Monday's Missives

• "It gives retarded people a job to do and besides- I pay my taxes". The response I got from someone once when I told them not to throw trash out of my vehicle.


• Quite possibly the most imbecilic thing I've ever heard anyone say in my life.


• "Giving birth is not like it is in the movies. It is bloody, bestial and you get poop on your cowboy boots." A line from an episode of my new favorite show- Glee.


• I watched part of the video for Shakiras song She Wolf- she looked like an autistic person having a seizure with fire ants in their pants.


• While their feet were on fire.


• When my dad was about 12 years old he got bit by a snapping turtle on his thigh. There was a scar that was a deep gouge probably 3/4 of an inch deep and 3 inches wide still there when I was a boy and he showed it to me to keep me from sneaking off and swimming in some nasty stock tank.


• Didn't work.


• The weirdest thing that occurred to me when I thought about that? The turtle could conceivably still be alive (they live up to 150 years) and dad has been dead for nearly 30 years.


• I have personal knowledge of two different people who called a lawyer after a wreck before calling or visiting a doctor.


• We are our own worst enemies.