Thursday, December 17, 2015

Stories From The Front: Continuing Education

Recently I had to undergo some web based reeducation and indoctrination at work. To accomplish the training the Ivory Tower types used an outside company which provided the platform to conduct the training and track results while the content was created and uploaded from our location.

Dutifully I began my computerized flagellation late in the afternoon.

The module was 47 minutes long and was narrated by a lady with one of the most pleasant voices ever- it was too pleasant. Her words began to blend together in one long, sweet sounding but droning chant. As the time approached the 40 minute mark another nurse wandered up to my office. Hey ya'll Kevin is zoned out! Did you see him?

It sounded like she was speaking from the end of a tunnel or I was at the bottom of a well. Everything in my periphery was black. I was answering the random questions that popped up on my screen and didn't miss a single one but she was right- I wasn't there. I tried to speak up for myself but couldn't. I tried to scream but couldn't. I was paralyzed by boredom. My God- have I had a stroke? My higher brain asked while raspy grunting noises came from my throat.

I finally came to and after completing the test associated with the program staggered out of my office still not sure I hadn't had a stroke.

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