Hospital Waiting Room Story

• I try not to be too critical of other healthcare workers but talking way too loud on a cel phone about your dumb personal business as you walk through a hospital is at best as dumb and annoying as it is anywhere and probably a little unprofessional.
• A thing here is for women to wear top to bottom black and have their hair dyed black.
• An excerpt from a next blog foray: "In summation, Jesse was at Grahams cottage. Jesse died, but thanks to scientific research, Jesse was ressurected, and transformed into a moist tortilla. Jesse was then transformed into Hitler (somehow), while Graham flushed the remnants of the tortilla away.  Graham was then plowing the wall, while Zack starting feeding Jesse tortillas aggresively. Meanwhile, Bethany was staring suspiciously into Riley's basement. Meanwhile, Denholm was stomping Blakes kittens, to apologize for killing Riley. Bethany hopped down out of Riley's cellar, and witnessed the feline stomping, and was mortified..."
• There is a Starbucks up in here. It is expensive. I assume no more so others but wouldn't really know as I haven't bought anything from one since the total for 2 coffees 10-15 years ago made me simultaneously have a stroke and myocardial infarction. 
• Their coffee is bitter- what is the appeal? People do like knowing that other know they go there so there is that I suppose.
• A guy just changed the television to a football station. There are 3 people on there talking about football. Retarded.
• They made sure to have a white guy, a black guy and a black lady. Ridiculous.
• I could watch those NFL Films products from the 1960s on a loop.
• Hospital waiting room furniture is scientifically designed to be uncomfortable. Look it up- it is on the internets under, The Science.
• A pregnant crackhead just staggered by.
• Just came out juts up there first.

____________ family- right?

I just wanted to let you know the surgery has started and everything is going alright- so far.

An update the information lady just gave us. That was alright- I guess but maybe leave off the, so far part Next time. It sounded way more ominous than you intended or the situation dictated.

Monday's Missives

• Of all the ill advised tattoos a woman could get the giant angel wings on the back is probably the most ridiculous.
• I have and always have had 2 red freckles on my chest. I assume they're tiny hemangiomas but I'm not sure.
  
• Recently I read a nutrition article written about it's importance in regards to hiking. The tips provided were from a well known hiker who has documented hiking over 50 thousand miles and regularly hikes for weeks to months at a time. There was quite a bit to learn especially his reliance on beans (he ate 120 pounds worth on one epic multi month hike) but what really stood out to me was his weight maintenance. His weight was reported to stay with 2-3 pounds regardless of his activity. I can lose 2-3 pounds or even 7 in a single day when it is hot and I'm really active.
• Flattering and slightly unnerving: recently a patient reacted with surprise to my meager Arabic vocabulary and language skills by saying, My friend! You speak Arabic?! and with an Iraqi accent!
• Regardless, he is easily impressed and should get out more often.
• I just submitted an REI order. When the cart was first built up it contained 13 items.
• To help me save money I focus less on the high I get from spending and focus on the negative aspects- how bummed I'll be for wasting the money, fear of not having said cash for actual needs etc. Then when I overcome the urge to spend, make good deals and get more of what I need and less of what I want I feel really, really good about that.
• Jedi inner mind tricks.

  

  Drawing made in 1877 by a Kiowa Indian of a battle

Terribleist

video in the history of the yoochoobs. I mean really- not even so bad it's good. It's just terrible.

Pobody's Nerfect

I Need Your Opinion Internet Friend

Today I have been Emailing a Woman With Whom I Spend Time. She is trying to rope me into something involving a bunch of wimmin friends of hers and one mutual guy friend. It involves expensive food and probably foo-foo wine or somethin' I just wanted a simple camping/fishing trip for this weekend. After a bunch of questions and answers and more than a few recriminations I finally started replying to her with, "Chicken Butt!".

She later sent me this Email, "That response is annoying and stupid."

Do I double down and start sending her Emails like, The snozzberries taste like snozzberries! or, You don't even know Napoleon! or the classic, Thats what she said! and then grab my rod and reel and backpack and head out into the wild or do I put on my best lace panties and pick a nice wine cooler to sip with the other ladies? Do I dare use the tried and true (but inflammatory) I know you are- but what am I?

I am so confused. Help me Internet friends.

Wisdom Of A chupacabra

Just because in a given situation there is often more than meets the eye and a deeper meaning to whatever it is you are contemplating, doesn't mean every situation is always more complex and has a deeper meaning than what might be assumed at first glance.