoyable became terrifying. As I recall, his 4 wheeler couldn't climb a slope that the others negotiated so he went around and found a less arduous path and when he got to the top everyone was gone. He ended up getting lost and spending the night with only a light jacket in Colorado in the winter. He was smart enough to try to start a fire with his gun by removing powder from a shell, putting it on tinder and firing at it but, it didn't work. At 3 am he'd been without water for hours and decided to give in and get a drink from a stream nearby. No surprise- he slipped and fell into the freezing water. Knowing he was done for now if he didn't move, he took off walking and stumbled onto a road hours later where some guy picked him up and said,"Are you that guy everyone is looking for?"





His wife wrote this to the tune of I Will Survive after he got home. That incident must have happened 10? years ago and I didn't remember even having this but, found it in a drawer the other day.





At first I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking bout how you were missing all through the night
But then that call soon came in
It was Steve on the other end
You had been found, just a wandering around

And now you’re back from that scary place
You just walked in here
With that nasty beard upon your face
Go straight to the bathroom and jump right into the shower
I’ve gone seven days without you, so now what’s another hour

Go on now go
Walk through that door
Don’t turn around now, cuz you’re a really smelly soul
You know this wouldn’t have happened if you had had you
GPS
Bet you with you’d paid attention when they were teaching
East from West

Oh no not I…
I will survive
Now that you are home, I thank God your still alive
We’ve got all our lives to live
And still so much love to give
I survived, you survived, hey hey!!!

Best News Quote Ever?

"MARYSVILLE, Md. - Three generations of the same family ended up in jail over the weekend after a family fracas.
The Maryland State Police went to a home in Marysville when a man said his father, 42-year-old Michael Shoemaker, and his 17-year-old brother broke in and stole his dog.
The brother, who was not named because he is under age, was charged with burglary and theft.
Michael Shoemaker said he would come back and burn the house down. He was charged with making a threat of arson. He is free on $10,000 bail.
While troopers were investigating, the occupant's grandfather, 66-year-old Robert S. Shoemaker became belligerent. He was charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest, and also hauled off to jail." myfox.com

Best Of Craigslist

best of craigslist > ottawa > you had a commanding presence... - w4m Originally Posted: Sat, 21 Feb 00:18 EST
you had a commanding presence... - w4m
Date: 2009-02-21, 12:18AM EST
Thursday afternoon. I noticed you from across Sussex. You were tall, dark and ravishingly handsome. I noticed that you had a pretty sweet ride, so I imagine you're fairly well to-do, but it was your personality that truly won me over. You grinned as you cruised the busier-than-usual sidewalks, surrounded by sunglasses-sporting, suit-clad friends; a testament, I imagine, to your engaging disposition. You mentioned, in a decidedly foreign accent, something about buying gifts for your daughters. A father! I don't normally go for men so significantly older than myself, but you radiated an aura of security that calmed me profoundly. It may have been the fact that most of your friends wielded guns, but I think there was something more. You seemed rushed, so I didn't approach you. Now I'm wishing I had. Call me crazy, but I think I know you from somewhere... A past life? Either way, if this is you, give me a shout. I'd love to go for Beaver Tails and a Keith's.
Location: by ward market
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interestsPostingID: 1043816213